A Light to My Path

  “Do you know anything at all about how babies are made?” Delia asked her.

  Kitty’s face felt warm with shame. “I know Missy Claire married Massa. Now they sleep together and … and they want a new baby.”

  “That’s right,” Delia said. “Missy and Massa Fuller got married. You ain’t married, Kitty.”

  “Missus Goodman says colored folks don’t get married. She says there ain’t no weddings for cows and horses, and there ain’t none for slaves, either.”

  Grady scooped a tin cup off the table and threw it, shouting, “Missus Goodman is wrong!” It bounced against the wall with a crash.

  Fear tingled through Kitty. She glanced at the door, worried that Missus Goodman would hear the commotion and storm into the kitchen to punish them.

  “Grady, calm down,” Delia said.

  “Don’t tell me to calm down!” he shouted. “My mother went through the same thing! My first massa …” He couldn’t finish.

  “I know, honey, but you’re scaring her.” Delia turned to Kitty again. “Slaves certainly do get married. We call it ‘jumping the broom.’ It’s the same thing as the white folks’ weddings, with a preacher and everything. But slave or not, the Bible says it’s wrong to be making a baby with a man unless you’re married to him in the sight of God.”

  “I have to do what Missy says, don’t I?” Kitty was so scared she could barely hold back her tears. She never should have told Delia. Now she and Grady were both upset, and Kitty was going to get into trouble for it.

  “Please don’t say anything,” she begged. “Missy will get mad at me if I don’t obey her, and she’ll send me away to work in the rice fields again.”

  Delia pulled Kitty into her arms. “Don’t worry, honey. I’ll talk to Massa Roger for you. He’s a good, God-fearing man. I know he won’t allow this.”

  “He ain’t home,” Grady said. “And he ain’t coming home until next week.”

  “Do you know how soon your Missy’s planning this?” Delia asked.

  Kitty squirmed out of Delia’s arms and inched toward the door. She didn’t want to say another word. She’d said too much already. “I need to go back upstairs. Missy will be looking for me.”

  “Wait,” Delia said, stopping her. “I know you want to obey your mistress, but what she’s planning on doing ain’t right. You don’t have any feelings for Martin. You don’t want to be sleeping with him, do you?”

  “No, but—”

  “Then it’s wrong for Missy to try and use you this way, just so she can get what she wants. Making babies is a God-given blessing when a man and woman love each other, when they’re married to each other. It’s wrong for Missy or anyone else to choose a man for you and force you to have a baby with him. Do you understand?”

  Tears rolled down Kitty’s cheeks. “I guess so, but—”

  “Then please tell me when Missy’s planning to do this. You won’t get into trouble, I promise.”

  Kitty hesitated, unsure what to do. Grady looked angry enough to beat the truth out of her if she didn’t tell. She decided to trust Delia. “Missy says she’s going to talk to Martin tomorrow morning.”

  “We can’t let this happen to her!” Grady shouted. “We’re people, not animals! They can’t be treating us this way! We have to hide her, Delia. Or help her run away.”

  “No!” Kitty cried out. “Terrible things happen if you try and run. They always catch you and—” She couldn’t say the words. “I don’t mind having a baby if that’s what Missy wants. It don’t matter.” She tried to leave again, but Delia stopped her.

  “Yes, it certainly does matter,” she said. “Grady’s right. We need to stop this, but running away ain’t the answer. Maybe I can talk to Martin, and—”

  “I’ll marry her,” Grady said.

  Delia frowned. “How’s that going to help?”

  Grady reached for Kitty’s hand, holding it gently in both of his. “You and me, Kitty—we’ll jump the broom, okay?”

  “Why are you offering?” Delia asked him.

  Grady drew a deep breath. “When I worked for that slave trader I had to watch white folks mistreating slaves every single day for four years. And I had to help them do it. I hated it, Delia, and I swore I ain’t gonna stand by and let them mistreat us no more. If I can stop this from happening to Kitty, I will. Missy can’t be forcing her to sleep with Martin or anyone else if she’s my wife. But I won’t take advantage of her. We won’t make a baby.”

  “But Missy says I have to have a baby before she does or—”

  “No! We ain’t helping the white people get one more slave! Listen, Delia. They won’t ever know that she’s my wife in name only. We’ll get even with them. This is how we’ll fight back. Someday when Kitty falls in love, she’ll be free to be a real wife to someone because we won’t …” His voice trailed off. “I won’t touch her, Delia. I swear.”

  Delia studied him for a long moment. “You know you can’t be running all around with other girls no more if you supposed to be married.”

  “I know. Will you help me do this, Delia?”

  Kitty pulled her hand free from Grady’s. She was very surprised that he’d promised to give up all his other girlfriends for her, but Missy would be furious if she and Grady didn’t have a baby. “Please, I have to do what Missy says,” she begged.

  “You will, honey,” Delia said. “Except that Grady wants to marry you. Wouldn’t you rather be living with him than Martin?”

  Kitty had often wished that Grady would take her in his arms again and kiss her the way he once had. She envied the closeness she saw between Missy Claire and Massa Fuller. “Yes, I guess so. But Missy Claire says—”

  “I’ll talk to Missy Claire,” Delia said. “Don’t you be worrying about a thing. She won’t ever know what we talked about, I promise.”

  * * *

  Delia felt torn. It seemed like a crime to keep that poor girl so beaten down she had no self-respect at all. But if Delia taught Kitty to respect herself, then the abuse she suffered at her mistress’s hands would become torture. It would probably break Kitty’s heart to discover that the woman she thought cared for her was really mistreating her. Kitty had nobody else in the world to love, and the truth might even destroy her. Delia had tried to tell her about God’s love, but so far her words had been met with true incomprehension.

  At the same time, Grady’s offer to marry Kitty had given Delia great hope for him. Even if his motives were revenge and the desire to fight back, he seemed to care about someone other than himself. Maybe this was the Lord’s way of reaching Grady, to get him settled down and married. Maybe having a wife and babies to love would help crowd out the hatred. Because there was no doubt in Delia’s mind that Grady would never be able to resist loving a girl as pretty as Kitty.

  Delia didn’t sleep much that night as she tried to sort out what the Lord was trying to do. And to make matters worse, this whole nasty business had stirred up memories of the abuse she had suffered. The Lord had helped her to forgive, in time. He’d given her a beautiful baby girl—a child who wasn’t to blame for her father’s crime. Hating was a poison, she’d learned, and God had worked everything out in the end. But even though the Lord had healed Delia’s heart, it didn’t stop the pain and sorrow from being stirred up all over again like coals of a fire when she saw another innocent slave girl about to be abused the same way.

  Delia felt as though she’d lost a week’s worth of sleep instead of one night’s as she met with Missus Fuller and Martin in the morning room the next day. They met this way every day to discuss how the household would be run, what meals would be served, which guests were expected, and all the other tasks that needed to be done around the house. But after what Kitty had confided, Delia had a hard time feeling the respect she knew she should have for her mistress. She’d only known the new Missus Fuller for a short time, but she already wondered why Massa Roger had ever chosen to marry such a selfish, spoiled woman.

  She’d prayed all night
, hoping that Kitty had misunderstood; hoping that it was Missus Goodman’s idea, not Missy Claire’s, and that Missy would never carry out such a plan to mistreat her lifelong friend. Delia barely heard all of the other orders for the day as she continued to pray, asking the Lord to spare Kitty the abuse Delia herself had once suffered. But when the meeting was finished she heard Missy say, “You’re excused, Delia. Martin, stay for a moment longer. I need to have a word with you.”

  Delia hadn’t truly believed anyone could be so cruel until that moment. The injustice made her angry enough to tell a lie. God forgive her, but she would do it—not for revenge, but for Kitty’s sake.

  “Missus Fuller, there’s something else I need to be asking you before I go,” she said. “It’s about your chambermaid, Kitty.”

  “Yes, what about her?”

  Delia forced a big smile. “She’s telling me all about how you’re gonna give her the job of wet nurse, and she’s real happy to have such a fine job. I was a wet nurse for Massa Roger when he was just a tiny baby and I know what a fine thing it is to be trusted with Massa’s little baby that way. Kitty’s real proud that you’re asking her, ma’am.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  “She’s afraid to tell you this, ma’am … but she’s having someone else in mind to be the daddy of her baby.”

  Missus Fuller frowned as if the idea was ridiculous. “Oh, really? Who’s that?”

  “Massa’s coachman, ma’am. His name’s Grady. He’s a strong, healthy young boy, and I know he can be making a whole bunch of slave babies with her if you give him a chance. Massa Fuller thinks the world of Grady, too, don’t he, Martin?”

  The butler looked at Delia warily, as if unsure where this conversation was headed. “That’s true enough, ma’am,” he finally said. “Grady’s been working real hard for Massa all the years he’s owning him.”

  “Grady’s wanting to be with Kitty, too,” Delia added. “They can be making babies in no time at all.”

  It pleased Delia to see that Missy Claire was blushing. The color showed up plain as day on her white face. Missy should feel embarrassed for what she was forcing her slaves to do. Delia only hoped she hadn’t gone too far and made Claire angry by being so blunt.

  “Fine. Kitty can be with the coachman,” Claire said. “Is that all, Delia?”

  “Then they have your permission to jump the broom?”

  “To what?”

  “That’s the slave folks’ ceremony for getting married. Massa Fuller always allows us to jump the broom as long as we ask him first. He knows his slaves are happier and they’re working harder if they’re getting married and having families of their own. Kitty and Grady will be needing your permission, since Massa ain’t here. But once they jump the broom, I’m sure they’ll do what you want them to do right away.”

  Missy’s cheeks were so bright it was as if she had stood uncovered in the sun too long. She seemed very eager to end this discussion. “Fine. Have your little broom ceremony or whatever you call it,” she said with a wave of her hand, “as long as it doesn’t interfere with Kitty’s work. Tell the two of them this won’t change any of their other duties.”

  “Thank you, ma’am.”

  As Delia left the room, she heard Missy say, “Never mind, Martin. You’re excused.”

  * * *

  Grady stood alone in Massa’s rear courtyard, staring blindly at the puddles that dotted the brick pavement. The wind blew through the tree branches overhead, showering Grady with drops of cold water. It had finally stopped raining, but the night was cloudy and moonless. He and Kitty would have to jump the broom by lantern light.

  He had wanted to get their phony wedding over with quickly, with no fussing at all. But Massa had returned home earlier than expected and insisted on throwing a regular party for Grady and his bride. Massa told them to wait until Saturday night, the end of a long workday, so the slaves could stay up late and have the following day free.

  “Invite all your friends,” he’d insisted. “Faye can roast some pork and we’ll buy a keg of cider.” Massa Fuller even promised to come outside with his wife to watch.

  “You sure picked a gloomy night to get married, young man.” Grady turned to face a tall white man dressed in black. He was wearing a preacher’s collar. “I’m Reverend John Howard, and I’m here to perform the ceremony,” he said with a smile. “Delia tells me you’re the lucky groom.”

  “That’s right. I am.” This wedding was getting out of hand as far as Grady was concerned. He certainly hadn’t wanted no preacher-man to come—and a white preacher, at that. “Where’s Delia?” he asked harshly. The preacher’s smile faded.

  “She and the others are setting up the buffet table in the washhouse in case it starts raining again.”

  “Excuse me. I need to have a word with her.”

  “Now what?” Delia said when Grady pulled her aside. “You ain’t having second thoughts, are you?”

  “What’s he doing here?” Grady asked, gesturing to the minister with a tilt of his head. “I don’t want no preacher at this thing. He ain’t supposed to be part of this. We was just gonna jump the broom, plain and simple.”

  “Oh no, you don’t,” Delia said. “I ain’t letting you two set up housekeeping together unless you’re married in the sight of God. Reverend Howard’s here to make sure everything’s legal.”

  “I already told you, I ain’t touching Kitty. Don’t you trust me?”

  Delia shook her head. “No, sir. You’re only human, Grady. But that ain’t why I asked him here. The other slaves are gonna know if it’s fake. So will Massa Fuller. We ain’t fooling him or anybody else. I’m doing this to protect Kitty from her missy, because she’s gonna get good and mad when you and Kitty don’t have a baby on time. We got to make sure she don’t give Kitty away to another man.”

  “I still don’t see why we need a preacher.”

  “He ain’t here for you, he’s here for Kitty. That gal deserves to have a real wedding with a real man of God. He’s gonna write everything down in his record book: On this date Massa Fuller’s coachman, Grady, and Missus Fuller’s chambermaid, Kitty, was legally married in the sight of God. Amen.”

  Grady stormed across the courtyard and up to his room above the stable to let his temper cool. The room, which used to be Jesse’s, looked different already with Kitty’s bundle of clothing and other belongings setting in the corner. Jim had built a new bed for the two of them, and it took up a lot more space in the room than Grady’s old one had. He’d moved his old bed downstairs to an empty corner of the stable. No one would know that he crept down there every night to sleep.

  Grady lit a lantern so Kitty could find her way upstairs in the dark later on, and he noticed her pile of drawings lying on top of her other belongings. He picked up the pages and rifled through them, shaking his head at the simple beauty of her work. How did she capture the grace of a tree or a bird or a face in just a few simple lines the way she did? It bothered him to see that she still crowded dozens of pictures onto one page in order to save paper, filling both the back and the front. Didn’t she have anyone she could trust to buy her some more paper once it ran out? Grady knew the answer to that question.

  He sighed and put the pictures back where he’d found them. Delia was right; no telling what Missus Fuller would do if she found out Kitty was deceiving her. He supposed he could put up with a white preacher and a little Jesus-talk for Kitty’s sake.

  When everything was ready, Kitty came down from her old bedroom to stand beside Grady in the courtyard. She wore one of the only two dresses she owned, but she had removed her work apron for the occasion. She looked scared to death. When Grady took her hand in his it felt as cold as spring water. He felt angry, not scared—furious with all these white people for making this sham marriage necessary. He barely paid attention to the minister as he made Grady promise to love Kitty all of his life and she promised to love him in return. Instead, he silently raged at the injustice that forced th
em to do this.

  Massa Fuller and his wife had come out to watch, standing off to one side, away from all the slaves. Grady was aware of Missus Fuller’s sharp eyes on them, so when Reverend Howard said, “You may kiss your bride,” he kissed Kitty with more than enough passion to be convincing. They were legally married.

  Next thing Grady knew, Martin and Delia were standing in front of him and Kitty, holding up an old broomstick. “Time to jump the broom,” Delia said. “Whoever lands first is gonna be head of the house.”

  Grady put his arm around Kitty’s waist so she wouldn’t trip over the handle—but he made sure he landed first. “Kiss her again!” Jim shouted, and all the slaves began banging pots and clapping their hands until he did.

  The night was cold and raw, and as soon as Massa Fuller had offered his congratulations, he and his wife went back inside the house. Grady was relieved when they took the white minister with them. Everyone else crowded into the washhouse where Faye and the others had prepared a table full of food. Jim had built a fire. The party grew noisy as people ate and drank their fill. Everyone seemed happy for them, offering Grady and Kitty their wishes for a long, happy marriage. He felt a little ashamed for deceiving them, but Delia had insisted that no one but the three of them should ever know the truth.

  When the food was gone and the night had grown late, the guests all began clapping and cheering and banging pots, refusing to stop until Grady carried his bride into the stable and up the stairs to their room. The guests stood outside in the courtyard below his window, continuing their racket as Grady snuffed out the lantern. He and Kitty sat side by side on the bed until the wild cheers finally subsided below them.

  “It’s dark in here,” Kitty whispered.

  “Yeah. There’s no moon tonight… . Are you okay?Want me to build a fire?”

  “No.” She exhaled as if she’d been holding her breath all night. “I sure hope Missy don’t find out that the only reason we done this was to make her mad. You didn’t tell nobody, did you?”