The Last of the Peterkins

  II.

  ELIZABETH ELIZA'S COMMONPLACE-BOOK.

  I am going to jot down, from time to time, any suggestions that occurto me that will be of use in writing another paper, in case I am calledupon. I might be asked unexpectedly for certain occasions, if anybodyhappened to be prevented from coming to a meeting.

  I have not yet thought of a subject, but I think that is not of as muchconsequence as to gather the ideas. It seems as if the ideas mightsuggest the subject, even if the subject does not suggest the ideas.

  Now, often a thought occurs to me in the midst, perhaps, of conversationwith others; but I forget it afterwards, and spend a great deal of timein trying to think what it was I was thinking of, which might have beenvery valuable.

  I have indeed, of late, been in the habit of writing such thoughts onscraps of paper, and have often left the table to record some idea thatoccurred to me; but, looking up the paper and getting ready to write it,the thought has escaped me.

  Then again, when I have written it, it has been on the backs ofenvelopes or the off sheet of a note, and it has been lost, perhapsthrown into the scrap-basket. Amanda is a little careless about suchthings; and, indeed, I have before encouraged her in throwing away oldenvelopes, which do not seem of much use otherwise, so perhaps she isnot to blame.

  * * * * *

  The more I think of it, the more does it seem to me there would be anadvantage if everybody should have the same number to their houses,--ofcourse not everybody, but everybody acquainted. It is so hard toremember all the numbers; the streets you are not so likely to forget.Friends might combine to have the same number. What made me think of itwas that we do have the same number as the Easterlys. To be sure, we areout of town, and they are in Boston; but it makes it so convenient, whenI go into town to see the Easterlys, to remember that their number isthe same as ours.

  * * * * *

  Agamemnon has lost his new silk umbrella. Yet the case was marked withhis name in full, and the street address and the town. Of course he leftthe case at home, going out in the rain. He might have carried it withthe address in his pocket, yet this would not have helped after losingthe umbrella. Why not have a pocket for the case in the umbrella?

  * * * * *

  In shaking the dust from a dress, walk slowly backwards. This preventsthe dust from falling directly on the dress again.

  * * * * *

  On Carving Duck.--It is singular that I can never get so much off thebreast as other people do.

  Perhaps I have it set on wrong side up.

  * * * * *

  I wonder why they never have catalogues for libraries arranged from thelast letter of the name instead of the first.

  There is our Italian teacher whose name ends with a "j," which I shouldremember much easier than the first letter, being so odd.

  * * * * *

  I cannot understand why a man should want to marry his wife's deceasedsister. If she is dead, indeed, how can he? And if he has a wife, howwrong! I am very glad there is a law against it.

  * * * * *

  It is well, in prosperity, to be brought up as though you were living inadversity; then, if you have to go back to adversity, it is all thesame.

  On the other hand, it might be as well, in adversity, to act as thoughyou were living in prosperity; otherwise, you would seem to lose theprosperity either way.

  * * * * *

  Solomon John has invented a new extinguisher. It is to represent a Turksmoking a pipe, which is to be hollow, and lets the smoke out. A verypretty idea!

  * * * * *

  A bee came stumbling into my room this morning, as it has done everyspring since we moved here,--perhaps not the same bee. I think theremust have been a family bee-line across this place before ever a housewas built here, and the bees are trying for it every year.

  Perhaps we ought to cut a window opposite.

  There's room enough in the world for me and thee; go thou and troublesome one else,--as the man said when he put the fly out of the window.

  * * * * *

  Ann Maria thinks it would be better to fix upon a subject first; butthen she has never yet written a paper herself, so she does not realizethat you have to have some thoughts before you can write them. Sheshould think, she says, that I would write about something that I see.But of what use is it for me to write about what everybody is seeing,as long as they can see it as well as I do?

  * * * * *

  The paper about emergencies read last week was one of the best I everheard; but, of course, it would not be worth while for me to write thesame, even if I knew enough.

  * * * * *

  My commonplace-book ought to show me what to do for common things; andthen I can go to lectures, or read the "Rules of Emergencies" for theuncommon ones.

  Because, as a family, I think we are more troubled about what to doon the common occasions than on the unusual ones. Perhaps because theunusual things don't happen to us, or very seldom; and for the uncommonthings, there is generally some one you can ask.

  I suppose there really is not as much danger about these uncommon thingsas there is in the small things, because they don't happen so often, andbecause you are more afraid of them.

  I never saw it counted up, but I conclude that more children tumble intomud-puddles than into the ocean or Niagara Falls, for instance. It wasso, at least, with our little boys; but that may have been partlybecause they never saw the ocean till last summer, and have never beento Niagara. To be sure, they had seen the harbor from the top of BunkerHill Monument, but there they could not fall in. They might have fallenoff from the top of the monument, but did not. I am sure, for our littleboys, they have never had the remarkable things happen to them. Isuppose because they were so dangerous that they did not try them, likefiring at marks and rowing boats. If they had used guns, they mighthave shot themselves or others; but guns have never been allowed in thehouse. My father thinks it is dangerous to have them. They might gooff unexpected. They would require us to have gunpowder and shot in thehouse, which would be dangerous. Amanda, too, is a little careless.And we never shall forget the terrible time when the "fulminating paste"went off one Fourth of July. It showed what might happen even if you didnot keep gunpowder in the house.

  To be sure, Agamemnon and Solomon John are older now, and might learnthe use of fire-arms; but even then they might shoot the wrongperson--the policeman or some friends coming into the house--instead ofthe burglar.

  And I have read of safe burglars going about. I don't know whether itmeans that it is safe for them or for us; I hope it is the latter.Perhaps it means that they go without fire-arms, making it safer forthem.

  * * * * *

  I have the "Printed Rules for Emergencies," which will be of great use,as I should be apt to forget which to do for which. I mean I should bequite likely to do for burns and scalds what I ought to do for cramp.And when a person is choking, I might sponge from head to foot, whichis what I ought to do to prevent a cold.

  But I hope I shall not have a chance to practise. We have never had thecase of a broken leg, and it would hardly be worth while to break one onpurpose.

  Then we have had no cases of taking poison, or bites from mad dogs,perhaps partly because we don't keep either poison or dogs; but then ourneighbors might, and we ought to be prepared. We do keep cats, so thatwe do not need to have poison for the rats; and in this way we avoidboth dangers,--from the dogs going mad, and from eating the poison bymistake instead of the rats.

  To be sure, we don't quite get rid of the rats, and need a trap for themice; but if you have a good family cat it is safer.

  * * * *
*

  About window-curtains--I mean the drapery ones--we have the same troublein deciding every year. We did not put any in the parlor windows when wemoved, only window-shades, because there were so many things to be done,and we wanted time to make up our minds as to what we would have.

  But that was years ago, and we have not decided yet, though we considerthe subject every spring and fall.

  The trouble is, if we should have heavy damask ones like the Bromwicks',it would be very dark in the winter, on account of the new, highbuilding opposite.

  Now, we like as much light as we can get in the winter, so we havealways waited till summer, thinking we would have some light muslinones, or else of the new laces. But in summer we like to have the roomdark, and the sun does get round in the morning quite dazzling on thewhite shades. (We might have dark-colored shades, but there would be thesame trouble of its being too dark in the winter.)

  We seem to need the heavy curtains in summer and the light curtains inwinter, which would look odd. Besides, in winter we do need the heavycurtains to shut out the draughts, while in summer we like all the airwe can get.

  I have been looking for a material that shall shut out the air and yetlet in the light, or else shut out the light and let in the air; or elselet in the light when you want it, and not when you don't. I have notfound it yet; but there are so many new inventions that I dare say Ishall come across it in time. They seem to have invented everythingexcept a steamer that won't go up and down as well as across.

  * * * * *

  I never could understand about averages. I can't think why people are sofond of taking them,--men generally. It seems to me they tell anythingbut the truth. They try to tell what happens every evening, and theydon't tell one evening right.

  There was our Free Evening Cooking-school. We had a class of fourteengirls; and they admired it, and liked nothing better, and attendedregularly. But Ann Maria made out the report according to the average ofattendance on the whole number of nights in the ten weeks of the school,one evening a week; so she gave the numbers 12-3/5 each night.

  Now the fact was, they all came every night except one, when there wassuch a storm, nobody went,--not even the teacher, nor Ann Maria, nor anyof us. It snowed and it hailed and the wind blew, and our steps were soslippery Amanda could not go out to put on ashes; ice even on the uppersteps. The janitor, who makes the fire, set out to go; but she was blownacross the street, into the gutter. She did succeed in getting in to AnnMaria's, who said it was foolish to attempt it, and that nobody wouldgo; and I am not sure but she spent the night there,--at Ann Maria's, Imean. Still, Ann Maria had to make up the account of the number ofevenings of the whole course.

  But it looks, in the report, as though there were never the wholefourteen there, and as though 1-2/5 of a girl stayed away every night,when the facts are we did not have a single absence, and the wholefourteen were there every night, except the night there was no school;and I have been told they all had on their things to come that night,but their mothers would not let them,--those that had mothers,--and theywould have been blown away if they had come.

  It seems to me the report does not present the case right, on account ofthe averages.

  I think it is indeed the common things that trouble one to decide about,as I have said, since for the remarkable ones one can have advice. Theway we do on such occasions is to ask our friends, especially the ladyfrom Philadelphia.

  Whatever we should have done without her, I am sure I cannot tell, forher advice is always inestimable. To be sure, she is not always here;but there is the daily mail (twice from here to Boston), and thetelegraph, and to some places the telephone.

  But for some common things there is not time for even the telephone.

  * * * * *

  Yesterday morning, for instance, going into Boston in the early train,I took the right side for a seat, as is natural, though I noticed thatmost of the passengers were crowding into the seats on the other side.I found, as we left the station, that I was on the sunny side, which wasvery uncomfortable. So I made up my mind to change sides, coming out.But, unexpectedly, I stayed in till afternoon at Mrs. Easterly's. Itseems she had sent a note to ask me (which I found at night all right,when I got home), as Mr. Easterly was away. So I did not go out tillafternoon. I did remember my determination to change sides in going out,and as I took the right going in, not to take the right going out. Butthen I remembered, as it was afternoon, the sun would have changed; soif the right side was wrong in the morning, it would be right in theafternoon. At any rate, it would be safe to take the other side. I didobserve that most of the people took the opposite side, the left side;but I supposed they had not stopped to calculate.

  When we came out of the station and from under the bridges, I found Iwas sitting in the sun again, the same way as in the morning, in spiteof all my reasoning. Ann Maria, who had come late and taken the lastseat on the other side, turned round and called across to me, "Why doyou always take the sunny side? Do you prefer it?" I was sorry not toexplain it to her, but she was too far off.

  It might be safe to do what most of the other people do, when you cannotstop to inquire; but you cannot always tell, since very likely they maybe mistaken. And then if they have taken all the seats, there is notroom left for you. Still, this time, in coming out, I had reached thetrain in plenty of season, and might have picked out my seat, but thenthere was nobody there to show where most of the people would go. Imight have changed when I saw where most would go; but I hate changing,and the best seats were all taken.

  * * * * *

  My father thinks it would be a good plan for Amanda to go to theLectures on Physics. She has lived with us a great many years, and shestill breaks as many things as she did at the beginning.

  Dr. Murtrie, who was here the other night, said he learned when quite aboy, from some book on Physics, that if he placed some cold water in thebottom of a pitcher, before pouring in boiling-hot water, it would notbreak. Also, that in washing a glass or china pitcher in very hot water,the outside and inside should be in the hot water, or, as he said,should feel the hot water at the same time. I don't quite understandexactly how, unless the pitcher has a large mouth, when it might be putin sideways.

  He told the reasons, which, being scientific, I cannot remember orunderstand.

  If Amanda had known about this, she might have saved a great deal ofvaluable glass and china. Though it has not always been from hot water,the breaking, for I often think she has not the water hot enough; butoften from a whole tray-full sliding out of her hand, as she was comingup-stairs, and everything on it broke.

  But Dr. Murtrie said if she had learned more of the Laws of Physics shewould not probably so often tip over the waiter.

  The trouble is, however, remembering at the right time. She might haveknown the law perfectly well, and forgotten it just on the moment, orher dress coming in the way may have prevented.

  Still, I should like very well myself to go to the Lectures on Physics.Perhaps I could find out something about scissors,--why it is they doalways tumble down, and usually, though so heavy, without any noise, sothat you do not know that they have fallen. I should say they had nolaw, because sometimes they are far under the sofa in one direction, orhidden behind the leg of the table in another, or perhaps not even onthe floor, but buried in the groove at the back of the easy-chair, andyou never find them till you have the chair covered again. I do feelalways in the back of the chair now; but Amanda found mine, yesterday,in the groove of the sofa.

  * * * * *

  It is possible Elizabeth Eliza may have taken the remaining sheets ofher commonplace-book abroad with her. We have not been able to recoverthem.