Your Love Is King

  He nodded. “Yeah, Ted and Pamela Russell.”

  “You look just like your mother.”

  “Yeah, same eyes, huh?” He stared at the picture for a moment and then said, “So dinner should be ready in about forty-five minutes. Wanna have a seat with me?”

  “You’re cooking from in here?”

  “It’s on a timer.” He hesitated and then added, “I’m really sorry about losing my cool earlier.”

  “It’s okay. I just didn’t want you to get in any trouble. That guy definitely was not worth it.”

  “I know.”

  I smiled slyly. “For a preacher’s kid, you got a little street in you, huh?”

  He shrugged and dropped his eyes.

  “You called me your woman, too.”

  He looked up at me and raised his eyebrows. “You liked that, huh?”

  “Cool Chris” was back.

  I nodded and took a seat on the sofa. No sooner than he sat down beside me, Chris pulled me into his arms and laid one heck of a kiss on me. I leaned into him and returned the kiss, rubbing my hands through his hair. It felt different, I can’t lie. The texture of his skin, his hair, his lips; it was all different, but it was good, very good.

  We kissed and held each other for a long time. It felt good to be able to share that kind of intimacy again. I could feel his affection and passion for me, but it felt innocent, almost pure. It reminded me of the joy and excitement I felt in my younger days, when I liked a boy and knew that he liked me. Back then, there was this sense of excitement I felt just from being around that person or holding his hand. Just a simple kiss was totally thrilling to me. That’s what I felt with Chris—the innocence and excitement of a first love.

  Chris pulled me closer to him as he continued the kiss, his hands navigating a trail from my back to my waist to my face, as if he wasn’t sure which part of me he wanted to touch. I felt the same way—overwhelmed by the chemistry and electricity flowing between us. I didn’t want to stop, and I could tell that the feeling was mutual. Had the oven timer not gone off, there’s no telling where the night would have led us, despite Chris’s honorable intentions.

  ~*~

  Dinner was actually pretty good. Now, he couldn’t cook like his mama, but his T-bone steaks, baked potatoes, and spring mix salad weren’t half bad. We laughed and talked throughout dinner and afterward, we settled down on his sofa with a couple of sodas and listened to some old-school R&B records. I leaned back on the sofa and sipped my drink as Chris walked over to the stereo to change the record.

  “You know, I’ve always heard that musicians are usually broke, but you’ve done really well,” I said, looking around at the room.

  “Uh, yeah. I just manage my money really well,” he said, his back to me.

  “Well, you need to teach me a thing or two about money management, then.”

  He turned and smiled at me. “Or three or four, huh?”

  “Unh-uh, let’s not forget, I’m older and wiser than you. Now when it comes to certain things, I think I have a hand up on you.”

  He grinned. “That’s right, you are older than me. That’s just how I like my women, old and thick and mean.”

  I laughed. “Now look, I haven’t been mean to you in days. Cut me some slack here.”

  “Well, when you were mean to me, you were mean as hell. I ain’t never had to work so hard to get a woman before.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “Oh, so you think you’ve got me?”

  He walked over to me, reached for my hand, and pulled me to my feet. “I know I got you. Come on and dance with me.”

  “Your Love Is King” by Sade began to play. “Well, since this is my favorite song, I guess I will.”

  “Favorite song, huh? I’ll have to remember that,” he said as he pulled me into his arms.

  I leaned against his chest as he wrapped his long arms around me.

  “You’re a perfect fit,” he whispered.

  As we slowly rocked to the music, I could feel my entire body begin to relax against his. I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of his cologne. He released me long enough to lean over and plant a soft kiss on my lips. I looked up at him and smiled.

  “How tall are you?” I asked.

  “Six-one. How short are you?”

  I laughed. “Five-four.”

  “Perfect,” he said and then pulled me back to him. He began to softly sing along with the song.

  “Why don’t you ever sing lead with the band?”

  He looked down at me. “Man, you’re full of questions tonight, huh?”

  I shrugged. “Just curious.”

  “I really don’t know. I guess I’d just rather play my horn. I don’t really like all of the attention on me.”

  I smiled. “I find that hard to believe, Cool Chris.”

  “I’m serious. I’ve always kinda stood out. These days, I like fading into the background with my horn.”

  I nodded. “You know, Chris, I really envy you.”

  “Envy me? Why?”

  I rested my head on his chest again. “Because you live your life exactly the way you want to. You had dreams of being a musician, and you made them come true. I just gave up on my dreams.”

  He looked down at me and frowned. “I live this way because it’s the only way I know how to live. If you let go of your dreams, you stop really living. Living without fighting for your dreams is not living at all—that’s just existing.”

  I sighed. “That’s what I’ve been doing for so many years. Existing.”

  Chris stopped dancing and cupped my face with his hands. “What do you dream about, baby? What do you want to do with your life?”

  “If I tell you, you’ll think it’s stupid.”

  “No, I won’t. No dream is ever stupid.”

  “Well, the only thing I’ve ever dreamed of doing is falling in love—real love—and having a family. I wanted to be a stay at home mom and bake cookies and fix huge meals for my family. I know it sounds archaic, but I guess I wanted that because I never had it growing up. My parents always emphasized education and having a big career, but I never cared about that. The things I’ve always wanted and never had are love and family.”

  “That’s not stupid, baby. That’s beautiful.”

  “It would be beautiful if it was a dream that could actually come true.”

  “What makes you think it can’t?”

  I shrugged again. “I don’t know. I guess I feel like it’s too late. I’m not getting any younger.”

  “So you think there’s an age limit on love and happiness?”

  “Not necessarily. I just think it’s too late for me. I’ve got a grown daughter now, too late to be trying to start another family. It’s too late for my happily ever after. I just don’t believe it’ll happen for me.”

  “Naw, baby. It’s only too late if you decide it is. I think as long as you are living and breathing, anything is possible. Anything, if you open your heart and mind to it—including a happily ever after. You have no idea what God’s got in store for you.” And with that, he leaned in and let his lips barely brush mine.

  We danced and danced until we were both too tired to move, and then we collapsed onto the couch.

  I woke up the next morning on the couch with Chris’s arms around me. I looked up at him and smiled. “Good morning,” I said softly.

  He peered down at me and kissed the tip of my nose. “Good morning, beautiful. You wanna watch the sunrise with me?”

  “Sure.”

  I followed him out onto the balcony, and there we stood, hand in hand, watching a gorgeous, orange sun rise over St. Louis.

  “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands,” he whispered, reciting Psalm 19:1—one of my favorite scriptures.

  I squeezed his hand as we took in the breathtaking view. It was the first time in my entire life I’d ever seen a sunrise and it was absolutely beautiful.

  Fourteen

  “The Sweetest Taboo?
??

  It was another hectic night at work, and when break time finally came, I decided to hide out in a far corner of the ER lobby. I sat down and dialed Chris’s number.

  “Hello?” he answered softly.

  “Hey, did I wake you?”

  “Nah, just stretching. How’s your night been?”

  “Don’t even ask.”

  “That bad, huh? I bet you were ready for your break.”

  “I was, and I was ready to hear your voice, too.”

  “Really? You wanna see my face?”

  I smiled. “Yeah, I’d love to.”

  “And kiss my lips?”

  My smile widened. “Mm-hmm.”

  “Your wish is my command. Come outside.”

  My smile grew even wider, if that’s possible. “Why?”

  “Just come outside, woman.”

  I walked outside but didn’t see Chris’s car anywhere. “Where are you?” I asked.

  “Turn around.”

  I spun around to find Chris leaning against the outside wall of the ER. Somehow, I’d passed right by him without noticing him. With a grin on his face, he walked over to me and kissed my cheek.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, although I was thrilled to see him.

  “I missed you.”

  “Aw, I missed you, too. You wanna join me in the lobby?”

  “Nah, I was thinking that maybe we could have a little make-out session in my car. I’m parked right over there.” He pointed to the middle of the parking lot where I could see his shiny Mercedes.

  “Make-out session? Wow, you really are white. You almost had me fooled there for a minute.”

  “Aw, now, there you go with that again. Come on.”

  He took my hand and led me across the parking lot to his car. Once safely inside the back seat, he locked the doors, tuned his cell phone to some soothing sounds on Pandora radio, and before I could get settled in the seat good, his lips were covering mine. As he pulled me into his arms, my heart began to race. His touch excited me. Everything about him excited me. My heart was beating so hard I could feel in my throat. I wondered if he could feel it, too.

  I was so lost in his embrace that I forgot where I was for a moment. I grabbed the back of his head and leaned into the kiss as Chris tightened his grip on my waist. When he finally released me, I had to gasp for air.

  “Okay, so you really did miss me, huh?” he said breathily.

  “Just a little bit.”

  “Dang, girl. I need to go away for a few days and see what I get if you miss me a lot.”

  “I could say the same thing.”

  He sat there and stared at me for a moment as the music continued to play. “You are so beautiful, Marli.”

  I dropped my eyes. “Thank you.”

  “Why do you always do that?”

  “Do what?”

  “Whenever I tell you you’re beautiful, you look away.”

  “I do?” I shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess it’s because no one’s ever told me I was beautiful before.”

  He reached over and slid his fingertip gently across my eyebrow, then my eyelid, then my nose, cheek, and lips. “Then everyone around you must’ve been blind.” He leaned in and brushed his lips across mine. “Because you are absolutely beautiful.”

  I looked into his eyes. “Thank you.”

  “You are most welcome. I got something for you.”

  I smiled. “Really? What?”

  “This.” He reached into the front seat and retrieved a single red rose.

  “It’s lovely. Thank you.”

  He smiled. “You’re welcome. Remember when I told you your next rose would be a different color?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I remember that. What does red mean?”

  “Red means love.”

  “You’re saying that you love me?” I asked.

  “I’m saying that you love me.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Oh, wow. Chris, you’re just too much.”

  He looked me in the eye and shook his head. “No, I’m just what you need.”

  When Raheem DeVaughn’s “You” began to play, he opened the door, stood next to the car, and reached for my hand. “Dance with me.”

  “Out here? On the parking lot?”

  He nodded. “Yes, right here, right now.”

  I shrugged, thinking to myself that he was crazy and that anyone who saw us would think we were both crazy. I took his hand and let him pull me into his arms. With his phone sitting on the roof of his car providing the music, we danced beneath the stars on the hospital parking lot. I closed my eyes and thought to myself that I loved the way his arms felt around me. Just like he said, I was a perfect fit—we were a perfect fit for each other.

  I opened my eyes and looked up at his face. His eyes were closed as he mouthed the words to the song, and he looked so handsome. I reached up and gently caressed his cheek, letting my fingers fall to graze his neck. I wanted to kiss him so badly. I always wanted to kiss him. I couldn’t get enough of him or his kisses or the feeling of his arms around me. Was I in love with him? If I wasn’t, I definitely wanted to be, and the feeling of wanting to be in love was strange, almost foreign to me. I’d spent most of my adult life running away from that feeling.

  He opened his eyes and grasped my hand as it traveled to his chest. He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it softly. Then he leaned forward and kissed my lips again. When we finally parted, it was well past the time for me to return to work. Chris walked me to the employee entrance and I glided into the ER with a smile on my face. Throughout the remainder of my shift, my thoughts were of Chris and his kisses. I couldn’t wait to see him again.

  ~*~

  I’d been in St. Louis for two-and-a-half months and had spent most of my time between two places: the hospital and Chris’s apartment. I only had two more weeks left on my assignment and had just about decided to sign on for another three months. The thought of leaving St. Louis and Chris King seemed unreal to me. I was happier than I’d been in years. Actually, I don’t think I’d ever been as happy as I was with Chris. But best of all, the feeling was mutual. He adored me just as much as, if not more than, I adored him.

  We spent our time together laughing and talking and just getting to know each other more and more. Little by little, I became comfortable enough with him to talk about some of my past experiences, most of which I wasn’t proud of. I even opened up and told him about my relationships with my parents and my ex.

  One evening, while Chris and I were lounging in his living room watching TV, he asked, “Why did you get a divorce?”

  “What?” I replied, caught a little off-guard.

  “Why did you and your husband get a divorce?” he repeated.

  “Oh… well, we really hadn’t been getting along very well for a couple of years. I did everything I could to make it work. I really did. I never wanted a divorce because my parents’ divorce had been so horrible, and it really affected me. I just didn’t want that for Tiffany, you know?

  “Well, anyway, I couldn’t make it work alone. As hard as I fought, Tim’s heart just wasn’t in it. So one day, he told me that he didn’t want to be married anymore. And just like that, he moved out of our house and in with his current wife… and my marriage was over.”

  He sat up and looked me in the eye. “That must’ve been hard for you to deal with. I know it had to hurt you.”

  I nodded. “It did, and for a long time, I really and truly despised him. But I came to realize that just like it takes two to make a marriage, it takes two to break one. We were too young. I didn’t know how to be a wife and he definitely didn’t know how to be a husband. Plus, I was just a teenager when I had our daughter, and she became the tie that bound our relationship and our marriage. You can’t build a relationship on the fact that you have a kid together. It just won’t work.”

  “And then you had to raise her as a single mother? I know that took some strength. I’ve been there. Those years I had Russ were hectic, bu
t they were also the most fulfilling years of my life.”

  I smiled. “Yeah, well, Tim was around, but I really did most of the raising alone. But it was definitely worth it. I feel like Tiffany is my greatest achievement. She turned out really well despite the fact that I had no clue what I was doing when I was raising her.”