Tainted Bodies
“Kate? What’s going on?” Derrick got up from the couch and ran into the kitchen as Kate shrieked and opened the microwave, a cloud of smoke billowing against her face. Derrick quickly grabbed a towel hanging from the over door and swatted the smoke out the open kitchen window until the smoke alarm finally stopped screeching at them. Kate stood there frozen, holding the burnt and shriveled bag of popcorn. Derrick turned to look at her and burst into laughter at the sight of her face, dusty with smoke and bewildered.
“It’s not funny,” she whined, grabbing a towel to wipe her face. She was pouting and trying to stop herself from crying out of embarrassment.
“Oh yes it is, klutzy” Derrick chuckled as he walked over to her and pulled her into his arms.
She rolled her eyes at him again as she always did, but he grinned and kissed her, so there was no way she could stay mad. She plopped the bag down on the counter next to her and wrapped her arms around Derrick’s neck as she stood on her toes to kiss him back. He gave her a peck on the lips and then pulled apart.
“Come on, we don’t need any popcorn. Let’s just go watch the movie.” He grabbed her hand and led her out of the kitchen. He was only wearing jeans since she was still wearing his shirt and she couldn’t help enjoying the view of his abs and even his muscled back as she followed him. The two plopped down onto the couch and he picked up the remote, turning on the movie. He put his arm on the top of the couch around her shoulders and she snuggled in to be curled up against him as they settled in to watch the movie.
~~~~
Derrick was softly stroking Kate’s hair as she slept still curled up against him on the couch. She had fallen asleep during the movie and was oblivious to the fact that the movie had ended about five minutes ago. Derrick thought she looked so sweet while she was sleeping that he hadn’t woken her up yet. He moved a bit on the couch to get a bit more comfortable but the movement roused her, causing her to open her eyes slowly and take in her surroundings. She looked up at him and realized that he was wide awake and watching her sleep. She blushed and sat up, stretching her arms and yawning.
“What are you looking at?” she asked, softly, turning to face him and draping her legs over his, leaning her head against his shoulder and looking up at his face.
“The woman I’m in love with.” Derrick replied, quietly, searching her face for how she would respond to his statement.
Her eyes widened in surprise as she wondered if she heard him right. She looked up at him, a look of surprise and confusion still on her face. He pulled her closer to him and caressed her cheek.
“Kate, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. You make me laugh harder than I ever have, you make me excited to go to work because I know I will see you on the way. When I kiss you, I feel this rush, this intense heat- I’ve never felt anything like it before.
I go to sleep thinking about your goofy smile and I wake up dreaming of how perfectly you fit in my arms. There is not a doubt in my mind that I am one hundred percent, head over heels in love with your clumsy butt.” He smiled at her, leaning down and kissing her forehead.
Kate was overwhelmed at his words, but knew that every fiber of her being felt the same way. She laughed at his mention of her clumsiness and blushed a deep red.
She knew that it had only been a month and that she was probably crazy for feeling this way already, but she couldn’t help it. They had spent almost every day together and it had been wonderful. She pushed all the thoughts of doubt out of her head and reached up and kissed him softly on the lips, unable to contain her smile.
“I love you, too.” She whispered to him. He smiled, relieved that she felt the same way he did. He eagerly returned her kiss and pulled her as tight against him as he could manage.
“Come on, you’re tired, babe.” He said, lifting her up with one arm below her knees and the other around her back. He walked to the bedroom with her in his arms, leaning her head against his shoulder. They went to bed and curled up in the sheets together. She stretched out on her side with her arms wrapped around her pillow. He laid behind her, pressed against her with one arm draped over her hips. The two fell asleep quickly and happily, spending their first night together so naturally as if they had been together a million times before.
~~~~
The next few weeks went by in a whirlwind and Kate knew that when she told Derrick she loved him, it couldn’t have been more true. The two saw each other almost every day and whenever they were apart, all Kate could think about is when she would next see Derrick. On this particular evening, Derrick and Kate were getting dressed up and heading to Derrick’s friend’s wedding at a ritzy hotel downtown.
Kate was finally ready about five minutes before Derrick had told her he would pick her up. She had found a blush pink ruffled dress in the back of her closet that she hadn’t worn in quite some time. It had spaghetti straps over her shoulders, crossed in the back and fell to right below her knees. She had matched it with nude colored high heels with a rounded toe and a silver, sparkling clutch that she had already stored her phone and house keys in. She was putting another thin layer of lipstick on when she heard her door buzzer. She rushed over and pressed the intercom button.
“Coming!” She sung into the intercom as she threw her lipstick into her clutch and checked her hair in the mirror one last time. She quickly headed out the door and locked up behind her, rushing down the stairs to meet him. As she came waltzing out the front door, she stopped when she saw Derrick. He was dressed in a tuxedo and she could not stop herself from gaping at him. She saw him in suits all the time as he went to work, but in a tuxedo he practically looked like royalty. With his height and broad shoulders, he commanded the attention of everyone around him even on the sidewalk in front of her apartment building.
Kate smiled at him as she walked down her front steps to reach him, while he couldn’t help but admire her as well.
“Kate, you look stunning. Absolutely beautiful. I am just blown away.” He said, grinning at her as she walked into his arms and he leaned down to kiss her.
“You’re not too shabby yourself, handsome.” She told him, kissing him back eagerly. Her arms snaked around his neck and hugged him tight. His arms slipped around her back and lifted her up, bringing her feet up off the ground.
“Come on¸ lets get a taxi before we end up back upstairs.” He winked at her as he placed her back on the ground and she playfully smacked his arm at his insinuation. He stepped to the side of the street and lifted his hand to hail a taxi. A moment or two later, a yellow cab pulled up next to them and the couple quickly climbed in. Derrick gave directions to the driver and then leaned back and wrapped his arm around Kate on the back of the seat. She relaxed into his side for the drive.
“So, I’m going to meet a lot of your friends today, huh?” Kate said, glancing up at him curiously. He just nodded.
“Kind of a big step, don’t you think?” Kate asked him, trying to get a response. He looked down at her with a confused look.
“What do you mean?” He said. Kate shrugged.
“I mean we haven’t really ever shared our relationship with other people, we are just always alone together. We haven’t even talked about what we are.” She said, awkwardly trying to broach the concept of whether or not they were in a relationship. They hadn’t talked about it before and Kate was dying to place a label on the two of them which she knew sounded silly, but she loved this man and she knew he loved her so why couldn’t they make things official?
“Why do we have to confine who we are to any specific box or label?” Derrick said, looking a bit irritated.
“I don’t know, I mean we say we love each other so why not make it monogamous and official?” Kate said quietly, not enjoying where this conversation was going.
“Well, see, you just said it. We love each other. Why do we need any more than that?” Derrick responded, slightly pulling away from her, clearly uncomfortable with this conversation.
Kate sensed that she had reach
ed the limit of where their conversation would go so she just nodded her head and stayed quiet. The rest of the taxi ride was silent and things continued to seem a bit awkward between the two of them. They pulled up to the venue after awhile and slid out of the taxi, heading into the party still in silence.
When they walked in, several people greeted Derrick immediately and Kate stood behind him, waiting to be introduced, as he shook hands and hugged several different men and women who had come up to them. Derrick finally turned around and pulled Kate up to meet his friends.
“This is my friend, Kate Jackson. Kate, this is Anthony, Julian, and Mark with his gorgeous wife, Cindy.” The four people in front of them all greeted Kate and gave her a hug.
“That is a lovely dress, Kate.” Cindy complimented her, giving her a hug.
“Thank you!” Kate smiled at them and shook the men’s hands. She kept the smile plastered on her face even though she wasn’t feeling that way at all after hearing Derrick introduce her as his friend. She couldn’t believe that that was all she was to him and she was working hard to push the tears and frustration down so as to not create a scene.
“Come on, guys, let’s take our seats.” Anthony told the group as he motioned for everyone to head into the wedding. The ceremony was starting soon so Kate took a deep breath and followed them.
Luckily the evening was so packed with activities that Kate was able to forget her earlier annoyances. About two hours later, the couple was on the dance floor enjoying the music and celebrations.
“Come on.” Derrick said, grinning down at Kate as he took her hand and led her off the dance floor. They headed out one of the ballroom side doors to the large balcony that spanned the entire length of the room and overlooked the city streets and had an amazing view of the Capital. There were string lights out on the balcony leaving it just bright enough to see, but dark enough to create a very romantic atmosphere. Derrick pulled her close to him and kissed her gently, smiling. He wrapped one arm around her waist and joined his other hand with hers and they started slow dancing on the balcony, alone together only hearing the music at a distance.
Kate leaned her head against his chest enjoying the moment together and the romance of the scenery around them. The frustrations of earlier had been forgotten for the time being as they had been enjoying the festivities. She truly had enjoyed getting to know his friends and weddings were always romantic.
“Kate, I am sorry about earlier.” Derrick said quietly. She didn’t respond, but just nodded her head slightly against his chest. He was silent for a bit longer as the two swayed together, slowly dancing.
“I just don’t think I am ready for that kind of discussion yet.” He said to her, looking down at her to see how she would respond. Kate was definitely disappointed but she appreciated his initiative in bringing it up and being honest with her.
“Does that mean you don’t want to be together anymore?” Kate asked sullenly, pulling a bit away from him as she looked up into his eyes.
“What?! Not even a little. Kate, I love you. You know I love you. I want you in my life. That’s the whole story.” He pulled her up against him tightly and hugged her, kissing her forehead. He felt shocked that she would even think that so he knew that he needed to show her how much he cared about her.
He found her mouth and wrapped her up in a deep kiss. Kate felt relief rush through her body at his response. She smiled and wrapped her arms around him. She wasn’t entirely satisfied with not having an answer to her relationship question, but she knew that she could be okay with it for now. He loved her and that was what mattered the most.
CHAPTER FIVE
“Kate, it’s been like four months or something like that! There is no good reason why you won’t let me meet him yet!” Annie whined as she cut up pieces of tofu and placed them on a sheet pan. She was visiting Kate for the weekend and cooking them dinner.
Annie was a die-hard vegetarian and loved to experiment with new ways to make meat-free meals. Kate disliked most of them, but tolerated the nuisance since she only had to try it once a month to please her sister during her visits.
“It’s not like I’m hiding him from you. I tell you all about him all the time, but it’s not been a very long time since we started dating. I don’t want to rush it, or scare him off.” Kate argued, watching her sister drip maple syrup on the tofu as Kate enjoyed a glass of chardonnay at the kitchen table.
“You think I’m going to scare him off? Jeez, how little you think of me.” Annie pouted, jokingly.
“Oh please, it’s not that, Annie. I don’t know, he just seems jittery sometimes about commitment issues.”
“What do you mean? Why would you think that?” Annie asked.
“Well it’s been four months and we haven’t talked about being exclusive. I brought it up once, but he was pretty clear that he didn’t want to label anything. He said he just wanted to live in the moment. But he has said many times that he is in love with me, so I don’t really understand why he doesn’t want to make something official.” Kate took another sip of wine as her brow furrowed in frustration.
“Do you think he is scared? Maybe some ex-girlfriend ruined him for all future women?” Annie asked teasing her sister, now topping the maple syrup covered tofu with crushed almonds and walnuts.
“Oh, don’t be dramatic, Annie.” Kate laughed, “I doubt it is that simple. But I do know that his past girlfriend did cheat on him. I’m guessing that that really hurt him, but he doesn’t like to talk about it so I don’t bring it up. I only know that much because I had to practically pull it out of him and even that is the full extent of the details I got.”
“I bet he is afraid of how much more there is to lose if you officially put yourself out there. If you ever cheated on him like his ex-girlfriend, it would be like ripping off that band-aid and devastating him all over again. As long as there is no title or exclusivity, then cheating isn’t technically possible.” Annie pondered, placing the pan of tofu into the oven.
“I would never cheat on him, I’m not like that.” Kate scoffed.
“I know that, but he doesn’t.” Annie fired back.
“Well, he knows me pretty well and I think he knows I would never cheat on him. And he knows how much I love him too.” Kate responded.
“Yeah, but I bet he thought he knew that about his ex-girlfriend too. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. He doesn’t want the shame on me part, can you blame him?” Annie grabbed Kate’s glass of wine off the table and chugged the remaining liquid.
“Hey! Get your own wine, you mooch!” Kate laughed as she snatched her empty glass back from her sister.
Annie made a pouting face and then sulked over to the cabinet to get her own wine glass. Kate picked up the bottle and poured her sister a glass, then refilled her own glass. The two sisters walked out onto the balcony off the living room while waiting for their dinner to finish cooking.
“You know this next week is the anniversary of Dad’s death.” Annie said quietly, interrupting the peaceful silence that had settled between the sisters as they lounged on the patio furniture overlooking the beautiful view of Washington, DC. Kate was a bit thrown off by such a dramatic switch in conversation topics but she had known that is would probably come up during this visit. Kate didn’t respond at first, looking down as her cat, Boo, who had just jumped into her lap and settled in for a nap. After a few moments, Kate cleared her throat and responded to her sister,
“Yeah, I noticed. It comes and goes every year, just like everything else. Why do we have to make a big deal about it?”
“Kate, it’s been almost two decades, well a decade and a half I guess? Are you ever going to forgive him?” Annie looked at her sister with big, sad eyes.
“Annie, it’s not that. I do forgive him, but he…well, it was just a really confusing…” Kate paused and tried to collect her thoughts and start again.
“I don’t know, Annie. It just takes a lot of time to get over something like what h
appened, I don’t know if I ever can.” Kate admitted slowly, taking a few more sips of wine.
“Well can you imagine how confusing it was for Dad? What single father wants to acknowledge the fact that he couldn’t protect his six-year-old daughter? He is the one who put us in that private school. I bet he blamed himself.” Annie said, tiptoeing the line of defending her father and supporting her sister.
“It wasn’t his fault that the principal was a pervert, but it was his fault for not believing me. When I told him what that man was doing to me, Dad called me a liar. He didn’t believe me, his own daughter. I was six years old, why would I lie about something like that?” Kate exclaimed, getting herself worked up a bit just talking about it.
Every time the subject was brought up it felt like she was reliving the whole series of events again in her mind. Annie let a few moments of silence go by to settle the mood.
“Calm down, Kate, I’m not trying to upset you. But I just think that it would help you if you would at least try to forgive Dad. I mean, we did go to the police anyways, even though Dad didn’t believe you. Dad didn’t know about it, and yes he flipped out when he found out we reported it, but the police didn’t do anything anyways, so what more could Dad have done?” Annie argued calmly.
“What more could he have done? He could have believed me, Annie! He could have supported me!” Kate stood up from her chair, finishing her wine, clearly agitated. She walked back into the apartment as Annie got up to follow her.
“I had to endure what that man did to me for months alone! Then when I finally got the nerve to tell Dad, he threw it back in my face! I had to go through interrogations and investigations only to find out that the law is not on the victim’s side, and that man gets away with it!