Keep Breathing

  “Let’s get a breather.” His fingers gripped mine as if he never wanted to let go. It made me smile. The small gestures he made let me feel more relaxed and wanted. It was so easy to just let him lead me through the crowd and out the doors into the electric Vegas night where the crowd outside was as bustling as the one within the club. The air was still warm, and the concrete radiated the heat which had been absorbed from the day. Still, it felt less claustrophobic than inside. The slight breeze tickled my sweaty skin, and cooled down the buildup of heated tension from dancing.

  I let my eyes linger on Seth for a bit. His fair skin was reddened from gyrating against me on the dance floor. Tiny droplets of sweat had built up and dripped down his collar, but I didn’t mind. It intensified the cologne he was wearing, and it heightened my awareness of his proximity. His blonde hair shined with dampness and was slicked back from his fingers running through it. I wanted to run my own fingers through it and step closer to kiss the saltiness of his skin. There was just something about this man that pulled me in, like a fish hook, never to let go. Was it a deadly thing? Why could I not shake the ever present dread I’d let hang over us all evening long, even though I desperately wanted to let it go and forget the past, every tiny bit of it.

  “It’s been a while since I’ve gotten to enjoy Vegas at night so much.” He peeked over toward me, and I let my lips upturn into a shy smile, not knowing what else to do. I usually turned into a stuttering idiot, so a smile and silence went a long way at moments like these when I didn’t even trust myself. “Want to watch the airplanes?”

  I blinked at the question, knowing the place he was talking about. “Sure.” It was a tiny strip of parking lining the fence of the McCarran Airport where people could park and watch the planes take off, racing by at impossible speeds as their massive metal bodies lifted off the ground. It was a lover’s paradise and people of all ages ended up there, whether to fall into each other’s arms, or just let the planes take them somewhere else instead. I was just hoping he wasn’t expecting anything by going there.

  “All right.” He never let go of my fingers, and I followed behind, letting him lead me through the sea of cars until his SUV popped into sight, and he opened the door for me. “Ladies first.” His brilliant smile made his deep blue eyes wrinkle slightly, showing the years softly on his face. I liked how time had carved out his features. He looked the same, yet different, more mature, more worn down from age and time. I hated to compare it to an old shoe, the soft and comfort of time and wear had done him good. He was no longer a boy of nineteen, inexperienced in matters of the heart.

  Maybe that could be a very good thing.

  “Have you taken many dates there?” I snapped the seatbelt on and stared out the window, wondering why I did this to myself. Who the hell wanted to know about the ex-lovers of their current date? That was nothing but asking for trouble. I gulped hoping I hadn’t opened a whole bag of tricks I didn’t want to hear.

  “No. I used to park there and lay in the back of my truck, watching the planes after they took off and looking to see if I could find the stars past the haze of the lights of the strip. Usually, I couldn’t, but the roar of engines helped me concentrate on my problems at the time. It was sort of humbling.”

  My eyebrow lifted as I finally turned toward him. “Humbling?”

  He chuckled, started the car and threw it into reverse. “Well, look at it this way. Back then, it used to help me to watch the world from another point of view. From the bed of my truck, the traffic disappeared. All I could see was the sky, the airplanes already there and hear the roar of their massive engines. It made things fall into prospective, and I could see more clearly after spending some time lying there, thinking it all out. It helped a lot.” He flicked his eyes to me before focusing on the road as we exited the parking lot. “You might get anxiety attacks, but I have to think about things, deeply, observe them in my head, like under a microscope. Especially things I can’t understand or can’t figure out. It was meditation, sort of.”

  I nodded, turning to stare out the window. Funny thing was, he made perfect sense. It was foolish of me to think I was the only one who had problems. Everyone did, just on so many different levels that it was hard to understand that unless someone like Seth laid it out so plainly to me.

  “What do you do to relax, Penny?”

  I leaned back into the soft leather chair, hearing it sigh under my weight. The airport was approaching, and I could see a plane racing down the tarmac to take off. The Las Vegas Strip was so close, the casinos provided the background to these steel monsters speeding off into the night air.

  “I don’t know. I read a lot, it helps me sleep when I get bouts of insomnia. I listen to classical music a lot. Sometimes I just drive too, drive down the streets, residential areas, on the highway, anywhere really. Getting lost is really relaxing actually.” I laughed at how ridiculous it sounded.

  “Sort of a recluse, aren’t you?”

  I nodded at his assessment of me, but it felt harsh putting it that way. Was I so withdrawn that I had let life pass me by? It made me cringe, and I hugged my arm. Staring harder out the window, I willed the tears to not come.

  “Well, that’s okay. Lots of famous people are recluses. I can’t say I blame you. I deal with the public all day long at my coffee shop, and let me tell you, some people need to remember what it’s like for others and not be so hell-bent on being rude or bringing others down. It’s a real shame to see people treat each other like crap just because they think they can. If I could avoid the world, I wouldn’t mind getting lost in the forest or just travel the world so no one knows or cares who I am and leaves me be.”

  Why this made me grin, I didn’t know, but I stifled a laugh, and I let the world flash by as we approached the parking lot and slid into a spot near the end. The place wasn’t crowded today, so there weren’t too many people gawking at the planes. It was nice, as if we had our own private viewing.

  “Would you really just up and go one day?”

  He shrugged, leaning back in his chair and letting his head drop back. The AC ruffled his hair and he blinked up at the roof of the SUV. “Sure. But it might be more fun to do it with someone else.” His eyes met mine, and I felt the rush of blood to my face. I was glad it was dark and the lighting there was minimal.

  “Have you dated since…since we broke up?” My voice quivered, and I hoped I didn’t sound too off-putting.

  He sighed, and stared out the window as one jumbo jetliner touched ground. He stayed quiet until the roar of the engine died down and the plane taxied its way toward the terminal.

  “Yes. I dated, but only briefly. I met Dana soon after we broke up and it all happened so fast, I wasn’t really prepared to be a father. Plus, she ended up getting so sick right away after she had the baby that it was all surreal.”

  I sat up, aware that he’d just revealed that he had a kid. “What happened?”

  “Well, I met Dana a few weeks after we broke up. It was pretty fast, like a one night stand actually, but we ended up seeing each other again before I left for Moldova. Then she called me up one day to tell me she’s pregnant. I was pretty shocked, I hardly knew her. I was willing to work it out though, and would never dream of leaving her to raise a child alone.”

  “Did you love her?”

  The silence felt heavy and all I could hear was my heart jumping in my chest.

  “I loved her, but not in the way she should’ve been loved. It all was so fast. She had the baby and we still hardly knew each other. She wanted things I couldn’t give her and vice versa. We broke up when my son was eight months old. Mutually. I got to see my son every other week and she got a new boyfriend.”

  “I see.” I shifted in the chair, reaching out to adjust the AC just to have something to do with my twitching fingers. “What happened to her? You said she was sick?”

  “Yeah,” he let out a deep sigh, and scratched his head. I could tell he hadn’t really told this story much and it was hard
. Probably more so than I thought. “Dana died about ten months later, after she was diagnosed, terminal Breast cancer. There was nothing to be done, and she chose to do homeopathic medicine instead of chemo. She knew it wouldn’t work, but she didn’t want to suffer, throwing up and having no energy the last months of her life. I was mad at her, for our son, for what she was doing, but I had to respect her wishes.”

  “After she died, I got my son full time, and it was definitely a wakeup call. I’d taken him part time, just on weekends and stuff, but having him there with me all the time? It was definitely an adjustment.”

  “What’s his name?”

  “Cameron.”

  “I like that.”

  “Me too.”

  I turned toward him and leaned on the crook of my arm. “So he’s what…five?”

  “Yes. He’s really a sharp little guy.”

  “Does he look like you or her?”

  “She always said he looks like he was cloned from me, but she did all the work.”

  I laughed, letting my free hand fall between us. He promptly slipped his fingers through mine, and brought it up to his lips, sending a thrill of butterflies shooting up my arm and hitting my chest.

  “I bet he’s a cute one.”

  “Yeah, he’ll be a heart breaker.” Seth tugged on my arm to bring me closer as he inched over. His proximity heightened my senses, and his musky scent sent me into overdrive. Damn…if it hadn’t been so long since I’d been with a man, I might’ve been able to control myself more. He made it so hard to pull away, so impossible to not want him in so many ways. His lips continued their dance along my knuckles, across my wrist, and into the inner side of my arm. Gooseflesh flared along the trail, and I held my breath as his face neared mine.

  “Just like his father?”

  His eyes met mine, and I saw a flicker of sadness in them. “I hope not. He’s smarter than that.”

  “Seth? I…I…” I didn’t get to finish my sentence because he closed the gap between us and pressed his warm, sensual lips against mine. They felt like burning coals, but not in a bad way. I closed my eyes and let his heat warm my face until it was unbearably hot. I didn’t pull back or demand he leave me alone. No…I let his tongue tease my lips and opened them to welcome him in.

  We engulfed each other, desperation marking our tongues as they danced together. As he pulled me deeper into his embrace, I ran my fingers through his hair. His scent was all over the place now, on my skin, on my clothes, but it’s not enough. I needed more of him, like a desire denied for far too long screaming in my head.

  “Can we go?”

  His lips brushed mine as he responded, “Anywhere you want to go.”

  I nodded, and pushed away into my seat, slipping the belt back into place.

  “How about your place?”

  “Okay. It’s just down the street.”

  “Perfect.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Penny

  “CLOSE YOUR EYES.”

  I heard him tinker with something before it clicked together. A moment later, a trickle of classical music filled the air. I recognized it, and wanted to say so, but the title slipped my mind. My nervousness distracted me from thinking clearly and the anticipation was killing me. Where had I heard the song before?

  “Tell me what you like.” Seth’s voice was soft, and hummed against the sensitive area under my ear where my jawline curved toward my neck. The warmth of his body spread from his to mine, and I gasped from the sudden rush it gave me. “Anything you want, I’ll give it to you, Penny. I meant it when I said I would do anything to win you back, and I intend to show you many times over.”

  His kiss lingered on my flesh, burning like a distant memory. It excited me, and my heart literally skipped a beat as my breath caught in my throat. What could I say to that? It’d been so long since I’d been with someone, but my body was responding against my wishes, eager to meet with his proximity. Throwing all thoughts of celibacy out the window, I realized that I wanted him back, too, but it defeated everything I’d promised myself. I hadn’t wanted it to go this far, well…maybe. I just didn’t know. Could I do this? Could I take what I needed and still keep my head on straight? What was going to happen when the time came to push him away again? What if he got too close again? I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t sure of anything anymore. Especially when this man was so dangerously close. His enticing scent was scrambling my senses into oblivion as his lips explored my body, sending sparks down my skin along the trails of his mouth. I was pretty sure I was done for.

  The lights were dim in his room and added to the sensual atmosphere. I’d been turned into putty as his hands made their way seductively down my sides, lifted my tank and slipped under it while pulling me closer. His body rocked slowly to the light music, making me dizzy as I pulled the air into my lungs, which were tightening dangerously.

  The alcohol swam in my head, though I knew exactly what I was getting into. It may have loosened my wound up nerves, but I couldn’t say that I didn’t want him as badly as he wanted me. Each kiss was a taste of ambrosia, and every caress of his fingers made me want to rip his clothes off, shove him onto the bed and have my own way with him, over and over.

  Of all the places in the world, that was the most dangerous place to be. How could I have let him bring me here and still remain focused? As his body moved, hot and hypnotizing, I had to let go. There was no fighting it. Surrendering, I let him slip my clothes over my head. He allowed me to pull the buttons of his shirt apart, the color a dark blue in the dim lighting, like his eyes, like the ocean beach where we had spent so much time together. I wanted to remember that love, to feel it again coursing through me like lightning. It was a long forgotten high I craved with each cell of my being.

  He led me toward the bed, and I let him. Sitting down, he pulled down my jeans, kneeling down as my eyes followed his movements. His skin was searing mine as he traced my thighs on the way down, leaving a trail of tingling until he tossed my shorts to the side. He smelled amazing, even with the residual saltiness of his sweat, it had just intensified the pheromones surely jumping right off him and luring me in. Pulling his shirt off, he stood up and unbuttoned his pants until only his boxers remained, hugging his slender hips and muscular stomach.

  If I had any doubts that he still desired me, they went out the window as I took in the entirety of his body.

  My heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. On and on it fluttered like a hummingbird trapped inside my ribcage, pounding my chest and making my breath escape too fast. It was dizzying, but exciting. I crawled back into the pillows and let him hover over me, his incredible body lean and hard, making it obvious that he worked out and took care of it. It flared up the air around me, making it hot and sticky. His body let me know what he thought of mine, and I relished what it was doing to him. I wanted him badly, enough that I tugged at him longingly, willing him to proceed and take me back to the days where our bodies were one, over and over in complete surrender. There was no turning back now.

  He bent forward, his eyes flashing as they reflected the soft light glowing around us. “Penny.” His breathy voice sent prickling gooseflesh down my neck and arms. How he did that with just a whisper of my name had me losing my resolve to deny him anything. Soft, flighty kisses sent me in overdrive, and I didn’t think I could stand to wait any longer.

  I placed a finger on his lips and shook my head, finally feeling a bit more sober as I came up for air. Just to breathe him in again. “Don’t say a word.”

  His eyes lingered on mine, and I knew he was trying to decipher if that was a good thing or not. But he let it go, succumbing to the hunger dwelling within his adoring gaze and closed the gap between us, pressing his lips on mine. My mouth opened slightly to let his tongue explore, reciprocating in deep, hungry kisses as though nothing could quench the thirst we had for each other. Nothing less than intense bursts of energy filled me, and I’d never felt so wanted, so cherished.

  Set
h was the most dangerous man I’d ever met, and he had me under his power again.

  Oh, dear sweet Lord.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Penny

  I SAT UP, jarred and disorientated. Seeing the blinding light of the morning sun streaming in through the slightly parted window curtains, I rubbed my eyes and tried to focus on what had happened the night before. I wasn’t sure where I was or how the hell I had gotten there. One too many cocktails from the night before were still swimming in my head, making it murky for several moments before I pushed it away and realized, with a growing dread and panic, just where I was.

  Shit!

  I hopped out of bed and tried to gather my clothes off the dark maroon carpet. Who has maroon carpet? I collapsed back onto the bed, feeling my mind swimming while sparks shot across my vision. I had stood up too fast and was paying for it. Groaning, I gripped my head between my hands and let the blood return to my brain. Seth wasn’t in the room, and I didn’t know where he’d gone off to, but I had to get home if I was to salvage any of my pride in the process.

  I tried to stand up again, but much more slowly, before shimmying my clothing back on. Frantically, I searched for my purse, pulling apart the room to no avail. Finally, I pulled it out from under the bed and flipped open my phone to check the time.

  6:45am. I groaned and pulled my travel brush out, heading toward the master bath attached to the room to quickly freshen up before I hightailed it out of there. Even the smell of bacon, which was now deliciously permeating the air, didn’t keep me from locking myself in the bathroom and leaning back on the door, letting out a deep, groaning sigh.

  I had fucked it up. Not even a week had gone by, and I’d let him in, just like that! Just dropped all my defenses and let the enemy waltz right in through the gate so he could gallop around and have his fun, then traipse right out of my life once more. Not that I hadn’t had an exhilarating time, for my body ached in all the right places, and it was begging for more. The tender spot between my thighs was proof enough how much fun we’d had the night before, and it had my insides bursting at the thought of each moment of lust and sex. It played like flashes of a movie over and over in my head, and it had me holding my breath as the excitement filled me up once more. This, above all else, made me groan as I yanked my brush painfully through the knots of hair, tousled from the night rumpus we’d enjoyed.