Please Don't Take My Baby

  That night I wrote up my fostering notes with a very heavy heart. Foster carer’s notes should be objective and non-judgemental, and need to report what has happened during the day – good and bad. While I made today’s account as positive as I could – including the fact that Jade had answered when I’d phoned and had come home when asked to – I also had to include that she’d lied to me about where she was going and that she’d been drinking heavily. I wondered what Jade would think of it all if she read my notes on her file at the social services when she was adult, as she had a right to do.

  I checked on Jade before I went to bed, again at 2.00 a.m., and then again in the morning when I got up at 6.00. The bucket was empty, so she hadn’t been sick, and she’d hardly changed position all night, sleeping on her side cuddled up to Chi Chi. I closed her bedroom door and left her to sleep, while Adrian, Paula and I got ready and went to school. Thankfully, Adrian and Paula were unaware of Jade’s behaviour, as it had happened after they were in bed and asleep. As far as they were concerned, therefore, we’d all had a nice weekend with a takeaway on Friday and a day out on Saturday. Long may it stay that way, I thought.

  When I returned from taking Paula to school there was no sign of Jade, so I went up to her room and gently woke her. She wasn’t happy.

  ‘Piss off,’ she moaned, slowly coming round. ‘Leave me alone.’

  ‘You need to get up,’ I said. ‘Rachel is coming at eleven o’clock.’

  ‘Not seeing her,’ Jade said, pulling the duvet over her head. ‘Tell her to come back later.’

  ‘Of course I’m not telling her to come back later. She’s a very busy social worker. Once you’ve had a wash you’ll feel better. Now get up, please.’

  I crossed to the window and opened the curtains. It was a bright clear day and the low winter sun shone on to Jade’s bed.

  ‘Close them bleeding curtains!’ Jade cursed from beneath the duvet. ‘I don’t feel good. I’ve got a headache.’

  ‘Of course you’ve got a headache!’ I said, seizing the opportunity to reinforce my lecture. ‘You had too much to drink. And if you’re not feeling well, imagine how your poor little baby is feeling. You can’t carry on like this, Jade. It’s selfish. The social services have given you a chance to prove yourself to be someone responsible enough to care for a baby and you’re throwing it away. Now get up, please, and come downstairs.’

  I came out of her bedroom and closed the door behind me, hoping she’d think about what I’d said.

  Jade hadn’t come downstairs by the time Rachel arrived, although I’d checked she was up and had had a bath. ‘She’ll be down in a minute,’ I confirmed to Rachel. Then I showed her through to the sitting room and made her a cup of her coffee.

  ‘Jade came home eventually last night?’ Rachel said as I put her coffee on the table within reach.

  ‘Yes,’ I said, surprised she knew. ‘You know what happened, then?’

  Rachel gave a small nod. ‘The couple who live in the flat below the one where Jade was drinking with her friends phoned the police and complained about the noise. The police went into the flat and recognized Jade, and also a runaway who’s now been returned to her mother.’

  ‘Has Jade been in trouble with the police before?’ I asked, wondering how they’d recognized her.

  ‘Not exactly. She’s been with friends who have been in trouble. The police know the kids who hang around the estate by sight. And Jade always seems to be there – in the wrong place at the wrong time.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I said, feeling responsible. ‘I didn’t know she was going there. I’m very worried about Jade,’ and I brought Rachel up to date as she drank her coffee and made a few notes.

  ‘Meryl’s very concerned about Jade’s behaviour, too,’ Rachel said. ‘Especially after all she’s done to try and help her.’

  I was puzzled. ‘How does Meryl know? Jade was out when she called round. Has she seen Jade?’

  Rachel nodded. ‘One afternoon last week Jade was in a gang who were hanging around outside the school. It was only 5.30 but they all had cans of beer and bottles of wine. Jade ran off before Meryl could speak to her. Meryl tried phoning Jade’s mobile but she didn’t answer and she hasn’t returned her voicemail messages.’

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ I said again. ‘Whatever must Meryl think? Jade’s fine when she’s at home with me but as soon as she’s out with her friends something takes over.’

  ‘Crowd culture,’ Rachel offered. ‘If it’s any consolation, Jackie had the same problem with her.’ It wasn’t any consolation; in fact it made it worse. I felt I should have been doing a better job with Jade, not failing her as her mother had done. ‘At her age you can’t stop Jade going out if she has a mind to,’ Rachel added. ‘And at least you had a nice evening on Friday and day out on Saturday. I expect Jade enjoyed that.’

  ‘Yes, she did,’ I said. ‘We all did. Pity it couldn’t have continued.’

  ‘Are you talking about me?’ Jade said, suddenly appearing at the sitting-room door and making us start.

  ‘Yes. Come on in,’ Rachel said, taking Jade’s sudden arrival in her stride.

  ‘I’m gonna get a drink first,’ Jade said.

  ‘Would you like some breakfast?’ I asked.

  ‘Na. Later.’

  ‘Later, please,’ Rachel corrected, raising her eyebrows slightly at Jade’s lack of politeness.

  Rachel and I waited until Jade had fetched herself a drink before continuing. Jade reappeared with a glass of orange juice and a handful of biscuits. When I foster younger children I regulate how many biscuits they eat, but at Jade’s age she had free access to the kitchen (and therefore the biscuits), so all I could do was advise on a good diet – but not now: there were other more pressing issues.

  ‘You’re not looking too bright,’ Rachel said to Jade as she slumped in the armchair and took a sip of her juice. Although Jade looked fresher after her bath she still looked quite pale.

  Jade shrugged and began eating the biscuits, her body craving sugar after all the alcohol of the night before.

  ‘Are you taking your iron tablets?’ Rachel asked Jade.

  ‘Ain’t got none,’ Jade said.

  ‘Didn’t they give you any at the hospital?’ Rachel asked. ‘I thought all pregnant women were given an iron supplement.’

  Jade shrugged. ‘Dunno.’

  ‘We’ve got Jade’s antenatal appointment on Wednesday,’ I said. ‘I’ll check then.’

  ‘Thanks,’ Rachel said, making a note. ‘I know Jade has missed some of her antenatal appointments. I think she’s overdue for a scan, aren’t you, Jade?’

  ‘Dunno,’ Jade said.

  ‘I’ll check,’ I said.

  ‘It’s important you look after yourself, as I’ve told you before,’ Rachel said to Jade. Jade shrugged.

  ‘I think we need to have another chat,’ Rachel said.

  It’s usual when a social worker visits for them to spend some time alone with the child (or young person) so that they can raise issues which they may not like to raise in front of the foster carer. I thought I should offer to go. ‘Shall I leave you two alone to have a chat?’ I asked.

  ‘Thank you, Cathy,’ Rachel replied.

  ‘Don’t care,’ Jade said.

  ‘I’ll be in the kitchen if I’m needed,’ I said. I left the sitting room and closed the door behind me.

  What Jade and her social worker talked about was in confidence and I would be told what I needed to know. Foster carers have to get used to facilitating meetings in their homes (between the child and their social worker) from which they are excluded and in which they may be discussed. Foster carers also have to get used to having their privacy invaded by spot checks on their homes as well as at their annual review when the whole house is inspected by their support social worker, including their own and their children’s bedrooms. Some foster carers cannot get used to what they see as an unnecessary and intrusive invasion of their privacy and don’t continue fostering. I fe
el that while some checks are necessary, for the well-being of the child, others have gone too far. For example, the contents of the carer’s fridge and freezer are now examined to make sure there’s enough food to feed the child. Surely if you trust a carer to look after a child you can trust them to feed them properly?

  Rachel and Jade were together for about twenty minutes before I heard the sitting-room door open and Jade go upstairs. I left what I was doing in the kitchen and went round. ‘Everything all right?’ I asked, going into the sitting room.

  Rachel looked up from writing in her notebook. ‘Yes. Jade’s gone upstairs to have a lie-down. She says she’s still not feeling well. I expect she’s still got a hangover but keep an eye on her.’

  ‘I will,’ I said.

  I sat down and waited as Rachel wrote. ‘Jade is eating and sleeping well?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes. She sleeps very well. She eats well but she likes fried foods and sweet things. I’m trying to get her to eat more fresh fruit and vegetables.’

  ‘Good,’ Rachel said, making another note. Then she put her pad and pen in her bag and looked at me. ‘I’ve had a very serious chat with Jade and I’ve told her she’s got to stop drinking. She’s promised to try. I’ve also explained that the only mother-and-baby placement free at present is outside the county and she doesn’t want to move there – away from all her friends. I’ve told her I’m hoping a suitable placement will be free in the next few weeks, but if not then she’ll have to move out of the county until one becomes free. She’s not happy but it might be best in the long run: it would give her a fresh start, away from her mates.’

  ‘Yes,’ I agreed. ‘It might be just what she needs. All her problems seem to stem from that group of friends.’

  Rachel nodded and then stood, ready to leave. ‘Well, thanks for all you’re doing, Cathy. I know Jade’s not the easiest child in the world but she’s not the worst either.’

  ‘No indeed,’ I said. ‘I like her but I am concerned about her unsafe behaviour – both for her and for her baby.’

  ‘I’ve told her she’s got to stay in more and she’s agreed.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I said. ‘That’s a relief. I’ve hardly seen her as she’s been out so much.’

  I went with Rachel to the front door, where she asked me to say goodbye to Jade for her and left.

  A couple of minutes after Rachel had gone I heard Jade come downstairs. I was in the kitchen preparing us some lunch, but Jade didn’t come in.

  ‘I’m just going to the postbox,’ Jade called from the hall. ‘I’ve got a letter to post.’

  ‘All right, love,’ I said. ‘You’ll need your coat on, even though the postbox is just up the road. It’s freezing out there.’

  I heard the front door open and close and I continued making our lunch. A more savvy, experienced teen carer would probably have known that teenagers very rarely write letters; they text. But being naïve, and mindful of the thank-you letters Adrian and Paula sometimes wrote, I never thought to check if Jade was carrying a letter, which of course she wasn’t.

  The postbox was about a two-minute walk up our street and it normally takes the same amount of time to walk back again. Four minutes in total. So when fifteen minutes had passed and our lunch was ready, and there was no sign of Jade, realization slowly dawned. I went into the hall, put on my coat and, dropping my front-door keys in my pocket, went out. I walked far enough up the street to see the postbox. There was no sign of Jade. I turned and went home again, hurt by her dishonesty and now regretting that I’d ever agreed to look after her, for it seemed there was nothing I could do to help her.

  Chapter Ten

  ‘Like You See on the Telly’

  I phoned Jade’s mobile; she didn’t answer. I hadn’t really expected her to. I left a message on her voicemail: ‘Jade, it’s Cathy. I need to know where you are. Please phone me.’

  Jade didn’t return my call, so I phoned again at six o’clock and left another message: ‘Jade, it’s Cathy. I want you home by nine o’clock at the latest. Do you understand?’

  I hid my concern from Adrian and Paula and continued with the evening as best I could. I told them only that Jade was out with her friends and would be home later – probably after they were in bed. They accepted this, although Paula said she would have liked Jade to be at home more often so that she could play with her; Adrian said she was probably with Ty. I hoped she was but I doubted it.

  Then shortly before seven o’clock the doorbell rang and, leaving Adrian and Paula in the sitting room, I went down the hall and checked the security spyhole before answering the door. To my surprise I saw Jade standing in the porch.

  ‘Hello, love,’ I said, opening the door. ‘Good to see you. Did you forget your key?’

  ‘I’m ill,’ she said, coming in and leaning against the wall for support.

  My delight at her early return quickly disappeared. I assumed she’d been drinking again, as she heaved herself off the wall and without taking off her coat lumbered to the foot of the staircase. I went over, ready to help her up the stairs and into bed. I was anxious and annoyed that she was in this state again and this time Adrian and Paula would see her. However, instead of climbing the stairs Jade sat on the bottom step, bent forward, and with her arms looped around her knees, groaned loudly.

  ‘I’m ill,’ she said again.

  ‘How much have you had to drink, Jade?’ I asked.

  ‘Nothing,’ she said. ‘Only water.’

  I wasn’t convinced, although I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

  ‘Perhaps it’s indigestion,’ I suggested, patting her shoulder reassuringly. ‘What have you had to eat?’

  ‘Just chips for lunch,’ she said, still bent forward.

  ‘Where exactly is the pain?’

  ‘Here,’ she groaned, pointing to her bump.

  ‘It could be Braxton Hicks contractions,’ I said. ‘Do you remember I talked to you about those?’

  ‘Na,’ Jade said and groaned again.

  ‘They are little contractions that go on throughout pregnancy. They’re nothing to worry about and you can usually feel them if you put your hand on your stomach.’

  ‘Yeah, I can feel them,’ she said, clutching her stomach. ‘Here, you feel.’

  I gently placed the palm of my hand on the outside of her jumper. At first all I could feel was the warmth of her body coming through her taut jumper, but after a moment I felt her stomach wall tighten hard. Jade groaned with the pain.

  ‘Is that a branston hiccup?’ she asked, mispronouncing the word.

  ‘I think so,’ I said, although the only experience I’d had was when I was expecting Adrian and Paula. ‘How long have you been having them?’ I asked.

  ‘It started this afternoon,’ she groaned. ‘Even before I ate the chips. Do you think I’m going to have my baby?’

  ‘I don’t think so,’ I said, my calm manner belying my racing heart. ‘You’ve still got quite a few weeks to go yet, but I think we’ll get you checked by a doctor, just to be safe. I’ll help you into my car and take you up to the hospital.’

  ‘Na. I want to go in an ambulance like you see on television,’ Jade said.

  ‘I don’t think that’s necessary,’ I said. ‘How did you get here?’

  ‘On the bus, but the pain’s worse now. Supposing I have my baby in your car?’ And to prove her point Jade doubled over and groaned loudly.

  It’s very difficult to judge another person’s pain; our thresholds are all different, and I didn’t know if or how much Jade was exaggerating. If she’d been my daughter, whom I obviously knew very well, I would have helped her into the car and driven her to the hospital to be checked over, but I couldn’t take the risk with a foster child, especially as Jade was asking for an ambulance. If I refused and something went wrong I’d be responsible and I’d never forgive myself.

  ‘I’ll phone for an ambulance,’ I said.

  Jade uncurled and stopped groaning.

  As I went to the
phone on the hall table Adrian and Paula appeared from the sitting room; they stood at the end of the hall, looking very worried.

  ‘It’s all right,’ I said. ‘Jade’s not feeling so well so I am going to phone for an ambulance.’

  I lifted the receiver and keyed in 999 for the emergency services. The control answered immediately and asked which emergency service I wanted. ‘Ambulance,’ I said.

  ‘And the number you are calling from?’

  I gave my landline number.

  ‘I’m putting you through now.’

  ‘I’m a foster carer,’ I began as soon as I was connected to the ambulance service. ‘I’m fostering a seventeen-year-old girl who is seven months pregnant. She appears to be having regular contractions.’

  A calm male voice on the end of the phone asked for my name and address, which I gave.

  ‘And you want the ambulance to this address?’ he confirmed.

  ‘Yes please.’

  ‘An ambulance is on its way,’ he said. ‘Stay on the line, please, while I take a few more details. What’s the full name and date of birth of the young person?’

  I told him.

  ‘Have her waters broken?’

  ‘I don’t think so,’ I said. ‘I’ll ask her.’

  I looked at Jade, who had stopped moaning and seemed to be revelling in the drama.

  ‘Jade, have your waters broken?’ I asked her.

  ‘Dunno,’ she said. It should have been obvious to her if they had, and her leggings were dry.

  ‘I’m sure they haven’t,’ I said to ambulance control.

  ‘All right. Stay with her and reassure her. The ambulance will be with you soon.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  I replaced the receiver and smiled reassuringly at Jade, although she was pain free at present. ‘It’s OK,’ I said to Adrian and Paula, who were looking serious and watching me intently from the other end of the hall. My thoughts were racing. I needed to phone Homefinders, who would notify the social services – they always had to be informed if a child or young person went into hospital as an emergency. I should also phone Jackie and tell her what was happening, and I would need someone to stay with Adrian and Paula while I went in the ambulance with Jade.