Downpour

  “May I help you?” a nurse asked from behind me. It startled me a little and I shoved my hands in my back pockets. She watched me carefully and then proceeded to check Frank’s vitals.

  “I’m Max Valentine. This is my…”

  “Wow, the much discussed Max. Your uncle has done nothing but brag about his favorite nephew since he started his treatment,” she smiled. I fidgeted nervously in my shoes.

  “His treatment? How long has that been?” I asked shyly.

  “You didn’t know? I’m sorry. He’s been suffering from Adenocarcinoma for the last 10 months.” As she spoke my mind went blank. Nothingness weaved itself through my eyes. She realized I didn’t understand and nodded patiently.

  “A terrible form of lung cancer,” she said soft and caring. A sigh escaped from her quietly. It was obvious she had come to care for my uncle. It was surprisingly easy to do.

  “Cancer?”

  “I’m sorry Max. He’s had the best possible care.” She tried to comfort me. Her words were too heavy for me.

  “Ten months?” I gasped. My shoulders caved under the weight of my guilt. Why hadn’t anyone told me?

  “I didn’t mean to upset you. Your uncle is a very strong man. Just look at his results, they seem to be improving as we speak,” she said, questioning the latest print out from the nearest monitor. I pulled my still warm hands from my pockets and rubbed them together. Maybe there was still a little juice left in me after all.

  “Max? Is that you son?” Frank asked, groggily waking up. His hand reached for mine.

  “Yes old man…I'm home.” I tried so hard to not let the tears out that were pushing at the back of my eyes.

  “You look good…” he coughed out.

  “Don’t talk Uncle. Sleep. We can catch up later.” I glanced at the nurse for assurance and she nodded in agreement.

  “Tomorrow morning,” she added.

  “So much to tell you…” he drifted off. A rough and wet cough followed, making my tears push themselves out. The nurse pushed past me with a concerned look and I took the hint.

  “Rest Uncle. I’ll see you in the morning,” I whispered and kissed his forehead.

  “Visiting hours start at 9 but if you come by earlier, I’ll make an exception.” Her smile calmed me slightly. He was obviously in the best possible hands here.

  “Thank you,” I said. I quietly walked out of his room with my head beginning to pound. I closed the door behind me and turned and rested my forehead against the cool door. I felt so drained. I had so many questions, so many crazy thoughts swirling around my head. I was dizzy. After a moment of centering myself I raised my head and turned around. When I did, I was shocked.

  Samantha was at the end of the hallway talking to the nurse who casually sat on duty behind her desk. She was up on her toes to see the nurse over the higher than normal desk. For some reason the nurse stayed seated while they talked. Samantha was still petite and in great shape. Her torso was covered by one of those little summer dresses she was so fond of. Her hair was shorter now but still long enough to fall past her shoulders. It looked darker too. I couldn’t tell if it was really darker or just the hospital lighting. Her golden-blond locks were tinted with an amber hue as she ran her bangs behind her ear. My heart skipped a beat while I watched in slow motion.

  “Sam…” I barely spoke. As her eyes caught the first glimpse of me she froze in her stance. The flowers she was holding slipped to the floor where she stood. The half smile she wore faded instantly. I leaned my hand against my uncle’s door, trying to steady my shaky legs. The world was spinning again and trying its hardest to throw me from it. As the world slowed its assault, my eyes focused back on her stunned face. She quickly turned from my glare and ran out of the hospital doors.

  “Stop the world,” I whispered to no one.

  “I want to get off.”

  11:00 a.m.

  Back at the driveway of my uncle’s house I stood silent, staring at the front door. It looked exactly as I remembered it. Next to me was my uncle’s old truck. It still looked like I remembered, though the artwork for his business; Lava Landscaping, was a little scratched up. A calmness blanketed me as I reached for the doorknob. I was home. As I slowly walked through the front door a familiar sound greeted me.

  “Woof! Woof! Woof!”

  “Easy Oz, it’s me!” I laughed. “I’m home.” His barks fell to a faint growl as he recognized me instantly. My little bodyguard. The miracle wiener dog that I saved my first day on the island. I missed him so much. His fur was a thicker coat of reddish brown with black peppered throughout it. He had put on a little weight, but he still looked healthy and tone.

  “Come here lil' man,” I said with my hands outstretched. He hesitated and let out a tiny whimper. I smiled and he ran and jumped into my arms. His tail slapped my body furiously as his tongue found my face. He was beyond happy, and for the first time in a while I felt accepted again.

  “I missed you too big guy.” I scratched his belly. He jumped from my arms and ran in circles around me. I followed him as best as I could without making myself too dizzy. After a couple of rotations he darted down the hallway towards my old room. I followed with a second wind in my chest. He jumped onto my old bed and spun in two circles before plopping down in the middle of the bedding.

  “Just like old times,” I teased. He barked for me to join him, so I obliged and jumped right next to him. After a round of playful wrestling I took a moment to absorb my surroundings. My room looked almost exactly as I remembered it. I jumped to my feet and opened my bedroom window. The island air washed into the room like an overflowing river. It was sweet and moist but was missing something. No sign of Asia’s scented rain at all.

  I sighed and grabbed a towel from my dresser and made my way to the shower. After cleaning up I made a stop in the kitchen. It was barely afternoon but I was hungry for dinner. I opened the fridge to find it almost empty. That was strange for my uncle’s place, he always kept the fridge fully stocked. Looked like I was destined to hit the market soon. There was barely enough leftovers to piece together a make shift dinner for me and my bodyguard.

  As we ate side by side on my bed, my mind kept rushing back to seeing Sam again. She looked so good and so different at the same time. It took all of my strength not to pick up the phone and call her. Besides, she didn’t look like she wanted to talk to me anytime soon. She knew I was back now, and it was just a matter of time before she found me. Or so I thought. I thought wrong.

  After a few hours with nothing but hopes of Sam calling I needed to decompress. Her silence was killing me, but my mind felt paralyzed by my uncle Frank’s diagnosis. Before I knew it I found myself in front of the computer looking up any and everything I could find about lung cancer. After the twentieth or so website my head hurt and my eyes began to blur. Sadly, I didn’t find any of the answers I was looking for.

  “Welcome home Mad Max,” I mocked myself. Drained and numb I shut down the computer. My old bodyguard had not left my side all night. I reached down and messed Oz’s fur on the top of his head.

  “I’ve still got you though…huh, lil' man.”

  “Woof!” he shot back. A small smile found me again but it only lasted for a brief moment. I closed my bedroom window and fell across my soft bed. Oz and I fell asleep quickly and I dreamt of Fiji and Asia’s blue eyes. It was a long and restless sleep.

  Thorns - 10

  ~Bare Hands: Delta Goodrem~

  Saturday morning - 10:33 a.m. - November 18th.

  The morning was starting off slow. Oz and I sluggishly stepped into the kitchen. The floor was cold on my bare feet. Oz stretched his long body outward; letting his hind legs drag along the floor behind him. The night was a long one. I tossed and turned for most of it. I still wasn’t used to not having Asia next to me at night. My withdrawals had already begun. The inner fire inside me was going to have a hard time without its counterpart. The flames needed her touch, and my body filled with a dull ache because of it.
>
  I was also becoming frustrated with the fact that Sam hadn’t at least called to talk, but as I reached toward the ceiling and popped the bones in my back, I decided I couldn’t really blame her. She had given herself to me and I left her standing there, crying and alone. I tried to not think about that right now. When I pulled open the refrigerator door it dawned on me that there was no food inside.

  “Road trip,” I called to Oz. He sat up with a yawn. His tail wagged as his eyes lit up at the idea of going for a ride.

  The morning breeze was crisp and clean. I let my hand surf the current of air as I drove along the empty road. Oz stretched his tiny torso as far as possible on the other side of the truck. His back paws barely touching the seat as his nose sniffed the breeze furiously. His long furry ears flapped behind him. That brought a much-needed smile to my lips.

  Minutes later, the truck rolled to a stop at the local supermarket. As I began to open my door, Oz seemed to catch a scent that made his hair stand on end. He sniffed so hard I thought he might hyperventilate.

  “What is it little man? What do you smell?”

  “Woof.” He hopped up against my body. When I reached for him, he barked again and jumped through my arms and out the truck door. He hit the ground running like a dog possessed.

  “Ozzie!” I called. He ignored my surprised tone and kept up his pursuit. I quickly shut the door and ran after him. He rounded the corner of the market and sprinted for the adjacent park. It was full of trees and thick wet grass that had just been mowed. He pushed his little legs past one bench and then another and another. As he whipped behind another tree I thought for certain I would lose him for good. I pushed my legs harder and rounded the tree as quick as I could. When I did I found him nowhere in sight.

  “Great,” I huffed. My hands filled with steam as my temper flared. I turned around in mid pout and found the wind knocked from me. My eyes didn’t seem to want to focus on what was right before me. I mean…who was right in front of me. Foolishly I tried with all my might to focus on the sight and, my stomach knotted instantly. Oz had caught the scent of someone familiar doing something completely unfamiliar.

  Sam stood before me with her arms around Kai and they were kissing lightly. Nothing too passionate, but enough to clear up why Kai seemed so angry with me before. As he leaned down and softly pushed against her small frame he seemed to be extra careful to not get too close. The knot in my stomach doubled in size as I watched his hand slide down the arch of her little back. The mysterious anger Kai showed me on the phone began to make sense. Hard, painful sense.

  "Woof," Oz announced before gently leaping up onto Sam’s leg. She was startled at first and then confused at his presence. Her arms wrapped themselves around the large bag she was wearing around her neck and across her chest. She slowly knelt down to him with a whisper. I wish I could have understood what she had said, but I was lost in a deafening spin of anger as my eyes met with my long lost best friend.

  "Max…" Kai gritted through his teeth. He stepped forward as I lost a step backwards, trying not to fall over from my shock. He looked exactly like I remembered. Tall, lanky and a head full of light brown dreadlocks. They were only half as long as I remembered.

  "Sam?" I asked, choking on my anger. She rose quickly back to her feet, carefully caressing the bag across her chest. At that moment, my eyes blurred from the heat radiating off my cheeks as I realized that she was not holding a bag at all. Strapped snugly and safely along her torso was a little baby girl. She was wrapped in a pink little cap and her eyes flickered at me. They were big and alive with wonder and just as beautifully green as her mothers. I felt my legs give a little as her face disappeared behind Sam’s protective shoulders.

  "Sam?" I asked again, slowly. Her eyes turned from happiness to anger and distrust. That surprised me a little, and before I could say another word Kai stepped in front of both of them. He was mad at the sight of me and held his arm behind him as if to protect the girls from my presence.

  "The prodigal son returns!" Kai cursed in a growl. It barely broke my concentration off of Sam and the baby, but it did.

  "What?" I said upset. Oz ran behind my legs, unsure of what to do. A small whimper escaped him as Kai took a step closer and I tensed my body, ready for the unexpected. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. I couldn't focus my thoughts. I could barely speak.

  "Finally come home to tend to your uncle huh?" he spit. Sam’s eyes peeked up at me from the back of Kai’s shoulders. They were still as green as emeralds and reflected pure confidence.

  "Sam can we talk?" I asked, ignoring Kai and his anger.

  "Or are you here for Madison?" He shoved me hard, and if I hadn't been completely numbed by his last statement, I might have shoved him back. Their child had my true name. The name I grew up with hating. I wanted to scream, but instead I swallowed my tongue and found Sam’s hurt eyes again. She tried to look away from me but couldn't. That made my chest tighten more. Kai only grew angrier as he watched Sam and I connect again.

  "Sam…please…" I begged over Kai’s shoulder. That was enough for him.

  "Leave!" he ordered with another shove. This time though I felt the fire in me take over. Best friend or not…I was at my breaking point. My hands began to shake at my frustration. Just in time though, Sam reached out with one hand and slowly grabbed Kai’s flexing arm. She pulled it back down to his side and she slowly stepped up next to him. She still shielded her baby from my prying eyes as best she could. Her big green eyes found my confused stare.

  “Please…” I begged, and just as I thought I had made a connection with her she nodded no and turned away from me. I felt the air leave me as Kai reluctantly followed her lead. He scooped up their picnic blanket and loose things, but never eased his protective glare. I wanted to run.

  "Please." I stuttered one last time but I could hardly hear the word as I spoke it. For a fleeting moment Sam’s eyes found mine again, this time without her guard. In that quiet second she was the Sam I had left behind. The Sam I loved. The Sam I had broken with my leaving. She was beautiful. My Sam. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew the babies little cap from her head and revealed her dark brown hair. It was mildly thick and full of wild curls that danced in the fresh breeze. She looked like my little sisters twin. Only with Sam’s amazing eyes.

  “Mia…” I gasped to myself. Sam heard me though and tears began to stream from her eyes. It was no coincidence that her baby girl looked like my long past sister. She was mine. Sam had given birth to our child while I was gone. No one had told me anything. Before I could understand another thought, they were gone, and I was on the ground dizzy. Oz licked my face nervously as I lay there imploding. As the world kept spinning. I gave up.

  "I want to get off…"

  I lay motionless for what felt like hours before I could gather my thoughts enough to leave. Oz and I made our way to the truck and drove directly to the hospital. Surely uncle Frank would have some answers for me, but when we arrived there I found my uncle neither talkative nor awake. One of his nurses informed me that he had been through a batch of tests first thing in the morning, and that he would probably be down for the rest of the day and night. The good news was that if he felt up to it when he awoke the next day, he would be allowed to go home with me.

  I shrugged off the news in a fog as I made my way back to the parking lot. I was an emotional zombie by now anyway. As I walked through the halls of the hospital, I noticed something very interesting. Everyone on my uncle’s particular floor seemed to be catering to him and him only. I found that weird. Maybe I was just reading into things too much. My mind was bubble gum at the moment. It’s not everyday that you find out you are a father.

  On the drive back home I tried to call Sam on my cell phone but she didn’t answer. By the look on her face this morning, I didn’t think she would be accepting my calls anytime soon. Back at home, I found myself pacing the house over and over again. Why hadn’t anyone told me about little Madison? First the news of my
uncles sickness, now this. Had I really cut myself off from the world that badly? I looked out the window hoping to see those familiar thunderclouds, but found shinning blue skies.

  “Grrr…woof!” Oz announced from the floor, waking me from my daydream. I looked down at him and he danced in place.

  “You would have told me…wouldn’t you?” I smiled. He barked and jumped up on me. When he did, it knocked me off balance and I fumbled against the small table that held our phone. Next to it was a rack with folded bills and loose papers. They all fell to the ground, making my temper flare for no reason.

  “Damn it,” I cursed under my breath. I gathered up most of the papers and Oz did his part too. He picked up one piece in his mouth and nudged it into my hands. I noticed it was a medical bill. A rather large medical bill. As I quickly shuffled through the handful of papers, I quickly realized they were almost all medical statements and bills. They all had the same startling thing in common too.

  “What the?” I asked the quiet house. At the bottom of every page was one name. A name I knew too well…Asia Michaels.

  “Asia,” I gasped. Every bill dated back to around the time just before I found her in Mexico. My mind raced back to the time she had so boldly stated…

  “I TAKE CARE OF THE ONES I LOVE…”

  Later that evening I lay in bed with my thoughts racing. I thought about Frank’s medical staff and how they all seemed to be there for him and only him. It all made sense now. For Asia and the ones she loved, money was no object. I reached over and picked up my phone and quickly dialed her number. The line was no longer in service.

  She was gone. Again.