Heart of Stone

  I pushed open their bedroom door. Jade was just stretching. Her shiny blonde hair was splayed out over the pillow, and her cheeks were extra pink. I heard Colt walk in behind me, but I continued to ignore him. He was a Stone, and at the moment, I didn’t want to talk to anyone with that notorious last name.

  “Jeez, you even look like a damn princess when you just wake up,” I complained as I pulled up the blanket and crawled in next to her. “You probably don’t even get morning breath.” I laid my head on the pillow and faced her. “Never mind. I guess you’re not completely immortal.”

  Jade laughed. “What’s wrong? You look upset.”

  “Yep, shit has been blowing through a very large fan since last night.” I turned and looked back at Colt who was hovering over the bed with his brooding green stare and messy black hair. I stared pointedly at him. He knew me well enough to know that I was telling him to bug off but he stayed. “Uh, pretty boy, isn’t there something you can do? Like polish up those tattoos or brush out those ridiculous eyelashes?” I asked.

  “Normally, two hot girls stretched out in my bed would make my pulse race, but since one of the girls is you, Street, I think I’ll just go out and tend to those eyelashes, like you suggested. The tattoos are already so fucking awesome they don’t need polish.” With that, he turned and headed to the door.

  “By the way, Slade is taking Hunter to the hospital this morning.”

  Colt turned back around. “Why?”

  “He tried to crawl into my window this morning, and my mom thought he was an alien. She smacked him on the head with a vase.” I heard Jade gasp behind me. “He was a little unsteady and he’s going to need stitches, but I’m sure the blow to his head didn’t make him any stupider than he already was.”

  Colt stared at me for a second. “O.K. then, I’ll just head out of here so you two can talk. I’m getting some strong anti-Stone vibes in here.”

  “Good idea.” I lifted my arm and waved him out.

  I flipped back over to face Jade, and my real emotions poured out. “I’m done, Jade. I can’t be around Hunter anymore. I can’t just be there when he needs me in bed. Every time I’m with him, I leave a little piece of my heart, of myself, behind. Pretty soon there just won’t be anything left. Nothing is going to break through that stubborn pig-ass barrier of his.” A sob rolled from my mouth. Jade pressed her hand against my arm.

  I sniffled and swiped away a tear. “He fucks every girl he meets and then glowers at every man who comes within ten feet of me. It’s not fair.”

  “I totally agree, Amy. It’s not. Have you let him know that you’re done with this arrangement?”

  “I have. Last night he caught me at a vulnerable moment.” I stopped and took a deep breath. “My mom was taping shut the kitchen cupboards so the aliens wouldn’t get inside.”

  Jade’s blue eyes glossed with sympathy. I hated being pitied. I loathed it, in fact. My life had always been hard but being pitied was the one thing that made it worse. Only, for some reason, when it came from Jade, I didn’t mind. It made me feel better. She’d lived a nightmarish life too. She knew what hopelessness felt like. She understood. “That would have anyone feeling blue, Amy. What are her doctors saying?”

  I shrugged. “They think she needs to go into a hospital. But I can’t do that. That would be the end of her.” My throat tightened. “I’d be alone.”

  Jade opened her mouth to speak, but I shook my head without lifting it from the pillow. “I know you’re going to tell me that I have all of you. I know I do, and having you as my best friend has been the best thing to happen to me since—” I thought about how to end the sentence. “Shit, since forever, I guess. But my mom is the only family I have left. Most of the time she’s nuttier than an ice cream sundae, but occasionally, she still drifts back into reality, you know? The other day, we decided to pig out and we made this crazy ass thing I’d found on the internet. It was a frying pan filled with chocolate chips and marshmallows and we dipped graham crackers in it. We sat and watched this old scary movie. Damn are those black and white movies corny. But we laughed and shoveled marshmallow and chocolate into our mouths and watched the stupid movie. It was only an hour or so later when she started pacing the hall with a flashlight because she was sure she saw a strange, red bug climb up the wall. But for that short span of time, with the corny movie and the marshmallows, I was sitting with my mom again. My family.”

  Jade reached over and placed her hand on my face. “You do what you think is right by your mom, Amy. It’s no one else’s business but yours.”

  I leaned over and hugged her. “I knew you’d understand. That’s why I had to climb in the car and drive over here. Plus, it’s always fun to irritate Colt. It’s sort of a hobby of mine.”

  She smiled. “I noticed. And you do a good job of it.” We sat up and scooted back against the wall. “So, what really happened with Hunter?”

  I pulled my legs out from under the blanket and crossed them at the ankles. “We were messing around, and I found a pair of panties in his pocket with some girl’s phone number written on the crotch.”

  “Yuck.”

  “Yeah, I know. Anyhow, that was it. I just got dressed.” I smiled thinking about how I’d left him. “He’d given me some really hot oral sex first, so I was done anyhow. Poor guy was sporting a big ole woody when I walked out on him.”

  She laughed. “I guess that’s the last time he’ll make sure to satisfy you first.”

  “I might have scarred him for life. He might never go down on a girl again.” We broke into wild peals of laughter. I pressed my arm against my stomach to stop it from hurting. “Oh my gosh, I broke Hunter Stone.”

  Jade pulled in a deep breath. Her face was red from laughing. I put my arm around her shoulder. “I’m so glad I came by. I already feel way better. I sure hope the big moose’s head is O.K.. He was really gushing blood, and he was swaying on his feet. Thought I was going to have to yell timber.” Another laugh spurted from my lips, but this one fell far short of the laughing fit we’d just recovered from. I leaned my head back against the wall and turned my face toward Jade. “Tell me what to do.”

  “That all depends on what your final goal is.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Are you really done with Hunter, or do you want to make him so nuts with missing you, he realizes he can’t live without you?”

  It was a good and completely logical question, but I had no good or logical answer. Deep in my heart, I’d always seen myself with Hunter, but he’d made it clear that we were never really going to be together. “I don’t know, Jade. When I picture myself without him, it’s almost as if a part of me will just wilt into nothing and die. But then there’s another part of me that says I’ve already wasted too much time waiting for him to come around. I want what you have with Colt. I want to know that Hunter would be lost without me. I want him to wake up thinking about me and go to sleep thinking about me just like I do about him. I want him to feel that same tug in his chest that I feel in mine every time he looks at me. But I’ve been fooling myself. Hunter doesn’t feel the same about me as I do about him. I’m wasting my time.”

  “I’m not pretending to know Hunter better than you, but maybe, since I see him from outside of the odd little circle you two have built around you, I see him in a different light. There are times when you’re in the room and you’re busy talking to someone else, even just Colt or Slade, and Hunter doesn’t take his eyes off of you.” She rotated on her bottom and faced me. “No other guy will get near you because they know Hunter won’t like it. That has to count for something. Yeah, it’s a thickheaded, cocksure way of showing love, but it might be the only way he knows how. Let’s face it, these guys probably never heard a nice word or sentiment of love the entire time they were growing up. Hunter cares for you. You have to know that.”

  “Thanks. I know he cares about me in his weird, Stone way, but it’s just not enough anymore.”

  She took hold of both my hands
. “Well then, we need to help you find what you’re looking for.”

  Chapter 4

  Hunter

  The dusty yellow lamp hanging over the table was making my head hurt, and the tobacco stained walls of the tiny, dirty kitchen were closing in on me, bringing back some of the earlier nausea. I’d known damn well that chasing a painkiller with a couple of beers was going to produce a major buzz, but I didn’t give a fuck. The cards in my hand were a fuzzy blur of red and black, but I could see well enough to know I had a shitty hand. I’d spent my last twenty anyhow. “I’m folding, and I’m out for the night.”

  Sully lifted his thin lip in a snarl. He couldn’t have been more than thirty, but he had leathery skin that always looked coated in grit from the road as if he’d been riding his motorcycle down the highway for hours. The asshole always wanted to bleed everyone dry before they left the poker table, but I’d left enough blood on my shirt and front porch this morning. I didn’t have any more to give. And my pockets were empty too.

  Fletch, a big doughy guy who could suck down a large supreme pizza in one short sitting, grinned over the top of his cards. “There’s always the pink slip to that sweet Harley Davidson you have parked out front.”

  I placed down my cards and smiled. “Hell, I’d just as soon cut off my right arm and toss it on that pot before putting down that pink slip. I’m out. It’s been a fucked up day, and my head is splitting. Hey, do you mind if I crash on your couch tonight? I’m pretty sure this fog in my head is going to get in the way of me finding my way home.”

  “Sure thing, Stone. Just watch the fleas don’t eat you up. I found that couch on the end of a driveway waiting for the garbage man to pick it up. Perfectly good couch, except they must have had a bunch of dogs or something.”

  I glanced through to the small front room where the faded couch was pushed up against the cracked wall. “I’m so fucking numb from these painkillers, they can bite away. I won’t even notice them.”

  Fletch’s cheeks wobbled with a laugh. As far as I knew the guy was really sketchy and ruthless, but it was hard to see him as anything other than jolly because of those fat cheeks. “You might even kill them with all the chemicals you’ve got in your bloodstream.” He sat back and the metal chair creaked under his weight. “And with that, I’m out too. You boys finish this round and go home, eh? Sun’s going to be up in an hour, and I need some sleep.” The other players grumbled at being kicked out before dawn.

  Slade had been right. They really were at the bottom of the human chain, especially Sully, who looked like he’d just as soon kill a person as look at them. I’d fallen in with them strictly because of the bikes. Colt and Slade had never shared my love for motorcycles. Slade loved the ocean, thankfully, the only trait he’d inherited from our dad. And Colt liked to build things. But for me, if I wasn’t riding full throttle down a highway, I was leaning under my bike tinkering with it.

  Sully and Fletch had the same bike obsession. My two shady companions were sort of an unofficial arm of a local outlaw club, not really fully fledged members but rather spare guys for when the club needed something dirty to go down without the official club patch being involved. I knew they were into some really ugly shit, but in their down time, they liked to play poker and ride motorcycles. So I hung with them.

  I walked out to the couch. It looked even less inviting close up. The cushions were stained and dented as if some giant ass, probably Fletch’s, had left a permanent mark in them. But I was in no mood to drive home. With the way I was feeling, I wasn’t completely sure I wouldn’t just ride my bike straight off the coastal cliff. Amy had left the same dent in my chest as Fletch had put in the couch cushion. But there wasn’t anything I could do about it. While the doctor had been busy needle and threading my head, I’d been busy trying to convince myself that I just had to give her up for good.

  I turned my arm and stared down at the tattoo of the Led Zeppelin album cover. Amy had never figured out the connection. She’d never discovered that I’d gotten it to remind me of her, my Street Corner Girl. It was a subtle way to keep her with me wherever I went, so subtle that she had no idea it was about her. She’d always just figured I was a big Zeppelin fan.

  Fletch followed me into the room with a beer can in one hand and a joint in the other. He sat on the big easy chair, another dumped by the curbside furniture find. He plopped down on it, as I sat on the couch. My vision was still blurry enough to make the crummy little apartment look less filthy. The second my arms touched the cushions behind me, I started itching.

  Fletch laughed. “They already getting to you? You must have great tasting blood.”

  I looked down at the red mark I’d just left on my arm. “I don’t see them, but I think the idea that they are here with me, staring out at me with their little feelers and long teeth, has made me start itching. Of course, it could be the painkillers.”

  “Nah, it’s the bugs.” He gulped back some beer and then burped. “So, you tapped out early tonight. Are you strapped for cash? I told you I can get you in on one of our gigs. Nice pay for little work.”

  “No thanks. The last thing I want is to be tied to an outlaw club. I’ve already got enough trouble following me wherever I go. I’m good anyhow.”

  “You still working for Rincon?”

  My face popped up.

  “Yeah, I know you’re running blow for him. I’ve got a friend who’s part of his circle. The guy likes to flap his jaws.”

  “Great. Just what I need. Colt’s already wanting out of the business, and I think when Slade has enough cash, he’ll be getting back to fishing like the old man. I can’t do it alone, so I’ll have to find something legit to do. Probably about time I do that anyhow. I feel like I’m heading off the deep end with the way my life is going right now.”

  He sucked on the joint and squinted through the smoke as he handed it across to me. “For the pain,” he said through gritted teeth. He blew out the smoke. I took the joint from his fingers. “You never did say how you split your scalp.” He grinned. “Let me guess— an angry boyfriend caught you in bed with his chick.”

  “Yeah, sure. That sounds way better than getting crowned by a lady who thought I was an alien crawling in through her window.”

  He laughed. “What the fuck?”

  I shook my head. “Never mind.” I took a long hit. It would either make my head feel better or worse. I was leaning toward better because I couldn’t feel much worse.

  Fletch leaned forward over his round belly. “I think I see a flea on your arm.”

  I swiped at it and pushed up from the couch. “Hell, Fletch, why don’t you take the thing out to the dumpster and give it the final burial it needs?”

  He sat back and shrugged. “I didn’t see the damn things until after I dragged the fucking thing up here.”

  “So, because you had to put out the effort to bring the thing up here, you’re just going to let it stay, even though it’s infested with fleas?”

  “Guess so.”

  “That’s where you and I are different, Fletch. I would have taken that couch right back out.” I hated it when my brother was right. I walked over and grabbed my coat off the television stand. The T.V. had been broken long ago in a drunken brawl after a poker game had turned ugly, but the stand was still in the corner.

  “Thought you were staying the night.” Fletch said.

  “I’ll risk the ride home. Better than being eaten alive by fleas. Later.” I walked to the door.

  “Remember, if you ever need some serious extra cash, we could use a guy like you.”

  “Yeah.” I walked out. A guy like me, the statement swirled through my foggy head. I was pretty fucking tired of being a guy like me.

  Chapter 5

  Amy

  Slade came up behind me so quietly, I hadn’t heard him over the clamor in the bar. I swung around with my tray and nearly slammed into him.

  He scooted back. “Damn, Street, watch what you’re doing.”

  It had bee
n three days since the broken vase incident. I hadn’t spoken to Hunter and I’d successfully avoided him, not an easy feat considering I lived exactly sixty-five steps from his front door. But tonight, my heart had done a quiet flip flop when he’d walked in the door with Slade. Lazy Daze was their usual beer place, and I knew I’d eventually have to see him. But it still took a good half hour to gather my wits after he’d slid into their usual booth.

  “Why are you sneaking up on me like a cat on a mouse, Slade? What do you need?”

  “Jeez, nice way to treat your paying customers.”

  I laughed. “Paying? With the measly tips you shell out, I might even be able to buy a new bottle of nail polish in a week or two. If I save up.” I motioned to the carafe of wine on the counter. “Grab that, would ya? This tray is already full.”

  He grabbed the wine and walked with me across the room. “I know things are kind of strained between you and the giant, unmovable rock sitting in the booth over there, but he’s not me. And I’m not him.”

  “Your point?” I turned away from him and lowered the tray to the table. I placed the pitcher and glasses in front of the customers. I grabbed the wine from Slade and put it on the table.

  Slade followed me. “I’m saying— just because you’re mad at him, doesn’t mean you have to be mad at me.”

  I turned to him and pinched his cheek extra hard. He winced. “How can I ever be mad at you? You’re like a big, smelly stray dog.”

  “Thanks. And smelly? I think not.” He kept pace with me as I hurried back to get more drinks.

  “You’re still following me,” I said.

  We got to the bar counter. I turned to face him. As hard as I’d tried to not let my attention fall on the booth where Hunter was sitting, I glimpsed him over Slade’s shoulder. He looked handsome and heartbreaking and angry, like always. The only difference tonight was that I hadn’t spoken to him at all, and he didn’t have his usual bevy of cock groping, Stone brother groupies hanging around him.