Breathe Again

  Kissing the side of his neck, I pulled him back, his body falling against the comfort of his mattress. I took a chance. I crawled up beside him and held my breath, expecting him to ask me to leave, but he didn’t. As we lay facing each other, we stared at each other, communicating by our eyes only. He tucked a piece of loose hair behind my ear and his thumb swept over my bottom lip so innocently, so calming.

  I lay there for an hour as I watched his heavy eyes succumb to tiredness. My need to wrap myself in him almost overcame me and the thought of touching him, kissing him, feeling him was almost too much. Sliding off his bed, I hesitated before I walked to the door and opened it quietly.

  I wouldn’t spend the night unless I was invited.

  Tate

  THE ANNOYING buzz of my phone vibrating against the glass top of my bedside table ripped me from my slumber. Stretching my arms above my head, I was swamped by an uneasy feeling. Instantly my eyes fell to the empty space beside me and everything came flooding back like a torrent of rain.

  Savannah.

  My memories flashed to only hours earlier, my body coming alive with an instant heat. I thought of her unforgettable taste as I’d licked my fingers clean and the way she had completely unleashed herself under my touch. My low groan of satisfaction filled the empty space of my bedroom. Her body was once again my kryptonite and it was destroying me in the best possible way. With a heavy sigh, I fumbled for my shirt and slipped it over my head, stretching tall and allowing my bones to crack into comfort.

  After I opened my bedroom door and stepped into the empty hall, my ears focused on the soft voice coming from behind the closed door of Max’s room. I hesitated for a moment before slowly opening the door. Peering around the door, my face came alive with a smile as I found him lying on his bed with a Lightning McQueen figurine in one hand and a Thomas figurine in the other. The three of them seemed to be having an in depth conversation about the beach. I stood, leaning against the doorframe with my arms folded across my chest, taking in the miracle before me.

  Max’s head shot up and turned towards where I was standing and his face lit up in delight. Lightning McQueen and Thomas were soon forgotten as he jumped off his bed and threw himself at me. “Daddy!” I still couldn’t believe how one simple word could make me so happy. Hearing him call me Daddy made me forget everything.

  “Want some breakfast and cartoons?” I asked softly, trying not to wake the rest of the house.

  “Pancakes and juice box?” he asked with a smile I couldn’t say no to.

  While we walked through the silent house and made our way to the kitchen, Max chatted animatedly about the beach and his new room. My smile said a thousand words. I placed Max on the counter and turned on the small flat screen we had on the far wall near the counter to the first cartoon channel I could find. I busied myself pulling out everything I needed to make my world-famous pancakes. Soon enough, the smell of pancakes filled the air and Max ignored the cartoons. He sat cross-legged on the counter with his juice box and started telling me how he wished he could live in a sand castle that he would make with Gramps, Jack, Lucas, Blake, and me. This kid was a riot and had the imagination of a bestselling author.

  “Daddy. Listen!” he barked in frustration. Damn, he had a temper on him. Smirking at the knowledge that he had obviously gained his short fuse from me, I spun around and startled when I found Sav watching as from the living room, a sweet smile covering her face. As soon as her eyes met mine, she blushed.

  “Mommy is awake,” I announced softly, not breaking my line of sight with Sav.

  Max spun around on the counter and instantly held his arms out to Savannah. She floated towards the counter, wearing nothing but a satin slip that showed off her deliciously tan legs. Max jumped into her arms and buried his head in her neck and the content smile that flooded her face made my heart come alive.

  “How did you sleep, Maxey?” Sav questioned lovingly. “How was your new room?”

  “I heard waves.” Excitement bubbled in his words.

  “I told him I would take him down to the beach today if that’s okay?”

  “You don’t have to ask me, Tate.”

  I nodded and couldn’t hide my smile. Turning my back to Sav and Max I focused on the pan in front of me and got lost in memories of the night before. The taste of her mouth and the deliciousness of her body against mine had kept me up most of the night. I’d wanted nothing more than to completely and utterly make love to her, but there was still something holding me back and it was quickly beginning to piss me off.

  “Do you need a hand?” Sav’s soft voice came from beside me. Oh, Savannah, your ability to say something that could be taken so out of context never ceases to amaze me. “Oh crap, I can’t believe I said that. I mean with the pancakes.”

  “You can give me a hand any time, Savannah, but I am good with the pancakes,” I said with a laugh. Shaking the thoughts of her hand around my dick out of my head, I dropped the spatula on the plate and turned to look at her.

  She leaned back on the counter, staring at me with question in her eyes. “I couldn’t sleep last night,” she admitted quietly, dropping her eyes to the tiled floor below us.

  “Me either.”

  “I wanted to come back into your room and curl around you. I wanted to feel your breath on my skin as you slept. I wanted to wake up beside you. Yes, I’ve missed everything else about us, but waking up in your arms is the one thing I’ve missed the most.” Her honesty shocked me and immediately it shattered my resolve.

  “Why didn’t you stay?” I asked.

  “Because you didn’t ask me to stay.”

  “You don’t need to be asked to share my bed, Sav.”

  “I am not forcing you into anything. I want no regrets between us, Tate, and if you aren’t sure about you and me, then I’m not going to force myself into your bed or your heart.”

  “You aren’t forcing me to do anything.” This was the most honest I had been with her since she’d come back and it felt refreshing. I felt the familiar rumblings of my heart coming alive in those few seconds. “To be honest, I’ve kind of missed your snoring.”

  “I have kind of missed your arsehole tendencies,” she whispered with narrowed eyes. She looked over my shoulder to make sure Max wasn’t within earshot. I followed her eyes and saw that he was now curled up on the couch with his constant figurine companions.

  “Well I have missed your cute little ass teasing me constantly.”

  “What? This one?” She turned and wiggled her satin-covered ass in my direction while giving me a sexy look over her shoulder.

  Fuck living life with hesitation. I needed that hot body against me—now. I needed to feel her hips grind into mine and her tits bounce against my chest. I just needed to feel her.

  I threw caution to the wind and grabbed her around the waist, causing her to shriek at the sudden contact, before I pulled her forcefully towards me. Her smile completely took over her face and her body pressed firmly against mine. Her face was void of makeup and her eyes crystal clear, but the slight darkening under her eyes showed the effects of her restless night. Tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear, I watched as her face changed from excitement to hesitation to wonder.

  This was us. This would always be us. My heart was bruised but it wasn’t completely broken. She had healed my heart once before, and this could be the chance for her to completely heal it.

  Her eyes dropped lustfully to my lips and in that moment I needed to kiss her. Leaning in, breaking the distance between us, I felt her breath sweep over my lips and her hands gripped tightly onto my shirt.

  “Mummy, what are you doing?”

  We froze—Sav in my arms, my hands cupping her face, and our mouths inches from one another while my heartbeat roared against her chest. I tore myself away from her, distancing myself and moving back towards the pile of pancakes going cold on the counter, anxious to get control of my increasing want for her.

  “Come on, Max. Let’s get read
y for breakfast.” Sav scooped Max up in her arms, rushed towards the dining room, and sat him down at the table. Like a sledgehammer hitting full force, I realized there and then in the emptiness of the kitchen that there was nothing that could keep me from her. Fuck, I loved that girl. I loved her with every inch of my being. What Sav and I had was so much stronger than any problem we faced, stronger than any outside source that threatened to derail us, stronger than even the dangerous craziness of our minds.

  “Tate!” Tanzi’s tired voice growled from behind me. She looked at me with sleepy eyes. “Do you have to be so damn loud when you cook? A person is trying to sleep in, you know.”

  “I’m cooking pancakes. I almost just kissed her. Last night we had a…moment,” I rambled as my sister’s face became a canvas of amusement.

  “Why almost?” Her brow raised in question. “Would this moment have happened in the bathroom? You both rushed out like a couple of teenagers who just did seven minutes in heaven.”

  “Uh, Max walked in the kitchen and busted us.”

  Tanzi looked quickly into the dining room, where Sav was sitting beside Max watching cartoons before pulling me farther into the kitchen with force. “What else is going on in that head of yours? Remember that I can tell when you are fighting one of those internal battles you are notorious for,” Tanzi probed with a stern look. Ahhh, the famous twintuition.

  “Nothing.”

  “Like fuck it’s nothing,” she hissed. “Start talking, Tate.”

  “I want Sav to come to the club opening in Vegas.”

  “Have you told her this? “ Her eyes softened and her tone became less brutal. “You need to man up, go in there, tell her how you feel, move her into your bedroom, and start living your lives together. I’m sick of this constant back and forth. Seriously, it’s exhausting. Just fuck and get it over and done with.”

  Tanzi left the kitchen with me, thoroughly amused at her reaction. I knew the tension between Sav and me had been increasing by the second. Her words rang in my ears as I piled the pancakes onto a plate and walked to the dining room, taking deep breaths with every step.

  “Come on, Max. Let’s have some pancakes.”

  “Veggie?” he asked suddenly.

  Oh god no. “Please do not tell me he is going to wreck my amazing, life-altering pancakes with the devil’s food.”

  “That’s one amazing habit he has gotten from his trend-setting mum.”

  I could not believe I was searching for Vegemite to put on pancakes. What the hell had the world come to? Handing Sav the Vegemite, I watched in disgust as she lathered my creation with that disgustingness. Max inhaled them like they were the best thing in the world, his mouth smeared with it. Sav chuckled from across the table at the look on my face.

  “That’s disgusting,” I muttered as I poured copious amounts of syrup on mine like a normal person.

  “Daddy, have some of mine?” Max held out a Vegemite covered pancake towards me and looked at me with the most serious puppy-dog eyes I had ever seen. Sav’s giggle caught my attention and I shot her a look of disgust. How was I supposed to get out of this? “Daddy, please?”

  “How are you going to say no to that?” Sav laughed softly.

  “You’re loving this, aren’t you?”

  “You have absolutely no idea.” She handed me her half-finished glass of juice with a smirk. “Orange juice helps it go down. You don’t want to throw up in front of your son, do you?”

  “Okay, Max. Let’s do this.” I grabbed the pancake from his hands and took a deep breath. Even the smell made me gag.

  What the hell did Aussies see in this? Give me a Tim Tam, a Mint Slice, a Caramello Koala any day, but this? What the hell had they been thinking? I looked at Max, who was gazing at me with anticipation, whereas Sav stared at me in complete enjoyment. I took this as my chance to mention Vegas. I needed her there.

  “You’re coming to Vegas if I do this.” I didn’t give her a chance to answer. I put the whole thing in my mouth and drank the whole glass of orange juice.

  Shit, this stuff was bad.

  Savannah

  TANZI’S BEDROOM was what you’d see in one of those fancy décor magazines. Everything about her and Jack’s room screamed Hollywood chic. Black furniture, polished floor boards, deep reds, and lamps in every corner. It was stunning. Sitting on the bed with a throw rug wrapped around my shoulders as a cool California breeze swept through the room, I watched on amusingly as she zoomed around the room talking at a hundred miles an hour. Her suitcase was open beside me on the bed and clothes, shoes, and accessories were spilling out of it, flooding the comforter with splashes of colours.

  Tate, Jack, and Tanzi were leaving for Las Vegas in the morning and would be spending the weekend, celebrating the opening of Red Velvet Las Vegas while I stayed in Santa Monica with Max.

  “You sure you don’t want to come to Vegas?” Tanzi asked with a raised brow, stuffing a black and white bikini in her suitcase.

  I knew this was coming. “I can’t leave Max.”

  “You can but you won’t,” she retaliated within seconds.

  I rolled my eyes in her direction, grabbed one of the dresses she had roughly jammed into the suitcase, and began to fold it with the respect it deserved.

  “Tanzi, please can we just drop it.”

  “Nope.”

  Tanzi grabbed my hand and stopped me. I risked it and looked at her. That was my biggest mistake. Her eyes were as dangerous as Tate’s and I knew I was getting locked in.

  “Come and have a weekend away with the three of us. I know you’ve always wanted to go to Vegas and here is your opportunity. I want my best friend to come with me. Tate wants you there,” she pleaded.

  “I don’t know, Tanzi. I just—”

  The door inched opened ever so slowly, causing Tanzi and me to stop mid-sentence. Tate’s head poked around the doorframe with a sheepish look plastered on his face. “Sav, Mr. Davenport just showed up and wants to speak with you.”

  “Do you know what he wants?” I asked, standing from the bed, straightening my dress over my hips before walking slowly towards the door where Tate was waiting with intense eyes.

  “We haven’t finished discussing this, Savannah Rae, so don’t think you got away with anything,” Tanzi said in an almost teacher-like voice.

  Immediately I noticed the look that flashed between Tanzi and Tate. I couldn’t handle them on their own, let alone the two of them ganging up on me. Shaking the thoughts from my head, I slipped under Tate’s arm, which was holding open the door, and instantly froze as I was lost in bliss of green tea, sandalwood, and the ocean. My senses thundered to life. Could it be possible to become drunk off the scent of someone? My head for a moment became woozy under the familiar scent of Tate Connors and every inch of my body become inflamed. Desire roared through my body like wildfire.

  “He is in the living room with Max.” As he spoke, his breath tickled my highly reactive skin.

  Don’t, Savannah. STOP! I silently shouted to myself. I didn’t listen. I looked up into his eyes as they bored down at me. Big mistake. HUGE mistake. My breathing came to a halt as I witnessed the exact same feelings I was fighting swimming around in his perfect blues. I was locked in—hook, line, and sinker—and there was no chance in hell that I was going to be able to tear my gaze away from his.

  “Hey, you two… Your son? Mr. Davenport? Living room?” Tanzi’s snicker broke my concentration on Tate’s eyes and thankfully my rapidly building pulse eased. “Sav, I have proved my point. You are coming to Vegas. Start packing.” She rushed past me and disappeared down the hall before I could object.

  Walking into the living room, I felt a sense of unease crowd my body. Max ran towards me with a cheeky grin on his face and his arms out in front of me. “Mummy, I’m having a sleepover and Gramps said I can have ice cream for breakfast and lunch but vegetables for dinner.” Max pouted at the thought of vegetables. He wrapped his tiny arms around my legs, inviting me to lift him up. I posit
ioned Max on my hip and turned towards Mr. Davenport.

  Narrowing my eyes at them, I focused on the smirk on Mr. Davenport’s face and immediately felt my brow furrow as it all came to a crashing reality. He was using my son to make me go to Vegas.

  “When is this so called sleepover happening?” I scoffed, pulling Max closer to my body.

  Mr. Davenport took a step toward me, resting his hands on my shoulders. My eyes drilled into his as annoyance engulfed me. Slowly, he scanned my face and I knew the moment he realized I knew about this so-called plan. Did he really think I was that stupid?

  “Go to Vegas for the weekend, Sav, and have fun with your friends. Go crazy. Do whatever you want. Dance on bar tops if you have to. You’ll only be three hours away.” His eyes pleaded with me as he spoke.

  “I can’t leave Max.”

  “He will be here with me. I might spoil him too much and he may get away with hell but he will be with me, and I will call your numerous times a day if need be.”

  Max wiggled in my arms, begging to be released. Sliding down my body, he took off quickly with a giggle, running straight towards the kitchen and into Tate’s waiting arms. Tate picked up Max effortlessly and held him in his arms. Tate spoke quietly to Max, who looked up at him with admiration flooding in his eyes.

  Wherever we were or whatever we were doing, he always needed to be near Tate. Tate was the one who had to tuck him in at bed time. Tate was the one who was allowed to pick what book I read to him at night. And it was Tate who always got him up in the morning. A loud giggle erupted from Max’s tiny body as he squirmed in his arms while Tate tickled him. My heart beat frantically at the scene in front of me.

  I tore my eyes away from Tate and Max and moved through the house towards the sanctuary of the balcony. I desperately needed fresh air and space. I pulled open the heavy glass door and breathed deeply as the salty air hit my lungs. The thought of being away from Max terrified me. Panic shot through me, and I knew it was for completely selfish reasons. Max had been my world for almost three years. Not one day passed where I wasn’t with him. He protected me from the world. He gave me a reality I’d always wished for. But mostly he grounded me. In a nutshell, he was my life.