Crafty Bastards

  The building’s fire alarm.

  Her unit didn’t have any smoke in it, but she grabbed the clothes she’d laid out for work, pulled them on, and grabbed Baxter’s cat carrier from where it still sat on the bedroom floor, next to the wall.

  Guess not having furniture isn’t a bad thing.

  She found him huddled, terrified, in the bathroom, behind the toilet. Without bothering to be gentle, she set the carrier on its end, grabbed Baxter by the scruff of his neck, lifted him, and dropped him into the carrier and shut the door, making sure it was securely fastened before she ran back into the living room.

  Peering out the viewfinder, she didn’t see anything amiss yet, but now the faint whiffs of smoke were starting to come to her.

  She sat Baxter, now yowling in fear in the carrier, by the front door and ran back to the bedroom to grab her cell phone and charger.

  Her laptop case, purse, and keys were still on the couch, where she’d left them. Sliding her sneakers on, she grabbed everything, including Baxter, and stepped outside.

  Now she saw and smelled the smoke. An upstairs unit two doors down from hers was ablaze.

  Shit!

  She backed away. Before she realized what she was doing, she unlocked her car, threw Baxter and everything else in the backseat, and then moved her car away from the building, getting ready to dial 911 as she did.

  Two people emerged, choking, from the upstairs apartment, and now she heard fire engines approaching.

  Shutting off her phone before the call had even connected, she left it there in the car and raced back to her apartment. There, she scooped her jewelry box into the laundry basket full of dirty clothes. She set it on top of the plastic tub holding her pictures and photo albums, and then ran back outside again carrying them.

  She didn’t want to lose anything else, but everything else was replaceable.

  Firemen, and now a deputy, were going door to door and pounding on them as more firemen set up hoses at the hydrant just outside the building.

  In shock, she returned to her car, uprighted poor Baxter’s carrier, which had landed on its side, and stood there, watching.

  * * * *

  Two hours later, the fire was out and everyone was safe. The Red Cross had shown up to help out.

  While there was no fire damage to her unit, there was smoke and water damage, making it uninhabitable.

  Fuck.

  She knew the important thing was all the building’s residents—and their pets—had gotten out safely.

  But…

  Fuck.

  She didn’t know who else to call. She picked up her phone and, despite it being three o’clock in the morning, she called Essie Collins.

  Essie and her guys arrived twenty minutes later.

  “I’m sorry I called but I didn’t know what else to do,” Cali tearfully said.

  “It’s okay,” Ted assured her. “Can we get any of your stuff out?”

  “I don’t know. They said they can put us up at a hotel but I need someplace I can go with Baxter. I can’t afford an expensive pet deposit.”

  “I’m guessing they’ll give you back your money since you just moved in,” Essie said. “At least most of it.”

  “I don’t know. They’re still trying to get hold of someone at the management company. Apparently the regular manager was out of town this weekend.”

  “Well, for right now, you can come to our place,” Mark said. “We’ll figure out what happens tomorrow once it’s daylight.

  “Essie, you take her home,” Josh said. “We’ll see if they’ll let us salvage her clothes from her apartment.”

  “I had a bed and a couch,” Cali said, the tears finally breaking through. “What the hell else is the universe going to take from me?”

  Essie pulled her into her arms. “You got Baxter, you got your computer, and your jewelry and pictures. Everything else is just stuff. The important things are safe.”

  She gave the guys the key to her apartment. They had driven over in two trucks, and Essie took the car keys from her and made her get in the passenger seat.

  “I’m sorry I’m disrupting your life like this,” Cali said, weary to the depths of her soul.

  “Hey, that’s what friends are for. Like I told you at dinner, I’d be upset if you didn’t call us for stuff like this.”

  “What am I going to do?” In the backseat, Baxter started yowling again. “Crap. I don’t have food or a litter box or anything for him now.”

  “Hold on.” Essie turned the car around.

  “Where are we going?”

  “There’s a Walmart not far from here. Open all night.”

  The adrenaline crash started to set in. Despair and exhaustion only capped off the toxic sundae of emotions coagulating inside her. “I feel like I start to get a handle on things, start to feel good, and wham. If someone’s using a damn voodoo doll on me, I wish to hell they’d just put me out of my misery.”

  Essie refused to let Cali pay for the thirty dollars in basic supplies Baxter would need. When they pulled into Essie’s driveway a little after seven in the morning, Essie realized she was supposed to be at work in twenty minutes.

  “Dammit.”

  “Never mind,” Essie said. “I’ll call June and tell her what happened.”

  “I can’t call off.”

  “You need to sleep.”

  “I have to go in. Just…” She took a deep breath. “Please tell her I’ll be running a few minutes late, but I’ll be there.”

  “Okay.”

  As they were unloading, Max and Sean pulled up next to the driveway. Sean rolled down the passenger window. “What’s going on?”

  Cali waved to them, but continued unloading, wanting to turn around as quickly as possible and get to work. Essie walked over to talk to the men, and by the time Cali was ready to leave for work fifteen minutes later, Essie had joined her in the house.

  “They said if there’s anything you need to let them know,” Essie told her.

  “Thanks. I can’t even begin to think about that right now.”

  “You sure I can’t talk you into trying to sleep?”

  “No. And thank the guys for me for trying to get my stuff. I’m…” She felt the tears coming and choked them back. “I’m sorry.”

  “Stop. We’re family. Oh, wait.” Essie went to the kitchen, rummaged through a drawer, and returned with a key. “Here you go. Alarm code is 2828 and then hit off. To set it, same code, and hit either home or away when you do.”

  Cali added it to her keyring. “Thanks.” After giving Essie a long hug, she said, “If anything else happens, please, just put me out of my misery.”

  “No such luck, sweetie,” Essie told her. “You’re stuck with us.”

  Chapter Four

  Cali had to put gas in her car on the way to work. She bought a large refillable travel mug and topped it off with the strongest blend of coffee the gas station had on tap.

  She knew she’d need every drop of caffeine she could get to make it through the day.

  By noon, she realized she didn’t even have lunch with her. The sandwich was sitting in a zip-top baggie in her fridge.

  At the apartment.

  What was her apartment.

  She locked herself in one of the staff bathrooms, had a good cry, then washed her face and blew her nose.

  Staring at herself in the mirror, she gripped the edges of the sink.

  I can do this. I can do this. This is just a test. I won’t let it break me.

  Maybe the universe at large was trying to push her toward Montana after all, despite it being the last place she wanted to go.

  After all, without a couch or a bed, she could almost fit everything she owned that was still salvageable into her car. Essie had texted her that the men had been allowed to retrieve the rest of her clothes from the apartment and took them to a cleaners for her to get the smoke smell out of them.

  And that they would pick up the expense for her, no arguing allowed.


  She suspected the three corsets she owned were ruined. A couple of other leather and latex garments.

  Then again, Shane and his money bought them for me. Maybe I’m better off without them.

  Before Cali left work for the day, June pulled her aside into her office. On one of the chairs sat a large paper shopping bag filled to the brim with cat accoutrement.

  “This was supposed to be your housewarming gift from me to you and Baxter,” she said, “so now I’m glad I forgot to give it to you on Friday.”

  Cali accepted the older woman’s hug. “Thank you. Believe me, I’m sure the little monster will appreciate it. Poor guy, he just got moved and was settling in, and now he’s moved again.”

  “I’m glad you grabbed him and got him out okay.”

  “Yeah, well, that was one good thing at least. Nowhere for him to hide from me except in the bathroom. I found him immediately.”

  “I’ve got a spare bedroom, if you need anything. I know Essie said you’re covered, but just to let you know.”

  “Thank you.” She hadn’t even told Ellen yet, not wanting her cousin to try to get her to move back there.

  Or rat her out to her ’rents.

  Once her mother found out about this latest development, she’d want to board a plane for Sarasota and drive Cali back to Bozeman personally.

  And if her mom showed up now, Cali wasn’t even sure she had the strength or will to fight her on it.

  When she left the shelter, she stopped by the apartment complex. After waiting in a line behind ten other residents for nearly an hour, she was standing at the complex manager’s desk and being cut a check for her deposit and last month’s rent, since she couldn’t afford to move to either a more expensive, vacant, and livable unit there, or a unit at one of their other properties.

  The first month rent would be refunded to her separately after they’d pro-rated it. She could stop by the next day and pick up that check.

  Sitting in her car, she stared at the check. That was something, at least. While standing in line, she’d heard other residents bitching about not being reimbursed for their belongings, but Cali knew they were screwed if they didn’t have renter’s insurance.

  She hadn’t. She hadn’t had anything worth insuring, except her laptop.

  And Baxter.

  On the way back to Essie’s, she deposited the check at her bank via a drive-through ATM machine. One hurdle jumped.

  Now the search to find somewhere else in the area that she could afford would begin again. There had been other places that were even cheaper, but they’d been in crummier sections of Sarasota and Bradenton. The apartment on Bee Ridge wasn’t the snazziest of places, or the best of areas, but it had been a reasonable choice.

  Back to square one.

  Cali had to park on the street in front of Essie’s house, their driveway filled with their vehicles. Another reason this had to be temporary. While Cali loved her friends and didn’t have a problem with their poly quad dynamic, five adults sharing a house, with one of them not sexually involved with the other four, might get uncomfortable.

  If not for them, then for Cali, who hadn’t been laid since Shane.

  I have to quit thinking about him.

  When Cali walked in carrying the gift bag from June, Baxter met her at the front door.

  She set the bag down and scooped him up, hugging him. From the kitchen she smelled delicious aromas.

  Essie stuck her head through the doorway. “Oh, good! You’re just in time for dinner.”

  “I’m sorry about Baxter,” she said. “I thought I closed my bedroom door.”

  Essie smiled. “You did. He wanted out. He’s allowed the run of the house. I moved his litter pan to the guest bath. We like animals, obviously, in my case. We’ve just been too busy right now to think about getting any of our own. He’s welcomed here.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Is that the goodie bag June told me about?”

  “Yeah.” She set Baxter down and picked it up. “Why do I get the feeling she fibbed about it being a housewarming gift she ‘forgot’ to give me? The woman is like an elephant. She forgets nothing.”

  Essie smiled. “Does it matter?”

  “I guess not. Do I have time for a shower?”

  “If you want. We’re eating out on the lanai anyway. It’s too gorgeous out. Max and Sean will be joining us.”

  Cali sniffed her shirt. “Maybe I should take a shower.” Then the thought hit her, nearly driving her to tears. “Oh, wait, I can’t take a shower. I don’t have stuff, and I don’t have clean clothes to put on anyway. I guess I need to go by the store again.”

  “The guys grabbed your bathroom stuff. I put it in the guest bathroom for you. And if you mean the basket of clothes you brought with you, I did those for you this morning after you left.”

  Now the tears did come and Cali gave up trying to hold them back. “Thank you. How the hell am I going to be able to repay you?”

  “For starters, get a shower. I love you, but I volunteer there, too, remember. I know the routine. You really should take a shower.” She grinned. “Especially since Max and Sean are coming over.”

  “Why do I get the feeling this is like you’re trying to arrange a date or something?”

  Essie’s grin widened. “Never you mind. Just go.”

  Baxter followed her. Sure enough, Essie had folded all the clothes for her and left them neatly stacked in her basket. The guest room didn’t have a dresser she could use.

  Then again, I didn’t even have a dresser I could use.

  She grabbed clothes and was heading to the bathroom when Essie stopped her in the hallway, a glass of chilled white Zinfandel in her hand. This she forced Cali to take.

  “Here. You need it.”

  “I’m not even going to argue.”

  “Good, because I don’t want you arguing. I want you to relax. I left towels in there for you. What’s not in the shower, I stuck under the sink, if you’re missing something.”

  “Thanks.” She kissed Essie on the cheek. “I’m going to start calling you my Fairy Godmother.”

  After Cali finished her shower, Essie met her with the bottle of wine and gave her a refill.

  “You trying to get me liquored up to have your way with me later, lady?” she teased.

  “Just trying to lubricate you through the rest of what was admittedly a worse than normal Monday, even by Monday standards.”

  “You ain’t kidding.”

  Cali was sitting on the lanai with Ted while Baxter investigated the safety of the screened confines. That was one thing, at least. Baxter was an inside-only cat. The short time they’d be staying there, he could explore the lanai and almost be outside. At the apartment, all he’d had was a tiny screened balcony barely large enough to sit on from which to look at the world. Mark and Josh were inside helping Essie finish up dinner when the doorbell rang.

  “And there are Max and Sean,” Ted said.

  “Fess up, headshrinker. What’s Essie got planned?”

  Ted, the eldest of the three Collins brothers, was also a licensed counselor who specialized in working with people with hoarding disorders. “I don’t know,” he said. “But whatever it is, I strongly suggest letting her do it. Because you know how determined she is to see other people get their happily ever afters.”

  That was all he had time to say before Essie, wearing a broad, beaming grin, escorted Max and Sean onto the lanai. Before Cali could stop her, her friend had also refilled her wine glass.

  She wasn’t normally much of a drinker, but tonight Cali would make an exception. She’d dang sure earned it, and sleeping wouldn’t be difficult considering how exhausted she already felt from the early morning panic.

  Yeah, dinner with Max and Sean wasn’t a hardship. Max was a lean and lanky six two, dark-blond hair and brown eyes. Sean was about an inch shorter, and while a little stockier in build, he was definitely in shape. Just a hint of grey at the temples of his brown hair, and his cr
isp blue eyes definitely melted her.

  Or, maybe that was the third glass of white Zin.

  They’re gay, duh.

  Still, a girl could dream and fantasize. After the craptastic day she’d had, a little fantasizing was a free indulgence that, for once, she’d let herself get lost in.

  Chapter Five

  Sean smiled when he saw Cali sitting at the table on the lanai. “Hi.”

  After their brief talk with Essie that morning before they drove in to work, Sean had made up his mind. “Let’s ask Cali to move in with us,” he’d said.

  Max had given him “that look,” the one that wasn’t quite a frown but close enough to have the same zip code. “She’s not our unicorn.”

  “Don’t you like her?”

  “Yeah, I like her,” Max said. “I like her a lot. She’s cute, I like her, and she just went through another life trauma that I feel horrible about on her behalf. You don’t want to just move her in. You want her.”

  “Duh.”

  “You don’t know she has any interest in us. She probably thinks we’re gay.”

  “And we could quickly correct that erroneous impression if she were living with us.”

  “She has a cat.”

  Sean frowned. “I thought you liked cats.”

  “I do like cats. Other people’s cats. We don’t have time for a pet.”

  “He wouldn’t be our pet. He’s Cali’s. You said it yourself that you wanted to talk to her about helping us redesign our website. How much more perfect could that be if she were living with us, huh?”

  Max had let out a groan. “Oh, this is going to go sideways in a bad way. I can feel it already.”

  “That’s not a no.”

  Max had given him “the look” again.

  “Oh, come on. How many times have we come back here, alone, after testing implements on her at the club, and fantasized about having her in our bed? Being too chickenshit to approach her about it for fear of freaking her out?”