Falling Down

  "Jesse, knock it the hell off."

  "I don't know what you're talking about," I evade as I wash her other tat. "Damn, this Blush tat turned out great. Even the guys are going to love it. It's sexy but tasteful, feminine but not too girlie. Harley's a fucking genius."

  "Will you help me look at it after we get you out of your bad case of pissy and we finish our shower?"

  I can't help it. She's so fucking beautiful and sweet that even when she tries to look fierce she's just so lovable it does that funky thing to my heart.

  "I don't have a bad case of pissy. Really. I'm good."

  She raises a brow and watches me skeptically as I wash her front. It's completely non-sexual because I can tell when I wash between her legs she's sore. It's not a flinch or a grimace but just a bit of a frown. I'm really fucking proud of her though. Not many women can go six times in less than twelve hours, multiple orgasms each time. My girl is awesome.

  "I need to shave my legs but I can't bend," she says with a pout.

  "No problem, Cupcake," I tell her and pull on a tab sticking out of the side of the shower and a small bench comes out.

  "Jesse. I think this is the best shower I've ever seen in my entire life."

  Her enthusiasm and excitement make me laugh.

  "Yeah?"

  She nods, like a kid with a new toy. "What else can it do?"

  "Let's wash your hair and shit and I'll show you."

  I wash her hair, massaging her scalp a bit, then we rinse it. She does the conditioner thing, running her fingers through the long strands. I watch so I know how to do it if she gets sick or something and needs me--my heart seizes up in my chest. No. Lucy can't and won't ever get sick. Hell no. I can't stand the thought of it. What if--?

  "Jesse? Breathe," she tells me with a tap to my cheek.

  I blow out a breath and pull her to me. Nothing can happen to her. I just found her. I love her more than anything and if she were taken from me--no. It won't happen. Fate brought us together, it's going to keep us together.

  "Are you okay, babe?" she asks.

  "Yeah," I nod. "I'm good."

  "Sure?"

  "Mhmm." I wash my hair and body while she shaves her legs. Damn if that isn't sexy. What the hell? Who knew women shaving their legs was sexy? It's the motion, the glide of her hand with the razor, it's almost sensual. Jesus. I have it bad. I admit to being two hundred percent pussy whipped. The thing about that? I don't give a fuck. I like it. No one better mess with me about it either. I think of Ben and I just know he's going to. I'll have to punch him in the mouth when he does. He'll deserve it. Hell, he'll know it's coming the minute he opens his mouth.

  I just watch as she finishes shaving her legs, so neat and precise. I suppose if she doesn't do it carefully she'll cut the shit out of herself and that shit hurts like a motherfucker.

  "There. I just have to rinse," she says turning to me. When she sees me staring at her, shoulder against the wall of the shower, arms crossed over my chest, she lifts her brows. "What?"

  I just shake my head. How can I tell her she's so beautiful she steals my breath? That even watching her shave her legs is sexy. I'm turning into a fucking chick. I think I need to fight with Ben just to make sure my balls are still intact. Shit.

  "Ready?" I ask as I get set to change the spray. "This might hurt your tats so brace for it."

  She nods, almost bouncing in excitement. I grin. She's so damn cute.

  I hit the button for FULL and all the jets shoot out water, ten total. They're positioned from all angles, including the sides.

  "Ohhhh," she moans as the water beats on her back. "This is amazing."

  "Let's try the next one," I say quickly, ridiculously jealous that the fucking jets can make her moan like that. I have no idea what the fuck is going on with me, but now I'm definitely going to have Ben punch me in the face. Maybe even Ethan too for good measure.

  The next one is MIST and it's just as it sounds, a slow mist from all the jets.

  "I don't like that one," she says closing her eyes. "It's like being splashed in the face. I hate that."

  "Next," I announce and press STREAM. It's just a regular shower, straight from the three nozzles overhead.

  "That'll be great for rinsing my hair," she tells me.

  "Next," I say, pressing STREAM-X. Regular streams come from all jets except the two that angle toward the face and she grins. "That's a nice one too."

  I smirk. "You're so cute, Luce."

  She flits a hand in my direction. "Next!"

  "Brace yourself." I press MASSAGE.

  The three overhead nozzles, pulse in a massaging stream.

  "Shit!" she squeals.

  "You alright?"

  "Yeah, it just hit my tat on my shoulder."

  "Okay, let me switch it quick." I press STEAM and steam comes from all ten nozzles and the exhaust fan kicks on to high.

  "Oh, steam room."

  "You ever go for a steam?"

  She wrinkles her nose. "I tried it. I don't care for it really, not in the club anyway. This isn't so bad. It's not dry like the other."

  "Yeah, I'm not a fan of the steam box either. If I want to sweat, I'll just lift weights or go for a run."

  "Exactly."

  "There are a couple more and I'll let you play around with them next time you shower."

  "Cool. You don't mind?"

  I pull her to me. "Lucy, I mean it when I say this is your house too. Please treat it as yours not just mine and the guys', okay?"

  She nods.

  "You don't see Sera, Jace, Meggie or even Trace having an issue with it, do you?"

  "No, but--"

  "But…" I pause. Wait. She's used to taking care of everyone, providing for everyone, that she's not sure how to react when someone does the same for her.

  "Lucy?"

  "Hmm?"

  "You're used to taking care of everyone, right?"

  "Well, yeah, I just always--"

  "Okay. I get it but you can still take care of them from here, and seeing as we're in a relationship and we love each other, you're going to have to get used to someone taking care of you, too."

  "I thought I was doing pretty well."

  "You are. Don't get me wrong, you're doing great. I just didn't realize that was what was going on. You can talk to me, Lucy. You know that, right?"

  "I do."

  "Don't hesitate because you think I'll judge you. I never will. It's part of that pinky-swear and X over heart promise."

  She nods.

  "Trust me, Luce. Here's how much I trust you."

  She just looks at me.

  "I keep thinking all these fucking mushy romantic thoughts that would have Ben or the guys giving me shit and you know what?"

  "What?" she asks.

  "I don't give a fuck. I like it. I like feeling like this about you and I don't care who knows it. I like knowing you'll be here when I go to sleep at night and when I wake up in the morning. I like cooking for you. I like your reactions to each of the fucking different settings for this shower. That's how pathetic I am, how whipped I am, and I'm not too proud to tell you. A year ago I'd have probably thrown you out--no, that's not true either. It'd have been you and you're you and there's no wanting you gone. Period. Ever."

  "Wow."

  "Yeah. Word vomit."

  She nods. I turn off the shower and we step out, drying off. She wraps a towel around her head like some turban or something.

  "See? That right there? I think that's fucking adorable."

  "What?" she asks.

  "The turban thing you've got going on."

  Her eyes are wide as she asks, "Jesse, you're all in, huh?"

  I nod, head hanging, hands braced on my hips, only my head moving as I accept my fate.

  "Me too," she tells me.

  I lift my head up. "Yeah?"

  She nods. "I'm used to taking care of everyone. I've always taken care of Sera, ever since her parents… well, since then. She was in such a bad way for
so long and then she gave up her dream of music to model while I acted all because my mom wanted it. I made ridiculous amounts of money and she did as well, but I just bought the houses, paid the bills, paid for vacations, and made sure she was comfortable, happy, and never wanted for anything. I like doing that for everyone. Now there's Jace, Meggie, and Trace. I know they can all take care of themselves, but I just like to do it."

  I nod. "It's a good thing. It's part of who you are. You nurture and take care of people, giving them what they need monetarily or emotionally. I saw that from the beginning. But, babe, you don't have to own your own house--hell, you already do. You can take care of everyone from here. I'd really like it if you'd stay. We can talk to the others later, especially Sera, and make sure she's good with staying here. The house is plenty big and she has tons of freedom here."

  She nods. "You're amazing, Jesse. Thank you," she says, giving me a hug. I gently hug her back, careful not to hurt her sore areas.

  "Want to see your tattoo now?"

  Her head springs up. "Yes!"

  I chuckle. "Okay. Let me find that mirror," I tell her, searching through drawers. "Ah, here we go. Ready?" I ask her.

  She nods.

  "Tell me which way to tilt." I hold up the mirror and she directs me. I know the minute she gets a clear image because she gasps.

  "Oh my… Jesse this is perfect."

  "Those are your lips from that one modeling thing you did. Harley found a picture online."

  "Wow," she breathes. "It's perfect. Lips blowing out musical notes. I love the band name in blush and black over the top of everything. It makes me think that while the music is important, the band is more important and that's true. Without happiness and contentment in the band, the music would suck ass."

  I nod. "Beautiful brilliant girl."

  She smiles.

  "Let's get that goopy shit on your tats and find you something comfortable yet respectable to wear."

  "Respectable?"

  "Well, as phenomenal as your tits are, I don't want the guys checking out my woman's rack. I'd have to punch someone and I'd rather avoid that if I can."

  "It'd be Xander."

  "Fucking A it would. He tried to check out your ass and tit at Harley's."

  She laughs. "I know. There was no hiding my ass, I mean it was out there, but it's just a little area and not worth mentioning. But he tried so damn hard to see my boob. It was hilarious. Sera and I kept laughing at him."

  I nod. "He's a perv."

  "So are you," she says, challenging with the raise of a brow.

  "I am, but I don't check out other dude's women."

  She rolls her eyes. "Please. When you were whoring you didn't give a shit who the chick was with."

  I run a hand over the back of my neck, a bit ashamed of how I behaved.

  "I did."

  "It's not okay but I get your reasoning now."

  I nod. "Thanks."

  She nods. "Now goop me up so I can dry my hair before it gets all funky."

  I grab the tube and begin spreading the gunk over her tats.

  Her gaze meets mine in the mirror when she drops the towel.

  I groan when the phone rings in the other room. "Probably a good thing since you're already getting sore."

  She nods, her eyes filled with want and desire.

  I head to the bedroom and pick up my phone.

  "Who is it?" she asks.

  "Cage."

  "Oh good."

  "Yo," I say by way of answering.

  He only says two words. "Show time."

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Lucy

  With everything that Whitney whore started, the media blew up calling me all kinds of vile names. All I could do at first was clench my fists. Then Cage came over and we all--both bands--had a meeting. Spenser, Carmen, Simone and even Mrs. Martinez sat in on the meeting. Everyone less than pleased with the latest turn of events.

  My mother called and rescheduled the party for the following weekend, pending our recording schedule. Thank goodness. One less thing to worry about--well, two actually. First, I wouldn't have to listen to my mother go on and on about what a mistake I was making and how I should just stick with acting where there's less drama. Honestly sometimes I could shake her and tell her to wake up and smell the coffee. The life of an actress is where this all stems from. I haven't even broached into the career of a rocker yet. Gah. Second, she wouldn't see my tattoos--yet. I know it's petty and juvenile of me to hide this from her, but right now I can't be bothered to deal with any more bullshit. This is where Cage comes in.

  Our savior. Our white knight. Our knight in shining armor. The man who has the answer to every situation. Cage came up with the perfect solution and as it's seven-thirty Monday morning, I'm ready to get this underway.

  "You look relaxed," Jesse tells me.

  I shrug. "Not really. I just want to get this done and resolve this bullshit."

  He nods. "I can understand that. Your tats doing okay?"

  "Yeah, they barely hurt anymore."

  "You're such a hard ass," he says with a grin.

  "Dimples," I say, standing on tippy toe getting nowhere near his face. He takes pity on me and leans down. I kiss one dimple, then the other. "You have no idea how sexy those dimples are."

  "Luce, all I care about is you thinking they're sexy."

  "It's seven-fucking-thirty. Get a room," Xander growls as he enters the kitchen.

  I pour him a cup of coffee and hand it to him. He grunts. Same goes for Ethan, Kennedy, Jace, and Trace. Meggie bounces in and I'm hesitant on giving her coffee. What's she going to be like with caffeine in her system?

  "Pour it, fucker," she scolds.

  "Fine but no bouncing off the walls while we're recording."

  She rolls her eyes, takes the cup of coffee, and leans against the counter.

  Sera straggles in last looking gorgeous as always and I want to slap her. It's really not fair that she can practically roll out of bed and look like the super model she is.

  I pour her coffee. "Bitch," I say. She flips me off.

  "I'm totally feeling the love here," Trace says. Apparently sarcasm is everyone's friend.

  "We should go," Frank says stepping into the doorway.

  Everyone files out and I note Gio and Mike are here as well as Max.

  "What's going on?" I ask.

  "We're taking two vehicles," Frank answers. "We could have gotten a stretch limo or hummer but we figured it was best not to draw extra attention to ourselves."

  "Good idea," Jesse says.

  "Who's riding with me?"

  Jesse just looks at me.

  "Besides you, of course," I smile brightly then take a long drink of my coffee, burning my tongue and roof of my mouth. Fuck. Not a good start to the day. I'm anxious and I hate feeling anxious.

  "Sera and Meggie," Frank says.

  "Dude," Xander says. "We're going to be in an all-dick vehicle. That fucking sucks."

  "Get over it," Ethan scolds and climbs into their car.

  "You think two black Town Cars following one another is going to be less conspicuous than a stretch limo?" I ask.

  Frank raises his brows. "Wrong side of the bed this morning?"

  I sigh. "I'm sorry. No. I'm just feeling anxious. I don't like feeling anxious, especially on such an important day, you know? I should be overjoyed and celebrating the fact we're finally starting to record, but instead I'm wigging out over this… this… shit."

  He nods. "It'll be over soon."

  "Until the next dramatic episode the media comes up with," Sera says.

  "You'd think after six years of crap you'd be used to it by now," Meggie says.

  "How often did you see my name in the media in a derogatory manner over those six years?"

  She pauses. "Point taken."

  I nod. "They even managed to hide some things I expected to be plastered on the front page yet Whitney whore is front and fucking center."

  "I wonder
how much they paid her," Sera says.

  "A hundred grand," Jesse says.

  My head whips to the side, my gaze meeting his. "What? How do you know that?"

  He shrugs. "Was on one of the gossip sites."

  "You were looking at the gossip sites? What are they saying?"

  "I was and you're better off not knowing."

  I groan and lean into his side when he puts an arm around me and pulls me close.

  "It won't matter in another hour or two. She better hope that check cleared."

  Sera snickers. "That'd be great if they held the check and canceled it."

  Meggie snorts. "I always hated that bitch. You know she tried to steal Tommy Cavanaugh from right under my nose. She skanked through all the guys at your school so she had to come to mine for fresh ones who didn't know what a STD-ridden slut she was."

  "Wow," Frank says with a chuckle.

  "It's no joke," Meggie tells him. "She thought if she spread around the clap, they'd call it applause. She's got more crabs than Red Lobster. And last but certainly not least, she's got so much yeast she could open a bakery."

  "Ack," I say laughing and groaning and grossing out at the same time. "You were good until you mentioned yeast."

  "Imagine how the guys feel when they get down there."

  "Megs, you're so fucking sick," Sera tells her.

  She shrugs. "I just hope the guys sniffed it before they licked it."

  Jesse groans out a laugh. "Holy fuck that's disgusting."

  "She did get around. It wouldn't surprise me if the whole thing was true," Sera confirms then takes a drink of her coffee.

  "Again, one of the weirdest conversations you've ever had this early in the morning," Frank says shaking his head. "You've been having a lot of those lately."

  I grunt and nod.

  "Be glad Xander isn't here for this conversation," Jesse tells Frank.

  "Can you imagine?" I ask.

  "No. Do not even go there," Sera chides.

  The car pulls up in front of Nichols Records and I'm surprised. Time flew by and the drive was fast. I look at the clock in the car. Eight-thirty-four. Huh.

  "We better get moving, we're on a tight schedule," Jesse tells me.

  I nod. "Celeste is going to be meeting us here. Jesse, can you keep your horny band mates away from her?"