Embody

  Marc introduced them. “This is Ashten; he’s like a father to me.” Marc looked in my direction. “And this is Jason, the best doctor in the universe.” He smiled weakly at me, and I could feel remorse coming from all of them; the one who carried the burden the most was Jason. “This is Stella, the one for me, and this...this is Evelyn, her older sister,” Marc said warily.

  “Was everyone OK at home?” Stella asked, reading the concern on their faces.

  “No...there was an accident, and two people that I love very much are...suffering,” Marc said, staring at me.

  Stella was immediately confused. I moved my eyes to Jason, and he walked cautiously to my side, staring inside of me. I could feel his relief and fear all at once. “Do you mind if I look more closely at you?” Jason asked.

  I stood and watched his eyes move over my body, stopping at my stomach; suddenly, his fear intensified, and he walked closer. Raising his hand, he moved my hair to see the wound that I’d gotten in the storm. Ashten glanced at the painting, and relief filled him, then he began to pace as Jason looked over me.

  “Do you think I’m right?” Marc asked

  “I know that you are,” Jason said.

  I felt a deep remorse coming from Ashten; I couldn’t help noticing how his features comforted me. As I let myself down easily in the chair I was standing in front of, Jason pulled up a chair in front of me. For a moment, I wondered if they’d lost Willow; maybe I was the last person she’d helped, maybe she’d left me with her memories...my head began to spin as I argued with myself.

  “Why are you sitting? Grab her - we have to leave,” Marc said in a harsh whisper.

  “This body won’t survive the string; her soul is the only reason Evelyn’s heart still beats,” Jason said.

  “What’s a string?” Stella asked, panicked.

  I wanted to know the answer to that one as well; that was the second time I’d heard that word today.

  “You haven’t told her?” Ashten scolded Marc.

  “I was going to, then I saw Will...all this happened,” Marc said defensively.

  He almost said ‘Willow’...my heart started to race...They think I’m her...are they insane? Don’t they see that what’s before their eyes is a frail, sick, dying woman?

  Jason put his hand on mine. “Calm down; everything is fine. This body is too weak for you to have those emotions.”

  I took a deep breath and leaned back. Maybe I could make this work for Stella’s sake; if Willow was trying to help me, maybe they’d have mercy on the one that I’d leave behind and take Stella away from this gray hell. Ashten nodded in Marc’s direction, who then grabbed Stella’s hand and led her into the room with our bed, closing the door behind them. I focused on her; if they scared her, I was prepared to yell for Beth – even though I knew that Marc loved her too deeply to bring her any harm.

  Ashten took a seat near me and Jason. I leaned in toward Ashten and looked at his blue eyes. I was sure they weren’t the same as the ones I’d had a vision of, yet...I felt like I was getting closer to them by looking into his.

  “I’ve seen eyes more blue than yours in my memory,” I said to Ashten.

  He looked at Jason; they were both relieved that I’d said those words. “What else do you remember?” Ashten asked

  “I can’t even tell you what face those eyes belong to; everything is lost now.” My words cracked as tears came to my eyes.

  Jason looked sternly at Ashten; he didn’t want him to push me.

  “Do you think I have only four days as well?” I asked Jason.

  They were both surprised by my words.

  “Is that what they told you - that you had four days?” asked Ashten.

  “They thought I was asleep. I heard Drake tell Alamos to make sure I survived four more days,” I answered.

  They looked at each other, and I could feel their anger and remorse all at once.

  “Do I have four days?” I asked again.

  Jason looked me over once more. “Your soul has a strength like no other...no one else would have been able to sustain the way you have...but I’d say that you have exactly fifteen hours and twelve minutes before this body will rest.”

  His precise prediction was horrifying. I leaned forward and looked at the both of them.

  “The only reason I’m still holding on is because of Stella; she has no one else. I can feel that Marc loves her. Help him take her to wherever your home is so I may die in peace,” I pleaded.

  They looked at each other, then back at me.“We’re going to take you both home - one way or another,” Ashten said firmly.

  “I don’t know who I am. Protecting Stella is the last task I must do.”

  “You are -” Ashten started to say.

  Jason raised his hand to stop him. “She won’t be able to handle it.”

  “How are we going to do this? He can’t come here in physical form; they’ll both die,” Ashten said so quietly that I barley heard him.

  Too weak to ask what he meant, my eyes questioned his words. The room started to spin, and a sick feeling came over me. I stood, thinking I needed to go to the bathroom - then the pain cut me in half. As the sweat came to my forehead, I screamed without warning, trying to breathe. I felt Beth coming, and Ashten and Jason were at my side immediately. I looked up at Jason, trying to warn him - but I couldn’t speak through the screams.

  The door opened, and Beth stood there. Not hesitating, she closed the door behind her and ran to my side. Marc and Stella came from the back room. The only ones afraid were me and Stella; the others seemed somewhat relieved to see each other.

  “Jason, these are supposed to take the pain away,” Beth said.

  Jason looked at the pills and nodded, then Beth handed them to me. I swallowed them all at once, just wanting relief. Jason pulled me into his lap, rocking me back in forth. I looked up at Beth, wondering how she knew them. Ashten had tears in his eyes and walked to Beth, hugging her tightly. Marc stood frozen, squeezing Stella as tight as he could. Beth then let go of Ashten and walked over to Marc. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and I could feel his disbelief and love for her.

  “I knew I felt you in her heart,” she said to Marc.

  “Beth, you should come home with us. Drake is a man now. Preston needs his mother,” Ashten pleaded with her.

  Beth looked down, and I felt her remorse. “Would it not serve the greater good for you to have allies in this world?”

  “Mom,” Marc said.

  I looked at Marc, and so did Stella; we were so confused.

  Beth looked at Marc. “He has your blood, and you have to know that inside of him there is a pure heart. I’m going to stay with him until he finds the one that was made for him...I’m quite sure that I’ll be able to see it in her,” Beth said in a tender tone while searching Marc’s face for understanding. She then walked over to Jason and handed him the last two pills that I was supposed to take.

  “These are hers as well,” Beth said.

  Jason studied them. “No wonder he couldn’t find her,” he said, looking at me.

  As the pain subsided, I closed my eyes and listened to the voices in the room, trying not to fall asleep.

  “Are you sure he can’t come?” Marc asked.

  “Believe us, he’s tried over and over again; he can stand the pain, but it hurts her body,” Jason said.

  There was a pause.

  “What about Brady?” Marc asked. “What if he used Brady? They’re almost identical. I guarantee you if he got near her, she’d remember.”

  “If it worked, she’d be able to leave on her own – in an instant,” Ashten said.

  “Where’s Brady?” Marc asked

  “Traveling, looking for her...everyone is,” Ashten said.

  “We could split up - find him,” Marc said.

  I opened my eyes and sat up. I had no idea what they were talking about, but I knew they intended to leave immediately.

  “Take Stella,” I said, looking at Marc. “I’
m weak; I can’t keep protecting her. Take her somewhere safe,” I said, looking at all of them.

  Stella walked over and knelt down at my side, tears spilling down her face. “This is bigger than me and you...I have to stay to make sure you’re safe. I know Marc will always find his way back to me,” she said, looking at me through new eyes.

  I shook my head, trying to shake her resolve. They didn’t see that her safety was all that mattered.

  Beth stepped forward. “It’s not my place to advise you, but I imagine if you took Stella, Drake would know something was going on - and you’d have an army waiting on you when you retuned,” Beth said. She believed what she said, and the others were on her side.

  “Why do you care what happens to me? I told you Stella’s the one that needs to be safe. I’m not her...I’m not Willow...I’m not that important,” I argued with all of them.

  Jason looked down at me, past the surface. “You are more important than you could ever imagine...it’s not fair for you to have to choose without knowing who you are.”

  “Choose what?” I asked, terrified. I remembered being told to choose before by a beautiful older woman with mesmerizing green eyes; flashes rushed through my memory, and my head began to spin.

  “It’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it,” Jason said quietly.

  I knew I could trust him; I felt love coming from him.

  Jason looked at Beth. “Can you keep her from taking those two pills?” he asked her.

  “I can throughout the night. Tomorrow, if Drake is near her, he’ll make sure she takes them,” Beth said.

  “They’re very heavy in her system, and any break in the cycle would help us; she’ll have to be able to enter a dream state to leave,” Jason warned. Beth nodded.

  Jason looked down at me. “You can see that I mean you know harm and that I’m speaking the truth,” he said.

  “I can feel that you love me,” I said, trying to smile under heavy eyelids.

  “Tomorrow, if they give you those two pills - try not to take them,” he said to me.

  “Will the voice come back?” I asked.

  “It will soon,” Jason said.

  “Do you know that voice?” I asked. Jason nodded. “Will you tell him I’m sorry? I think I hurt him...I didn’t mean to.”

  I felt sorrow coming from all of them.

  “He knows that - and the love you feel from that voice will overpower the love you feel coming from all of us combined,” Jason said.

  I nodded, knowing he meant what he said, then closed my eyes. I was carried into the other room and laid on the bed. I fell asleep, feeling everyone leave except Stella; my heart tore. Why did they leave her? I tossed and turned in my bed. I could see flashes of people and places coming to me, and it was terrifying because they weren’t all from the time or place where I now lived. I saw myself with Drake, happy. I saw myself with another man, blue eyes...I knew I loved him. I rolled myself awake.

  Stella was sleeping soundly beside me; I could still fill the love for Marc coming from her. I tried to process who those people were, how they fit in to who I was. I tried to replay their images one by one, and the one that stood out in my mind was the one of the older woman who had told me I had to choose. I was almost certain I’d seen her recently. I replayed every room I’d been in, finally remembering the painting in the front entry hall; it was the one that I’d focused on to stay balanced.

  I couldn’t lie there anymore; I was going to find that painting...I was tired of being confused. I walked out of my room and down the hall. I guessed and went to the right, and it looked as if it opened up. There were other paintings lining the walls, and I studied them, looking to see if I could see her in any of them. The hallway opened up to a large oval-shaped room with windows circling the back of the wall. A circler couch centered the room. Realizing I was getting weak, I walked over to the couch and sat down, catching my breath. I looked across the room and saw a painting as large as a small wall. It was of the woman, only she was slightly younger. Her green eyes stared back at me, and sitting next to her was a little girl with dark skin and green eyes as well. I stared at them for countless moments. I knew that I knew them, and it made me so mad not to remember. I pulled my knees to my chest and rocked myself back and forth.

  All at once, I felt an overwhelming fear rushing in my direction and heard several people running, opening and closing doors. I raised my head and look toward the doorway. Drake, Beth, and Stella, along with others in hoods, rushed into the room. I felt Stella’s and Beth’s relief come. Drake sighed deeply, then waved the others away, walking to my side. I looked to the windows to see the black of night behind them. Drake sat down and slid close to me, and his mesmerizing touch was immediate. He wrapped his arm around me. “I think you nearly gave my mother a stroke,” he said, looking attentively at me.

  “I’m sorry,” I muttered, looking down.

  He kissed my forehead and pulled me protectively to him.

  “I thought you’d be gone until the dawn,” I said, almost grateful he was early.

  “I...um...had a small concern...I still need to go home,” he answered.

  “Concern...?”

  “I just thought I saw someone I knew and went to find them,” he said.

  “Do you not know everyone?” I mocked.

  He chuckled under his breath. “I suppose I do.”

  Beth walked in with a glass of water and my pills. She was screaming at me with every emotion she had; I’d caused her to fail. Now Drake would make sure I took the pills that Jason had asked me not to take. Looking up at Drake, I turned his head so he’d look at me. “I promise I won’t go to sleep...I don’t need the pain medicine if you’re here. You are staying here, aren’t you?” I pleaded.

  “You need this medicine,” he whispered.

  “I’ll take them. It’s just...when I do take them, I fall asleep - and then...you leave,” I said, looking down, embarrassed by my plea – not knowing if he was the illusion or if the blue eyes were.

  Drake sighed and reached for the pills that his mother was holding, then put them in his pocket. I felt Beth’s relief; she nodded at me, then left the room. I settled next to him, feeling proud of myself.

  “Why are you here?” he asked, looking around the room.

  “I was looking for her,” I answered, looking in the direction of the large painting.

  Drake’s eyebrows creased. I couldn’t feel him, but I was almost sure he was angry.

  “And why is that?” he asked firmly.

  “I saw her downstairs...I think she’s beautiful. I love her eyes.”

  Drake relaxed a little. “Her eyes are amazing,” he said, staring at the painting.

  “Who is she?” I asked.

  “Perodine”

  “Have I met her?” I asked timidly.

  Drake reached his arm around me, pulling me to his lap. He leaned in and kissed me, and his force seemed magnetic; it made me light-headed. He parted slowly. “Let those sleeping dogs lie,” he whispered, his lips barely apart from mine.

  Thinking of Stella, I knew it was more important now than ever to play my role. I smiled at him, staring intently into his dark eyes. I knew that it didn’t matter if I knew who I was or not - I was playing a dangerous game.

  “Come; let’s find some food,” he said, lifting me.

  “It’s the dead of night,” I argued.

  “You’ve been keeping strange hours; you can sleep while I’m gone tomorrow.”

  I walked beside him. I knew if Jason was right, I’d sleep for eternity tomorrow. I assumed I had less than ten hours left. Knowing who I was before I left would be amazing, but knowing that Stella was safe was my only real desire.

  Drake led me down the hall to a small doorway that led down a stairwell, then carried me as it circled. He stopped two floors down and sat me down at the threshold of an enormous kitchen. A long, wide table centered the room, and I walked to one of the chairs that circled it. He found a glass and filled it with water,
then sat it and my pills in front of me. Knowing I’d have to be clever here, I reached for the two pills I wasn’t supposed to take, then put them in my mouth one by one and gripped them with my back teeth. I then reached for the water. Drake scooted the other three closer to me. As I put one in my mouth, he turned and walked toward the cabinets. While he had his back to me, I took the pills out of my mouth and hid them in my blouse, then swallowed the last two pain pills. Drake opened the cabinets and pulled two small plates out, then cut a piece of pie for each of us.

  As he sat the plates in front of me, the pie smelled so good. I took a small bite, tasting sweet cherries. Drake seemed to be lost in thought as he ate. Something about knowing the hour of your death gives one courage; the fear I had of him yesterday was gone, and a newfound curiosity plagued me.

  “How do you plan to take my pain away?” I asked.

  He hesitated for a moment, then said, “That’s nothing for you to worry about,” avoiding my eyes.

  “My time here is over...I’m sure of it.”

  “I need you to stay strong for me...you can make it through a few more days,” he said, reaching for my hands and capturing my stare with eyes as intense as midnight. I sighed and looked down, and he pulled my hands to his face and bowed his head. “I love you – and I can’t live without you...don’t leave me here.”

  I felt my heart breaking; he deserved for me to love him just as intensely as he loved me. I leaned forward, my eyes searching his perfect face. When he looked up at me, the pain in his eyes made my soul cry. He slowly leaned forward, and as his lips touched mine – I felt life course through me. Tears slowly seeped from my eyes. I reached for his face and traced his flawless features, feeling his tears fall, too.

  As I wiped them away, our lips parted. “If this is real – then nothing will part us,” I whispered.

  He traced his fingers across my cheek, drying my tears. “Promise,” he whispered, smiling slightly. I looked down and nodded slightly.

  He slowly moved around the table, then gracefully picked me up and carried me up the stairs. In my room, Stella was sleeping silently. He stopped in the front room and sat with me in his arms in the chair that faced the painting. I stared at my work, imagining I was watching a beautiful sunset.