Breathe
“Look at that,” Mum says, seeing Niamh’s hand in mine. “Now isn’t that lovely.” She smiles and so does the Pod Minister. Lennon and Keane grin, too. And then Niamh laughs, her head tipping backward theatrically. Ronan rolls his eyes again. The only person who still looks worried is my father.
“Quinn will be ready, Pod Minister. Don’t worry about that.” My father moves toward my mother, and when he gets close enough to her, touches her tummy. He watches me the whole time, making sure I understand that my obedience protects our whole family. And I do intend to be obedient. I plan to tell my fellow citizens everything I know. I couldn’t have asked for a better opportunity to tell the truth.
47
ALINA
The snow makes it difficult to climb, especially now that I’m reattached to an airtank, and if I didn’t think this might be my last chance to sit in the trees, I’d shimmy back down again and tiptoe into a warm room. Jazz is almost at the top of the leafless oak next to me, nestled in against its cold trunk, humming to herself, and Dorian is almost at the top of his tree, too. When I get up to the same height as them I find a strong branch and brush away the layer of snow covering it so I can lie on my back along its length.
“You’ll fall!” Dorian calls. I pretend I can’t hear him. The blinds haven’t yet been closed for the night. I stretch out, looking up at the black sky flecked with tiny winking stars. I can’t remember the last time I saw the sky like this.
My breathing slows and I allow myself to be right here, in the moment, savoring the peace. All the millions and millions of stars remind me, too, how small and fragile I am. And unimportant, really. If this branch were to creak and moan and break under my weight, and I were to plummet to the ground, the stars in the sky would continue to decorate the world. And even if every last tree disappears from our planet, the stars will still be up there. Flickering their good-nights.
No one speaks. We lie in our own trees for a long time, waiting for the sun.
48
BEA
“We took three trams to get here. Your dad was worried we’d be followed,” Mom says, brushing my face with her hand. Her hair is white. I don’t remember it turning this color.
I am sitting between her and Dad on the couch and Old Watson is in his bedroom listening to music, the volume politely blaring so he won’t overhear any of our conversation.
“Why didn’t you tell us before, love?” Dad asks.
“I planned to. I just didn’t want to worry you as soon as I got back. You’d been through enough. Quinn and I were sure we’d figure something out,” I say.
“Well, border stewards can always be bribed,” he says, as though this is something he’s accustomed to doing.
“You have no money.” I smile so he knows I’m not accusing him.
“People need transplants and I only need one kidney. And one eye. Where there’s a will, there’s a way, Bea. I won’t have my only child hunted,” he says. Mom starts to fidget with the seam on her skirt. She knows it’s no plan at all. It’s true that people do sell their organs, but the process takes months, and only people under thirty-five are allowed to be donors.
“I really believed that you and Quinn were in love. But all you were doing every evening was homework and training. I thought—” She can’t go on. This was her dream for me, that I would marry a Premium.
“He does love me. We did more than train.” I blush, embarrassed. Mom smiles and so does Dad, but I don’t know why since my marrying Quinn and living safely in the pod is out of the question. I’m about to remind them of this when Mom throws her arms around me.
“That fool. It only took him forever to notice you.”
“I’ll never be a Premium,” I say.
“No, you won’t,” she says, and reaches over me to touch my father’s face.
We hear something shattering in the next room and within a couple of seconds Old Watson hobbles in and begins rummaging though a stack of remote controls.
“Turn on the screen. Turn on the screen. The screen!” he demands. When he finds the remote, he presses a large red button and the screen comes to life.
I watch and wait, wondering what can be so important, when the Justice Minister appears. “This is a Ministry announcement: Tomorrow morning we will be hosting a special live interview with Quinn Caffrey, who recently found himself kidnapped, tortured, and blackmailed by a dangerous terrorist cell.” The screen displays a photograph of a much younger-looking Quinn; he must have been about twelve when the photograph was taken.
“What’s going on?” Mom stares at me as though I’ve organized this myself.
“Shh,” I say, turning up the volume.
“The special event will be held at the Justice Building and spectators are welcome. Extra tram services are scheduled. We hope to see many of you there to support this victim and the Ministry’s fight against terrorism. An antiterrorist march will follow the press conference. Good night,” the Justice Minister says. The screen goes black before brightening again with an advertisement for a new brand of aerosol soap.
“Why would Quinn agree to do that? Well?” Mom is almost shouting, and Old Watson has to remind her to keep her voice down.
“He knows exactly what he’s doing,” Dad says calmly.
“And what exactly is that?” Mom wants to know.
“A message was sent to my pad from Lennon Caffrey’s code just before you showed up,” Dad says, looking at Old Watson.
“And?” I ask. I hold my breath.
“I didn’t understand it at all when I read it. I thought it’d been sent by mistake. But the message wasn’t from Lennon at all. It was obviously Quinn who sent it. He wrote Please come down to hear me speak tomorrow. Or something like that.”
Mom stands up and puts her hands on her hips. “So what?” she says. Dad looks at me, giving me a moment to work it out.
“So he’s telling us to gather a crowd for tomorrow,” I say as a thread of Quinn’s plan starts to sink in.
“Exactly,” Dad says. “Whatever he plans on saying, he’s asking for some kind of backup, and what better than loads of auxiliaries?”
Old Watson steps forward and leans on my Mom for support. “I’ll get out tonight and spread the word to as many people as I can. Door to door.”
Mom nods. “We will, too.”
“Help plan the crowd, but don’t go down there tomorrow,” I beg.
Dad stands up. “No more being pushed around, Bea. Now’s the time. We have to do this. For you.”
He’s right. It might be our only chance. Quinn has practically asked my parents to get involved. And even if they didn’t, the Ministry would soon get bored searching for me and target my parents.
“We should go now,” Mom says. She thanks Old Watson and moves to the hallway, my father behind her.
“Be safe,” I say, as Mom opens the door.
“We will,” they say together.
“And we’ll be back tomorrow after the interview,” Dad tells me, and pats my arm. I kiss him lightly on the cheek and then my mom.
“Sleep well,” Mom says, and turns away, her eyes tearing up. They step through the door and it closes with a beep.
Old Watson rummages in a cupboard and pulls out a walking stick.
“They never wanted to fight before,” I say.
“They never had anything worth fighting for,” Old Watson says. “Until now.” And with that, he opens the door again, leaving me alone with nothing to do but imagine the fight.
49
ALINA
We are dozing when a piercing whistle slices the air. I sit up, throw my legs over the branch, and look down. “What’s that?” I call out. I’m still half asleep, but Dorian and Jazz are already scampering down the trees.
“It’s the zips,” Dorian shouts. “They’re back! Why didn’t anyone close the blinds?”
And so it’s started. If I’m really prepared to fight, today’s the day to prove it. I take a deep breath and climb down the tree.
r /> It’s useless hiding in the bunkers. They’ve found us, and we’ll be buried alive if we go underground. It’s time to fight. There are people running in every direction, some of them already holding guns, others so taken by surprise they’re still pulling on their boots.
I vomit. Without even waiting for me to wipe my mouth clean, Jazz pulls on my arm and starts to tug me toward a staircase. “I never trained!” she squeals. “I never trained! Oh, help me, Alina.”
“It’s too late, Jazz,” Dorian says. He glances left and right, then looks back at me and we stand staring at each other, neither of us certain what happens now.
At that moment Silas comes running from the lookout post, his eyes hell-stricken. He is pulling on a bulletproof vest and when he sees Jazz he grabs her. “Find Petra! We need everything and everyone. Rouse the sleepers, Jazz. And if you see Levi or Roxanne, tell them it’s time to ignite that stolen tank. Go!” Jazz nods and dashes away, her small running figure a blur against the dawn. Silas turns to me and Dorian. “Get every remaining weapon we have in the shooting range. I’ll gather everyone. This is it.” Dorian runs away as Silas moves off in the opposite direction. I follow Silas.
“We’re going to be okay, aren’t we?” I ask.
Silas takes me by the shoulders. “Fight with gusto!” he says, and bounds off along the corridor, leaving me alone.
Dorian returns with a load of guns, drops them at my feet, and I begin distributing them as he goes to get more weapons. When Silas returns, he directs people into position.
At last Petra appears. She is carrying an Uzi and holding a megaphone. “No mercy!” she hollers.
So we take our positions and wait.
50
BEA
I can’t eat breakfast, and even the hot drink Old Watson brews for me goes cold in the cup. I spend the morning pacing the apartment and switching channels on the screen, looking for coverage of the interview. Not that I need to; when the time comes, it’s on every channel. “I should come down there with you,” I say as Old Watson is patting his pockets and getting ready to leave.
“You should be rational,” he replies, meaning I’m being emotional. But what he doesn’t know is that I’ve never been very rational when it comes to Quinn. “If you disappear from the apartment, I won’t know where you are and I’ll have to form a search party to find you. So stay here,” he says. I nod. Old Watson looks like he might be about to hug me, but thinking better of it, he nods brusquely and rushes away.
I turn to the screen as the voice-over comments on the impressive turnout and the exclusive interview about to come. I pick up the cold cup and finally take a few sips from it.
As the camera pans over a row of people sitting behind a desk on an elevated stage, Quinn appears. I put down the cup again and pull a chair close to the screen. He is dressed in a shirt and tie and sitting next to the Justice Minister—a round, red-faced old man who looks like he is about to fall asleep at any moment, despite the hoopla going on around him. Quinn is sitting quite still, his face looks gray, and his glare is fixed on some distant object beyond the crowd. He unfastens the top button of his shirt. Instinctively I unzip my cardigan a couple of inches.
“To those of you just joining us, welcome to Pod TV Channel 4,” says the announcer. “The atmosphere here is electric and in a few minutes we should be hearing from the Pod Minister and Quinn Caffrey. After that, stay tuned for footage of the march.”
Several pockets of spectators are holding anti-RATS placards aloft and cheering every time anyone on stage moves. I try to locate either my parents or Old Watson, but it’s impossible; there must be a couple of thousand people down at the Justice Building, Premiums and auxiliaries all mixed in together. It isn’t often this happens, and for a moment, I find myself smiling, until I’m startled back into the moment by a blast of high-tempo music.
I hold my breath as the Pod Minister parades onto the stage like he’s a rock star, grinning and bowing as the cheers swell. He takes a purple handkerchief from his breast pocket and waves it in the air. “The Pod Minister is known for his candid interviews, but it’s a rarity to see him appear at a public event like this. And the crowd is loving it,” the announcer observes. As the music fades, the Pod Minister takes his place beside Quinn, ruffling Quinn’s hair playfully as he sits down. He raises his hands and the crowd hushes. “Looks like it’s about to begin,” the announcer says, in case we’re all such idiots we can’t interpret anything that’s happening for ourselves. Although maybe it’s so we don’t interpret anything for ourselves.
The Pod Minister taps a microphone hidden somewhere in his lapel and a noise like a drumbeat echoes over the airwaves. It makes me jump. The Pod Minister smiles. “These are trying times, my friends, trying times indeed,” he proclaims. “Every day, our way of life, our very existence, comes under attack from the mindless barbarism of terrorists who seek to instill fear into our hearts. These people are fanatics whose beliefs we do not share and whose values are corrupt. They seek to destroy the pod and compromise our safety, hoping only to expose us once again to the horrors of life as it was during The Switch. And then there are those among us”—he gestures to the captivated crowd, the camera, and everyone at home, and the people sitting with him at the desk—“who wish to save this place and protect the life within it. Will we be tyrannized by the few? I know I won’t. And I know you won’t either. No. Together we will stand against our enemies and beat them down. Despite our differences, we will rise as one and proclaim our right to life. Our right, as humans, to breathe.”
As he finishes his speech, he runs his hand through his hair and looks down at Quinn coldly, almost challengingly. I remember this look and I do not like it. Quinn lays his hands flat on the desk in front of him and stares at them. A few people in the crowd have thrown up their arms in celebration and are chanting the Pod Minister’s name over and over. “Knavery! Knavery! Knavery!” He nods, and in that small gesture is the confidence of his supremacy.
“I gather you here today, my friends, to listen to a story of evil. This young man, a personal friend of mine, was stolen from us and tortured. He will tell us what he knows, and through his story you will see the face of our enemy.” The Pod Minister sits down and turns to Quinn. “Would you please start by telling us a bit about yourself?” he says, pulling a small silver flask from his jacket and taking a drink.
My stomach lurches. Quinn looks so much smaller than I remember—the Justice Minister sitting on his one side, the Pod Minister on the other. He is trapped between them. What can he possibly do now? What can he say?
Quinn clears his throat and his microphone crackles to life. “My name is Quinn Caffrey, and first of all I want to thank you for coming here today. Thank you for listening to me. I promise to tell the truth. I am a Premium, but I hope you will see that I represent you all.” He puts a thumb to his mouth and chews on the nail momentarily. He has none of the Pod Minister’s showmanship, but his tone is so sincere and humble there is an audible murmur of sympathy from the crowd. I feel so proud of him, and afraid for him, that I have an urge to jump up and race to the Justice Building despite Old Watson’s warning. I want to be with him. I wrap my arms around my body and lean forward in the chair.
“We have no doubt you’ll be truthful,” the Pod Minister says, slapping Quinn on the back. “And what you want to tell us is that you were kidnapped by the RATS, is that right?”
“I was with them for several days and I saw how fervently they believe in their cause. It’s actually scary how passionate they are.”
“Yes! Ha!” the Pod Minister hoots.
Without being prompted, Quinn gets to his feet and straightens his tie. Behind him, a row of stewards are standing with their arms behind their backs, visors covering their eyes. They don’t look real. But they look ready.
“During my time on the outside, I learned so much more about the war on terrorism than I ever could have learned here inside the pod. I was living in blissful ignorance while others
were dying on my behalf. And what I have to say may be terrifying to many of you.” His voice has found some volume and clarity. He is more the Quinn I know.
The Pod Minister squints as Quinn edges his way out from behind the desk and moves closer to the crowd. “I tell you all now, in sincerest truth, that you cannot trust Breathe or the Ministry.” I cover my face with my hands and peer through the spaces between my fingers. The stewards do not move.
Cain Knavery takes another swig from his silver bottle and says, “Son—”
“We are prisoners here!” Quinn shouts. All of a sudden he sounds breathless. “They are overfeeding us oxygen. Outside many of us could breathe, if we knew how. I’ve seen it. The RATS want to save us.”
“You see what they’ve done to him?” The Pod Minister stands up, pushes his way past the other officials, and moves to the center of the stage. When he gets to Quinn, he throws an arm around his shoulder. Quinn flinches. And so do I. “He’s been delirious since we found him. I had hoped he would be able to address you, but … A terrible shame.” The Justice Minister, his eyelids heavy, nods in agreement.
For a moment, no one moves, and then a voice from the crowd calls out. “So you aren’t overfeeding us oxygen?” Then another calls, “Yeah, what did he mean by that? We’re paying for extra oxygen we don’t even need?”
“Overfeeding you oxygen? What do you think? Ha!” the Pod Minister asks. The crowd murmurs as Quinn manages to squirm his way out of the Pod Minister’s hold and rushes to the very front of the stage.
The Pod Minister takes one step forward and stops. “Turn off his microphone,” he yells to no one in particular.
“I have no reason to lie. And they are killing the trees. We’ll never escape.”
“They kill trees? What’s he talking about?”
“We are trapped here. Forever!” Quinn continues.