Hard to Forget

  “So what you’re saying is that we’re dealing with a bunch of punks who think they’re powerful?” Jax mutters.

  “No, sir,” Johnson pipes up. “We’re dealing with boys raised in that life, but that have absolutely nothing to do with the goings-on of the cartel. It could be that they’re too young, too immature, or simply that they just weren’t blooded into the life. For what reason we can’t be sure, but whatever the case, the main ringleader of this gang wasn’t accepted and therefore has decided to try and start his own cartel. We can’t give too much away as to how we secured this information, but it would seem the head member of the cartel has said they are not with him and he holds no responsibility over what they do, or what happens to them. The choices they’re making do not involve him nor do they come from his instruction.”

  “So once again, a bunch of punks using their family ties to cause shit?” Jax growls.

  “More to the point, a group of men being led by a brother who was raised in a cartel, but was essentially kicked out and is trying to create his own deadly group, which we are calling a gang, as the two are very different things. There are at least ten of them in this little gang, and the leader has on more than one occasion been a suspect in a murder investigation. They’re not just playing with small things. They’re going for the big guns, trying to prove themselves. My guess, they’re trying to create the world they’re being rejected from, and in doing that, going to the extremes.”

  “So what’s this big breakthrough?” Jax asks.

  “We seem to have zoned in on their possible locations. We have the evidence to arrest them, but trying to track them down has been hard. They know how to hide and they do it well.”

  “There’s a chance that you’ll make an arrest then?” Duke asks.

  “Yes, and hopefully soon. If we arrest these men, they’ll go away for life.”

  “But won’t the cartel keep bringing pain down on Jax, for having them arrested?” I ask, confused.

  “No, ma’am. As I said earlier, they want nothing to do with this rogue group that has been created from their roots.”

  “And you know this how?” Jax asks.

  “As I said, I’m unable to disclose such information, but I don’t think you’ll find it’s an issue when the men are locked away.”

  “And you can be assured of that?” Devon asks.

  Blayke shakes his head. “Of course we can never give you a one-hundred-percent guarantee, but the information we’ve got is from a good source and as far as we can tell, this group Jaxson is dealing with is a bunch of thugs trying to create a name, and nothing more.”

  We all nod.

  “We do advise that you be careful, especially now,” Johnson says. “They’re getting desperate, and this is when they’ll make a mistake, but you don’t want to be in the way of that mistake.”

  We all nod, and the officers stand, shaking Jax’s hand.

  “We have hope that something will come of this situation. In the meantime, just sit tight. We’re doing everything we possibly can.”

  Jax nods and we all watch as the officers leave.

  Well, maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

  Just maybe.

  * * *

  The next ten days pass event free, and Kyle joins the team again. Jax and I have become pros at our passionate rendezvous and things are heating up even more between us if that’s possible. Every time he’s inside me, it feels like something in my body is attaching to him even more. I think about him all day. When I’m not thinking about him, I’m with him.

  The police have started closing in on the thugs making Jax’s life a living hell, and they said they’re starting to make good tracks. Kyle is back, but not doing full security, so he just relieves shifts when we’re tired or need a day off. I’ve had three days off in the last ten, and those days I have crammed my time with Aunt Bett, Uncle George and Jed. Mitch is away, so I’ve been unable to catch up with him.

  Of course I have to be in safe places when meeting with them, in case the thugs decide to make good on their threats and come after me. Still it was nice seeing my family. I feel like right now I’ve barely had the chance to even talk with them on the phone. Nak said as little contact as possible is best until this case is put to bed, just for their safety. That makes sense, so I’ve been sure to do just that.

  Today it’s just Jax and me. It hasn’t been just Jax and me since before Kyle’s beating. We’re in his office, and he’s mostly busy with phone conferences, but every now and then, between calls, he looks up at me and smiles. A real, gorgeous, genuine smile. It melts my heart, traveling right to my core and sinking in, refusing to leave.

  “Yeah,” Jax says, phone pressed to his ear. “I’m hearing you. Schedule it for two weeks from now. I’ll take a trip down and sort it out.”

  He stares at my lips and his tongue snakes out, licking his. Oh God. Yum. He wheels his chair back and pats his lap. Like a child who’s desperate for affection, I rush over and settle onto him. He wraps an arm around my belly and presses his face into my neck, breathing in my hair. I close my eyes, loving how he makes me feel. Loving the vibrations of his voice as he speaks.

  “Yeah, sort that out for me, will you?”

  He pulls the phone from his ear and puts it down. Then he starts kissing my neck.

  “Jax,” I breathe.

  “How long have we got?”

  “Kyle will take over in about an hour.”

  “I can work with an hour.”

  He lifts me into his arms and carries me into the next room, to the bed. He drops me down onto it and brings his big body over mine. He kisses my neck, my throat, my jaw and then my lips. Our kiss is passionate and long, so deep my body breaks out in shivers. Jax moves his hand down, cupping my ass and bringing my body up to ride against his erection.

  “Jax,” I gasp.

  “I’d love to fuck you, fucking love to, but I don’t have the time. But rest assured, kitten. I’ll make you scream.”

  He starts rocking my heated body against his cock, causing it to touch the most sensitive part of me. I groan and close my eyes, loving the sensations washing through my body.

  “Jax,” I cry out, as his rigid length rubs over my clit.

  “What. The. Fuck.”

  The sound of Kyle’s voice has Jax jerking backwards and my head whipping to the side. Oh. Shit. Panic rises into my chest and my skin tingles with fear as I see Kyle standing at the entrance, his eyes on Jax and me. There’s absolutely no way of getting out of this, we can’t explain away what we’re doing.

  Jax jackknifes off the bed and I sit up quickly, adjusting my shirt.

  “What the fucking hell is happening here?” Kyle barks. “You two are fucking?”

  “No,” Jax says, his voice cold. “It was a moment of weakness.”

  “Bullshit!” Kyle roars. “Bull fucking shit.”

  “Kyle,” I say, stepping forward.

  “You will come with me, right now, Delaney,” he demands. “You’re in deep fucking shit. You just broke every fucking rule there is.”

  “Stop swearing at me and calm down,” I try to say but he throws his hands up.

  “I won’t fucking calm down, you’re fucking the client.”

  “I’m…”

  “What we’re doing is none of your concern and we’ll discuss it only with the relevant people,” Jax growls.

  “I am a relevant person!”

  Jax strides forward. “Listen to me, you little weasel. You do not know the story. You know only what you saw, therefore you will not be creating stories without my being present to give the truth.”

  Jax is protecting me.

  “Stop speaking to me like I’m stupid!” Kyle roars, getting in his face.

  “Then stop fucking acting like you are.”

  “Delaney,” Kyle demands. “We’re going to sort this out right now. You’ll accompany me to Nak’s office.”

  “Kyle,” I try, but he shoots daggers in my direct
ion.

  “You are breaking the rules, and nothing you or Jaxson can say will change my mind about the way I’m going to deal with this. Now move!”

  I look to Jax, who is glaring at Kyle.

  “I should go,” I say, stepping past Jax.

  Kyle lashes out and grabs my arm, and Jax moves like fire, grabbing Kyle by the shirt and slamming him against the wall. “You do whatever the fuck you have to do, but you do not ever fucking put your hands on her again. Do you understand me?”

  “You have no right—”

  “Do you understand me?” Jax roars so loudly even I flinch.

  “I get you,” Kyle spits.

  Jax releases him with a harsh shove and turns to me. “I’ll come with you to explain to Nak.”

  “No,” I say, my voice shaky. “I’ll sort this out.”

  He studies my face and he can see it’s something I need to do alone, so he nods. “I’ll be on call.”

  “I’m sending Devon in,” Kyle grunts. “He’s outside. He came with me. He’ll watch Jax while we go to Nak.”

  I say nothing, I just brush past him and walk outside. Kyle follows, barks at Devon to protect Jax and then he storms after me as I charge into the elevator. As it’s going down, he turns to me. “You know, I thought you were smarter than this. I thought this job was everything to you.”

  “Don’t pretend to understand this,” I snap, glaring at my hands.

  “Oh, I understand. You think he’s hot and wanted a piece. Like every other woman in this damned place.”

  I spin on him. “Don’t you ever say something like that to me again. Believe it or not, I’m not just doing it to get a piece. But what would you know, Kyle? You’ve never cared about a fucking thing in your life.”

  “Bullshit,” he bellows, slamming his fist into the side of the elevator. “I fucking care about you.”

  I flinch.

  What did he just say?

  “You have the nerve to throw something like that out, at a time like this? You do nothing but treat me like shit, Kyle. So don’t you dare try and make up an excuse like that.”

  “I treat you like that because if I don’t, I won’t be able to do my job because I’ll be forever wondering what it’ll feel like to do exactly what that fucking asshole was doing to you in there.”

  I shake my head, staring at him. He means it, I can see it in his eyes. I have no idea how I feel about that, because I’ve never seen Kyle in that manner. He’s always been so arrogant and difficult, never making anything easy for me.

  “Your treatment of me made me despise you, Kyle. Now you’re trying to tell me you care. You’re warped.”

  “I’m doing my job. I’m putting my career first, which is more than you can say for yourself. Jesus, Delaney, where did your brain go?”

  “I care about him!” I scream. “And when I care about someone, I do everything I can to share that with them.”

  “He’s a fucking manwhore,” he bellows, slamming his fist against the wall again. “He doesn’t want anything but a piece of your ass, but me…”

  “You?” I laugh bitterly. “You treat me like I don’t fucking matter, yet you think that’s better?”

  “If you gave me a chance, I could show you what I can give you.”

  I shake my head, stepping back as he steps forward. “You know nothing about me, Kyle. If you knew that, you wouldn’t be here doing this right now.”

  “I won’t tell Nak,” he says suddenly and I blink.

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “I won’t tell him, if you promise to stop seeing him and let me take you on a date.”

  “Have you lost your mind?” I shout.

  “You haven’t seen any other side to me but this right here.” He jabs his chest. “Let me give you a chance to do something with someone who hasn’t screwed half of Denver.”

  “Jesus, Kyle, are you listening to yourself?”

  “The choice is yours, Delaney,” he says coolly. “You decide which is more important, him or your career.”

  His words are like a slap to my face. I want to scream and throw him right out of this elevator, but he’s put me in a difficult position. He knows what my career means to me, and I can imagine he’s guessed Jax means a lot, too. He’s giving me a choice. Jax or my career.

  But what he doesn’t know is that I fell in love with Jax the moment he stood up for me, and my career will never give me what he can give me. I won’t be blackmailed by Kyle, and I won’t be forced to date him and spend all my time with him, out of fear he’ll tell Nak. No, I have to tell Nak the truth and risk whatever comes out of it.

  I turn to Kyle with a fierce expression. “I’ll pick him, Kyle. I’ll always pick him.”

  Then I step out of the elevator as it dings open.

  It’s time to face the music.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Nak is in his office when we arrive, and from the look on his face, he already knows what’s coming. His expression is hard, and his eyes dart straight to me. Jax must have called him, because I know Kyle didn’t. My heart starts pounding and fear places a choke hold on my heart. I don’t want to lose my job, but dammit, I don’t want to lose Jax either.

  “Kyle, Delaney, sit.”

  We both sit and I stare at my hands, unable to face the disappointment in my boss’ eyes.

  “Kyle, tell me what happened.”

  “I walked in on them kissing on the bed, but it wasn’t just a normal kiss, they were…”

  I swing my head to him, glaring.

  “They were grinding.”

  Jesus.

  Nak’s eyes dart to me. “That true, Delaney?”

  I meet his eyes and say in a monotone, “Yes.”

  “They’re having sex! It’s unacceptable!”

  “Did you see them having intercourse?” Nak directs at Kyle.

  “No, but…”

  “Then how are you certain they’re having relations?”

  Kyle bristles. “Nobody grinds like that on a first kiss.”

  “Kyle, you need to step back. It’s up to me to deal with this. You’ve said your part, reported what you’ve seen, and now I’m going to ask Delaney.”

  He turns expectant eyes to me.

  I look down at my hands, fighting back the tears. “I … I care about him, Nak.”

  “That’s not what I want the answer to, and you know it.”

  His voice isn’t hard, but it’s also not soft.

  “I’ve been having relations with him, because … because I care about him. It wasn’t just a bit of fun.”

  “This is outrageous!” Kyle bellows.

  Nak throws a hand up. “You shut your mouth, Kyle, before I shut it for you. This is my issue to deal with.”

  I look down, waiting for Nak to yell and scream, but he simply says, “That’s what Jax said, too.”

  “You’ve spoken to Jax?” I ask.

  Nak nods.

  “She should be fired,” Kyle mutters. “This is against the rules, and it’s not the first time she’s done something wrong.”

  I’ve had enough. I spin on Kyle and yell, “And you’re the perfect citizen, Kyle. You just blackmailed me on the elevator, and told me you wouldn’t tell Nak if I dated you and only you, so how about you shut the fuck up.”

  “Say what?” Nak growls.

  Kyle’s face turns red and he looks to Nak. “It didn’t go exactly…”

  “Did you or did you not say it, Kyle?”

  Kyle nods sharply.

  “What the fuck is happening here?” Nak growls. “You two are bodyguards, not children. Delaney.” He turns to me. “You know what you did was against the rules, and Kyle.” He looks at Kyle. “Blackmail? Really?”

  We both look down.

  “I think both of you have just lost your way, because I know that both of you are amazing bodyguards deep down. There’s only one option for me here.”

  You’re fired.

  You’re fired.

  I prepare myself for
it.

  “You’re both suspended for a month.”

  I look up sharply. Did he just say suspended? That’s it? Not fired?

  “What!” Kyle yells, standing up.

  “Sit down!” Nak barks at him. “And be grateful I didn’t fire you, which I have grounds to do.”

  “She”—Kyle jerks a finger at me—“was the one screwing around with the client.”

  “And she’s sitting down, taking her punishment for that, while you’re acting like a spoiled fucking child. I won’t ask again, sit the fuck down.”

  Kyle sits down, muttering a curse.

  “Now, you two are going to think long and fucking hard about what’s important to you while you’re suspended. You know the rules, and if you do anything like this again, there’ll be no second chance. You’re suspended, effective immediately.”

  Then he turns to Kyle. “I need to talk to Delaney. You’re free to leave.”

  Kyle grunts and storms out. When the door slams behind him, Nak turns to me. “I can’t stop you seeing Jaxson, Delaney, but I can’t allow you to go back onto his case, even if it’s still happening by the time your suspension is over. I’m sure you understand.”

  I nod. “I never meant to upset you, Nak. I fell for him and…”

  “I know, and I can understand that matters of the heart can’t be controlled, but the choices you made after that are on you. You know the rules, Delaney, and you chose to break them.”

  I nod. “Yes, I did.”

  “You’re a smart girl, and I’m giving you a second chance. For God’s sake, don’t waste it.”

  Then he stands and leaves.

  I drop my head, my heart aching.

  I feel like I’ve let him down, but mostly, myself.

  * * *

  Jax tries to call me when I arrive at my apartment, but I don’t answer. I feel strange being back here, lost and unsure what I’m going to do. We’ve been suspended without pay, but luckily I’ve already saved enough from the job with Jax to cover me. Nak has put security on my apartment building and Kyle’s, but he doesn’t think there’ll be any threat, considering they’re watching Jax and not us.

  I don’t care.

  I get home and crawl straight into my bed, exhaustion, hurt, shame and disappointment in myself are clawing at my heart, trying to bust it open. I can’t let them, because if I do, I’ll start crying and I’ll never stop. I’m not ashamed of what Jax and I did, and if I had a second chance, I’d probably do it again because he means something to me. The phone in my hand buzzes again and I glance down at it. Jax once more.