Innocent Lies

  “You know what that means, he is fugly.” Allison said dryly. “And another thing why did we not get invited to this thing?”

  “They knew you would look hotter and they didn’t want to be embarrassed in front of the guys.” Deacon said, nuzzling her nose in Allison’s hair.

  Sarah rolled her eyes and wiped her nails across the front of her shirt. “In your dreams, sweet cakes.” She said with a grin then aimed her glare at Deacon.

  I had missed this. I cherished each moment I had with Ethan, but I needed time with the girls. Ethan could be intense.

  After spending the afternoon chattering and eating our weight in homemade chocolate pie, Sarah and I told them our goodbyes. Ethan was schedule to pick us up any moment.

  It took me the length of two heartbeats to open the door when I heard the familiar knock of Ethan’s.

  “Hey you,” He had me in his arms before I even fully had the door open. A slow, mischievous smile spread across his handsome face.

  “Hey stranger,” I said and squirmed out of his arms. First, I wanted to admire him. He was looking smoking hot in only a V-neck-tee-shirt and a pair of worn jeans. Secondly, after seeing the smile he was flashing, I wanted to see what he had planned.

  “Damn!” Sarah said with a look of horror when she caught a glimpse of Ethan’s beat-up Chevrolet Camaro. I blew out a puff of air. I knew Ethan was scheduled to get it out of the shop that day, but why did he feel the need to drive it that night? “I thought he drove a truck?”

  “He does,” I answered. “But he loves this money-pit.” I jabbed him in the ribs as he went to open the car door. Sarah hopped in and I crawled in the front seat. Ethan tugged on the hem of my dress.

  “Make sure I’m behind you if you ever plan on bending over tonight.” He growled and lightly smacked my butt.

  I turned my head and winked, my g-rated Ethan was finally showing a spark of his true nature.

  Ethan slid behind the wheel and took my hand in his. He drove even faster than he normally did. He seemed like he was not happy about tonight, possibly even nervous.

  “Are you okay?” I ran my hands over the nap of his neck, letting my finger slip down his spine.

  “Fine, just would rather have you alone with me at home.” His eyes burned into me with a searing hunger.

  “You can’t hide me away forever.” I said and started nibbling on Ethan’s ear.

  “Behave,” Sarah said, breaking through the heat that was blazing around us and making us forget everything but each other. “Where is my date? And he better be hot.”

  “He is meeting us at the bar and I can honestly say I have never thought any man was hot.” Ethan said as he pulled up in front of an out-of-the-way bar. It appeared barren and I wondered if it was even opened. “That is him.” Ethan said and pointed. My eyes followed his finger to the lone guy sitting atop the railings that ran along the front porch to the place.

  “Whoa!” Sarah busted out of the car, straightened her tight red tee-shirt, and I am not sure, but I believe pulled up her black leather micro-mini a smidgen. She looked sexy and after seeing her tongue dart out and over her upper lip, I knew she was ready to party. Being not a shy person, she took off walking over toward him in her six inch heels. Gracefully, I might add.

  "Is she always like that?" Ethan asked and tucked my hair behind my shoulder.

  "Unfortunately yes, I hope he is no prune."

  Ethan laughed a short but hard laugh. "No, I think he could handle anything she dishes out and then some." He tilted his head toward mine. "He is a whore too."

  Ethan opened the door and took my arm. He escorted me in as if we were headed into a fancy gala, not a honky-tonk.

  Sarah had already introduced herself before we got to the front steps. “Wayne, this is Dylan Summers and I guess, you have already met her roommate Sarah North.”

  I held my hand out to shake Wayne’s when he gripped my upper arms and pulled me up to him, kissing me fast and hard on the lips.

  “Wayne, I have already warned you about tonight.” Ethan snapped, dragging me behind him.

  Sarah practically glowed when Wayne placed his hand on her lower back. “Just goofing, dude.” He couldn’t compete with Ethan, but Wayne could definitely demand a room. His hair was dark brown, almost black, and his eyes were bright green.

  The next hour past in a blur of great conversation, even better food, and a display of affection that was a little r-rated between Sarah and Wayne. I had gotten to the point that I didn’t care about the rest of the night, I just wanted away from them.

  Ethan draped his arm along the back of the chair and started toying with the tips of my hair. His free hand lifted a can of beer to his mouth and he darted a malicious stare over at Wayne. I knew then he was thinking the same thing I was.

  “Sarah,” I said and jerked her hand, pulling her out of Wayne’s lap. “I need to go to the bathroom.”

  I tugged her into the only stall in the women’s restroom. I combed my hands through my hair. “Can you please be a little less slutty?”

  She wiggled an eyebrow at me, and shot me a very becoming smile. “No, I want to be under him and his hard place tonight.”

  I seized her upper arm. “I want more with Ethan. I am sure Wayne will have no problem with you being under, over, or sideways of his hard place tonight. But please for me, cut the dry-humping at the dinner table.”

  She agreed and even pulled her skirt down a couple of inches. My eyes locked on Ethan and Wayne as I started walking back to the table. They were speaking quietly to each other and Ethan appeared pissed.

  “I am going to warn you one more time. She is not one of my girls. You can fuck Sarah ten ways to Sunday tonight, but if she gets a inkling about anything I will gladly kick your ass and permanently remove your membership.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked and picked up my drink to take a sip.

  “What I want to do to you?” He pulled me down into his lap, spilling my drink down the front of my blouse. I was soaked. Ethan trailed a finger around the rather large wet spot over my left breast. I loved seeing Ethan like that. He was relaxed and carefree. He gave Wayne a smile, a slightly mocking and knowing smile that one bachelor would give another. “Ready to go?”

  I peeked down at my soaked shirt. “Home.” I looked up at Sarah that had her tongue down Wayne’s throat. “Sarah, I am heading out. I’m sure Wayne will see you home.” Or to the nearest bed.

  Ethan hurriedly rushed me out of the bar, but before I climbed in the car he pushed me against the hood “You are going to my house. I am going to kiss you until you fall asleep and dream only of me.”

  Wednesday, November 5, 2014

  Being in love, lust, whatever we had going made the last month and a half fly by as though I was living in a dream? Sarah and Deacon had stopped questioning me when I disappeared for days on end. Ethan wouldn’t stay over at my place. I was not sure if Deacon scared him a little or if Sarah’s roaming hands did. Whenever Ethan didn’t have long days in court, he would spend his time at the library with me. Demanding, I didn’t let my GPA drop because of him. Every Wednesday night, we went to his field and stargazed. We had spent many nights talking until the wee hours of the morning. We could’ve talked forever, about everything or nothing at all. It had to have been my favorite thing about him. I had never smiled more in my life. The nightmares had all but disappeared.

  I had also found in amazement that none of his idiosyncrasies drove me bonkers. If anything, they made me love him more. Did I just write love? What the heck. His habit of driving out of the way to just about everything. The way he pretended to be reading when in reality he was studying me. The way his cigarette dangled out of the corner of his mouth when he laughed. The way he licked his upper lip when he was getting ready to kiss. The way he respected my boundaries. I had slept numerous nights with him and all he ever did was hold me. Okay, maybe a little more than just hold me, but he never pushed the limit. I wanted him to push the limits too. A
girl could’ve only been good for so long.

  I adored his small confessions. How his first crush was his babysitter, Renee. She was fifteen years older than him and he actually drilled a hole in the wall to watch her dress. He knew one song on the piano, the theme to Rugrats. He wouldn’t watch Titanic because Rose could have saved Jack.

  “I have to work late tonight. I’ll meet you at the fundraiser.” Ethan hollered from the shower.

  I hated to admit it, but I was jealous of the water that got to pool down that body? And I couldn’t wait for the day I got to join him. I hastily crammed my journal in my backpack. Ethan had a big enough ego without reading my thoughts. “You’re coming.” I yelled back, hearing the familiar click of the shower door.

  Sarah’s sorority was hosting a pool tournament at the bar to raise money for Four Loaves; a charity that sent backpacks full of food home each weekend with local, needy children. I was a sucker for kids and that particular charity was a pet project of mine. I told Ethan about it earlier, but never expected him to come.

  “Of course, I don’t have a choice.”

  “Why don’t you have a choice?”

  “Because I heard this really cute girl will be there. I kind of like spending time with her.” He rounded the corner and started walking down the hall. He had on a pair of navy blue dress pants and was slipping on a white tee-shirt, but not before I caught a glimpse of his impressive torso. I had seen plenty of naked males parading around at my mom’s. However, not one of those men had a thing on Ethan. He was broad, cut and damn, his stomach had ripples.

  “Like the view?” He motioned to the oversized windows flanking the fireplace and smirked. He didn’t fool me; he had caught me openly gawking at him. “Your cheeks are glowing . . . Hey, it’s okay, I love my view too.” He made no bones about it as he eyed me from the tip of my toes to my tousled hair and back down again.

  Later that night

  Logan had turned his orange baseball cap backwards and struck the cue ball, knocking in the last four pool balls. I was shocked to see that he was such a pool shark. I was surprised to see him at all. It was the first time I had seen him beside class since the night at the Pizza House when Ethan came back into my life. It was as if he had dropped off the side of the planet. Maybe it was me, he was avoiding me at all cost.

  “The next round is on me.” Logan hollered over his shoulder as he collected his latest winnings. Our eyes met. He was incensed. I felt bad, but not bad enough to do anything about it. Ethan meant too much to me. I wasn’t willing for him to find me talking to Logan.

  A hand gripped my arm, and then a chest was taut against my back. I laid my head against his shoulder. It was not a doubt in my mind it was Ethan. The smell I had become addicted to flooded my nostrils. “Hey, gorgeous.” I almost moaned as I molded myself against his body.

  He swept my hair to the side and kissed me behind my ear. “Looking for someone.”

  I smiled and turned, wrapping my arms around his neck. “You,” I whispered. “You smell good.”

  “Thank you, but next time make sure it’s me. If I was to see you with another guy like that.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “It would be bad.” He pinched my behind and pushed me closer to him. “You’re mine.”

  I laughed, loved having him claim me in the middle of the local bar overflowing with drunken college students.

  “Come on, Privy, it’s break time.” He dragged me off with a pull of the hand. I winked over my shoulder at Sarah and held up my finger signaling to give me a moment. In truth, I hoped for a lot longer than a minute. He sat me down at the booth in the farthest corner of the bar, held up two fingers to the nearest waitress, and mouthed, ‘beer.’

  “I don’t drink.”

  “One drink won’t hurt you.” He scooted close to me and rested his forehead on mine.

  “Bad influence.” I curved my hand around his neck.

  “Very bad influence, but you still love me.”

  I didn’t know if I loved him yet, but it was darn close. I had never felt the way I did when I was around him. It was stronger than anything I had read about in any book. If that was the start of love, I wanted it. My hand scraped across his neck.

  “Oh, babe,” he whispered and his eyes closed. He grasped my hand and held it in place. “I wish you could feel what you do to me.” His eyes popped open. “I’ll make you feel the same. I’ll show you what we can achieve together.” He laced his fingers through mine and traced the palm with his thumb. The music blared in my head. I heard someone in the distance ask where I went. I didn’t care. I was with Ethan, the one person who could chase the demons away.

  The waitress had the worst timing and pushed two bottles across the table, breaking the moment between us. I peeked up at the bottle as a lady’s hand brought it up to the reddest lips. I gulped, not knowing what was happening. Ethan’s hand slipped from mine. He turned and an invisible wall of ice formed between us. He clicked bottles with her. It was the same lady that he talked to in the coffee shop. His brother’s girlfriend. “Victoria,” Ethan whispered.

  She looked at me and snarled. “Who’s the little flavor of the month?”

  I wanted Ethan to turn and tell me I was his. He never acknowledged me. “No one,” he snapped.

  I tumbled out of the booth without a glance from Ethan.

  “She is pretty.” Victoria said. I felt his eyes on me for a brief moment. “E, you really should learn that these whores are a distraction.”

  I felt the tears roll. A distraction. A whore. A no one. I glanced back one more time praying Ethan was following me. He was laughing with her. No, no, no, I won’t let him get to me. He talked about how I made him feel. He made me feel like trash. My nickname from high school played in my ear, Icky. The rants I heard so many times ‘I would rather hump trash than even touch her. The nastiest junk in town.’ I heard those berating millions of times, but for the first time ever I felt icky. I hailed a cab, and through the tears told him to take me to the nearest motel. I wanted to crawl back into the place I was truly safe. Where I only trusted me and only me.

  Friday, November 7, 2014

  I couldn’t yet face the world and missed class again. I had managed to rummage together enough money for two nights at the hotel and one take-out pizza. I tossed my plate from the continental breakfast across the room knowing checkout was in two hours. Mad was an understatement. Not at Ethan that was the problem. I couldn’t find it in myself even to have an inkling of ill thoughts toward him. Because I would have felt so much better if I could. Than feeling disappointed in the reality that I was no more to him . . . I wished I would have known what I was to him.

  I slowly and methodically bathed. It was the first bath I had taken since . . . I was with him. His smell clung to me and for some crazy reason made me feel . . . I don’t know how it made me feel. I loved it and hated it soon would be gone. Why did I let him get to me in such a short amount of time?

  My heart cracked open and released a new wave of tears. I placed the body wash back on the ledge of the sink and smacked the side of the tub. He took my heart, told it beautiful lies, and then shattered it open. He treated whatever we had between us like it was wrong. It hurt. He felt that pull between us the same as me. There was no hiding the emotions behind each and every kiss. Why, when all he would ever do was leave did I want him to hold me? Why was that arrogant man the only one who made me feel whole? I dressed in the same old clothes and smiled when a small trace of his particular odor lingered. Ugh, I hate him!

  I spent the rest of the day window shopping. Hoping against hope it would relieve some of the emptiness I was plagued with. It did nothing but irritate me, just a reminder that I had no money, no life, and no Ethan. It was getting late and I was running out of time. I had to face Sarah and Deacon and explain my sudden MIA status.