Dubious Legacy

  Henry had looked at Matthew; indeed, they had all looked at Matthew. It occurred to Antonia all these years later that perhaps Matthew had been drinking; too late to find out now. While they looked the door opened, Antonia remembered, and Margaret came in. Was it the dogs who alerted them, or a draught? Margaret had gone straight to the dresser and picked up the parcel of scent. She undid the parcel, prized the stopper from the bottle and doused the dogs with it.

  TWENTY-TWO

  ‘THERE IS SOMEONE AT the door,’ said Calypso.

  ‘At this hour?’ Hector pulled his spectacles down his nose. ‘I was about to stop reading and cuddle up to you, prior to sleeping or whatever. It’s very late.’

  ‘There goes the bell and knock, knock, knock,’ said Calypso.

  Hector said, ‘I wish I was deaf.’ The knocking persisted. ‘We should let the dogs sleep in the house.’ He groaned. The bell renewed its appeal.

  ‘It is you who insist they sleep in the stables.’ Calypso closed her book, marking her place with a finger. ‘It must be an escaped lunatic. Are you going or are you not?’

  Hector grumbled, ‘I was warm and comfortable and loving, but I suppose there may have been an accident.’ He got out of bed and felt for his slippers. ‘Or perhaps the house is on fire and some kind person has noticed.’ He wrapped himself in his dressing-gown. ‘I should have thought we were too far from the road.’

  Calypso said, ‘Don’t catch cold,’ opening her book.

  ‘It’s bloody midsummer.’ Hector departed, muttering, ‘I’m coming, I am coming.’ His slippered feet slopped downstairs and across the hall and the front door opened. Calypso listened. There was a murmur of voices, the sound of shuffling, the door closing, then silence. She thought: It’s burglars. Hector’s been hit over the head. ‘I’m coming, darling, I’m coming,’ she shouted. ‘Oh darling, do take care,’ and not pausing to put on dressing-gown or slippers she leapt from bed and catapulted downstairs. ‘If you’ve touched a hair of his head I will kill you,’ she shouted.

  In the hall Hector stood looking at Antonia, crouched in a foetal position on the sofa with Susie clutched in her arms. Susie stared up at Hector, her mouth agape.

  Calypso said, ‘I thought you’d been mugged. Are you all right?’

  Hector said, ‘Not mugged. She doesn’t seem able to talk; she’s incoherent.’ Aware of their scrutiny, Antonia huddled lower on the sofa, her hair shrouding her face.

  ‘Spent all her energy getting here,’ Calypso suggested. The girl looked a mess, she thought; she held out her hand. ‘Come along,’ she said, ‘plenty of beds made up.’ She took Antonia’s hand. ‘Bring your baby to bed.’

  ‘A drink?’ Hector suggested. ‘Brandy? Whisky?’

  Calypso, shaking her head, mouthed, ‘Hot bottle.’

  Antonia wailed, “Bilge. Couldn’t stand any more bilge?’

  Calypso said, ‘Try tottering up the stairs,’ and gave Antonia’s hand a tug. Antonia lurched to her feet, holding the baby.

  Looking out of the door, Hector said, ‘She’s left the lights of her car on, the engine running and, dammit, it’s on the lawn!’

  Reaching the stairs, Antonia clutched the banisters. ‘I must apo—I must apolo—I must not impose—I must—’

  Calypso said, ‘Tomorrow,’ and gave a guiding push. ‘Keep it till tomorrow.’

  Hector went out to Antonia’s car. Returning presently, he saw his wife emerge from one of the spare rooms and shut its door. She leaned over the banisters. ‘Coming up?’ she asked. ‘Reminds me of old times.’

  Hector ignored this. ‘Bloody girl,’ he said. ‘She left it with no brakes on, all the lights on and plum in the herbaceous border. What d’you suppose it’s all in aid of? We hardly know the girl.’

  ‘She’ll tell us tomorrow,’ said Calypso, getting into bed. ‘At least she didn’t hit a tree. Or she may not tell.’

  ‘Lucky she wasn’t stopped by the police,’ said Hector. ‘That baby might have been killed.’ Calypso held the covers back as he climbed in beside her. ‘This is where we’d got to when that infernal racket started.’ He took Calypso in his arms.

  She said, ‘I thought you’d been mugged. Your feet are cold. Come close.’

  Holding her, Hector said, ‘It’s a very quiet baby.’

  Calypso said, ‘It’s a very drunk baby.’

  ‘Drunk?’

  ‘On mother’s breath,’ Calypso said.

  Hector said, ‘Oh, darling, I wish you wouldn’t make me laugh just when I was getting an erection.’

  In the spare room Antonia kept the light on and prayed for the room to stop spinning. What was she to say to the Grants in the morning? How to explain her intrusive arrival?

  ‘It will be the last straw,’ she said to her baby, ‘if you pee in this wonderful bed.’ I must not sleep, she told herself. I won’t undress; I’ll get up presently and creep away, write a long letter of grovelling and profuse apology. None of this would have happened if Barbara had been there; we’ve always shared everything, sharing makes things bearable. In her arms Susie snorted in her sleep. Her ears thrummed as though she was coming round from an anaesthetic and the room continued spinning.

  ‘What would you like for breakfast?’ Calypso enquired when Antonia came into the kitchen. ‘Coffee? Orange juice? Toast and marmalade? We are tucking into bacon and eggs.’

  She looked disgustingly well and young for her age, Antonia thought. She’s almost my mother’s age, must be. ‘Oh—I—er—’ she said.

  Hector folded his newspaper and rose to pull out a chair for her. ‘Why don’t you put the child on the floor?’ he suggested. ‘Hamish used to be happy on the floor at that age. Does she like dogs? It is a girl, isn’t it?’ He peered closely at Susie.

  Antonia said, ‘Yes,’ and sat. ‘Yes.’

  ‘Then put her down.’ Hector indicated a pair of Labradors lolling by the Aga. ‘There’s a mug of milk to keep her quiet, and Calypso found some rusks.’

  ‘They may be a bit stale,’ said Calypso.

  Antonia said, ‘I—’

  ‘First of all, coffee for you,’ said Calypso. ‘Strong. Here you are. Then I’ll coddle the baby an egg, that’s what they like.’

  Dubiously Antonia lowered Susie among the dogs, then accepted the coffee. Useless to tell Calypso that Susie hated eggs and would spit them out. But the coffee was delicious. She gulped it greedily and watched Calypso put a mug of milk in Susie’s hands. ‘Keep it steady,’ she said. ‘Now for that egg,’ and turned towards the stove.

  Grasping the mug with both hands Susie drank, goggling over the rim at Calypso’s back. When she had downed the milk Hector took the mug from her and handed her a rusk, which she thrust first in her mouth and then at a Labrador, who took it with a furtive glance at its master.

  Hector refilled Antonia’s cup.

  Antonia searched her mind for a mode of speech which would explain and attempt to excuse arriving drunk on the Grants’ doorstep in the midnight hours, when she hardly knew them. At least I was not sick, she thought, and Susie didn’t pee in the bed.

  Calypso broke a lightly-boiled egg into a cup, added salt, stirred, and handed it to Susie. ‘Eat that.’ Susie ate. Antonia whispered, ‘She hates eggs,’ amazed.

  Calypso said, ‘Children are like that. Now, toast and marmalade? Make Antonia some toast, darling.’ Hector reached across the table and put bread in the toaster. ‘It only pops up for Hector,’ she said. ‘Have you noticed how mechanical objects hate women?’

  Antonia said, ‘I—er—’

  ‘I hope you don’t mind,’ said Hector, ‘but I moved your car. It’s in the yard.’

  Antonia said, ‘Oh, God. I must explain—I—Oh, I am so sorry, I—’

  Calypso said, ‘She gets on with dogs, doesn’t she?’ as she watched the child hold the eggy cup for the second Labrador to lick. ‘I expect she is friends with Henry’s Humble and Cringe. Eat your toast while it’s hot,’ she said. ‘Nothing worse than soggy toast.’

&nbs
p; Hector put the toast by Antonia’s plate. ‘Henry is a tactful fellow,’ he said.

  Antonia gripped a piece of toast. ‘I should—I must, I really should—I can’t think what I—’

  ‘We know their real names are Hector and Lysander. It’s excessive sensitivity on Henry’s part, don’t you think?’ Hector bent down to retrieve the cup from the Labrador.

  Gripping the toast so hard it broke in her fingers, Antonia said, ‘I must explain, I must apologize.’

  ‘I promise you it isn’t necessary,’ Calypso said. ‘Honestly not. Would you like to stay for a bit?’

  Antonia flushed, ‘Oh, no. No. I must get back—he—I mean, they don’t know where I am, but I want to apologize.’

  ‘Have a bath before you go,’ said Calypso, stemming the apology.

  ‘I slept in my clothes.’ Antonia began to weep. ‘Oh, God.’

  Calypso said, ‘More coffee. I will lend you some clothes.’

  Antonia sobbed. ‘Perhaps when I have it straight in my mind I can come and explain?’

  But she never did.

  Watching Antonia drive away, Calypso said, ‘At least she wasn’t sick.’

  ‘For someone who dislikes babies,’ said Hector, laughing, ‘you behaved admirably.’

  Calypso said, ‘Tolerance comes with age. I thought you were splendid,’ and she took Hector’s hand. Hector held her hand then tucked it warmly into his pocket and held it there. ‘She did say one illuminating thing,’ Calypso said. ‘While we were upstairs choosing clothes, she said she could not endure the spectacle of Henry being kind to Margaret.’

  Hector said, ‘Now that is interesting.’

  ‘Here comes the runaway,’ said the younger Jonathan, looking out of the window as they sat eating a late breakfast. ‘Shall you spring to the telephone and allay Matthew’s fears?’

  ‘Let’s give her a minute,’ said his lover. ‘I don’t mind Matthew worrying.’ He went out to help Antonia out of her car. ‘Let me hold Susie,’ he said. Taking the child from her and bending to kiss her cheek, he asked, ‘Have you breakfasted? We are in middle of ours; come and join us.’

  ‘I have, but I couldn’t eat. I drank some coffee. Susie ate all right, she ate an egg.’

  ‘An egg? She hates—What a little puss. Come along in.’ He led her towards the cottage. ‘Never mind the geese,’ he shouted as a gaggle of geese came heavy-footed and honking round the house, ‘such good watch-dogs. Don’t be afraid of them. Piss off,’ he hissed. ‘You look uncommon smart this morning,’ he said, standing aside so that Antonia could go into the house. ‘Isn’t she elegant?’ he said to his lover. ‘Super outfit, darling.’

  ‘It’s Calypso’s,’ said Antonia, ‘borrowed.’

  ‘So that’s where you’ve been! We heard you’d eloped; the troops are out looking for you, you know. Well, not the troops, your husband, to be precise. It would never occur to him to look for you there. We promised him we would telephone if we got wind of you.’

  ‘No,’ said Antonia, ‘please.’

  ‘Not yet,’ said the younger man, kissing her also. ‘Come in, sweet girl, and share our meagre fare, and tell all.’ He laughed and his moustache blew out like the feelers of a friendly crustacean. ‘Matthew was looking pretty po-faced,’ he chuckled. ‘Concerned for his car. You, too, of course, and Susie. Now, what would you like to eat? There’s muesli and fruit. We are risking coronaries with bacon and eggs.’

  Antonia sat at their table. ‘Fruit, please, or muesli. Oh, why didn’t I come to you?’

  ‘Matthew was here at six a.m., that’s why we are breakfasting late; we overslept.’

  Antonia cried, ‘I made a complete ass of myself at the Grants. I drove into their flower-beds. I was inebriated.’ She drew out the word. ‘Dear boys, it’s good to be here.’ She smiled at the Jonathans, who beamed back, and Susie in the older man’s arms chuckled. ‘Was Matthew sober?’

  ‘You couldn’t call it sober,’ they said.

  ‘If Barbara had been there, nothing would have happened,’ Antonia said. ‘I say, can I change my mind and have bacon and eggs? I’m starving.’

  ‘Of course you can, but didn’t the Grants offer?’

  ‘They did, they were incredibly kind, but I was choking with embarrassment, dying to escape. They were hideously tactful.’

  ‘You can loosen your stays here,’ said the older man. ‘Bacon and eggs it is. Try and tell us as you eat. Begin at the beginning, do.’

  ‘The Grants didn’t ask any questions, they behaved as though it was all the most natural thing in the world,’ said Antonia.

  ‘That’s Calypso all over. She disassociates herself from other people’s lapses.’

  ‘She was kind. A bit brisk.’

  ‘We are kind but not brisk, we are devoured by curiosity. Come on, darling, tell us what happened. We promise to pass it on so garbled no one will ever think it was you.’

  Laughing, Antonia said, ‘All right. It began yesterday afternoon. I missed Barbara. Matthew and I had been swimming; it was such a lovely day. Henry was in London so we were on our own. It’s not the same without Barbara, much less fun. Anyway, I rang her up to ask her to join us. I knew James was sailing but I couldn’t see why she couldn’t come without him; she could have caught a train or something. She sounded odd, queer, said she had a frightful migraine. I couldn’t persuade her. She said she was waiting for James and that she had to write a letter or something. God knows who to. Of course I guessed at once, she’s pregnant.’

  ‘Pregnant!’ said the lovers. ‘Well, well! Population explosion.’

  With her mouth full, Antonia asked, ‘May I have some mustard?’

  Passing the mustard they said, ‘Go on. That can’t have—Did you have cross words with Matthew?’

  ‘Not exactly.’

  ‘Not exactly,’ said the older man. ‘What then?’

  ‘Well, I didn’t tell Matthew what I thought. I went up to visit Margaret. I don’t mind visiting Margaret when Barbara is with me, but on my own I am falsely jolly and I mind her jibes. This time she suggested we make use of Henry and don’t pay our way, that sort of thing. I, retaliating, suggested she has agoraphobia-I’d read an article about it in a magazine.’

  ‘Bit risky.’ The older man sucked in his breath.

  ‘That led to other things,’ said Antonia. ‘Oh dear, d’you mind if I skip that bit? It was true, you see.’ Antonia’s eyes filled with tears.

  ‘No, no, don’t tell us,’ cried the younger man. ‘Not that we aren’t dying to know, but not if it hurts.’

  ‘Of course it hurts,’ said his lover. ‘Margaret’s talent is finding the weak spot and inserting the stiletto. But do go on, love.’

  Antonia said, ‘Thanks,’ and sniffed. ‘Henry came back from London while I was cooking supper,’ she said. ‘You know how different the London Henry is from the country Henry? I teased him a bit; he always brings Margaret a present, I teased him about it. God knows why he takes the trouble.’

  ‘It’s to stop himself hitting her, that’s our theory.’

  ‘Really? How daft of him.’ Antonia stared at the two men. ‘You are percipient.’

  ‘What did he bring this time?’

  ‘Gorgeous scent, Guerlain.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘So we had supper. Matthew, who’d gone out to avoid visiting Margaret, was back by this time. Actually he had been back quite a while, because he’d fetched wine from the cellar, and that made me twitchy because it’s Henry’s cellar and it was Henry’s wine and Henry wasn’t back when he did it. It’s not that Henry minds, but Matthew does sometimes take things for granted.’ Antonia, having finished her eggs and bacon, put her knife and fork down. ‘That was delicious.’

  ‘What else?’ asked the younger man.

  ‘Well, I take things for granted, too, I know that!’ said Antonia. ‘Pilar doing practically everything for Susie, all the things I dislike or am bored by, it was just that at supper, Matthew—oh dear, I can’t tell you that either.’


  ‘Not to worry,’ they said. ‘None of our business.’

  Antonia said, ‘So we ate our supper, we discussed the beauty of Henry’s London suit, we drank quite a lot. Oh, dear boys, it’s so easy to get carried away by you two sympathetic dears and get bitchy and disloyal.’

  ‘We love it,’ said the moustached lover. ‘Please get carried away.’

  ‘Honestly,’ said Antonia, laughing, ‘I can’t. Anyway, in the middle of all this in came Margaret.’

  ‘Oho!’

  ‘And?’

  ‘She went straight to the dresser where Henry had put the scent. She tore the parcel open, she ripped off the stopper—’

  ‘And poured it over Henry?’

  ‘No! The dogs.’

  ‘Whew!’

  ‘It was whew,’ said Antonia. ‘The dogs went mad. They rushed whimpering round the kitchen, then disappeared into the yard and Margaret sneered, “He expects me to anoint his feet and dry them with my hair”.’

  ‘And then?’

  ‘Henry laughed and offered her a glass of wine. I told you we’d been boozing a bit more than usual. All Henry said was, “Oh, Margaret, the poor creatures, they will now find some really terrible stink and roll in it.” Somehow his being so nice to her made me want to throw up,’ said Antonia. ‘I used to believe he was heartless and a lot of other things she told us, but there he was wheedling her to sit down with us and telling her she looked beautiful.’

  ‘And was she looking beautiful?’

  ‘Of course,’ cried Antonia. ‘Then Matthew began sucking up to her. He put his arm round her and said, “What’s upset you, woman?” (So awful, that use of woman.) And guess what? She kissed him and he kissed her back. What possessed Henry to marry that bitch?’ cried Antonia.

  ‘There was some suggestion of persuasion, we believe. It was a long time ago.’ The lovers avoided each other’s eyes.

  Antonia said, ‘Huh!’

  ‘And? Then?’

  ‘I—er—I went and telephoned Barbara again. Things seemed to be getting out of hand. If she had been there, it would have been different, felt different. She might have found it comical, it was comical, but on my own I couldn’t take it.’