Falling Down

  "Hey!" I protest.

  "Baby doll, I'm afraid to tell you this, but you're way too good for that bum."

  I laugh. "Oh shush you. Let's go eat."

  Jesse and I grab some pizza and make our way back to Harley's station. The rest of the group stays in the break room. Jesse pats his lap and I take a seat.

  "I can't believe you told me you love me in front of everyone."

  He shrugs. "You said it back in front of everyone."

  "I did. You know what else?"

  "Hmm?

  "I meant it," I grin.

  "Me too."

  We both eat our pizza in silence, goofy grins on our faces.

  "How long have you known you were in love with me?" he asks.

  "Hmm. Thinking about it I'd have to say it probably started in Chicago. Do you have any idea how difficult it was to let you get on that plane and not stalk your sexy ass into first class?"

  He chuckles. "I was kind of expecting it and I got a little disappointed when you didn't."

  "Awww, you even liked me when I was seventeen-year-old jailbait."

  "I did."

  "Well, everything started in Chicago and grew from there. But when I really knew was when you asked us to move in with you and it didn't send me running in the other direction."

  "We're so…"

  "Weird," I finish for him and he laughs.

  "Yeah. You know what though?"

  "What's that?"

  "I think I like that we're weird. It means we're like nobody else."

  "Huh. That's true. Very profound Mr. Rockstar."

  "I have my moments."

  And this was one of those moments. A moment that had my heart skipping a beat. A moment where my chest felt so full of love and hope I thought I'd explode. A moment so touching and poignant and he didn't care that it wasn't just me in the room. He didn't care that his brother, my sister, our band mates and three tattoo artists were listening intently as he laid his heart in his hands for me to either accept or reject.

  "It's weird, Jesse."

  "What is?"

  "You're so comfortable being in love with me. Are you the same Jesse Kingston who sat with me in front of the Beverly Wilshire and told me he didn't do relationships?"

  "One in the same. I was talking out of my ass. I knew I wanted a relationship with you then. I knew that one night wasn't going to be enough."

  I nod.

  "I wanted more than sex from you. I wanted to know you… all of you and the more I got to know, the closer to the ledge I got until I just took the plunge."

  "Don't break my heart, Jesse. You could and you'd destroy me."

  "I don't plan on it. I was kind of hoping you'd stick around. I was hoping it so much that I was going to suggest to Cage we tour together but he beat me to it."

  "Really?" I squeak.

  He nods. "Mhmm. There's too much here between us to not see where this goes."

  I sigh. "Who knew Jesse Kingston was a romantic?"

  He shrugs. "Not me, but I knew you were. Especially when they forced you to sing Blush."

  I groan. "That was supposed to be a surprise."

  He chuckles. "I've got to say, it definitely was that."

  "Have you thought about the new song at all?"

  "Some."

  "Me too."

  "What've you got so far?"

  "Well, I don't think it should be a ballad."

  "I agree."

  I grab my purse and pull out a piece of paper. Jesse raises a brow.

  "What?" I ask.

  He shakes his head. "Nothing. That's just a very musician thing to do."

  "Well, duh, I am a musician."

  "You are, but I'm still getting used to it. I'm used to you being an actress."

  "Mhmm. You and everyone else. This is going to take some doing."

  "What?"

  "Proving myself. Right now the world is probably thinking this whole band thing is a big joke."

  Jesse shrugs. "Fuck 'em."

  I nod.

  "What've you got for lyrics?"

  "I don't have a melody yet, just the first line."

  "Go."

  "I met you in a dream last night."

  "You walked straight toward me and into the light."

  "Nice." I write that down. "All I saw was a silhouette of someone I might know."

  "Step out of the light so I can see you. Go. Go."

  Sera takes a seat. "I've seen you on screen, I've seen you on stage, I've seen you happy, and I've seen you rage."

  Ben nods in approval. "I just want to know you, maybe if I show you."

  "That I'm not the same, to me it's not a game," Xander adds while I quickly write the lyrics that pour from us. It goes around and around from one to the other and soon we have a song.

  "Let's hear it," Harley says after directing me back into the chair.

  "Here goes. Titled: Falling Down."

  Jesse sings with me.

  I met you in a dream last night

  You walked straight toward me and into the light

  All I saw was a silhouette of someone I might know

  Step out of the light so I can see you. Go. Go.

  I've seen you on screen

  I've seen you on stage

  I've seen you happy

  And I've seen you rage

  I just want to know you, maybe if I show you

  That I'm not the same, to me it's not a game

  You're real and I'm here, step out into the clear

  Let's change it all, let's change it before we fall…

  Down the empty black hole of nothingness

  You've gotta admit, you're a mess

  You can fix this if you want to try

  I know you don't want to be that guy

  Be more than you are right now

  I'll help you, it's my vow

  I don't know who you are but I've seen you in my dream

  It's only real or it's fake, it's not always as it may seem

  I just want to know you and see what's on the inside

  What's on the outside doesn't matter so please don't hide

  We can fix this if you want to try

  I know you don't want to be that guy

  Be more than you are right now

  I'll help you it's my vow

  No more falling… down.

  "Well, GK, you proved it to me with just that. Your band is going to knock some people on their ass when they stand there all skeptical and doubting and shit," Harley tells me.

  "I hope so."

  "Good melody, but it needs something more," Jesse tells me as I cringe at the feel of the needles working color deep into my skin.

  "Yeah, Ethan, Kennedy, and Jace can figure that out. Text the lyrics Sera?"

  "On it," she tells me as she takes the paper.

  "I've gotta tell you lot, this has been the most fucking memorable day I've ever had in my shop. First, I've got Luciana fucking Russo in my chair and I get to see her ass and feel her boob."

  "I knew you wanted to feel my woman's boob."

  "Damn straight, Jesse. She's hot. And she's fucking famous. Academy award winning actress and shit."

  I roll my eyes.

  "Second, Serafina Manzini is here. You have no idea how many times I've--nevermind."

  "Eww," I say with a laugh.

  "Then we've got Meggie Melody. One of the best guitarists I've ever seen."

  "Here, here," I cheer and Meggie takes a bow.

  "I'm used to you Falling Down fuckers but not these ladies. Then on top of that, I've got a rockstar and Hollywood actress professing love while I tattoo her tit. It doesn't get any fucking better than this, I swear," Harley announces with pride.

  I laugh thinking about Harley tattooing my boob while Jesse and I said our I love yous.

  "You fucker," Jesse chides Harley. "You were copping a feel while I was professing my love to my woman?"

  Harley shrugs. "We've got to take the moments we're given, brother."
r />   "True that," Xander says, and fist bumps work their way around the room.

  "Are you guys for real right now?"

  "What?" Ben asks.

  "This is the weirdest day of my life and that's no lie. I can hear my mother. 'So tell me the moment Jesse told you he was in love with you. Well mama, it's like this. Harley, the amazing tattoo artist was inking me at the time and feeling me up when Jesse leaned forward and told me he was in love with me in a room full of people.'"

  They all start laughing.

  "I can see Regina now," Meggie says. "You better not mention the ink. Let her find out when she sees it, uh, this weekend."

  "Oh shit. We were invited for… oh I am so fucked."

  "Not yet, babe, but you will be when we get home. What?" Xander asks as we all glare at him. "It's what Jesse should have said right then. I can't help if he's not as quick witted as I am."

  I roll my eyes--again.

  This really is the weirdest day of my life--and the best because the man I love loves me back. As Harley said, it doesn't get any better than that.

  Chapter Twenty

  Lucy

  "Oh my God. I'm a total masochist," I whine to Jace who rolls his eyes.

  "Stop being such a pussy," Ethan scolds.

  "Fuck off. Look at this," I say lifting my shirt, showing them my now-complete tattoo. "This shit would hurt you too. Don't even deny it."

  "It would but I wouldn't be pissing and moaning about it," Jace says.

  "Jeez. What the hell is wrong with you guys? So harsh."

  "Nothing," Jace says but I know that look. He's lying.

  "Spill it."

  "Don't worry about it."

  "I'm always going to worry about things when it comes to you--all of you. What can I do? Can I help?"

  Jace sighs and Kennedy eyes me skeptically.

  "Just tell her for fuck's sake," Sera says.

  "Do you know what's going on?"

  "No, which is why I want them to tell already."

  "Where's Jesse?" Ethan asks.

  "He went to shower. Tell me."

  "It might be better if I show you."

  "Oh God," Meggie groans as Ethan picks up his laptop. "That's never good."

  I sigh. "Nope, sure isn't. Not a shock though, is it?"

  "Nope," Sera replies.

  "How bad is it?" I look to Jace. He says nothing but his tight-lipped expression speaks volumes.

  "Here's one of them," Ethan says.

  "One of them?" I look at the screen and see a title that makes me gasp, want to cry, and want to apologize to the band members of Blush for my mere existence.

  "Award-Winning Actress Attempts Rock Career," I read aloud. "Award-winning actress Luciana Russo announced her bid to go forth seeking a career in music, putting acting on the back burner. For curiosity's sake we did a little digging and found that Miss Russo does indeed have a past rocking and rolling with two other band members of the group to be titled Blush. A high school acquaintance shared some early recordings of the younger version of Blush and instead of describing the tracks, we've put them up here for you to listen to. Be sure to share your feedback in the comments section below."

  "Dear Lord," Sera says as she presses the PLAY button.

  "That's not us."

  Jace shakes his head.

  "Wait. Isn't that… what's her name again?"

  "Whitney."

  "Yes! That lying bitch," I curse. "Is there anything we can do? Sue her? Has anyone talked to Cage?"

  "No, no, and no," Jace tells me.

  "Fucking whore!" Sera shouts.

  "Yeah!" I agree.

  "Who's a whore?" Jesse asks coming into the room.

  I sigh and point to the laptop. He presses the PLAY button and cringes and laughs.

  "That's not you."

  "No shit," Sera says.

  "Hmm. How far has this spread?" Jesse asks Ethan.

  "Web-wide."

  "Lovely," I say. "Now everyone thinks we totally suck. You might want to get someone else to open for your tour, guys, and you all," I say to Jace, Meggie, and Sera, "Might want to get a new lead singer."

  "Fuck that," Jesse says. "I'm gonna place a quick call to Cage. I'll be back in a few." He leaves the room and Trace walks in.

  "I'm not worried about it," Trace says with a shrug. "They'll see what we're about when we get our shit out there and in a few days we start recording. Knowing Cage, he's going to prioritize that shit to get it out there and prove the doubters wrong."

  "Maybe," I tell him, "but there are ways to 'fix' voices and they'll still doubt. I mean look at that one girl's file that leaked where it was her real voice."

  "Dude, that was epic," Xander says with a laugh.

  "Yeah, but if they can fix her to sound as good as she does, they're going to think that they can do that to me as well."

  "Concerts will solve that problem."

  "Yeah, but Xander that's months away."

  "True. But before we panic, let's see what Jesse and Cage work out. You need some lovin' from the Xan Man to make you feel better, beautiful girl? I'll even be gentle and let you on top so your tat won't hurt," he teases, throwing an arm around my shoulders.

  I laugh. "You're so generous."

  "I know, what can I say? Anything to please the ladies."

  "Uh-huh," Meggie says with a raised eyebrow. "You're a perv, you know that, right?"

  "Yep. Proud of it. When did you lose the funky colors?"

  She touches her now-red hair and shrugs. "Every now and again I do normal."

  "Is that your normal color?" He narrows his eyes.

  "Mhmm. Red head, carrot top, whatever you want to call me, go for it."

  "Why would I do that? I'm partial to red heads."

  She snorts. "You're partial to anything with a vagina."

  "Valid. But red heads top the list."

  I roll my eyes. "Get your arm off of me when you're hitting on another woman. You have no manners, Xander."

  He shrugs. "I don't need any. I get all the pussy I want."

  I roll my eyes and press my lips together to stop myself from commenting on groupie whores with no morals.

  "That's got to be tough for you," Kennedy states.

  "You have no idea," I tell him and he chuckles.

  "Well, alright. Got that all worked out with Cage," Jesse tells us as he comes back in the room.

  "What'd he say?"

  "We came up with a partial plan. He'll fill us in on the rest tomorrow. Here's what we've got so far…"

  ***~~~***

  Jesse unlocks the bedroom door and I breathe a sigh of relief as I slip off my flip-flops.

  "I'd love to flop back on the bed but I'd end up screaming in agony," I tell him with a laugh.

  "Why don't I wash your tattoos for you, then you can get ready for bed, and when you're done I'll put the goopy shit and a new bandage on for you."

  I nod. "That sounds good." I walk into the bathroom with Jesse behind me. He helps me remove my shirt and sports bra. He washes his hands, then wets a washcloth and works some antibacterial soap into the cloth. He gently wipes and I hiss out a breath.

  "I'm sorry, Luce. I'm trying to be as gentle as I can."

  "I know. It's not your fault. It's just really tender."

  He nods. "It will be for a couple days. Let me rinse it real quick."

  "Okay."

  He holds a towel below my tattoo and pours a small cup of warm water over the wound.

  "Ahhh, that feels good."

  "Mhmm. I brought you one of my shirts. I figured the bulkier the less it'll cling."

  "Good idea. I knew I liked you for a reason."

  "Funny girl with the amazing rack, you're looking for a spanking."

  I can't hide the thrill that rushes through me or the wetness that pools between my thighs.

  Jesse chuckles as he puts the aftercare product Harley gave me over my tattoos. It stings a little but not too bad. I'm not sure what I was thinking wanting the enti
re thing finished in one sitting. Well, yeah, I do. I was thinking I'd chicken out if I didn't get it all done at the first session. Harley decided to do a lot of the coloring but saved some of it for when I go back so he can shade and 3D it. I still haven't seen the Blush tattoo that Jesse just covered back up. Even if I'd tried to get a glimpse, there'd be no way without a mirror. Right now there'll be no twisting of my body to see my back. Likely I'd whine like a baby.

  "There we go. I'll let you get set," he says and presses a kiss to my lips.

  "Thank goodness Harley sent extra bandage thingies."

  "He spoiled you like everyone else does."

  "It's because I'm so adorable."

  "That's exactly why."

  "Thanks for cleaning that for me, babe."

  He grins, still loving the endearments and I think it's amazing that simple names can make him feel a hundred feet tall. Even more amazing is the fact that he loves those nicknames coming from me.

  I pull off my yoga pants and do my business, wash my face, and slowly pull Jesse's wife beater over my head. Yeah, this doesn't cover my boobs for shit but I'm guessing that was his plan. Sneaky shit.

  Ugh, I'm so crabby. I can't get past the bullshit I've had to put up with for the last few months--starting with Aiden Jensen and still going with Whitney the whore. It wasn't my fault the guys thought she couldn't sing for shit and rejected her from the band. If she'd played an instrument she might have stood a chance--nah, she wouldn't have. No one liked or trusted her. She would stab you in the back first chance she got… today was proof of that.

  Jesse knocks on the door.

  "Mhmm," I say as I brush my teeth.

  "That's what I need to do," he says nodding to my toothbrush.

  I wink then rinse my mouth.

  "What plan did you and Cage come up with?"

  He shakes his head, his mouth full of toothpaste. He spits. "Nothing's one-hundred percent at this point. We'll talk about it tomorrow when we get to the studio."

  I nod, frustration continuing to make me pissy.

  Jesse rinses his mouth, then kisses my lips. "I don't like you all crabby, Luce."

  I sigh. "I can't help it. Things were going well, you know? Finally it was quiet."

  "You know what happens when it's quiet."

  "Yeah, I know. The calm before the storm. I definitely want to bring a shit storm to Whitney."