Falling Down

  "It's fucking hot," Kennedy says. It's the first time he's ever directly spoken to me and I thought he was mute or just hated me.

  I laugh. "Thanks. It really is hot. It's making me sweat under my boobs and that's just gross."

  He laughs. "Too much information, girlie."

  I nod. "Twenty minutes?"

  They all murmur their agreement.

  Sera jumps up and down a bit as we walk back to the changing room. "We're really doing this. I can't believe it," she says twirling in a circle.

  "We are." And I'm scared shitless. What if we suck? What if we fail? What if we can't find decent band members? What if the ones we choose get hooked on drugs? What will the rules on the bus be if we tour? There is so much to think about and my brain is overloading.

  "Stop it," Sera snaps.

  "What?"

  "You know what. Knock it off. We haven't even gotten started yet and you're freaking out about shit you don't need to be freaking out about."

  She knows me so well.

  "Unh."

  "Oh boy. You're 'unh'-ing?"

  "I'd 'eh' but people make fun of us for doing that."

  "Valid."

  "You've been reading Jay McLean again, haven't you?"

  "I have. Logan Matthews is such an asshole hottie. I can't get enough."

  "Agreed."

  I stand behind the changing partition and slip off the heat suctioning torture device known as a black leather dress and breathe a sigh of relief. Then I proceed to stomp on it.

  "Gross."

  "What?" Sera asks.

  "Boob sweat. I need a washcloth."

  "Well go get one."

  "I'm naked and I'm not putting that sweat trap back on."

  There's a knock on the other side of the partition and I gasp, pulling the leather up to cover my nakedness.

  There's a low chuckle from the other side and then a hand appears at the top with a wet washcloth.

  "Oh my God."

  "Yeah, you'll be saying that to me a lot, Cupcake."

  "I can't reach, can you just drop it?"

  "Sure."

  The washcloth drops and I catch it, dropping the dress and washing beneath, around, and all over my breasts.

  "This feels amazing. God, Jesse, you have no idea."

  He chuckles again. "You'll be saying that a lot too, but I'll have an idea because I'll be making it happen."

  I snort. I don't bother to deny it. I am definitely going to be sharing some fucktastic moments with Jesse Kingston. What red-blooded woman with a pulse would deny herself that pleasure? Certainly not this one.

  I pull on my sports bra, yoga pants and t-shirt then sit on the bench with my shoes and socks.

  "It's safe to come back here now."

  Jesse comes around the side and eyes the leather dress on the ground.

  "Did you trample it?"

  "Yes," I say with venom.

  He smiles. "Why?"

  "It sucked all the fluids out of my body and pushed them on and around my boobs and any crevices it could find. It's made of evil."

  He chuckles. "That bad?"

  "And then some." I tie my second shoe and sit up. I meet his gaze, there's humor there. "Sure, sure, laugh it up at my expense. It's all fun and games until I'm dehydrated and pass out and need you to resuscitate me."

  "Oh baby, I'll resuscitate you anytime you want."

  "Pig."

  "Oink."

  I laugh. "See? This is why."

  "Why what?"

  "This," I say waving my hand around, "is why I think you're cute."

  "There's way more to it than that, Lucy. Stop lying to yourself. It'll make things easier in the end."

  "What things?"

  "You accepting that you're mine."

  My eyes widen. "Yours?" I squeak.

  He nods, lips pressed together in a thin line.

  "You don't seem too happy about it." I hop in the chair and Spenser helps me take off my makeup.

  "I wasn't happy about it six years ago in Chicago and I'm not happy about it now."

  "I have no idea what you're talking about."

  He grunts and I wipe makeup from my face, just quiet thinking of nothing.

  "You do. You felt it just as I did in Chicago. I saw it."

  "That was a fangirl crush, Jesse."

  "Nope. It was more and you can deny it all you want."

  "I won't deny my attraction to you."

  "That's a good thing. You're sexy as hell so we're on an even playing field."

  "As far as that's concerned, yes."

  "I figure we'll just fuck it out," he says and I laugh. Spenser snorts. I laugh hard, so hard I'm doubled over. I snort in a very unladylike manner and Sera comes over.

  "What's so funny?"

  Jesse shrugs and I point at him, tears running down my cheeks I'm laughing so hard. Oh God, it's hurting my stomach.

  "Fuck it out," I say and fall off the chair onto the floor laughing. Jesse narrows his eyes then slides down, his legs on either side of my hips, grabbing my arms, pinning them above my head.

  I try to stop laughing, I really do, but giggles keep bubbling up. He's not pleased that I found his statement funny.

  "I'm sorry, Jesse," I say, trying to catch my breath. "It just… the way you said it." I giggle again.

  He lowers his face to within an inch of mine. "I guarantee you, Luce, you won't be laughing when you're naked beneath me--not unless I want you to. You'll be moaning and writhing and clawing up my back and shoulders. You'll be calling out my name as I make you come over and over again with my fingers, my tongue, and my cock."

  All laughter has fled and I instantly get wet just from his words.

  "Jesus."

  He nods. "You'll be calling for him too."

  Oh yeah, it'd be easy to get lost in Jesse Kingston but I can't allow that. I know all about guys like him where their cocks fucking rule their world, where emotion doesn't enter into the equation. Been there, done that, don't want a repeat.

  "Not so funny, now is it?"

  I pause. He really is full of himself and taking a whole lot for granted. Yeah, I think he's hot as hell and I've wanted him for a long time, but his? I don't think so. I belong to me . He can play that game with his little groupie whores.

  "You're mine and it's not a joke."

  "I don't even know what that means."

  "Neither do I, but we'll see how it plays out, yeah?"

  "Yeah, I don't think so," I say as panic fills my chest. I push him off of me and stand up. "Nope. No. Can't do that." Can't allow that. I grab a wet towel and finish washing my face.

  "What?"

  The shock is evident on his face and I hide my panic and shrug.

  "The whole fangirl crush thing I had going on when I was younger? Sure it's still there and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want you in my bed. But yours?" I shake my head.

  "Yeah, mine."

  "I'm pretty happy being just me."

  He just stares. I see disbelief, anger, and frustration in his gaze. Good. Not every woman is going to bow down to him. He's not used to the word 'no', that much is evident. That's probably because this is Jesse Kingston. Rockstar extraordinaire. Player. Manwhore. He can have anyone he wants and usually does, only this time he wants me… as his? I don't think so. That'd be a very big mistake.

  "If that's how you want this to go, I'll play along."

  "Jesse, this isn't a game."

  "Sounds like you're making it one."

  "No. You are making it one. We barely know one another."

  "So what? We'll get to know one another--in and out of bed."

  "How do you propose we do that when we have one more day on this shoot and then we go our separate ways?"

  "We'll figure it out."

  I shake my head. "I'm not going to deny my attraction to you. That's just stupid, but that's it. Attraction, lust, want, desire. That's all."

  "You keep telling yourself that, Lucy."

  "It's the
truth."

  "Uh-huh."

  Frustrating, arrogant, egotistical rockstar!

  "They're waiting for us. We need to go," he says as he grabs my hand pulling me down the hallway. Spenser laughs behind us. What the hell? As we near the conference room, I struggle to pull my hand out of his and he just clings.

  "Let go."

  "I don't think so."

  "Jesse. Stop."

  He meets my gaze, looking for something. He must see whatever it is he was searching for because he nods slightly.

  He lifts our hands and presses a kiss to our knuckles. "I'll let you go. For now."

  He releases my hand and I roll my eyes.

  "I'm not going to be yours, Jesse."

  "You already are."

  With that, he walks into the conference room, leaving me standing alone in the hallway.

  "What the hell is wrong with that man?" I ask to no one in particular.

  No. I. Am. Not. I am not his. Crushing on him, lusting after him--yes. He's got an ego problem if he thinks he can claim me after working with me for two days. I've come across his kind before and that's how I learned to keep me to me. Jumping into something because of the attraction, because it feels good--some people are built for that, but I'm not. I've learned the hard way that broken hearts never truly mend, never become whole again. There are always a few missing pieces left behind with the careless one who did the breaking and they don't even appreciate your sacrifice. Those remaining pieces are their trophy.

  I won't make that mistake again.

  Chapter Six

  Lucy

  "What's shakin', doll?" this, from Xander, Falling Down's drummer and the smoothest talking man I've ever met.

  "Hey," I say with a smile as I take a seat. "Sera and I would like to talk to you all about…"

  "Our total life change," she interrupts.

  "What? You're getting sex changes?" Ben says with a chuckle.

  "No, smart ass," Sera glares.

  Jesse hands me a diet Coke and takes a seat next to me. I force a smile.

  "Thanks."

  "No problem, Luce." He opens the top of his Coke bottle and takes a long swallow. I get caught up in the movement of his throat as the liquid flows from his mouth and down into his throat. His mouth--that mouth, those lips--pressed against the rim of the bottle. I want those lips on me.

  "Jesus, Lucy. Look away from the hottie and let's get to business."

  Jesse grins, I blush. "Uh, yeah. Sorry. So I was saying--"

  I get cut off when the conference room door opens.

  "What's up, fuckers?" Jace exclaims and Sera and I squeal and run over and hug him. I jump up, wrapping my arms and legs around him, and he smacks my ass.

  "Oh my God, we weren't expecting to see you here!"

  "Max said you were still here, so here I am."

  "This is awesome," Sera says with a laugh.

  There's a clearing of a throat and I turn to a frowning, stern-faced Jesse. Oh boy. Mine. I roll my eyes.

  "Everyone, this is Jace. He grew up with us and he's come out here to play with us."

  "Play?" Jesse says with a scowl. I want to laugh. Jealousy is a different look for Jesse.

  "Yeah," I say walking back to my seat. "You see, after the whole club incident, I realized I was completely done."

  "What do you mean 'done'?" Cage asks.

  "Acting. Unless some phenomenal part with an amazing costar--"

  "Milo Ventimiglia," Sera interrupts with a smirk.

  "Yeah," I breathe. "Milo." I take a moment of silence to appreciate all that is Milo. I'm so distracted by the hotties today I can't even focus. "I was saying, unless some really great part I can't pass up falls in my lap, I'm done."

  "Same with me for modeling," Sera adds, meeting Cage's gaze with a smile..

  Surprised murmurs fill the room.

  Cage raises his brows. "What does Regina say?"

  I laugh. "She was not happy at first and was trying to talk me out of it until my dad jumped in."

  "Excellent. Good man," Cage says with a grin. "Does this mean what I think it means?"

  "It does."

  "What does it mean?" Jesse asks.

  I lean forward and look around the table at the rock stars seated here, the award winning producer that is Cage, and I realize in this moment that I'm blessed. My acting got me here, in this moment, but it's time to do what I love, what makes me whole.

  "It means that as of yesterday, well last night, I'm no longer an actress and Sera's no longer a model and Jace no longer works at his dad's accounting firm. It means that we're going to come together--with a few others that we still need to find--and share our music with the world."

  "You're going to rock?" Ben asks with a grin, his dimples winking at me. Whew, those Kingston dimples.

  I nod. "We are."

  Everyone goes nuts. From "that fucking rocks" to "holy shit". The room is loud and boisterous and it's nothing like I expected. They're excited for us.

  "Lucy, this is cool as fuck." I laugh as he pulls me into a hug. "Are you sure?"

  I nod. "One-hundred percent."

  He lets go of me and shakes his head.

  Cage gets everyone to quiet down.

  "What do you need to make this happen?" Always the businessman.

  "First I'd like to say I'm not sure why you've done it but you've befriended us and you barely know us."

  "We know enough," Xander says. "You're hot, you're talented, and you're sweet and classy chicks. We like you."

  "Just like that? You're rockstars."

  "And you're an Academy Award winning actress and let's not get to the nominations," he retorts. "Why are you befriending us? You don't have to be our friends to get in Jesse's pants."

  That pisses me off and he knows it. He smirks. "I wouldn't use you like that. That's just rude--" He grins. "You totally played me."

  "I did. You're really sexy when you're fired up. Now, as Cage asked, what do you need to make this happen?"

  "Band members," Sera blurts out.

  "Reliable, nondrug-using band members," I correct.

  "Well, shit. That's easy," Ethan chimes in.

  "Easy? Even the nondrug-using part?"

  He nods. "We know a lot of people and I, personally, know a few guys and girls who are looking for a good band."

  "But we're not established and you know a lot of people are going to turn their noses up and really criticize because of who I am." I look to Sera and Jace apologetically. "They're going to see an actress not a musician."

  "Fuck them," Jace says.

  "Exactly," Jesse agrees. "Fuck 'em. Look at Jared Leto."

  I snort. "Jared Leto is in a class all by himself. He just stands there and women fall at his feet--add in his talent and you've got a phenomenal talent like no other."

  "So you'll be in a class all of your own. It's the talent that gets you there, the voice, the band, the music. You've all got it."

  Sera sighs. "Jared Leto. Wow, those eyes of his and his smile."

  "Oh boy, Jared. Do you happen to know him?" I ask.

  Jesse frowns when Ethan tells me he can introduce me sometime. Sera and I wiggle our eyebrows at each other.

  "Mmm, Jared."

  "Back to the topic at hand," he says with a pointed look. "Just let us know what spots you've got open and we're on it." Jesse looks to Cage who nods. With the band and Cage working together, we can't go wrong.

  "Well, it depends. Sera do you want to drum full-time?"

  Xander laughs.

  "Find something amusing, drummer boy?" Sera grits out.

  "Yeah, your skinny arms drummer girl."

  "I was skinner than this in high school and not nearly as toned."

  "Flex a muscle, darlin'."

  She does and I'm pretty impressed. He raises his brows then reaches over and squeezes underneath her arm. She rolls her eyes.

  "Please. As if I wouldn't firm that shit up. It's a woman's weak spot."

  Jesse squeezes me
in that spot and grins.

  "Smart ladies."

  "We started out with a trainer who was like Hitler on crack. He taught us a good regimen then wanted to tell us what we could and couldn't eat and that was it for me," Sera tells them.

  I nod. "There is no messing with my food. I eat what I want, how much I want, and when I want. Don't be trying to take away my peanut M&Ms or I'll cut a bitch."

  Jesse chuckles and rests his arm behind me on the arm of the chair, his hand resting on my lower back. Jace notices and his eyebrows go up. I roll my eyes at his public touchy-feely display and Jace grins.

  "I think you forgot something, Lucy."

  "I did?"

  "You did. You forgot to introduce me to the best damn band ever."

  "Oh my God! Please forgive my error." Sarcasm is my friend, I embrace her with love. "At the head of the table down there is Cage Nichols, multi-business owner, record and video producer extraordinaire." They greet each other with a nod.

  "Next is Ethan Ashcroft, bass guitarist for Falling down. Then we have the ever quiet Kennedy Caldwell on rhythm guitar, the bratty Ben Kingston on lead guitar, and the ever critical Xander Mackenzie on drums. Next to me, currently groping my ass is the man with the sexiest voice around, none other than Jesse Kingston. Guys, meet Jace Warner, bass guitarist for," I pause and look at Sera and Jace questioning and they both nod. "Blush."

  "Fucking perfect," Xander says with a clap. "That is fucking perfect for you. Blush."

  I blush then and he points and laughs.

  "Fuck off," I say with a laugh. "It was the name of our band in high school."

  "Where are the other members, Lucy?"

  I sigh and look at Jesse sadly. "They've got responsibilities and lives and kids and good jobs and… strings they don't want to tug on."

  He nods. "Got it. Sera's got drums? Or are you going on guitar?"

  I can see she's torn.

  "It's easier to find good, reliable drummers than it is guitarists--but only because I know more of them." Cage nods to Jesse in agreement.

  I bite my lip and Jesse reaches out and smoothes it with his thumb. "Don't."

  "I can't help it. Nervous habit."

  He ignores my statement and looks to Sera for her answer.

  "Rhythm guitar."

  "Good choice. You being up front with Lucy will bring in the guys. Jace and whoever we get, if it's a guy, will bring in the girls."