The Truth About Happily Ever After

  “… felt like she was never going to get better … so she goes, ‘Eventually I just had to get blackout drunk to rid myself of my sinus headache.’ What is wrong with that girl?”

  I bite my lip to keep from laughing. The girls are silly, sure, but largely harmless. They don’t do much to dispel sorority stereotypes, but they’re fun. And … I like being part of a group. My mom was in a sorority, so the concept was never mocked in my family when we were visiting colleges. I like walking down College Ave., in my Zeta gear, with sisters on either side of me, knowing I have a place where I belong.

  So I’m willing to work my ass off to have that place. In addition to picking up random weekend shifts at the park year-round, which involves some really early morning and late night drives to and from, I also work at a popular boutique near campus. I claim it’s for the experience in fashion, but really, I need the money. And I need the employee discount, which sometimes still isn’t enough. Sometimes I have to be supercareful, having left the tags on a top, knowing I’ll have to return it the next morning.

  I mean, I knew what dues would amount to, but I hadn’t counted on all the additional expenses—the T-shirts created for every last event, the spring break trips, the date parties that also required formal dresses. All the Vineyard Vines stuff. Gifts for my big. Gifts for my little. Everyone else was so lavish in their gifting. So I had to find a way.

  My Acura, the one that had been purchased for me in cash right before everything went south, was still mine when I left for college. My parents let me take it as a consolation price for not being able to even consider any out-of-state schools like I’d originally planned. After I rushed Zeta, I traded it in for a tiny used Honda, making up some lame excuse as to why. I needed money if I wanted to stay on par with my sisters, which I very, very much did.

  It’s so worth it. Having a place to call mine. Living in a house with white pillars and landscaping, a campus landmark. After losing the house I grew up in a few years prior and having to relocate to a rental, the Zeta house seemed so solid.

  Once we park and walk through the gates, needless to say, we get a lot of attention. It’s not just the crowns; we’d get a lot of attention, anyway. Back at Coral State, Zeta is known as the “blond” sorority, and also one of the best looking. There’s Blake, who passes for a Hollywood celebrity with her long, lustrous hair and regal stature. Lauryn “Y” is a future fitness model, and her body’s pretty much perfection. Caroline’s long cornsilk hair reaches her waist. And my “big” is just plain adorable. We giggle when we catch a few young dads crashing the strollers they’re pushing when we walk past.

  Lauren “E” tugs on my arm and makes us stop before the Diamond Palace, where another Cinderella, Kathryn, is ushering excited little girls inside for a show. Chrissi’s beside her, and she sneaks a subtle wave.

  “OMG, I can’t believe you do that all day,” Blake comments. “How do you possibly keep smiling like that?”

  “It’s Alyssa,” Lauryn “Y” chimes in. “She’s always smiling. I’m pretty sure she shits rainbows.”

  “Very funny,” I retort. Then I smile and clarify. “Actually, I shit sunshine.”

  “Ahh!” Caroline screams. “You’re a riot!”

  “So what’s on the agenda today?” Blake asks. “What’s first?”

  “We should go hit up all the big rides before it gets too crowded,” I answer. I smile secretively. “Then I have a special surprise for lunchtime.”

  “What is it?” Lauren “E” pesters.

  “All in due time,” I say. “All in due time.”

  As we leave the castle to head for the distant reaches of the park, I sneak a glance at the gatehouse. It’s not where Jake is working today, but he is in the park. He’s supposed to meet us later and hang out for a while. My stomach gives a little quiver of anticipation and worry. I hope Jake likes the girls and the girls like Jake. I want … I don’t know … the different puzzle pieces that make up my life to come together and fit the way they should.

  It’ll be fine, I remind myself. Jake is sweet enough and … Jake’s a guy. At his end, what’s not to like about four superhot blondes?

  I link arms with Lauren “E” and get to the business of making the most of the morning. Thanks to my automatic Line Jumper status, we hit all the most popular rides—Marauders’ Mountain, Freefallin’, and the Ice Slide—as well as several childhood favorites, like the zip line through the Forest and the hot-air balloons that take you over the walls of the Palace and into its courtyard.

  It’s the perfect ride to end on, because when I glance at my watch upon landing, I see that it’s twelve twenty. We’re right on time.

  I gesture toward the building. “So we should head inside,” I say, all nonchalant. “Our reservation for lunch is at twelve thirty.”

  Lauren “E” squeals. “We have a reservation to eat in the Palace?”

  “Of course.” I give a face like it’s no big thing.

  “But we just decided to come last week,” Caro chimes in. “Don’t you need to make reservations like six months in advance?”

  “Not when you’re a princess,” I inform her, crossing my arms in satisfaction.

  Blake gives me a hug. “You’re the best!”

  I shake my head. “Oh, it’s nothing.”

  In truth, cast members get only one free pass to dine at the Diamond Palace per season. It’s the one opportunity to request to dine there at the last minute, which is a huge deal. Caro was right about how far out you typically need to book a table. The practice of having a last-minute meal at the Palace is known among cast members as “crashing.”

  I decided to use my pass for my sisters. I know my being an Enchanted Princess gives me this sort of elevated status with the older girls in the sorority, which has a well-defined hierarchy in place. It seems only right to share this opportunity with them. I know they’ll be impressed. Everyone always is.

  The cavernous dining hall inside the Diamond Palace is divided into ten different pods, one belonging to each of the main fairy-tale characters that “live” within the park—Rose Red and Snow White, the Little Mermaid, the Ice Queen, the Frog Princess, Beauty, Aladdin’s Princess, the Twelve Dancing Princesses, the Swan Queen and, but of course, Cinderella. The decor in each is thematic—Cinderella’s pod is done up in crystal fixtures that sparkle like her glass slippers. Snow White’s pod is done up like a Germanic cottage. The Little Mermaid’s pod has floor-to-ceiling fish tanks for walls.

  The menu within each pod aligns with the theme. The French cuisine in Beauty’s section makes it a very popular choice. The extensive sushi offerings within the Little Mermaid’s pod tend to make it less appealing for the breakfast set.

  Then, atop one of the rear towers sits the dining pod for the eleventh princess, Rapunzel. It’s actually a rotating restaurant that spins you in a slow circle throughout the course of your meal. By the end of your meal, you’ve been provided the most breathtaking 360-degree views of the entire park.

  I got a table in the tower.

  We all sit in silent reverie for a few minutes, faces practically pressed against the glass, admiring the view. Last year, of course, I’d opted to eat in Cinderella’s pod with Jake before summer ended, the night he gave me the earrings, and so I’ve never been up in the tower. It’s beyond cool.

  “Oh my God!” Lauren “E” exclaims out of nowhere.

  “What?” Blake asks in alarm.

  “I totally forgot! Now I’m having flashbacks to when I was six years old and my parents took me to one of these rotating restaurants by Niagara Falls.” She puts her hand over her heart. “I put my stuffed unicorn next to the table, because I didn’t know that part of the building was moving. I cried the entire forty-five minutes until Majestique made her way back around.”

  Lauryn “Y” gives her a look as she sits down. “Well, we’ll all just have to remember to keep our stuffed animals away from the ledge,” she quips.

  I bite my lip, because Lauren “E” r
eally is too much sometimes. You’d never guess how high her IQ actually is (127), given her childlike nature … and her desire to fit in with a group, one other than her calculus study group, that is.

  Despite the creative menu, all four girls opt for the vegetarian option, a salad of mixed greens with citrus fruits, strawberries, and almonds. I do the same.

  Then once our server has collected our menus, Blake reapplies her lip gloss and raises one eyebrow. “So…?”

  “So?”

  “So when are we finally getting to meet Jakey boy?”

  “Couple more hours,” I promise. “His shift ends at three. Then he said he’d hang out.”

  “He better,” she says. “I mean, he’s sort of on my shit list for never making the effort to come down for homecoming or formal or anything.”

  My stomach tumbles again. Make a good impression, Jake.

  “Oh, don’t be too hard on him. He had a huge test the Monday after formal.” I shrug. “And he just doesn’t get it. The Greek scene isn’t really a big deal at his school. It’s not like he’s in a fraternity himself or anything.”

  Caro suddenly grasps my wrist. “Oh my God. Speaking of…” She reaches into her purse, fishes around for her wallet, and pulls out a small plastic rectangle, which she waves before me with a flourish. “Ta-da! One superauthentic-looking fake ID for yours truly.”

  I take it and study it. “This does look pretty good. Much better than that last one.”

  Lauryn “Y” grins. “Because this one actually has a picture of you, not that random sister with the faint resemblance who graduated in 1989. Her feathered bangs totally gave it away.”

  I giggle.

  “We got ours in the nick of time,” Caro says. “You know Jamie who made these? In Sigma Nu? Cops confiscated his laptop and everything. He’s officially out of business.”

  I tuck my brand-new ID away. “Well, only eight months till February. Then I won’t need a fake one anymore. But who’s counting?”

  Our salads arrive, and we take our time eating so that the restaurant can turn a full circle before we’re done. We take a lazy riverboat ride around the circumference of the park, then check out one of the newer roller coasters.

  When it’s almost time to head back to the Palace, Lauren “E” catches sight of a kiosk and points. “I am so getting a Dragon’s Kiss.”

  The Dragon’s Kiss is a popular, maybe even iconic, park treat. It’s got this yummy tart-flavored fro-yo, covered with dragon fruit salsa and cinnamon chips.

  “OMG, I can’t even!” Lauryn “Y,” our resident health guru, practically screams. “Do you even know all the artificial crap that’s in there? They try to peddle it as a healthy alternative, but I read this blog post about how it’s actually worse for you than Ben & Jerry’s.”

  Lauren “E” considers for a split second and then shrugs. “Whatev. I’m getting a Dragon’s Kiss.”

  She expends so much energy, she hardly has to worry about the calories.

  I skip the line with Lauryn “Y” and Blake, happy to have company. Caroline goes with Lauren “E,” but when they sit down on a bench to eat, first she scoops out all the cinnamon chips and then she eats only four bites of hers before tossing it in a nearby Dragon-shaped trash can. I’m sorry about the waste of seven dollars. And such a delicious treat.

  Not that I could enjoy it right now, anyway. I glance at my watch. It’s almost time.

  “Umm, guys, we should probably head toward the gatehouse,” I say, butterflies making tight loops in my stomach. “Jake said to just meet him right outside when he’s done.”

  As we walk, I cross and uncross my fingers quickly. Let this go well. I nod to bolster myself. This will go well.

  We’re just going to be riding some rides together. It’s not like it’s an interview or anything.

  As we approach the bridge, I see that Jake is already there, waiting for us exactly as I’ve arranged, looking almost nervous as he leans against a wrought-iron gate. I feel my shoulders relax. I mean, beneath the nerves, I’m proud and excited to finally introduce him to my sisters.

  Once I point him out, before I can give any type of appropriate introduction, the girls are all over him like bees to honey, shouting his name and doling out hugs like they’ve known him forever. He instantly looks overwhelmed in the presence of five sorority girls, and the look on his face screams, “Help me!”

  “Jake, we’ve been dying to meet you,” Blake gushes.

  “Alyssa has told us, like, everything.” Lauren “E” nods. “But you’re even cuter than your pictures. Like seriously hot.” She tugs on the arm of his corny park uniform. “Even in this getup. Still hot.”

  Caroline glances down at his kit. “And you’re, like, a doctor here? Stop! OMG! Stop!”

  “Stop what?” Jake asks innocently.

  I bite my lip and whisper into his ear. “It’s okay. You just don’t speak sorority.”

  “Thank God for that,” he whispers back with a smile.

  He looks around at the circle of girls. “It looks like you’re having a good day,” he assesses. “Nice crowns.” He puts one arm around me and squeezes my shoulder. “It’s good to see Alyssa having fun. I know how much you guys mean to her.”

  “Bless your heart,” Caro swoons. “You’re sweet, too.”

  “How are you not a prince?” Lauren persists.

  All Jake manages is a tight little chuckle at their overzealous flirting.

  I watch them … tentatively relieved. I mean, they’re getting on … okay.

  Blake steps forward and links an arm through Jake’s. “So you’re coming with us now, right? What ride should we do next?”

  Jake takes a step back. “Umm … actually…” He turns toward me, expression apologetic. “Someone called out sick, and the two people they have on hand haven’t gotten official approval to work alone. So it turns out … I’m not off duty quite yet.” He watches my face, worried about how I’ll react. “I’m sorry.”

  I’m annoyed at once.

  The girls already think he’s made less than zero effort to come down to campus events. I’ve always stood up for him, given he’s been hundreds of miles away. But now he’s in the right state and he still can’t seem to be there.

  I conceal a deep breath. I don’t want my four sisters seeing me get rattled; I don’t want to turn this into an argument with an audience.

  I force a smile instead. “You might be the most devoted park employee. They should give you a raise.” I manage a laugh, try to put a positive spin on his letting me down. “You’re going to miss out on a great night, though! I mean, five dates in one!”

  He looks back toward my friends. “I really do apologize, ladies. It would be much more fun to clock out right now.”

  Then Jake goes out of his way to give each of them a quick hug, which I know they like, and gives me a kiss and a final apology before ducking back inside the gatehouse. I can’t help but think he looks a little relieved to escape their clutches.

  Lauryn “Y” stares at his back. “I guess I’ll forgive him,” she says begrudgingly. She chews on her lips “Because he really is effing hot, Alyssa.”

  “What’s his family background?” Blake asks.

  In her world, it’s as normal a question as any.

  “They’re from Connecticut,” I say. “His dad has a law practice, and his mom runs this really cool, boho-chic interior design firm.”

  “Bling bling.” Blake smiles. “So when he puts a ring on it it’s gonna be good, isn’t it?” She poses her questions like she’s merely confirming the details about a sure thing.

  Because that’s how I’ve always talked about Jake. Like a sure thing. Jake had felt like happily ever after from the moment we’d met.

  But marriage … it’s not really something we’d planned together, per se. Talking about it puts a yucky feeling in my stomach.

  “I’m sure!” I finally answer. I smile brightly. “So … more rides?”

  “Actually…,” Bla
ke responds slowly. She’s staring into the distance and I can see the wheels turning. “We’ve already managed to get on most of the good ones, and if Jake is bailing…”

  I try not to react to her negative spin on his unexpected absence. “What are you thinking?”

  She gives me a slow, lazy smile, her eyes narrowed. “Are there any bars around here that are lenient enough to test out that new ID of yours? Maybe … happy hour?”

  “Yes!” Lauren “E” exclaims. “Let’s do happy hour!” She turns toward me with wide, hopeful eyes.

  I pause. It’s certainly not how I saw the night unfolding, but … I take a quick side glance toward the gatehouse. Guess there’s no sense in sticking around, and if it’s what they all want to do …

  “Actually, I know the perfect spot,” I tell them.

  * * *

  BACK AT LAKESIDE, I direct Blake to a parking spot along the block that houses El Barrio. It’s a great outdoor gathering spot, designed with the Southwest in mind, complete with giant live cacti, broken clay pots, and a dilapidated fence running around its exterior. There’s always live music, outdoor beer pong, and a two-margarita limit that no one enforces.

  They don’t really enforce IDs, either. If the person at the door knows you’re a cast member, they usually don’t even ask.

  The back patio is already bumping when we walk up, still wearing our tiaras, and I see Miller sitting at the outdoor bar with Yael, having a beer. They’re chatting, and she’s actually laughing. And smiling. Wow.

  When he glances up, I wave to him. He gets up at once and heads over when he sees me, mug of cerveza still in hand. And suddenly Yael’s face returns to its normal resting position. Which would be disgruntled.

  “Wow, a whole lot of blonde just came up in here!” Miller exclaims when he approaches. He puts his arm around my shoulders, smiling in a way that lets me know he’s already had a few. “Holy shit—they cloned you!”

  I roll my eyes at him. “These are my sorority sisters. Ladies, this is Miller.” Then I point and introduce. “Miller, Blake, Caro, Lauren ‘E,’ and Lauryn ‘Y.’”

  “So if I just stick with Lauren, I have a fifty percent shot of getting it right?”