Yearning Devotion
The couple walked down the streets of New York for a few minutes before returning to the venue. The brief reprieve had been exactly what Gwen needed to regain her focus, her calm. McKayla was swept off to get ready for the show as soon as they returned. Gwen popped in her earbuds and turned on music. She looked around the room filled with half naked beautiful women. Some were getting their hair done, some their makeup, some were getting into their first outfit already.
This was her dream, and she was loving it. She moved about making sure each dress was fitting and looking exactly the way she desired. Before she knew it, the first model was heading down the runway. The models were flying out and coming back. She needed to get dressed for her appearance on the runway so she made sure the last few models were good to go before quickly stripping out her clothes and putting on one of her own gowns. It was a single shoulder black gown that had a silk slip that stopped high on her thighs with a see through black lace overlay that fell all the way to the floor with a high slit on one side nearly to the hip. The makeup artist gave her a quick smoky eye with heavy mascara, dark blush and a deep red lipstick while the hair stylist swept her hair into a messy up do with a few strands left around her face.
She waited until the last model went out before she got into her spot behind the curtains. At her queue, she stepped out onto the runway. McKayla was at her side as the lead model for the show. The crowd went wild, cheering and clapping for her. She walked halfway down the runway giving a small bow. She looked around at the crowd in amazement taking in the praise they were giving. Turning to head back down the runway, her eyes landed on those green eyes. She tripped but McKayla steadied her. Gwen recovered and quickly headed back behind the curtains. As disturbed as she was at seeing him twice in two days, she didn’t have time to dwell on him. There were cameras in her face and questions being thrown at her from the media. She was questioned and directed from one interview to another for nearly three hours after the show. She sat gracefully and answered all the questions. She wasn’t used the being the one in the spot light, but she knew it was something that came with being a designer.
Once she was finally done, she was sitting back stage in a chair with her feet up, her earbuds in. Almost everyone had already gone home for the night. She was enjoying looking at the room where her clothes were hung and the row of mirrors where the girls had been prepped. ‘Don’t You Worry Child’ was being piped through her earphones and it made her smile. All her hard work and determination had paid off. The show had gone off without a hitch. All the interviews had been positive, spouting praise about her designs. She’d never been more pleased.
McKayla came through door and walked to her with a smile. “You ready to go?”
“I suppose so.” Gwen slipped her earbuds into her handbag along with her phone. She had taken a moment after the interviews to slip her leggings back on and a tight tank since she was hot from running around. She stood and slipped her feet into the 4 inch plain black peep toe heels. She grabbed her sweater dress from earlier and slipped it on to keep warm. She laced her fingers with McKayla’s as they made their way out of the building chatting about how the show and interviews had gone.
“You know, we should go out clubbing tonight.” McKayla said as they entered the lobby of their apartment building.
“I don’t really feel up to it. I’m tired.” Gwen yawned unintentionally but it made her point. “You go ahead.”
“You sure you don’t want to go? Celebrate your success!” McKayla spun in a circle with her arms out. Gwen smiled at her. She was always up to party. Gwen, however, was looking forward to curling up in a nice soft bed and being alone after all the people she’d been around today.
“I’m beat, really. Have fun.” Gwen said as they stepped into the elevator. McKayla stepped behind Gwen to rub her shoulders as they rode the elevator up.
“Do you want me to stay home with you?” She asked as she continued to dig her thumbs into Gwen’s knotted shoulders.
“It’s okay. Really. I’m going to shower and go to bed.” Gwen rolled her head forward and groaned as she felt some of the tension leave her shoulders. Once they got to their apartment, McKayla changed quickly and left after giving Gwen a quick kiss.
After scrubbing off all the makeup they’d caked on her face, Gwen took a long hot bubble bath while drinking a glass of wine. The stress from getting through her debut was starting to fade, her mind turned back to seeing Cole at the restaurant the night before. She remembered just how handsome he looked in his tuxedo. The way his jacket had hugged his broad chest and arms. His hair was a bit longer than before and looked like he had just been running his hands through it, sticking up in various places. The moment her eyes had locked with his had been like a jolt to her system. His eyes were her biggest weakness. They were the most beautiful thing about him.
She pulled on a pair of pale purple yoga pants and a black sports bra after her bath. She did a bit of yoga to help calm her body and mind before climbing into bed. Her mind was still stuck on Cole though and she couldn’t seem to get comfortable.
After tossing and turning for an hour, she got up and slipped on a tight white t-shirt that showed just a sliver of her belly and a pair of sneakers. She ran a brush through her hair before pulling it up into a high ponytail. She walked down to the lobby and stood just in front of the building. Gwen looked either way down the street debating on where to go. She decided she’d go to the gym just down the street and get in a work out. The gym was fairly busy for it being ten at night, but she was able to find a treadmill. Cranking up The Pussycat Dolls, she started at a steady jog. As images of Cole popped into her head again, she cranked up the treadmill until she was at a full out run. Eventually her mind cleared and all she could think about was her pumping muscles and lungs as they sucked in air. She had to slow after 30 minutes to a slower jog. As she was finishing the last 30 minutes of her run, she looked up at the televisions hanging along the walls. The news was on. She noticed they were talking about the fashion show and the other designers that had shown as well as her designs. She hit the stop button and stepped off the treadmill.
The TV was recapping the day’s event. The next day was the final day of the week, a few more designers would have their time on the runway. To end the whole week of events, in the evening there would be a big party, where they would serve dinner and the few designers who were picked as favorites would have a couple of their designs walked for everyone to see them once more.
Gwen stood there, arms crossed over her chest watching their assessment of all the designers that had shown their designs that day. She was pleased that they seemed to have really enjoyed her show. She left the gym once the news moved onto other topics that depressed her too much to continue watching.
As she pushed open the doors of the gym, she looked across the street that was still bustling with cabs and other cars even after 11pm. She watched as a crowd of people in suits exited the building directly across from her. Kinda late for a business meeting Gwen thought watching as they all gathered into a small circle to give their farewells, or so she assumed. She was just turning to head back to her apartment when the tall guy that had his back to her turned around. It was Cole. How had she managed to not see him for over a year and all of a sudden she was running into him everywhere she went? He locked eyes with her and the look on his face sent a shiver of lust down her spine. He took a step away from the group of people he was with towards her. Gwen turned on her heel and ran down the block and a half to the front of her apartment building before quickly slipping inside.
She knew she had to avoid him. It had been over a year, yes, but she knew he would be able to get her to give in to him if he simply took her in his arms. She would have to fight herself to push him away if he got close to her. Although she knew he lied to her, her body was a traitor and craved his touch. Her mind knew she couldn’t be around him, couldn’t trust him to not deceive her and break her again. He was an enigma for her, something she couldn’t
even explain to herself. She had tried many times over the last year to tell herself he wasn’t worth her time, her tears. Yet with a simple look from across the street, he had her knees weak and her body wanting.
Chapter 21
The next morning, Gwen woke after only getting a few hours of sleep. She had tossed and turned all night, even after McKayla had come home. She finally had moved to the living room when she made McKayla started tossing and turning too.
She quietly snuck into their bedroom to grab some workout clothes. She changed in the living room, leaving her pajamas folded on the couch. She put in her headphones and started walking. She walked in the gym and went straight to the treadmills. She cranked it up and went quickly to a jog then into a hard run as was her normal habit. She only had a pair of green eyes on her mind, but the pain wasn’t burning a hole in her. It had started happening over the last few months, where she could remember just the good parts of being with Cole without remembering his ultimate betrayal. After her hour long run on the treadmill, she got off. She’d grabbed a towel when she’d come in the gym and used it to wipe the sweat that streamed down her face now. Flipping her towel over her shoulder she moved over to the free weights in the very corner. Most the other people used the weights towards the middle of the wall. The weight racks ran the whole length of one of the walls and most of the people wanted to watch themselves in the mirrors as they worked out. Gwen was content to get the small weights she used and just work out away as far from everyone as she could get. She ran through her circuit of triceps and chest workouts. She didn’t do many chest exercises, just enough to help her girls stay perky. She put up her weights and headed for the locker room to relieve herself before heading home for a shower.
As she walked out of the bathroom, she ran right into a firm body that was walking past. Gwen fell back into the door that had clicked shut behind her “Ooof” she gasped as her back hit the door.
“Oops. Sorry. Didn’t expect someone to be running out of the bathroom.” A very muscular man with a dark tan and dark brown hair said as he grabbed onto Gwen’s shoulders. Gwen looked up into his dark brown eyes and smiled.
“And I didn’t expect there to be someone right outside the door.” She smiled shyly before pushing off the door, thinking he would step back but it just brought her closer to his very broad chest. He didn’t move, just slid his hands over her shoulders and down her arms. He wasn’t much taller than her so she was almost looking directly into his eyes. “Sorry about that.”
“Hm, I don’t really mind being bowled over as long as it is by such a fine ass woman like you.” Tall, dark and handsome replied. His fingers tightened slightly right above her elbows.
“You need to move back so I can get out of the doorway.” Gwen said patting his chest with a hand. He didn’t move. He looked down her body as much as he could from less than six inches away. He licked his lips and Gwen felt a shiver slide up her back. “Please?”
“Here I thought we were both enjoying being so close.” He stepped a tiny bit closer to her. Gwen started to get uncomfortable, but before she could do anything about it, the guy was gone from right in front of her and shoved against the wall across the hall. She had been jerked forward slightly and she stumbled and had to blink a few times before she could fully focus. She was surprised to realize it was Cole that had a hand against the man’s chest pushing him against the wall, while talking in such a low tone that Gwen couldn’t hear what was being said. Cole stepped back from the guy, who mumbled an apology before he disappeared down the hallway.
“Well, now that was interesting.” Gwen put her hands on her hips staring at Cole. It was a bit of a shock for her to see him standing there in a tight tank top, gym shorts and sneakers. Heck it was surprising to see him in her gym at all. She came here every day, sometimes multiple times a day and had never seen him before. “Thanks for the rescue but I had it handled.”
“Well, now he won’t be bothering you ever again.” Cole said crossing his arms over his chest, his arms bulging as he looked at her. She could feel his eyes run over her tight workout top and tiny shorts, then down over her bare legs and back up again. “Been a long time.”
“Not really. I’ve seen you a few times in the past couple days.” Gwen crossed her arms over her chest too. As much as she enjoyed taking in his fantastic body, she didn’t have to let him know. “What are you doing here?”
“Well, I have been trying to get you to talk to me.” Cole took two steps, closing the distance between them. “But for some reason you keep disappearing on me.”
“That’s because you hurt me, Cole. I don’t want you to get close enough to repeat it again.” Gwen tried her best to look at his nose or cheek bones or chin, anywhere but those eyes of his. She turned from him and started to walk away speaking over her shoulder, “I’m not sure I’ll ever recover from the first time, let alone be open for a second time.”
She walked a few steps before Cole grabbed her hand to stop her. His voice was low and laced with pain. “Please let me explain. There is so much you don’t know. It’s killing me that I hurt you so badly and I never got to explain or make things right with you.”
“It’s killing YOU? Right.... No, you don’t get to hurt me the way you did, then just show back up in my life more than a year later and think it’ll all just be forgiven. None of your pretty words will make it right. It doesn’t work that way. I’m not the same girl I was then. I’ve learned a lot about who I am and what I need from the people in my life. You, Cole, don’t have what it takes to be in my life. So, you can go to hell and leave me alone.” Gwen closed her eyes to pull together what little willpower she had against him. She took a quick moment to savor the feeling of his fingers laced with hers again before she pulled her hand from his. He reached to grab her again, but she slapped him as hard as she could across the face, “Fuck off.”
He was saying something but she wasn’t listening. She jogged out of the gym before full out running to the apartment. Once inside she slid down the door and burst into tears. Seeing him, hearing his voice, feeling his hand… She missed it and she hated it. She hated him for his lies. She hated herself for not being able to get over him. Gwen thought she was at least starting to get over him, but now all the old feelings and pain rushed over her again.
“Oh my god, Gwen. What on earth?” McKayla came out the bedroom, obviously she’d still been sleeping. But the sounds being ripped from Gwen’s body must have woken her. Gwen curled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them and rocking back and forth. She continued to sob as tears flooded down her cheeks. McKayla nudged her until she could slip behind her and hold her close from behind while whispering loving words. Eventually, Gwen had stopped the body wracking sobs and the tears let up to a small stream. McKayla helped her to the bedroom. She pulled back the covers and motioned for Gwen to climb into bed, which she did. McKayla circled the bed and crawled in next to her before pulling Gwen over to lay on her chest. “Gwen, what happened?”
“I ran into Cole.” Gwen spoke softly. She felt much better since she had cried out some of the pain. She still felt the burn of the betrayal but it was long ago and Gwen had been carting around all of it for so long. She came to the realization that she wanted to talk to Cole, she wanted to demand an answer for why he had did what he had. She wasn’t lying when she said she was a different woman than she had been back then. She was learning to handle her emotions with a more healthy response than the way she had growing up.
She explained to McKayla what had happened at the gym. About how seeing him again and how he had made it seem like it would be oh so easy to explain away the situation that had wrecked her and destroyed their relationship. As she spoke, she felt a new resolve come over her. It was time to force herself to move past this. She had given him a year of complete and utter heartbreak. That was over, she would prove to herself and him that she was strong enough to not need him or any answers from him. She didn’t expect to get the truth from him anyway. br />
She gingerly kissed McKayla on the lips before rolling out of the bed. She dug in her panty drawer then moved around the room. Before long, she was fully dressed. McKayla was still lying on the bed with only a pair of panties and a tank top on.
“Well, come on now. We are going shopping. Mama needs new accessories for our final gala tonight and I’m going to look hot as hell.” Gwen motioned for McKayla to get up and moving. She had received a message on her phone this morning informing her that she had been selected as a favorite and would need to have a couple dresses ready for the final show.
McKayla quickly dressed in jeans like the ones Gwen had pulled on and a sweater top like the one Gwen had one. They’d be cute and almost matching, the thought made McKayla smile.
They strolled the streets of New York, wandering into many of the stores. They had hours to waste and there was no better way to spend that time than looking at beautiful dresses and accessories. By the time they made their way back to their apartment, Gwen knew exactly how she wanted to alter one of the dresses she’d designed that was hanging in her closet.
When they entered the apartment building the clerk let them know he’d received a vase filled with flowers for McKayla. He handed over a huge bouquet of red roses. McKayla grabbed up the bouquet sniffing deeply and flipping the card out to Gwen. McKayla had many admirers from her modeling work. Gwen followed her into the elevator as she opened the card. It was a silly love note from some random fan asking for her to marry them.
When they entered the apartment, Gwen threw the note on the counter before taking all the bags filled with her and McKayla’s purchases into their room. McKayla had refreshed the water for the flowers and set them on the window sill in the living room so they could get some sun before heading into the bedroom to help put up all the items they bought. Gwen had already finished and was pulling out a white satin gown with ruching over the breast then fell straight down to the floor.