Shattered Souls
“Lenzi, Zak was going to kill you last night. I couldn’t let him do it. My job is to protect you, so I saved you the only way I knew how. I put my soul in his body and threatened him.”
It made sense now. “That’s the reason he pulled over. It’s you he was talking to.”
There were tears in his eyes when he turned to me. “You’ve come back this cycle fresh, with a new life and so much promise. I couldn’t watch you die again. Especially like that. I’d rather die myself.”
The truth hit me like a head-on with a truck. He had broken one of the primary IC laws. He had entered the body of a human outside an exorcism. Breaking primary laws resulted in discontinuance. Oh, no. They were going to execute him.
“No. Alden.” I climbed out of the bed and faced him. I took his beautiful face in my hands, avoiding the cut on his cheek and the bandage on his neck. “No, Alden. There has to be a way out.”
He shook his head. “There’s no way out. The rule is absolute. I knew what would happen when I broke it. It’s just a matter of time, Lenzi.”
“No, but if you—”
He stood. “Stop. It’s over. Fighting it will only waste our remaining time together. I don’t want to leave this earth scraping and clawing for life. I’ve had a good life—lots of them, actually. I’m grateful.”
A glimmer of hope warmed my chest. “Lives. That’s right. We’ll be together again in the next cycle.”
He flipped his hair out of his eyes. “No, Lenzi. I’ll be discontinued, body and soul. They’ll destroy my soul brand before I die. I won’t come back. Ever.”
Cold chills danced up and down my spine as I processed his words. Never come back . . . ever. I wouldn’t even have the hope of being with him in the next cycle?
My legs shook as I paced the room, wishing I had more knowledge. Wishing I could remember my past lives. Wishing I were Rose.
“Rose would know what to do,” I said.
He faced me. “Rose would know that there is nothing she could do. It’s over, Lenzi. The offices open at eight o’clock. I’m going to get the call any second. Nothing can stop it. It’s just a matter of time. Please, let this be peaceful.”
I ran to his arms and held him. This couldn’t be happening. There had to be a way. I had to find a way.
“How did they find out?”
He stroked my back. “I reported it last night.”
I pulled away. “Why would you do that? Why?”
“Because you would have figured it out and it would have put you in danger.” He took my face in his hands, wiping away a tear with his thumb. “If I hadn’t, they would have discontinued you for covering for me. I couldn’t bear that.”
“They would never have known!” I yelled.
He wrapped his arms around me again. “They know when I split my soul. I’d have to file a report if it were a resolution.”
I twisted out of his arms. “You could have lied!”
“That’s not how it works. My job is to protect you, not put you in danger.”
His phone rang.
ICDC.
“This is Protector 438.” Alden ran his fingers through my hair as he listened. “Yes, I know. . . . Yes, I am aware of that.” He took me in his arms and kissed the top of my head. “I will be at the Galvez by noon. Yes, sir.” He dropped his phone and squeezed me tighter.
“What did they say?” I buried my face in his shirt, trying to get closer to him.
“They told me to get my affairs in order.”
I began to sob, my fingers digging into his back. “No, Alden. Tell them no.”
He tilted my head up and kissed me. Soon, the desperation of the kiss lessened, and he let me go. I watched the fire leave his eyes as he pulled away from me emotionally.
“You don’t tell the IC no,” he whispered. “I’m not scared. It’ll be painless, and they’ll make it look like I had an accident to give my parents closure.”
“I don’t want closure—I want you with me,” I cried as I twisted my fingers into his shirt, trying any way I could to keep him near me.
“They’ll probably pair you with Horace. You’ll work well together. I trust him with your life.”
“My life. That’s right, Alden. It’s my life—not the IC’s. If they discontinue you, I’m done. I’m finished with this crap. I’m quitting or retiring, or whatever Speakers do. They can take their brand and their rules and—” He stepped away and the loss of him left me as helpless as I’d been last night. Only this time, there were no comforting arms waiting, no rush of air back into my lungs.
There was only a life without Alden.
“Good-bye, Lenzi Rose.” I hated his tone of voice. The calmness of it, the resignation. My hands tightened, refusing to let him take one step away from me. He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t leave me now. Not now.
“No! It’s not good-bye. I’ll tell them you had to do it. I’ll tell them it’s all my fault.”
He pried my fingers from his shirt, curled them into my palms, and kissed the insides of my wrists. “I have to go now. I hope you’ll change your mind about retirement. You are a brilliant Speaker. You can make the world better. You certainly made my world better.” He kissed me lightly on the lips. The platonic Rose kiss.
He was out of the room before I could remember how to breathe.
Too late, I stumbled after him, more falling than running, and I slammed into the front door. From the narrow vertical window beside the door, I caught a glimpse of his car turning off my street.
“Alden! Don’t leave me!” I sobbed, pounding my fists on the door, just like I wanted to pound the stupid IC and their inane rules.
My legs gave out, and I slid down to sit on the tile floor. I wrapped my arms around my legs, pressed my forehead against the cool glass, and stared out of the window long after he’d vanished.
“Alden,” I whispered, closing my eyes, trying to feel some bit of him, but there was nothing, only pain, regret, and emptiness.
I had no idea how much time passed. I didn’t care. I didn’t care if I ever moved from this place, or ever helped another Hindered, or ever took another breath.
The hole in my heart was bigger and emptier than the one that had been there before Alden came along and blew my life apart at the seams.
Lenzi Rose Anderson would never be the same.
TWENTY-NINE
I sat inside my front door. There was no need to do anything. There was nothing I could do. My phone rang. It I would hurt too much to hear Alden’s voice again, and talking to my mom would be a nightmare, so without checking the number, I let it ring . . . and ring . . . and ring. . . .
There was nothing I could do.
Ding-dong.
Nothing.
Ring . . . ring . . . ring.
Nothing.
Knock, knock.
“Nothing can stop it. It’s just a matter of time,” Alden had said.
I couldn’t help him, just like I couldn’t help Dad.
“Lenzi. Open up!” It was Race outside my door. “Alden needs his phone, Lenzi. He left it here. He has to turn it in to the IC.”
“Screw the IC. Tell them to come and get it themselves!”
“He has to turn it in. It’s the honorable thing to do.”
That’s it. Enough. I stood up and shouted through the door. “Honorable? There is nothing honorable about any of this. The only honorable thing was what Alden did, and they’re going to kill him for it. I hate this, Race. I hate the IC. I hate the entire system.”
“Then you hate Alden. He typifies the system. Open the door, please, Lenzi. Let him do this with dignity. He needs to return their property. It’s important to him.”
The system. Dignity. The whole thing sucked, but I didn’t want to make it any worse on Alden than it already was. I jerked the door open and climbed the stairs without greeting Race. Alden’s phone was on my floor where he had dropped it.
A memory tugged at the back of my brain. I closed my eyes and focused. Alden was i
n jail. The shadows cast by the flickering gas lamp at the end of the row of cells made the walls seem alive with motion. “It’s hopeless, Rose,” he said. “Smith saw to it there is no evidence in my favor. I’ll face a firing squad for this.”
Rose placed her hands over his on the iron bars between them. “There must be a way. I will find a way.”
“Nothing can stop it,” Alden in the memory whispered. “It’s just a matter of time.”
I opened my eyes. Those were the same words he had just said to me.
And this memory was from the Civil War. He had been wrong back then. Rose found a way. She did stop it. And so would I.
“Thanks, Rose,” I whispered.
I picked up Alden’s phone and turned it over in my hand. “ICDC” was the last call received. I highlighted the number and hit Send.
The voice that answered was a deep baritone. “This is Protector 236.”
“This is Speaker 102. You called my partner this morning and told him to get his affairs in order. Well, I’m one of the things he had to get in order, and I’m not very orderly, my friend. I’m going to testify at his hearing.” I was surprised by the forcefulness in my voice.
“I’m sorry, but that is not appropriate. The facts are irrefutable.”
“Wanna bet? I’m going to refute them. I’ll be there at noon, and I will be heard. I expect you to pass that on for me. Do you understand, Protector 236?”
“I will convey your request to the Council. I will warn you, however. If your presence was not requested, you will not be heard.”
I felt like my head was going to explode. “Like hell I won’t!” I ended the call and stood in the center of the room gasping for air. I knew that Race was standing in the doorway, but I couldn’t face him yet. I glanced at my watch. Ten twenty-one.
“Race, please take me with you to Galveston when you deliver Alden’s phone,” I said.
Race shifted in the doorway. “Lenzi, that’s not a good idea. If you show up, it’ll only make it worse for Alden. Surely you realize how hard this is for him. Let him do this gracefully.”
“There’s hope until the very last second. Alden said that to me.”
Race rolled his eyes. “Of course he said that. It’s on the cover page of the IC Rule Book. It’s kind of our motto. Most certainly, he said it in relation to the Hindered. You can’t just take a sentence out of context like that. It doesn’t apply in this case.”
“To me, it does.” I held the phone up and wiggled it. “Take me, Race, or no phone. You’ll have to tell him you failed him.”
Race pursed his lips. “Fine. But I don’t want you to make a scene. He’s proud of his record and reputation.”
“So am I. That’s why I have to go. Please wait for me. I’ll only be a minute.”
I brushed my teeth and tried to comb my hair, but there was blood matted in it. Alden’s blood. Ten twenty-eight. It took less than an hour to get there. I stepped in the shower to wash my hair. Alden’s blood turned the water pink. There was no time to cry.
I put on a pair of tan slacks and a cream-colored turtleneck. I pulled the chain and rose pendant to the outside of the shirt. Seeing it in the mirror made me feel stronger.
After throwing some makeup and Alden’s phone into my purse, I bolted down the stairs.
Race kept his eyes on the road and his thoughts to himself. I could tell he was unhappy with my decision to interfere, but at this point, I really didn’t care.
I couldn’t believe my bad luck. Construction on I-45 and a wreck on the mainland side of the causeway. Eleven fifty-five. I buried my face in my hands and prayed. No way I’d be on time.
A Protector named Paul met us in the opulent lobby of the Hotel Galvez and informed us that he’d been apprised of my arrival and that the hearing had already begun.
Paul was shorter than Race. He looked to be about seventeen or eighteen, tops. His brown hair was impeccably cut in a conservative style that matched his gray suit and blue tie. We followed Paul past the reservations desk, down a marble stairway to a dark hallway with a door at the end. There was a small desk outside the door with a security monitor on it.
“Please wait here while I tell them you have arrived,” Paul said.
The minute the door closed behind him, Race and I scrambled to the security monitor. It showed a narrow conference room dominated by a long wooden table so shiny it reflected the lights above it like a mirror. Alden sat in a chair at the end of the table. There were three people seated at the other end. Two men and a woman. All three were dressed in somber gray suits.
The woman spoke first. “Thank you for being punctual, Protector 438. You know why we are here, of course.”
“Of course,” Alden replied.
Race turned up the volume on the monitor. “That woman is a real hard-ass. She’s at all the hearings. She hasn’t been doing it long, though. This is only her second cycle at this post.”
The short balding man across from the woman cleared his throat before speaking. “Then I assume you have nothing to say in your defense.”
“I’ve never seen that Speaker before,” Race said.
“I did what I had to do,” Alden responded.
“You knowingly broke the code by entering the body of a human?” he asked.
Alden looked right into his eyes. “Yes, I did.”
The woman shifted in her chair. She looked uncomfortable. “Protector 438, did you know the penalty for breaking the code at the time of the infraction?”
“Of course I did.”
An old man sitting at the head of the table drummed his fingers and looked at Alden for the first time. He looked familiar to me, but I wasn’t sure why. I also wasn’t sure why Alden wasn’t defending himself. It was like he’d totally given up.
Well, I sure hadn’t.
“Whoa,” Race said. “That old dude is Speaker 14. I think he’s the most senior Speaker in the U.S. He’s in charge of the whole shebang down here in our region. The IC must think this is a really big deal for him to be here.”
The balding man at the old man’s right stopped making notes and addressed Alden. “Have you anything to say before we render judgment?”
Alden leaned forward. “I’d like it to go in the record that I took what I thought was the best course of action to protect the life of my Speaker. I do not regret my decision and would do it again if presented with the same set of circumstances.”
The old man furrowed his brow and studied Alden. Paul stepped forward from his post just inside the door. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but Speaker 102 is in the hallway demanding to address the Panel. She is extraordinarily agitated. I’ve never felt anything quite like it.”
Alden buried his face in his hands.
The old man spoke for the first time—his voice was familiar too. “How interesting. Please ask her to wait. We will hear her in fifteen minutes.”
Paul nodded and closed the door behind him.
Race and I jerked away from the monitor, but it was obvious we’d been eavesdropping. Paul stared at us and then at the monitor.
He cleared his throat. “I think it’s best we wait upstairs,” he said.
I fidgeted in a wicker love seat on the terrace of the hotel. Soft tones of jazz floated in from where a pianist and guitarist entertained guests in the entry foyer. I couldn’t find any paper, so I tried to finger the guitar chords along with the musicians. Paul paced up and down the corridor, which was lined with French windows. Light slanted through the glass, illuminating the pattern in the carpet, which resembled Persian rug inlays. Race had tossed back a few drinks at the bar and was leaning against the wall opposite me.
The hotel felt haunted. Race had told me it was built in defiance of the Great Storm of 1900. When another storm passed over the island in 1915, a huge party was thrown in the Hotel Galvez. People danced while the wind and rain howled. The citizens of Galveston had won, but the island never recovered completely from the Great Storm. Many of the shipping businesses moved inland
to the Port of Houston, but Galveston stood. The Hotel Galvez stood to prove it.
“Can you feel anything, Race?” I asked.
He sat next to me. “No. Your fear is blocking everything else out. The Speakers on the panel are really old and have practiced hiding their transmissions. Your rebirth, or whatever you’d call it, makes your signal pretty intense. You’re like a live wire. Keep cool, Lenzi. The young guy’s a Protector and you’re pretty transparent. Fear won’t get you anywhere. Fear is too basic to warrant merit. And, Lenzi, if I were you, I wouldn’t let on there is anything different about you. The shit’s hitting the fan, and your amnesia might not help.”
“Miss, they will see you now.” Paul gestured for me to come with him.
Race followed, but remained outside the door. I stopped in the doorway. Alden’s eyes met mine. There was no emotion in them, just hollow grayness. He stood and placed his USB drive on the table.
“I defer to the Speaker,” Alden said as he brushed by me.
The bald man stood. “Protector 438, you have not been dismissed.”
Alden took his cell phone from Race as he passed him outside the door of the conference room.
“We need to stop him,” the woman said.
The old man held up his hand. “No. Let him go. He won’t go far. He’s not running away from us. He’s running from her.”
All eyes turned to me.
THIRTY
“Please be seated, Speaker 102,” the old man said, gesturing to the place at the foot of the table, catching my eyes as if he were looking for something. Where did I know him from?
I slipped into the chair, running Race’s words through my head like a mantra. Fear is too basic to warrant merit. I stared at the heading on the sheet of paper on the table in front of me.
Discontinuance Hearing: Protector 436
Unlawful entrance of human vessel—
“What can we do for you today?” the balding man asked, before I could read further.
His casual question caused my anger to flare, trumping my fear. “You can let my Protector go.”