Sweet St. Louis

  Sharron disliked the sister even more. How dare she try and keep some kind of connection to Anthony, and do it right there in her face? It made it seem as if she knew Anthony a whole lot more than Sharron did. This woman was somehow closer to him, and could jump back into his life whenever she wanted to. No woman liked a competitor having past influence over her man! The conversation was far from over. Anthony would have to explain things from day one with this woman. And as soon as the movie ended, too! To make things worse, guess what show Dana and her man were there to see? Sharron wanted to change her mind about the film, the time, the theater, or something. She just could not set her mind to rest in the presence of the woman until she had enough answers.

  She let out a long sigh and forced Anthony to read her concern.

  He said, “It’s not like that with us anymore.”

  Sharron took in his comment and asked, “When was the last time you were with her?”

  “February fourteenth,” he told her.

  The truth hurts, but that was what Anthony had decided to give her, complicating everything. Good lies, on the other hand, were much easier to settle obvious disputes. However, Anthony was fed up with the lies. And if he could not tell Sharron the truth, he figured there was no sense in trying to open so much of his soul to her.

  Sharron looked into his face and said, “That’s Valentine’s Day.”

  “And it was a long time ago, too,” he countered.

  Sharron waited a minute to see if she could force herself to move on and failed. Terribly!

  “And you haven’t seen her since then?” she asked, feeling more insecure by the minute.

  Why the hell am I doing this? she asked herself, as her blood seemed to boil. She wasn’t even the jealous and insecure type.

  “I can see what kind of night this is gonna be,” Anthony commented to her.

  Sharron nodded, agreeing with him. She was still attempting to calm her nerves. But how could she do it while in the same theater with the woman? She just couldn’t!

  She said, “Would you be upset with me if I wanted to see this movie at another time? I mean, it’ll be out for a while, right?”

  Anthony smiled at her. “Is she bothering you that much?” he asked. It wasn’t as if he didn’t feel uncomfortable himself; but what the hell, they weren’t even sitting anywhere near Dana and her man. He wouldn’t leave an entire theater for her, especially when he was satisfied with who he was with. Nevertheless, Sharron didn’t find herself satisfied with being around some mystery woman until she knew the whole story. And until she knew, she felt a strange distance between herself and her man.

  “I really just don’t feel comfortable,” she answered him. She was ready to stand up and leave immediately.

  Anthony could not believe Dana was able to bother Sharron that much. So he obliged, and stood up to leave, planning to get his money back for their wasted tickets.

  “I don’t believe you did all of this, just because we were in the same movie with them. They’re not thinking about us,” he complained as soon as they left the theater. Sharron made him feel like a loser. Anthony had always considered himself a winner. Most definitely!

  Sharron felt guilty about it and was speechless. But once they made it to the car, she was all mouth and ears.

  “So tell me about her. What’s her name, anyway?”

  “What does it matter?” Anthony asked, starting up the ignition. Sharron was beginning to get under his skin, especially since there was nothing going on with him and Dana.

  “She made it sound like you’re still seeing her. ‘I’ll see you around,’” Sharron mocked, staring at him with plenty of attitude.

  “Well, I’m not. And you shouldn’t let her get to you like that. This is stupid.”

  The R & B singer R. Kelly wrote a song called “When a Woman’s Fed Up,” and he was right, because Sharron seemed to be coming from left field concerning Anthony’s past. His past did not seem to have been a problem with her before.

  “Just tell me her name then,” she requested.

  “Her name is Dana,” Anthony spat.

  Sharron said, “I tell you everything about guys that I’ve dated before. So why are you having such a problem with this?”

  “I never asked you about your guys.”

  “Yes you have.”

  “Well, I didn’t act like you when I did.”

  “Because you had no reason to.”

  “Are you saying that you had a reason to act all crazy, like I’m lying to you about it?”

  “Are you?” she asked him.

  Anthony hit the roof in the middle of a two-lane street and swerved the car.

  “You know what, you have no fucking idea how much shit I went through for you! And now you gon’ sit up in here and talk this shit over some girl I haven’t even dealt with since February! It’s August now, Sharron! I didn’t even know you back in February!”

  “I know you better keep your eyes on the road before you kill us. And don’t yell at me like that either!” Sharron warned him.

  Anthony was so incensed that he pulled his car into a shopping center parking lot up the road. He looked Sharron in her eyes and asked, “Now, what do you want to say to me?”

  Sharron went blank for a second. It was their first major confrontation.

  “I just want you to tell me about your relationship with her, that’s all.”

  “Okay, so what do you want to know about it? Let’s spit it all out right here, right now,” he snapped.

  She said, “Well, how long have you known her?”

  “For about two years.”

  “And how long have you been … off and on with her?”

  “All the way up until February. I guess that’s when she met her new man.”

  “So she broke it off?” Sharron questioned.

  Anthony thought about it. “We were never like a real couple to begin with.”

  “You were just intimate with her?”

  He nodded. “Yeah. We were fuckin’. Is that what you want to hear?”

  “I want to hear the truth.”

  “Well, that’s the truth. Now what else do you want to know, so you can just leave me alone about it?”

  Sharron paused and did not want to ask him, but since she thought about it, and they were getting it all out in the open, she decided to ask him anyway.

  “Do you still have feelings for her?”

  Anthony paused himself. How exactly did he need to put it?

  “Not like I have for you,” he said.

  Wrong answer. The truth hurts.

  “Explain that,” she told him.

  It would have been a hell of a lot easier if he had just said no. Instead, he tried to explain.

  “Sometimes you have people in your life who will always be a part of you, but that doesn’t mean you don’t move on. I’m sure it’s the same way with you and some of the guys in your life. But I’m into you now, and that’s all that should matter.”

  Was he gaming her, and lying to cover it up? Did he still have a secret relationship going on with the woman? Or was he telling the truth? Sharron was still filled with doubt.

  “So how am I supposed to feel about that?”

  “About what? That she’s a part of my past?”

  Sharron asked, “What if she calls you up and says that she misses you, and she wants to get back with you? What would you do then?”

  “I’d tell her that she can’t have it like that,” he answered. And he would have.

  “Would you fuck her?” Sharron asked him.

  That was another question entirely. Why did she have to ask him that?

  “No,” Anthony answered. The truth was that he wouldn’t know until it actually happened.

  “You wouldn’t?” she asked again, still doubting him.

  Anthony looked away, uncertain about it himself. Could I turn it down? he thought. This shit is impossible! I may as well just be a player for life. Dude in the barbershop was right!


  Sharron nodded her head, pissed the hell off that they had come so far and seemingly had gotten nowhere. Because if push came to shove, Anthony would still choose to be intimate with another woman.

  “See, this is just what I’m talking about,” she said. “That’s exactly why I didn’t feel comfortable in there. You would still fuck her.”

  “I told you that I wouldn’t,” Anthony responded weakly.

  “Yeah, whatever.” Sharron was tempted to make him drive her back home. She wanted to get away from him for a while. Not that she still didn’t want to be with him. Not that she still didn’t care about him. She just felt hopeless. As they say, like a penny with a hole in it. Because no matter what she did, she just couldn’t put her faith in a man. He would only ruin it.

  Anthony broke their silence and said, “You shouldn’t even ask me something like that. I don’t ask you no shit like that.”

  “Because guys think it’s a given that the woman won’t cheat on them.”

  “No they don’t. I know plenty of guys who don’t trust their women,” he countered.

  “I wouldn’t either with guys like you around,” Sharron spat. And that was low. Too low!

  “What are you trying to say?” Anthony asked her. “Is that how you feel about me now, like I’m that slimy, to fuck my friend’s girl?”

  Sharron looked away and didn’t answer.

  Anthony got low himself and said, “Why are you fucking me then? That makes you slimy for even dealing with me, if that’s the case.”

  “I don’t know what I was expecting from you anyway,” she grumbled to herself. That’s just how pissed off she was.

  Anthony looked at her and was ready to throw her ass out of his car! He was really hurt by it. He had gone through all kinds of struggles and sacrifices for her, and she didn’t seem to appreciate it. She wanted a perfect damn world; one that he couldn’t give her in a thousand years!

  “Aw’ight then,” he said, restarting his ignition. “Let me just drive you the fuck back home! And then you can do whatever you wanna do, and think whatever the hell you wanna think.”

  Anthony continued to talk out loud to himself while he drove:

  “Change my life around for this shit. For what? Now I see why I never did this shit before. It don’t fuckin’ work!”

  “It would work if guys just stopped being such dogs,” Sharron responded to him.

  “Well, stop chasin’ dogs then!” Anthony snapped. “You knew what kind of guy I was when you first met me! So if you want a virgin, then you go out and find one! But you didn’t want no damn virgin!”

  “I know you better stop cursing and raising your voice at me!” Sharron shot back.

  “Or what?” he dared her.

  “Or I’ll make you crash this damn car of yours,” she threatened.

  “Yeah, okay. Do it then,” he challenged her, releasing the wheel for her to grab.

  “I don’t want to,” she told him.

  “Well, don’t talk that shit then!”

  “I just want you to stop hollering at me,” she responded calmly.

  And he did. He calmed down and composed himself. But he couldn’t wait to get her out of his car. He still had some old phone numbers of women who were still strung out on him. He planned on using those numbers. Immediately!

  “Is that how you act when you get upset?” Sharron asked him, concerned. She began to think about a future with him again. Because if he could get that upset about it, then maybe he was telling the truth about his feelings. She even wanted to apologize to him. But not while he was still piping hot. She decided to wait right up until they reached her apartment building to tell him that she still cared about him. She still wanted to be with him, and that she wanted to apologize for jumping to conclusions. She was willing to stick it out with him if he was still willing to stick it out with her. So when Anthony cruised up to the parking lot outside of her apartment, Sharron did not budge from his car.

  “Aw’ight, here you go,” he told her, waiting for her to leave. He was dead serious about using those old phone numbers, too. However, that wouldn’t change anything. He would still feel useless shortly afterward. Useless and alone, like he felt with so many other women.

  Sharron placed her hand on his right arm at the wheel and said, “I didn’t mean what I said. I don’t know what came over me. I guess I just don’t want to think about you with any other woman. So I’m sorry that I said all of that.”

  Anthony remained silent.

  “You don’t have anything to say?” she asked him.

  “Like what?” He was still pouting.

  She said, “So, you changed your life around for me? That’s what you said earlier.” She was flattered by it.

  “I was just bullshittin’ when I said that,” Anthony told her, straight-faced.

  Sharron’s smile disappeared. “So you didn’t mean it?”

  He thought about how much he enjoyed her company and said, “Yeah, I meant it. But so what? It’s time for you to leave now,” he persisted.

  If she wants me back, then she’s gonna have to act like it, he told himself.

  “You don’t want to come in?” she asked, rubbing his arm with her hand. He still had not bothered to pull away from her.

  “Come in for what?”

  “To spend the night with me. And we can make our own music,” she hinted.

  “I’m not a musician. I’m a mechanic,” he told her, finally cracking a slight smile.

  “Well, I’ll let you fix me then. And tighten me up,” she said with a grin.

  Anthony laughed out loud at that one.

  “Tighten you up, hunh?” he repeated.

  “Yeah. You got your tools with you?” she teased, referring to prophylactics.

  He smiled, catching on, and said, “Maybe, maybe not.” He was still playing hard to get with her. If she wants me back, then she’s gonna have to act like it.

  “Well, do we need to go and get some?” she asked.

  “For what?” He looked around and spotted Celena’s black Maxima. “Your roommate’s home anyway.”

  “So? I have my own room, with a door, and a lock on it.”

  “You would just lock the door on your roommate and go on about your business?” The idea sounded intriguing to him.

  “She did it many times to me,” Sharron answered. “Not that I cared about her business, but still.”

  “And you want to do it back to her now?”

  “No, I wanna do it to you,” she responded with a chuckle.

  Anthony forgot about how pissed he was and was all for it. He threw his Chevy into park, turned off the ignition, and said, “Come on then.”

  Sharron said, “Wait a minute. We still have to get you some tools.”

  “No we don’t. I got tools,” he told her, cheesing.

  “So, why did you say that you didn’t?”

  “Because I was still mad at you.”

  “And now you’re not?”

  He said, “I probably wouldn’t have been mad at you later on, either. As long as you apologized to me.”

  She smiled, realizing that guys had feelings too. Then she asked, “What if I didn’t apologize?” just to see what his response would be.

  “You would have had to eventually.”

  “Why?”

  “Because if you didn’t, that shit you said would have always been on my mind. And it would have gotten in the way of anything else we tried to do.”

  She nodded her head and understood his concern. “I’m sorry,” she told him again, looking into his eyes. “I really didn’t mean that.”

  Anthony broke up the mushy stuff and said, “Aw’ight, well, let’s go and make it up then.”

  Sharron burst out laughing. “Is that what you call it, ‘making it up’?”

  “It was your idea,” he told her. “What do you call it?”

  “I call it having my man over to spend the night.”

  “Right after an argument? Well, what if we didn’t
argue?” he asked her.

  “If we didn’t meet your old friend at the movies,” she emphasized, “I would have had you over after that. I mean, it is Saturday night, and we both have off from work tomorrow.”

  Anthony smiled and nodded his head. “Aw’ight then. So let’s go,” he pressed her.

  “Oh, now you’re all ready to go inside with me because we’re going to do the make-up sex thing. But before, you were all pissed off at me and ready to kick me out of the car,” Sharron commented.

  “If you piss me off like that again, you’ll get the same result,” Anthony warned her. “And you’ll have to apologize to me again to get me to change my mind. And don’t go overboard with that shit either,” he told her. “Because I’m not giving you ten strikes.”

  “What about when you piss me off? How many strikes should I give you?” she asked him curiously.

  He grinned and said, “As many as you can handle, I guess. Then I’ll have to apologize to you.”

  “But what if it’s beyond apologies?” she questioned.

  Anthony thought about that and said, “Nothin’ is beyond apologies. I mean, if Jesus Christ can come down here and die on the cross for our sins, then how can we not forgive each other?”

  Sharron looked into her man’s face and smiled with pride.

  “I didn’t know that you read scripture,” she said.

  He looked at her and said, “Scripture? I don’t read it like that, but I do know that nobody in this world is perfect.”

  With that, Sharron felt more relaxed and confident about Anthony than she ever had. She looked into his face and said, “Come on then. Let’s go up to my room.”

  They walked into her apartment with Anthony hot on Sharron’s heels, and said, “Hi, Celena.”

  Celena was painting her nails with undone hair, and looked a complete mess on the living-room sofa. “Damn, girl! You could at least give somebody a warning around here!” she screamed, embarrassed.

  Anthony smiled and rubbed it in. “Hey, Celena. You look real good tonight.”