Lost Desires

  Chapter 5

  It had been a few days since our last meeting with John, but I could see differences already. I couldn’t believe that after years of living in the rut we’d fallen into, it had taken only a few simple meetings with this man to change things for the better. Ian had started to come home every single night and gave me not just a peck on the cheek or lips but a full-out passionate kiss. Almost too passionate, since sometimes it was in front of the kids, but compared to the man who didn’t even touch me when he got home, I would take it.

  Saturday morning, I rolled over in bed to find that I was alone. Ian was never out of bed before me on the weekends. The kids always had me up at the crack of dawn, which was painfully early during the summer, so I was surprised. Looking over at the curtains, there was sun blasting behind them. That couldn’t be right. Rolling over, I looked at my alarm clock to find that it was nine in the morning. I quickly jumped out of bed and grabbed my robe, tying it over my cotton pajamas as I walked out of our room. Following noises, I wound up in the kitchen. I peeked around the corner expecting to find the children getting into everything they could reach; however, I was surprised to find Ian had both of them sitting on the kitchen island, helping him add ingredients to a bowl.

  “Oh no, Daddy. She’s up,” my daughter squealed in surprise when she noticed me, covering her face with her tiny hands like that would hide her. Ian slowly turned around with a wide smile on his face.

  “Well, good morning, beautiful. You weren’t supposed to get up yet.” He walked over to plant a kiss on my cheek before returning to the kids. He lowered his voice to a loud whisper. “I guess we didn’t get going fast enough. Next time, we will surprise her.”

  “Okay!” My son yelled before jumping off the counter and running from the room, his sister not far behind.

  “What’s all this?” I asked, walking up behind him to link my hands around his waist.

  “We were making you breakfast in bed, but you got up too early.” Ian set the bowl down and turned in my arms so he was facing me. “You ruined our surprise.”

  “I slept in more today than I have in quite a while. That alone is a big enough treat for me. Now I can cook and help keep the beasts wrangled.” I laughed as the children came racing through the kitchen, giggling and running out the opposite door.

  “Nope. No way. You sit. Relax. I’m making you breakfast, and you aren’t allowed to lift one finger.” Ian leaned in to give me a soft, slow kiss before tugging my hands from around him and playfully patting my ass to tell me to get on my way.

  I walked to the doorway but turned to watch him as he made his way around the kitchen, slowly but surely finding what he needed. He hadn’t cooked me breakfast in…well, I don’t know that in all our years together he ever had. A smile slipped onto my face without my even thinking about it. It was a great surprise from the man I loved. Apparently, while our love life got better, the rest of our life was getting better as well. What an unexpected, pleasant side effect.

  I recruited the kids to help me fold a load of laundry while Ian cooked so they’d stay out of his way. As we were putting it up, he called to let us know that breakfast was ready. Upon returning to the kitchen, I found pancakes, fresh cut strawberries, and a side of bacon on a plate for each of us. My eyebrows flew upwards when I noticed there was even glasses, or cups for the little ones, of orange juice as well. “Wow. Very well done, Daddy.”

  “No, babe.” Ian handed the kids their plates so they’d run off to the table. As soon as they were out of the room, he fiercely grabbed my hips and pulled me hard against his body. Running his tongue along the outer edge of my ear, he whispered, “I’m Ian or honey. If you want me to fuck you good and hard later tonight, don’t call me daddy.”

  “Oh, okay.” Instantly, my body reacted to the hunger radiating off him and the fact that I could feel him growing hard against my leg. His hands slid over my hips to grab onto my ass, pulling me harder against him as he dipped his head to kiss the tender skin on the side of my neck.

  “Mommy? Daddy? What are you doing?” Our daughter asked from the doorway, bringing the world crashing back down around us. Ian stepped back from me, giving me a devilish grin before bending down to hand our daughter the two cups of juice.

  “Mommy and I were just talking and loving each other the way mommies and daddies do. Take these to the table. We will be right in.” Ian ruffled her hair, and she skipped out of the room. He stood and looked at me. “Let’s go, sexy, before we start something we don’t have time to finish right now.”

  I nodded unsure of how to respond. Being speechless was a rare thing for me. It felt like I’d stepped into an alternate reality. Ian didn’t touch me like that. He didn’t cook breakfast. Or handle the kids when they ran into a room. It was always me handling those things or seeking his attention.

  It was then that I remembered the advice John had given me each time we had met. I didn’t know what he’d been sharing with Ian through text messages or phone calls or when I wasn’t right there. The change had to have something to do with John. It was the only explanation for all the changes happening. That or Ian was cheating…which I wouldn’t accept. Not when we were working to fix what was wrong in our marriage.

  Shortly after breakfast, Ian left to play a round of golf with his buddies. Since it was summer, they normally went early, but Ian had asked them to delay it so he could make me breakfast.

  Hours later, he came in the door and immediately pulled me out of my chair to hold me tight and plant a firm kiss on my lips. When he pulled back, he smiled. “I’ve been waiting to do that since I left. I missed you, but I did have a good round of golf.”

  “Well, that’s great. I missed you too. The kids are sleeping right now, so I’m just trying to keep it quiet for a little bit longer.” I smiled and pulled back from him. “Why don’t you go take a shower and watch some TV or something?”

  “Are you going to join me?” Ian wiggled his eyebrows at me.

  “Get out of here. No!” I laughed, even though I was trying to appear serious. He grabbed my hand when I moved to sit back down, yanking me to his body again.

  “I’m serious. Let’s go have a quickie in the shower before the kids get up.” Ian started nibbling on my neck, making it hard to refuse him. “Hurry, let’s go.”

  Ian grabbed my hand and tugged me down the hallway to our room and then to the bathroom. He shut the door before quickly taking off all of his clothes and helping me out of mine. Once the water was on so it could heat up, he turned to me, pulling me close again to press his lips against mine.

  “Come, my sexy wife. Let’s make love,” Ian murmured between kisses, pulling me into the shower with him. Once we were both under the water, Ian slipped his hand into my hair and tugged me to him so he could softly kiss me, while slipping a knee between my thighs. His large erection pressed against my stomach as he separated from me to duck his head, sucking one of my nipples into his mouth. Moaning, I threaded my fingers into his hair, holding him to my breast. After a moment, he kissed his way from one breast to the other, lavishing my other nipple with the same attention and teasing.

  One of his hands slipped down my water-slicked skin until it came in contact with my pussy. He used his fingers to separate my lips slightly then circled my clit with his middle finger while still teasing my nipple with his mouth.

  “Oh, Ian! That feels so good,” I moaned, leaning my head back as his other arm wrapped around my waist, holding me.

  “Oh yeah, baby. You feel so good,” Ian murmured, barely pulling his mouth from my breast. When he started to drop to his knees, I snapped my head forward and locked eyes with him.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, surprised. Ian had never gone down on me before or since the one time in the hotel room with John there.

  “I’m going to taste my wife’s delicious, pretty pussy-if that’s okay with you.” A small smile came over his face as he continued to watch me, waiting for an answer.

  “Um, yeah. Ye
ah, okay.” I fumbled with words, trying to answer him. He leaned forward and gently nudged the front of my pussy with his nose before wiggling it back and forth.

  “I love the way your pussy smells.” I barely heard his words before I felt the soft warmth of his tongue sliding between my pussy lips. I instantly separated my legs more, giving him more room. “Hm. Yeah, you liked that. Didn’t you, baby?”

  I tried to smile, but Ian moved back in and had his face pressed between my thighs again. Expecting his tongue, I jumped when I felt his fingers slide through my gathering juices. He easily found what he was looking for and plunged two fingers deep into my pussy while sucking on my clit making it hard for me to stay standing. My fingers gripped the back of Ian’s head while he continued to pleasure me with his mouth and hand. It didn’t take long before I was flying off the cliff of ecstasy into paradise. Ian held my hips with his hands, helping me stay upright while softly licking away my release.

  “Mmm. Heaven right there,” Ian said, standing and leaning in, planting his lips on mine, sharing my taste with me. His tongue slid into my mouth to tangle with mine as he lifted one of my legs in his hand. Pulling back slightly from me, he looked down to help guide himself into me. My head instantly fell against the tile as my eyes rolled back in my head at the quick, deep thrust that had Ian fully seated in me.

  “Oh, Ian!” I moaned as he picked up a steady pace, sliding in and out of me while nibbling on my neck. His free hand squeezed my ass as he gathered speed. Both of us moaned as the pleasure was building within our bodies. “That feels so good.” I held on tightly to Ian’s shoulders. This was as close as we would get to Ian picking me up, but it still felt insanely good. I reached up and cupped Ian’s face with both my hands, making him lock eyes with me as a few more thrusts had me tightening around him. I fought the desire to close my eyes and kept them locked with his throughout my orgasm. Ian did the same when he followed me shortly after. Watching the complete and utter release and pleasure that washed over his face while he emptied inside my body was almost as sexy as the act itself.

  We both stood in the shower, letting the water rain down around us, washing away the evidence of our lovemaking as we continued to hold on to each other. Ian was the first to break the silence. A smug smile on his face, he said, “You know, I thought this whole therapist thing was going to be utterly ridiculous. Turns out, I love it. I look forward to each meeting and each piece of advice he shares. Not to mention the amazing sex we always seem to have during the sessions...and quite possibly the fact that we have more than doubled our sexy time since we started seeing John.”

  “Yes, I would agree. Things have gotten much better, and it’s only been a short amount of time. I think I need to take Tara out to tell her thank you for giving me the recommendation.” I smiled but groaned when I felt the loss of him as he pulled from my body.

  “Mom?” My son’s voice broke through the post-sex haze I’d been enjoying. Inwardly, I screamed at the interruption. Outwardly, I called out to see what he wanted. He replied, “Just wanted to see where you were.”

  “Daddy and I were just taking a quick shower. Go sit on the couch and read a book. I’ll be right there.” I slapped Ian’s chest playfully when he shook his head at my excuse.

  “Okay.” I could hear the sound of his small feet on the tile as he made his way back out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

  “Quick shower. Hm? More like a quickie.” Ian smiled and stepped toward me till my back was pressed against the wall.

  “Ian! Shh!” I tried to scold but laughed instead. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I tilted my head so I could press my lips against his. “I would never say something like that to the kids. Could you imagine if they repeated it to your mother?”

  “Okay, okay. That would be embarrassing.” Ian kissed me again, briefly sliding his tongue against mine. “We will finish this tonight.”

  I got out of the shower and dried off. Putting on the clothes that I had been wearing before, I watched Ian with a small smile on my face. This was the best our marriage had been in years. I had everything I could possibly want, a man who loved me, a man who found me attractive even though I had changed from the woman he’d married years ago. Two beautiful, healthy children that drove me crazy. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  We had already arranged one more meeting with John, and I was assuming it’d be our last, as all of my issues had already been fixed and addressed. That is, unless Ian had something he’d wanted John to help with that I didn’t know about.

  Chapter 6

  The entire week passed much the same as the weekend had gone. Ian was incredibly attentive, helping with the children, household chores, and at night, when we laid down, he always made love to me. I couldn’t help but think there was something missing because he would say he didn’t think it was the last session we needed with John. Even though things had gotten a lot better for me, there was still things to work on. I guess I had asked for it since I had been the one to seek help for sexual problems I was having. It was only fair that we also addressed any issues Ian had while we were at it.

  When Thursday rolled around, we were once again meeting John in a hotel room. This time however, Ian was to go up first and I was to come up twenty minutes later. I found it odd since normally I had private chats with John before Ian was involved but went with it. I sat in the lobby drinking the coffee I had picked up from the café. It felt like forever before my phone finally buzzed letting me know that twenty minutes had passed. I was incredibly anxious and jittery- could be thanks to the coffee or possibly, and more likely, because I didn’t know what to expect -as I made my way to the elevator and to the same room we’d been in the last time we’d met with John.

  Knocking once, softly, I held my breath in anticipation. John opened the door wearing a pair of dress pants and a button-down dress shirt that was rolled up to his elbows. He bowed his head and said, “Please, come in.”

  “Thank you.” I murmured and looked around, trying to figure out what was going to happen before it played out. John let the door click closed behind me.

  “Tonight, Brit, we are going to try something new. Something most likely a bit out of your comfort zone,” John said as he stepped in front of me, placing his large, warm hands on my shoulders. I couldn’t help but let my eyes widen fractionally at that statement. It wasn’t what I had planned on. What on earth did Ian want from me? Could I go through with it? John squeezed my shoulder gently then relaxed his grip. “It’s not nearly anything as bad as what you are thinking. I promise.”

  “I doubt it.” I bit down on my lip as I dropped my gaze to the center of John’s chest. I didn’t want to say what I was thinking, let alone do it to my husband. One of John’s hands slipped down my arm to grip my hand before he pulled me to the couch in the seating area.

  “Please, sit. I’d like to talk to you about this before we go any further based on your reaction,” John said as he sat down on the couch, tugging my hand making me sit. I looked around, but still I didn’t see my husband. I saw the empty bed that looked slightly tousled but nothing else.

  “Where is Ian?” I couldn’t help but ask the question that was bothering me most at the moment.

  “He is in another room. He figured there would be issues with this, which is what I am here for,” John answered.

  “What does he want me to do that is so bad? Or different or whatever?” I couldn’t stop my mind from going on a crazy tangent thinking about all the different sexual acts out there that we had never tried.

  “He wants you to attempt to play with his perineum and possibly a little anal play.” John’s voice was calm, like he’d said nothing out of the ordinary. This was not ordinary to me. Men didn’t do that in my life. Men didn’t want people to play anywhere near their backdoors, not in my world. Hell, we barely played near MY backdoor, and I was on the receiving end. I didn’t know how comfortable I was with even the idea of it, let alone the actual process of doing it. Bef
ore I could gather myself enough to make a verbal response to John, he said, “I just want to point out Ian has been more than willing to try out anything sexual that you wanted. I must tell you, he wasn’t always as comfortable with everything as he ended up coming off as, but for you, he was willing to put on a brave front and give it his all. Look at how well it all worked out. However, you can, at any time, say you aren’t willing and we can stop.”

  I looked at the ceiling and ground my teeth together for a moment before nodding my head slightly. “He was willing to try things he was uncomfortable with for me. I will try this. I can’t say I’ll be okay with it, but I will try it…as long as you help me through it.”

  “Absolutely. I’ll be here every step of the way.” John gave me a comforting smile as he squeezed my hands. He offered a few quick tips and pointers about the perineum before standing and helping me onto my shaking legs. “Let’s go find Ian.”

  I nodded slightly and followed behind John as he led me not out the door to the hallway as I’d expected, but to a door connected to the room beside the one we were in. He knocked once before pulling open the door. Once we were inside the room, I quickly glanced around. It looked just like most other hotel rooms, but I found extreme comfort finding my husband lying on the bed with his arms bent behind his head. A beautiful smile spread across his face when he saw me enter, which in turn made me grin. He was wearing only a pair of boxers and even though I had seen him in this exact same position many times at home, there was something about being in a hotel room that made is so much sexier. Biting my lip, I let my gaze roam over him as his did the same to me.

  “Normally, I like to blindfold one of you when we are exploring a new sensation or experience, but I think for both of you it is more important to see each other and the pleasure you are giving or receiving,” John said, breaking through me sexing up my husband from across the room. “Go get on the bed with him. Start kissing. Do what you two normally do to get each other hot.”