Worth Forgiving

  “Broken rib, pretty bruised. But he’ll live,” he says. “Liv said he woke up a little while ago, doc gave him pain killers so he was out like a light for half the day.”

  Liv. A lot has happened in the last few weeks. Jax is apparently close with a brother he despised only a few weeks ago and his new girlfriend has a name. Liv. Wonderful, how cheery, perhaps he’s working his way through the alphabet, L-i-l, L-i-v.

  I nod, wishing I’d never asked, and begin to walk away. Vince yells over his shoulder, “He’s in the Penthouse if you want to visit.”

  Sure, I’d like nothing more than to spend some quality time with Jax and Liv.

  Chapter 35

  Jax – 2 days later

  The hairs on the back of my neck rise before I see him. My body alert when he turns the corner into the hotel lobby where I’m standing. He grins, it’s the face of a madman. I already know he doesn’t play by the rules, the twisted fucker has balls of steal as he walks right up to me. I’m standing between Nico Hunter and Vince Stone, two of the most powerful fighters in the world, and he doesn’t hesitate one bit.

  Nico takes a step forward. “Give me one reason, you piece of shit.”

  Ignoring him completely, Caden focuses on me. “I’ll be back inside that sweet pussy in a week,” he leans forward and whispers. He must have a death wish. I grab him by the neck and warn, “You’re out of your fucking mind, Ralley. I’ll have the police waiting for you when you land in New York.”

  He doesn’t flinch. Probably thinks I’m talking about the fight. “I know all about the money you stole. Told Joe about it this morning. Heading to talk to Lily about it now. Was going to let them decide what to do with you, but on second thought, your ass definitely needs to be locked up. So you step one foot in New York, I’ll make sure you do five years for grand theft.” His face is turning purple from my grip, yet he makes no attempt to break free. Twisted doesn’t begin to describe how fucked up this guy is.

  “He’s not worth it,” Vince warns.

  I squeeze harder, knowing I could crush his windpipe right at this moment. I probably should, although the thought of sending this jacked up asshole with rage issues to prison is a lot more appealing than a death that comes quick and relatively pain free. I let go and he grins and walks away.

  “That’s one sick son of a bitch,” Vince says as Caden walks away as calmly as he approached.

  “No shit,” Nico agrees.

  My taxi pulls up out front and I say goodbye. “Thanks for everything.”

  “You got it.” Nico says with a nod. “Take care of yourself, man. If you’re ever in Chicago, stop by the gym.”

  I nod and turn to face my brother. “I can’t thank you enough for everything. I owe you.”

  “You’ll give Liv an exclusive when you win the title next time. Recover, get your girl back, then get back in the ring.”

  I smile. “Okay, but I’m going to lose a few pounds and drop down to your weight, so she has to write about how I kicked your ass.”

  He laughs. “In your dreams, brother. In your dreams.”

  ***

  At the airport, I change my ticket to D.C. in for a ticket to New York. Joe told me Lily left early. I need to tell her about Caden stealing and go to the police. If she doesn’t want to be with me, I’ll deal with it, but there’s no way I’m letting that sick son of a bitch anywhere near her.

  Chapter 36

  Lily

  Not even Reed can get me to smile the last two days.

  I go to work, spend twelve hours a day trying to get caught up, and come back home to share a quart of Ben and Jerry’s with my best friend. I’m a ball of fun.

  The last member exits, I lock the door and sit behind the reception desk to draw. It’s the only thing that brings me any peace. Although it’s probably not healthy because I have no desire to draw anything but Jax.

  I lose myself in sketching the rigid lines of his jaw, drawing him from memory, I close my eyes and picture the stubble on his face. Remembering the way it felt under my fingers as I brushed my hand across his skin in the early morning after we spent all night exploring each other’s bodies. A light tap on the door startles me from my daydream.

  For a second I wonder if my memory is playing tricks on me. Because suddenly, standing a few feet on the other side of the glass, is the man in the flesh. My heart leaps in my chest and I feel more alive than I have in weeks. I take steps toward the door, but my feet feel weighed down and getting one foot in front of the other is like wading through a pool of neck high water.

  I unlock the door and he opens it slowly. “Can I come in?”

  I blink my eyes a few times to snap myself out of it. “Yes. Sure. Sorry, you just caught me by surprise.”

  I lock the door behind him and turn. He’s right there, so close I could reach out and touch him. It’s all I want to do, but I don’t. My body is drawn to his with a pull that’s surreal. It’s a test of endurance just to keep my hands at my sides.

  “How are you feeling?” I ask referring to his ribs.

  “Better now.” His eyes are such a beautiful shade of blue and so full of emotion, I almost believe that it’s me that makes him feel better. Then I remember the girlfriend that was in his Penthouse taking care of him and I force down my own desires. I walk back around the counter to put a safe distance between us.

  “I’m glad you had someone to take care of you.”

  He nods. “He turned out to be a pretty good guy.”

  “Your brother?”

  “Yeah. Him and Liv took care of me for a few days. Doctor gave me painkillers that knocked me out pretty good.”

  Liv. Does he really need to bring her up? How insensitive can he be? “What can I do for you Jax?” My entire demeanor changes, my body might not know this man no longer belongs to me, but my brain sure does. I’m actually glad he brought her up, it has the effect of throwing a glass of cold water in my face. Waking me from my dreamy eyed stupor.

  He furrows his brow, noticing the change. The temperature just dropped ten degrees, it would be hard not to. “Did I say something wrong?”

  “No. Why would you think that?” I say, sarcasm unmistakable in my voice.

  “What’s going on, Lily?” he walks to the counter.

  “Nothing Jax. What did you want? I’d prefer to discuss whatever it is you came here for. I really have no interest in discussing your Penthouse romp with your girlfriend.”

  “My girlfriend? What are you talking about?”

  “Liv. I went to the front desk to see how you were feeling and they told me your girlfriend had checked you out and into her Penthouse.”

  “Is that what this is about?”

  “No. It’s about forgetting. I just need to move on with my life and you aren’t helping every time you decide to pop back into it.”

  “You’re jealous of Liv?”

  “I’m not jealous of anyone!” I defend myself a little too vigorously.

  “Liv is Vince’s girlfriend. I was staying with Vince and Liv. In the second bedroom of the Penthouse they shared together.” He crosses his arms tightly over his chest. His jaw tightens and I can’t tell if it’s from the argument or the touch so close to his ribs.

  “Whatever. It doesn’t matter. Just tell me what you’re here for.” My head feels so jumbled.

  “You think so little of me that I would be over you so quickly? That I’d bring a woman to Vegas knowing you’d be there?”

  Feeling painfully confused, I look at him, my emotions in turmoil, and he glares at me, waiting for a response. Only I have no idea what to say.

  “I don’t know what to say, Jax.”

  “You just said it all,” he says quietly, his handsome face looking forlorn. “I need to tell you a few things and then I’ll be gone. I won’t interrupt your life anymore after that. I promise.”

  There’s a somberness in his expression when he continues. “Caden has been stealing from you for a long time.”

  “What are you talk
ing about?”

  “Remember the auditor that came in? Mrs. Waters?”

  “Yes.”

  “She consolidated the ledgers from all sixty-two of your gyms to see if she could find any redundancies when she was here. Sixty-one of the stores were paying a management fee of a thousand dollars a month to Ralley Management Inc. for the last nine months.”

  “Who is Ralley Management?”

  “That’s what she wasn’t sure of. She thought maybe it was a note the gyms were paying back to Joe, so she didn’t mention it at first. But the checks were cashed on a City Bank account so she was able to verify the account owner. There was only one. Caden Ralley. He’s been syphoning sixty-one thousand dollars a month for close to a year. That’s why your cash flow was tight. It was hard to see it since it wasn’t a big amount for any one location.”

  A knot forms in my throat and I can barely breathe. “I don’t understand.”

  “You said yourself you leaned on him after your father died. He took advantage. Probably set it up with the stores when you were going through a hard time, so none of the managers bothered to ask you about it.”

  The memory comes back to me. “I sent out an email telling the managers to work with Caden, that he would be helping keep the books organized while I was out for a while.” I sit down, feeling suddenly dizzy and overwhelmed. “I’m such an idiot.”

  “You’re not an idiot. You were devastated when your dad died and taking help was a smart decision. Caden took advantage of you.”

  I feel like such a fool. How could I have not noticed so much money disappearing. “What do I do now?”

  “You need to report it. I’ll go with you to the police if you want tomorrow. But he needs to be arrested. He’s out of control and I know he’s planning on coming back here. Thinks you two can get back together now that we’re…” he trails off.

  “Not together,” I finish his sentence with a low shaky voice.

  He nods.

  “Okay. He should be punished for what he did to you anyway.”

  Jax attempts a smile. “You want me to pick you up in the morning and we can go together or you want me to meet you there?”

  “I’ll meet you there. The thirteenth precinct is just two blocks over.”

  He nods and turns toward the door. “One more thing.”

  “There’s more?”

  “I want to come clean about one thing too, Lily.”

  “What?” My head is spinning, I’m not sure how much more I can take.

  “The bank line of credit? They didn’t reconsider it and open it back up. I guaranteed it.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I wanted to help. I can’t prove it, but I have a feeling my father used his influence to hurt you and make it look like I did it. He didn’t want me to invest in Ralley’s. Didn’t want me to stay in New York. I know you don’t believe me, but I had nothing to do with the bank pulling your line of credit, Lily.”

  “So you guaranteed a half million dollar loan personally to fix it?”

  “I’m sorry. I just didn’t want any more secrets between us. I was only trying to help. Now that Caden won’t be syphoning cash out, your cash flow will improve in no time and I’m sure the bank will really reconsider. Then they can cancel my guarantee and you can be totally free from me.”

  Nothing in the world hurts more than the thought of his last few words. Being totally free of him. But I’m so drained at this moment, I can’t even think clearly.

  “Thank you for doing that for me and Joe.”

  He looks down, seeing the drawing I’m working on for the first time and looks me in the eyes. Something clicks inside of me and I suddenly feel like I might break. Break into a million little pieces right in front of this man. He’s so strong and balanced and I’m an emotional train wreck bearing down on a crash full speed ahead.

  We both say nothing until he turns, grabbing the door and orders, “Lock the door behind me. Call a cab. Don’t walk tonight.”

  ***

  Two hours later, my mind is still swirling but I know one thing. I’ll never be able to forget this man. I’m not sure what I’m going to say, but when I see the towering lights of the San Marco Hotel up ahead, I tell the driver to go straight instead of turning toward my apartment.

  The elevator climbs painstakingly slowly to the thirty-third floor. I smile when I realize he’s staying in a regular room and not a suite. My knock on the door is so light, I’m surprised when the door opens.

  Standing before me, a towel wrapped around his narrow waist, is the man I’m head over heels in love with. The one I have no choice but to forgive, because there’s no chance in hell I’m ever going to be able to forget. I just hope he’ll forgive me too.

  We stand there staring for a long time, our eyes locked, my heart beating out of control, a connection sizzling between us more powerful than anything I’ve ever experienced with another human being. “I can’t forget you,” I whisper.

  Not surprisingly, he seems confused with my comment. “Come in.”

  He closes the door behind him and turns to face me, goosebumps break out all over my body when he reaches his big hand down around my neck and takes a step closer to me. He squeezes my neck, forcing me to look up at him, and when I do he leans down and kisses my lips ever so gently. “I can’t forget you either,” he says, his nose just inches from mine.

  “You were jealous of Liv? I was so pissed you thought so little of me that I would bring a woman to where I knew you’d be, I didn’t even stop to realize what it meant. If you’re jealous, it means you still have feelings for me. I was just showering and coming to you.”

  “You were?”

  “Were you jealous, Lily?”

  So much so that I couldn’t even think straight. “Yes.”

  “Why?” he takes a step closer. His chest is heaving and his breathing is as labored as mine.

  “Because.”

  “Because why, Lily?”

  He wants to hear me say it. “Because the thought of you with anyone else causes me physical pain.”

  He takes my hand and lifts it to his mouth, kissing the palm and then every finger. “Why does it hurt?”

  “You know why.” My voice shakes out of me.

  “No, I need you to tell me why. I need you to go first, because I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life and you keep running away from me.”

  “You hurt me.”

  “I know I did and I’m sorry. But I’ve never run away from what I feel about you. And I’ve been trying to show you for weeks, but you won’t give me a chance. Are you really going to give me a chance this time, Angel?”

  “Yes.” I swallow the lump in my throat. I’ve been so self-consumed with how he hurt me, I never stopped to think about what I might be doing to him.

  “I…” my words get stuck in my throat when I really see his chest for the first time. I’ve been standing here with him in a towel since he opened the door, how could I have not seen it sooner. It’s huge. The bruise covers half of his rib cage and it’s dark blue, almost black. Seeing it makes my heart feel like a huge hand has reached in and strangled it so tightly I can barely breathe. Remembering what he did the first time he saw the bruise on my neck Caden had left, I lean down and gently kiss it. First I trace every inch of the outline of it. Then I spend the next few minutes covering every inch of his beautiful skin that is blackened with whisper soft kisses. His chest tightens when I hit a certain spot and I know that must be where the break is. Tears burn my eyes thinking of the pain that Caden has caused him. Caused us. Physically and emotionally.

  He looks down watching as I cover the last bit of bruised surface with kisses. His eyes are searching mine. He needs assurance as much as I do. This confident man, full of arrogance and sexy bravado, looks so vulnerable. So I open up my heart, taking a risk I know will crush me if it doesn’t work out, but it’s a risk I have no choice but to take. Taking a deep breath, I look up into his eyes as I finally confess, ??
?I’m in love with you, Jax.”

  His eyes close, and when he opens them again, something is different. He stares at me so intensely, I’m sure he can see through to my soul. It should scare me, but instead my heart wants to open and sing. His eyes travel around my face and then lock to mine, everything else in the universe fades away when he speaks and it’s only me and him. “I smell you when you’re nowhere near me. I feel you, without touching. When you walk into a room, I know you’re there even before I look up. Every time I see you smile, I smile. Your happiness has become my happiness. Either I’m in love with you, or you really are my very own angel. Either way, we were meant to be.”

  Tears threaten to spill as he speaks. I hold them back for as long as I can. The first one falls when his voice cracks. “I’m sorry, Angel. I never meant to hurt you.” He wipes my tear with a soft brush of his thumb on my cheek. “Please give me a reason to wake up every morning and show you I’m worth forgiving.”

  I smile even though tears begin to stream down my face. “I hate waking up without you next to me. I sleep on my side of the bed when you’re not there and every time I reach over, I’m reminded it’s empty. And it makes me feel empty.”

  Jax smiles, his own eyes filling. He takes my face between his hands. “We’ll have to do something about that.” Softly, he kisses my lips. Pulling his head back to look at me, a devilish grin threatens at his serious face. “I can think of one way to make you feel less empty right now.” He arches an eyebrow.

  The thought of him filling me makes my body hum and my teary eyes glaze over.

  “It drives me crazy when you look at me like that, you know,” he growls.

  “Like what?”

  “Like you’re picturing what I’m going to do to you before I even get your panties off.”

  I smirk. “I’m not wearing any. I took them off in the taxi on the way over here.”

  His eyes flash and he growls into my mouth as his hand goes under my skirt and up my thigh. My body tingles everywhere he touches, lord I missed this man. We both groan when his finger slides across my wetness. His eyes narrow. “You came over here without panties, Angel?” he says, a possessive warning in his voice, making me wetter. I close my eyes and squeal when he grabs a handful of my ass and pulls me tightly against him.