Emanate: Insight Series ((Insight) Web of Hearts and Souls)

“Who would not do that?”

  He glanced away as he let out a breath; you didn’t need insights to realize that I was frustrating him. “The same demons are going to show up over and over until you learn to defeat them. Your ego has protected you, allowed you to hide behind anger and wrath. Something changed. I felt it the moment it did.”

  I let out a withering breath. “Let me be clear: it is not wise for you to say that you have any connection to me. Landen is not himself lately.” Without knowing why, my hand reached out to comfort him, to offer him some kind of security. I stopped before my hand met his body.

  “Apparently, neither are you,” he said as he obviously noticed my hesitation.

  My eyes shifted over him, still not knowing exactly how to take him. “He’s looking for you. He wants to know what’s going on in Esterious, why it has anything to do with me.”

  “It doesn’t.”

  “You’re sure? Drake is not at risk?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “Tell me now.”

  “No.”

  “How can you can call me sovereign one minute and disobey me the next?”

  He leaned forward dominantly, and I felt fear. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, I really did, but it was instinct that thrust me back. “You have to deal with this emotion before you help anyone else.”

  Right then, Phoenix appeared out of nowhere and that sound was back in my ears. It had to be because I thought I heard Phoenix say, “Boat of bate,” but knowing him, he more than likely said, “Back off, mate.”

  I was leaning forward, holding my ears, trying to figure out what I did to make it come back and why the ground fell, only to rise again, so it took me a second to see Justus and Phoenix nearly chest-to-chest.

  “The only warning I will abide by is hers,” Justus said in a lethal tone.

  Phoenix responded, but I couldn’t hear him.

  “Why can I not hear him?” I said in a desperate gasp as I held on to the Jeep for balance.

  Justus moved to catch me, but Phoenix didn’t see it as him protecting me; he saw it as a threat and thrust his energy right at Justus.

  I felt that. I felt it as if he had struck me and I had zero defenses up. Everything in my body vibrated in pain.

  Landen appeared at that moment, standing between Phoenix and Justus.

  I was in so much pain that I could not even think a single thought to stop Landen. I just knew he would hurt Justus—and for some odd reason, I wanted to take the blow. I didn’t want a single soul to lay a hand on him, and it had nothing to do with the fact that I would feel it anyway.

  Chapter Nine

  ~ Landen ~

  Phoenix wanted to talk to me about this line up of conflicts. He’d tracked me down in Esterious, and I told him to meet me at home, but I was only going to be there for a second. He agreed and went on his way. Not long after that, I felt a defensive rage coming from Phoenix. In the same instant, I felt a pain bolt through me as I saw Willow’s image flash before my mind’s eye.

  I wanted to be at her side that instant and appeared in the fields of Chara—and what did I find when I appeared here? Phoenix head-to-head with Justus, who I was already hunting for, and Willow crouched down in pain. Yep, he was going right back to the grave this instant.

  Phoenix backed off, knowing this was my place—my judgment to deliver.

  “He was in her face when I showed up—we went at it, then he went after her right as she went down,” Phoenix said to catch me up.

  “You,” Justus said. “You’re the reason she went down—did it make you feel like a man hitting her like that?” All too coolly, Justus clearly sized up his battle plan to take on Phoenix.

  I saw red. I couldn’t see Phoenix being at fault with any of this, but someone was going to pay for putting Willow in pain.

  “Landen,” Willow’s voice echoed in my thoughts.

  In an instant, I was at her side, knowing she came first. She was trying to stand.

  “Where does it hurt?” I asked as my hands reached for her shoulders.

  She sighed at my touch. Calming her calmed me, but I still didn’t understand what the hell was going on here.

  “It’s gone now. I can’t hear. I can hear Justus. I can hear you in my thoughts, but I can’t hear Phoenix or your voice.”

  That was not helping my temper. It was bad enough that he carried her scent—now he was one of two she could hear? I reached for her ears, sending a healing energy there, but the look in her eyes told me there was no relief.

  “It’s going to take more than you to heal that,” I heard Justus say. He really did like being dead, now didn’t he?

  “According to her, she was with you when this happened. So we have a debt to square,” I said, letting my hands fall from Willow and turning to face him.

  Willow gripped my waist. I gave her a solemn glance. I wouldn’t hurt Justus unless there was a solid reason. I wasn’t sure if she could feel my intent or not, but surely she knew me well enough to know how I would handle this. I didn’t get how we could be in sync one moment and not the next.

  Justus had the audacity to smirk. “She’s your Flame. You will not hurt her.”

  Well, at least he wasn’t trying to steal her affections. One mark in the survival box for Justus. Of course, there were a few more in the sudden death box countering that solitary plus.

  “What does that have to do with you?”

  “I’m hers.”

  Wrong thing to say to me. On instinct I charged forward, but Willow grasped my arm, yelling my name. “Please!” she said. “It’s maternal, I swear. Maternal…nothing else.”

  What was with today? First she tells me can’t have a family—which was not even on the radar—and now she was calling this boy her son? Someone that grew up with our fathers?

  She squeezed my arm, and this time I saw the other day more clearly—heard the words he said to her. What he called her.

  “What’s that look, mate?” Phoenix asked me.

  I was speechless at first. I had committed to forgetting about the seven sisters, about the fall of the existing Master Escorts, and was focused on the ceremony of the Flames—on coming clean with Willow and letting her know how dangerous it was to love me. How final it was.

  While she was lost in that slumber, I’d agreed with Draven and Phoenix on the point that we had to conquer this next ordeal from our own designated corners of this curse, that they had to do their thing and I had to do mine. We were all planning to tell Drake the same thing when he surfaced again. He’d been on hiatus for the last few days with Madison.

  Still staring at Willow, I answered Phoenix. “Justus seems to think that Willow is the Master Escort of Fear, or at least she will be once we finally end Donalt. He claims that her energy called him before she became Aliyanna, that he is her First.”

  I studied her every feature, looking for a reaction, to see what she thought about my summary, but clearly she was still struggling to hear. Right now, my voice was reverent and low—she didn’t hear a word I said. Her eyes pleaded with me to explain to her what was going on, but I didn’t know where to start, and if I went down this road, then I would never come clean about the rest—I knew that because in the past that was exactly what happened. The second I went to lay it all out, to tell her all my fears, all the secrets of my past, something popped up and whisked both of our focuses in another direction. I couldn’t let that happen right now. Not when I was so close to connecting with her before.

  I kicked myself for leaving her, for going after Justus to figure out what was going down in Esterious. I opened this gate, and now I needed to close it.

  I kissed her temple as I pulled her against me. Feeling the strength of the hold I had on her, she clutched her hands against my chest, a silent request to protect her from whatever was happening right now.

  I could feel the pain of grief, shock, and fear slamming into Willow.

  “What do you know about the seven?” Phoenix asked Justus coldly.

/>   “I only know what my Sovereign told me in our brief time together in the cosmos. She is to rise once she has mastered her emotion. She will not be alone.”

  I had a million questions for Justus, but the fact was that none of them would stop what was already coming at us.

  “This is why she has your scent,” I said, moving my eyes back to Justus.

  One nod.

  “You know the other six?” Phoenix asked as I said, “Why has her scent changed?”

  I pulled Willow under my arm. She was near frantic. She was trying to follow the conversation, but without my thoughts she could only hear what Justus was saying, and so far he hadn’t said anything too terrifying. She was clearly reading my and Phoenix’s body language.

  Justus glanced at Phoenix. “I’m more than sure you are aware of at least one of the others.” His gaze moved to me. “I don’t know what happened when she vanished. All I know is wrath is vacant now.”

  Phoenix and I locked stares. He and I had lingered with the dead, with Escorts, for more years than I care to remember. At one time, we were advised to reach out to the King of Anger. We were told he was not the same, that he would help us plot against Donalt. Apparently, every Escort alive wished to be ruled and protected by him.

  Phoenix had assumed I found him just before we met in New Orleans. He said that both Willow and I had his scent lingering on us, a deep, rich mint. I had no memory of that, and surely Willow would have bothered to mention coming face-to-face with a king, one that had as much power as he indisputably did.

  Phoenix and I both dropped the idea that we had unknowingly crossed Vade’s path once Phoenix met Drake and Draven. The two of them had that scent. It wasn’t as powerful, but one that only a seasoned Phoenix could sense…well, that and one of The Selected.

  Justus was waving a red flag right now, one that said Willow could have very well been protected by that king up until this point, and for some reason he took his protection away.

  It’s impossible to get a conference with the current Master Escorts, or at least to get one with the King of Anger, Vade. I tried to find his First, Rasp, more than a few times back in the day. I never came close to getting either of them to show their face. And now, after all this time, I was questioning if it was possible that he had heard our request and had protected Willow. Yet now he stopped, he stripped her of anger. Why now? What the hell is going on?

  “We have not crossed Vade. He is the only one we respect. Why is he hurting her now? You know what she and I have to do for Chara now,” I said to Justus.

  “Why do you see this as a punishment? Has anger not imprisoned her? Stopped her from mastering her emotion?” Justus asked as his eyes moved from mine to Willow’s.

  “She’s weak, you fool,” Phoenix bit out.

  “She’s not hiding anymore. Or at least trying not to. Ego often uses anger to fuel its path. Her soul has not felt the emotion she must rule—fear.”

  That made sense. Yet, what I didn’t understand was why now. If the King of Anger was now against us, targeting Willow’s emotions…we were doomed.

  “Willow has felt fear. In every life,” I said, wishing I could erase the memories of what she has lived through from her mind.

  “Not to the level of a sovereign.”

  We all glared for a few seconds. I still wasn’t sure what do with the certainty of this revelation. Justus was living, breathing proof. He was not a scroll, a myth, or legend. He was proof. His intent was to protect Willow as true as any noble First, and truth was in the words he spoke to me. He took away all doubt that Willow was destined to be a Goddess, destined to rule Escorts, to restore that breed of supernatural souls to their original charge. Relieving emotions, not invoking them.

  “Should you not be preparing for your ceremony?” Justus said with a raised brow.

  Now, that was even more confusing. Obviously, Willow had somewhere else to be in her future. With any luck, I would be at her side, so why was he set on this ceremony?

  “One second you’re telling me my soul mate will become a Master Escort, and the next you are telling me she needs to become a Flame.”

  Justus’ gray eyes glanced over me. “You do not become a Flame. Has your father really left you that blind?”

  It was a reflex—my energy lashed out at him, but I pulled it back the second the thought hit me that I still didn’t know why Willow went down before.

  He swayed back as if I’d only nudged him, and Willow’s arms clasped around me. My energy was already pouring through her, not allowing her to feel a single ounce of pain.

  I glanced down at her, then to Justus. “She was safer with you in the grave. I do not need another reason to worry about her—if you’re out lurking in Esterious, you’re putting her at risk.”

  “No one there can hurt me.”

  “Obviously. Willow feels the pain instead.”

  “I’m a First. Her First. Only Masters can bring a blow to me. Only Masters can take me down—and when they do, she feels that. To take down a Master, you take down the First,” Justus said with a wicked glance to Phoenix.

  “Explain this myth to me right now,” Phoenix demanded. Justus had just flat out called him a destined sovereign, slaughtering any hope that we had read this prophecy the wrong way.

  Justus ignored him, his stare moving to Willow, then shifting to me. “You’re disconnected. Fix that.”

  Phoenix went to argue with him, but I held my hand up. “She can hear him.” I knew if Justus dove into an explanation, that was where my focus would go. One thing at a time. My stare moved back to Justus. “What is the deal with the explosions in Esterious? What did you find out there?”

  “Those fools are trying to breach the borders with those blasts. They think they’re discrediting the green-eyed princess that Drake is courting. The timing lines up with Chara’s ceremony.”

  “And therefore what Draven and I are working on,” Phoenix said as he clenched his jaw.

  One nod from Justus.

  “You know what,” Phoenix said as his anger washed away, “this might be good. We needed a volt of energy to spur this spell. Explosions might do it—that is, if we can channel that. I just need to figure out what those fools are going to blow up, and exactly when.”

  I nodded. “I meeting Drake. He’s back. I’m meeting him a few hours after sunset. We can go over how this is lining up then. Tell Draven to be there.”

  Phoenix gave a sympathetic glance to Willow before he said, “I’ll let Draven know. We’ll meet you later.” Then he vanished.

  I locked eyes with Justus. “Stay out of trouble.”

  “Find her soul,” he said to me, but while staring at her.

  “Hold on to me,” I thought.

  I should have taken her straight to the Radiance. I knew that. But right now, without anger as a shield, she needed to learn to face fear. And there was one place that helped me master that emotion—the same place that had helped me teach Drake to master it.

  She never liked traveling like this. It always made her dizzy. This hidden world wasn’t far, but I did what I could to protect her anyway by shielding her in my energy and sending a calm emotion through her body.

  “We’re here.”

  She opened her eyes and gazed up at me from beneath my shoulder. I felt her intent. She wanted to explain away any connection to Justus she may have. She wanted to know what war was waiting on us. Who was in danger and how it was her fault. Her intent was easy to recognize—it had always been the same since we had met, only now instead of Drake’s name on that list, it was Justus’.

  “The only war we need to worry about now is the one between you and me,” I said to answer the look in her eyes and the intent that was slamming into my thoughts.

  So much for being a poet. All that phrase did was terrify her. I could see her eyes searching over my image, feel her questioning what could be wrong between us.

  “I would never lie to you, Willow…but sometimes lies are unspoken.”

&n
bsp; “I don’t want to hear it,” she thought with a quiver. “I want to know what I did, what you did, but I don’t want to hear it.”

  That was a true Willow statement. She always wanted to know what was wrong and how to fix it, she wanted to know her past so she could answer for her actions, but that desire had given her nothing but heartache and confusion before. Recently, it was my fault she felt like that.

  Before Skylynn or Phoenix came into our lives, she carried the guilt of past mistakes on her own; now we both fought that demon. She may have seen the times she was in Drake’s arms, even dreamed them in enough detail to remember them as her own, but dreams are not as solid as living in the moment.

  I remembered every time I’d strayed away from our love. I remembered every single deceiving thing I’d thought or the words I’d said as if it were yesterday. That revelation made what was before us so much harder. The mystery of why we were so entangled with evil didn’t exist anymore, at least not to the degree it had before. I knew how much time had passed, how many chances we’d had to make this right, to make us right, and I knew how many times we had failed. I knew we were out of time. She had to sense that. That’s why she wanted, but didn’t want, to know.

  “I wish I could go back to when I first laid eyes on you and choose a different path.”

  I braced her arms, sending calm through her. As much as I was giving her, she should have been in a trance at this point, but she trembled on.

  “Listen to me…” I thought as my hand caressed her beautiful face. “I feel like a coward for telling you this when you do not have anger for a defense, because you deserve to be angry.”

  Her stare went wide. I brushed my thumb across her lips, silently asking that she would not stop me. I had managed to come this far with this well-rehearsed speech; if I halted now, I may never say it.

  “I knew a long time ago what we would face right now. I didn’t tell you for a thousand reasons, and even today, right now, I can’t tell you what’s in front of us, for sure what will or will not happen. I can’t tell you that I understand it because I don’t. All I can promise you is if we don’t fix what’s wrong between us, it’s not going to matter—if you and I are not right, then there is no threat larger than that.”