One Direction: Who We Are: Our Official Autobiography

  I’m really aware that the success of One Direction has taken me away from home and my family prematurely. I was only 17 when this all started on The X Factor, after all. It has played with my mum’s head a fair bit. It’s hard for her and Dad to understand sometimes. There are so many things in my life that are perfectly normal to me, but they – understandably – aren’t able to comprehend or grasp them. They do sometimes say, ‘We don’t know how you deal with some of the issues, Liam,’ but you just learn, don’t you? I’ve had to be so independent from a young age, and I haven’t experienced that period of my life with my parents where they watched me grow up into a young man. I don’t get to spend too much time at home – I do go back quite a lot but not as much as I’d like. It was quite a bit for them to take in. I actually think in a way it was much harder for them than it was for me, because I’m always around other people during the day. But for my parents, it must have been a very strange thing to suddenly not have me in the house.

  However, being in One Direction has brought some massive benefits to my life. The biggest upsides for me are being able to give my family a good life and things they can enjoy doing, a nicer house and the fact that they don’t really have to worry about when the next cheque is coming in. Mind you, my dad still works every single day! He goes months without having a day off and is proud of that fact. He’s a working-class man and loves going out to his job. Nothing will ever change for my parents in that sense, and if Dad stops work he’ll be bored.

  I can see bits and pieces of that work ethic in myself, which I’ve obviously picked up from my parents. If I hadn’t made a go of my singing then I might well have followed Dad into an apprenticeship at his factory. Although I’m in this massive band, have a nice house and can in theory buy anything I want or go anywhere in the world, I like being at work ’cos it’s something I enjoy doing. I also like the fact that we make a physical product – the fact that we record a song and it becomes part of an album. Maybe that’s a working-class idea too. I enjoy putting my earphones on and listening to what we have all created.

  Something else that being in One Direction has given me is lots of amazing new friendships. I’ve been lucky enough to meet some incredible people along the way. Sometimes I don’t think I have that many friends – but you don’t need that many, just a few special ones. You do get to meet some really interesting characters.

  Getting back to the second album tour, it all started off with multiple gigs at the O2. I found that pretty bizarre, to be honest. I’ve been to watch a couple of shows there, such as JLS, and it was a gig that we’d always aimed to go and do. It’s a beautiful place to play. Whenever I go there and I’m watching someone else’s show it makes me really wanna play there again. When I was younger there was a chance to go on a school trip to the Millennium Dome, as it was called back in the day. I wanted to go but my sister fancied it as well, and we couldn’t afford for both of us to go. I was just a dippy kid back then, and my parents thought Ruth would remember and appreciate the day more because she was older. So I never got to go. I was gutted. I remember when she came back she said, ‘I’ve got you a present from London.’ She’d bought me a Dome-shaped pencil sharpener. So I did chuckle a little to myself when we played there, as I got to the Millennium Dome in the end!

  There’s so much to take in every single day when you’re in One Direction, which is absolutely amazing, and we feel very lucky. Occasionally, it has a personal impact that you don’t expect. Sometimes when I’m on my own or hanging out I find myself unable to do normal things. I can’t seem to switch off, and if I do have a day off I get bored and then a bit sad ’cos I feel like I’m not doing enough. What more can I do today? It kinda does mess you around. I just can’t sit still for more than ten minutes. The only thing we’ve known for the last four years is get up and go, go, go! Add that to the way I was hyper when I was a kid and it makes me very restless.

  Sometimes it stops me sleeping too. I might find out some band news during the day if we have a Number 1 or something else exciting, and I lie in bed thinking about it for hours. I often find myself looking out of windows or from balconies just having a good think. To be honest, I’m terrible for not going to sleep. I’m always just contemplating what I have to do next or what else I can do, and end up thinking about so many different things for hours, sometimes till it’s almost morning. I simply don’t sleep very much. How can I with a hundred million things going on in my head? Mind you, when I finally do drift off I can sleep for hours. It just takes me a while to clock off!

  I’ve noticed being in the band seems to have affected me in other ways too. I am pretty confident mostly. However, I seem to have started to struggle with my confidence when it comes to some really mundane things, such as going shopping. I don’t go shopping that often, to be fair, but when I do I sometimes get quite nervous about buying something or trying something on. Mostly I’m absolutely fine but other times I can feel a little self-conscious. Occasionally it’s the same if I go into a bar – I find myself just standing there not shouting up. I just get nervous about standing out, I guess. I don’t know why that is, as I can happily stand in front of 50,000 people with the other boys and chat away and then perform with them, but for some reason I occasionally find it quite nerve-wracking to do certain everyday things. That’s crazy, isn’t it?

  You have to watch yourself around people too, because this job can make you very self-obsessed if you’re not careful. Some stars have people looking after them all day, every day, and they’re in interviews talking about themselves all the time. You can get into bad habits – for example, I had a phase of jumping in on conversations because I’d have some really exciting news about the band and I couldn’t wait to tell people. I’d interrupt, I wouldn’t take enough notice of what was going on in other people’s lives and I was rubbish at listening. I’d jump in halfway through someone else’s sentence and say, ‘Hey, guess what ...?!’ or whatever, interrupting them with some news about the band. You’ve gotta watch out for that. You need to keep that sense of perspective.

  I’m still no good at chatting up girls, but then that’s always been the case! I’ve always enjoyed having girlfriends and have been lucky enough to not be single for that long. When I was a kid I’d ask a lot of girls out at school. My mates used to pretend a girl liked me so that I’d ask her out and get turned down! Now when I’m out and I see a girl in a club I usually can’t find the courage to go and talk to her ... I get nervous, really bad.

  I also worry about whether I’ve spent too much money on something or not given enough to my family or whether I should or shouldn’t buy a house. These are all very big decisions that sometimes feel like they’re coming at me too fast, too young. Early on I used to look forward to having a big house, but I wanted to do the Uni/student stage of having a flat first. So I did that and got a lovely flat in London. Now I’m looking forward to picking a house that I might spend a lot of years in – but I’m only 21, so it’s kinda weird to be making these decisions. I worry about making mistakes with things like this. It’s nerve-wracking and a bit of a minefield sometimes. I always over-think absolutely every single detail. When I was at school I’d hear it at parents’ evenings: ‘He over-thinks,’ rather than just keeping it simple. I’m still learning a lot about life and what I want from it. With all this worry I can be my own worst enemy.

  Back at the O2 our friend Ben Winston, together with Morgan Spurlock, started filming us for what would become our first movie, This Is Us. I’m so glad we did that film. With One Direction it’s easy to forget so much about what’s happening to us. Sometimes loads happens in 24 hours, and it’s hard to remember that individual day – never mind the day or week or month before. That’s why I feel so lucky that we made the movie. It’s an amazing document of our experiences.

  Having the cameras on us for so long was difficult at times, especially if we wanted to chill out, but you have to kinda just roll with it. Besides, we all knew it was the biggest opportunity f
or One Direction, such an amazing thing for us to do. Even if someone came and made a movie just for us five for when we’re older, that would be sick, but the fact that so many people wanted to see it and understand us a bit more was a privilege.

  I actually haven’t watched the full movie yet! There was so much going on, and then when we went to the cinema for the première they pulled us out halfway through to go and do promo. So I’m really looking forward to the day when I’m old and grey and I can sit down with my kids and a bag of popcorn and say, ‘Come on, kids, this is what I was like when I was your age!’

  I’ve been lucky enough to have met some pretty famous celebrities and that’s a really fun part of my job. I don’t like to chat to celebrities too much because at the end of the day I’m a fan myself. I do get nervous meeting these people, plus I’m anxious not to get too much in their face. Our job does create amazing opportunities to meet people, though – starting with Robbie Williams, way back obviously, then people like Michael Bublé (my first ever gig!), even the Queen! So it can all get a bit weird. You’ve gotta know when to keep it low-key, I think. When we met Will Smith I just said, ‘Hello, I’m a big fan.’ I didn’t wanna stand there and say, ‘Ah, Will, matey, how’s the wife and kids?!’

  A few big names stand out, such as David Beckham. He was really cool. We were at some party and he was there too. I sat and had a chat with him, and he was sound. Next time I met Beckham I’d gone to watch a film called Class of ’92, which Ben Winston, our producer, was involved with. I walked in and there he was on the other side of the room. Amazingly, he clocked me and ... you know when lads give each other the nod? Well, I gave him the nod, he gave me the nod back, then to my shock he came straight over and said, ‘Hey, how are you doing, Liam?’ and shook my hand! I was like, This is mad! David Beckham just gave me the nod from the other side of the room. That’s sick! I tell all my mates this story.

  Another favourite celeb of mine is Pharrell Williams. What a nice guy! I got the opportunity to write with him one time when we were in the US and I was like, I’m 100% going! I’m not missing this! I went to the studio and I was sitting there in a chair, waiting. I was so nervous. It was the first session I’d ever done by myself and it was with one of the biggest music producers in the world. He’s still drilling out tunes, getting more massive every year. Every time I see him now he’ll come up to me and give me a hug and ask me how’s it going, and he wants us to go back in the studio. That’s a real buzz.

  I’m also a huge fan of Michael McIntyre. He’s just hilarious. I used to do a mean impression of him! We did the Pride of Britain Awards one time and he was there, and as soon as we walked in he started cracking jokes, 100 miles an hour. He was so funny. We got talking, I said, ‘I’m a huge fan,’ and we swapped numbers. He said, ‘I want you to come to a show and I’m going to take the mickey out of you all night if you do!’ When he texts me he calls me ‘One of the Directions’. He cracks me up all the time. I always think, This is weird! I used to sit and watch his DVDs at home and now he’s texting me ... I haven’t got the courage to go to a show yet, though!

  Someone put it to me that other people might see me in the same way – as a celebrity – but that’s not what we’re about at all. We’re well known for being in One Direction, I understand that, but most of the time I don’t realise the extent of our profile, to be fair. We do a lot of meet-and-greets with fans – you see the look on some people’s faces who can’t really say anything, and they’re breathing fast and they’re all nervous. But I can’t really associate that with me. Even though I know it’s because they’re meeting us, somehow it doesn’t stack up.

  I forget sometimes that my face is well known. I stay in my house a lot now because sometimes the reaction in public can be a bit intense. Me and my mate Paddy tried to go to Westfield shopping centre the other day, and I forgot that the schools were off for the holidays. We lasted about 20 minutes, then had to leave. Of course, I don’t see myself as a celebrity ... but I can see people staring, and I can sense them looking at me, gearing themselves up to come over and ask me a question or for a photo.

  Part of this inability to see ourselves as well known or famous is because I still think we’re normal lads in our early twenties, having a laugh. To be honest, the stuff we get up to is just the sort of stuff any bunch of 20-something lads would do if they got the chance. If you said to any 20-year-old lad, ‘You can have full-size football goals wherever you go, ride quad bikes, go-karts, you can mess about, you can run away from people who are telling you to do more work,’ he’d obviously say ‘Yes!’ Yes!’ Who wouldn’t do all this if they were lucky enough to be in that position? I’m just here to have a laugh.

  The first single from our third album was ‘Best Song Ever’, which was a great tune and a fun video to make. During that period, though, easily the most daunting thing we had to do for promo was 1D Day. We had to broadcast online for about seven hours, and as none of us had ever presented a TV show before we didn’t really know what to do! I’d been given all these sheets of script and directions, but to be honest I hadn’t done enough revision so the management were a bit worried! I was like, ‘I haven’t really got a clue what I’m doing here, lads!’ However, we made a go of it, and as I always say, ‘When have we ever let you down?’ We always get through these things somehow! Mind you, it was quite nerve-wracking because we were well aware of how many people were watching on the other side of the camera. Once we got into it we were fine, though, and even during my breaks I was just stuck to the telly watching it myself! That was a lot of fun. A good day, and we’ll have to do it again and make it even better!

  By the time we came to release our third album we’d become quite heavily involved in the songwriting itself. That was a big step up, all a part of us becoming more creative. When Midnight Memories went straight in at Number 1 in so many countries it was another big moment for us lads. We take nothing for granted, and because that album was very personal to us, seeing it do so well was a real vindication of our creative input.

  In the future I’d absolutely love to be a songwriter. That way I can stay in the industry and still challenge myself to write great songs, have hits and be around a job that I’ve loved. I don’t ever want to let this sort of thing go. There are so many stories of boy bands that have come and gone. A while ago there was a guy who came round to do Niall’s roof and he used to be in a very successful boy band. I’m not going to say who it was, but I was just thinking, He had success. He did really well. How did he go from there to fixing roofs?

  I’m worried about the idea of failing outside of this band. Songwriting really appeals to me because it’s something I absolutely love, something that’s a challenge and something that’s very creative. There would be less attention on my life too, of course, but mainly I’d just love to wake up every day and write songs. I’ve been lucky enough that my dream comes true every day, so in the future I need to make sure I enjoy the benefits of that and also keep challenging myself. So, yes, I do worry about what might happen after this band, but perhaps that’s only natural.

  Some people in this band are super, super driven. Some people have said I’m very driven, but I see it more as I just like to make the most of my time and I like to do stuff. I don’t know if I’d put myself in the ‘super-driven’ bracket, ’cos I do consider myself to be a bit lazy with certain things. Sometimes I need to sort my priorities out a bit. That’s why I get a bit worried if I get to the end of a day and don’t feel like I’ve worked hard enough. It was always the same with my course work when I was a kid. I actually think our work ethic from school has carried on into being in this band. When I went to college to study music technology I worked really hard and got distinctions in everything, except one subject. But I always felt like I could do more – and I still get that feeling every day. Maybe with One Direction that’s because I know we’re in a very fortunate position and I never want to take anything for granted.

  I wouldn’t be able to say why
I deserve to be in this position. I’m sure there are many people out there more talented than me, but for some reason I’ve kinda ended up here. You just have to make the most of it all, and that’s why we’re trying to make the band better the whole time. We owe it to ourselves – and to all our fans – to do that.

  Life in One Direction just seems to get more and morecrazy. After we had a three-month break at the start of 2014 we came back at the Brit Awards and it was just completely crazy again. Instantly. Like we’d never been away. The momentum just seems to constantly ramp up and up. So many amazing times. People often ask me what is my favourite moment from being in One Direction.

  Honestly? The whole experience has been my favourite moment.

  Sometimes I wonder how my childhood has prepared me for the madness that’s One Direction. On the one hand, there’s no preparing for this, certainly not on the scale the band has grown to. But I can see how certain things in my early years have helped. For starters, I was very independent from a young age. My parents separated when I was five, so I know how some kids find it hard if their parents aren’t together. Obviously, it was upsetting from that point of view, but at the same time I felt like I had the best of both worlds, living between two houses. I’ve no complaints. I had a childhood that everyone else who lived near me wanted to have. I went to a good primary school, a good secondary school and had a laugh with the lads. It was grand, and I was a very happy kid. Yes, I messed about at school quite a bit, but I was just having the best time.

  My mum lived out in the country, so I eventually decided to make my way back into town to live with Dad ’cos I had friends there. He used to work nights, so I ended up doing a lot of stuff for myself. My dad looked after me, obviously, but I also enjoyed doing my own washing and getting myself ready for school. People used to say to me, ‘You’re old before your years.’ That sense of independence was really useful later on when One Direction started and suddenly in my mid-teens I was thrown into this mad world of living away from home.