Forever Fredless

'You know, you’re absolutely right. Okay, I will. I will come with you. But only if it really isn’t a problem to take care of my harem of cats, Syd?'

  He reassured her with another kiss and a loving smile, and she beamed at everyone around the table.

  'So, what about you two,' I said looking at Anna and John, who smiled shyly.

  'That’s really sweet of you Kate, but we couldn’t. We couldn’t expect you to pay for our holiday,' he answered, gulping down what was left of his can of lager.

  'John,' I shouted, 'I’ve just inherited millions, for goodness’ sake! The least I can do is treat you to a holiday. Come on. Please come. It just wouldn’t be the same without the two of you. You must come. I won’t take no for an answer,' I decided.

  Anna jumped up from her chair, holding her glass high, 'Here’s to Kate – the best, most generous pal anyone could ever wish for. Congratulations, Kate – and thank you,' she yelled. Everybody followed suit, standing up and clinking glasses, laughing and giggling and looking forward to an impromptu holiday in the Portuguese sun.

  'What on Earth is going on?' asked Carly, rushing into the dining room wearing a pair of girlie pink pyjamas, 'What’s all the noise about? I’m trying to watch Gossip Girl and I can’t hear a word... AT ALL?'

  'Here, Carly, have a drop more champagne – we’re celebrating going on holiday. You’re all coming on holiday to the Azores with me,' I giggled as I handed her a drop more of the delicious liquid, which she took and sipped sensibly.

  'Cool! When are we going?' she asked.

  Jo tutted with a smile, 'Always the eager teenager.'

  I told her we needed to find a time that suited all of us, so we weren’t entirely sure yet.

  'Don’t worry, we’ll give you plenty of time to pack,' I laughed, 'I’ll take you clothes shopping too,' I whispered, out of Jo's earshot. Even though Jo was very well off, she didn’t like to spoil her daughter too much.

  Carly beamed and put the glass down before saying goodnight again and returning to her bedroom.

  Later that night, when everyone had gone home on a champagne high and I’d returned to my cosy flat, I finally had time to think about the day’s surreal events.

  I knew I would never have to worry about money matters ever again, but it left me feeling strange and a bit preoccupied. For the first time in a long time, I really wanted to speak to my mum. There was something bugging me that had stuck in the back of my mind since Tony had given me the news. Had my parents kept something from me? Was Dad really my dad? Was I actually half Portuguese?

  The thought stayed in my head until I gradually drifted off to sleep. That night was the first night since I was twelve that I'd fallen asleep without thinking of Fred.

  CHAPTER NINE

  The sound of my mobile phone ringing woke me up. Diving out of bed, I tried to follow the sound of the jingle before it rang off. I soon found it, hiding under a cushion, in the lounge.

  'Hello?'

  'Katie, sweetie is that you?' asked a distant voice.

  'Mum! Oh my god – how weird. Just last night I was thinking about you. I really wanted to…'

  'Listen, darling. What is it? What’s wrong?' she asked, without giving me the opportunity to answer. 'I just knew something was wrong. I felt it last night. Well, okay, it wasn’t me that felt it but an African witch doctor told me you needed me.'

  Temporarily lost for words, I was shocked how a strange person in Africa could possibly know I needed my mum.

  'Are you alright, sweetie? You’re not hurt or injured are you? Do you need money or something?'

  That made me laugh out loud.

  'Darling? Why are you laughing?'

  'Mum, you’re never going to believe it but…' suddenly my phone beeped to tell me the battery was running low, 'Mum – hang on. Battery’s running out. Just a sec,' I screeched as I rummaged around in a drawer desperately trying to find the charger before it ran out. Plugging it in I held the phone to my ear, 'okay. It’s in,' I sighed.

  'Oh my god – you’re pregnant, aren’t you?' she shrieked down the phone.

  'Sorry to disappoint you, Mum, but no, you're not going to be a grandmother any time soon. I’d need a man for that,' I sighed as I listened to the almost audible disappointment on the other end of the phone.

  'But, speaking of being pregnant, I wanted to ask you about when you were pregnant with me...'

  'You did? Why?' she asked, without sounding at all guilty.

  'Mum, I’m completely serious here. Is Dad my …' I stopped for a deep breath, 'real dad?'

  There was a pause on the other end.

  'Mum?'

  'Darling, why on Earth are you asking such a thing?'

  'Please, Mum, can you just tell me the truth? Is Dad my real dad?'

  'Well, of course he is. What makes you think that he wouldn’t be?'

  I explained everything that had happened the previous day, eager to find out the truth about Uncle Sam. The odd thing was that she didn’t seem at all surprised that her only daughter was now a multi-millionairess.

  'Darling, even though your father and I have our differences, I don’t ever want you to think that he’s not your real father, because he is,' she sighed, 'but… I guess there’s no reason why you shouldn’t know the whole truth now.'

  The whole truth? My knees became weak and, afraid of what I was about to discover, I bent down and curled up on the carpet, 'Go on,' I muttered.

  'Samuel and I had an affair,' she admitted.

  I gasped. Even though she hadn’t been a part of my dad’s life for many years, the thought of her cheating on him hurt. It really hurt.

  'For how long?' I managed to ask.

  'Years. I’d be with him every time we went on holiday. He was the reason we went to Skegness.'

  'But I thought I was the reason we kept going back? I was the one that always begged for us to go back,' I said, suddenly realising that all that time, we hadn’t gone to Skegness because of me, but for her to have a sordid affair.

  'Your dad always wanted to go somewhere else for a change but, with both of us wanting to go back, he always agreed in the end. Although I never really understood why you were so desperate to return, year in, year out. You were always so miserable. But I wanted to go because of Samuel. He was a wonderful, loving man. When I became pregnant with you, we did wonder if you were your father’s or his. We knew when you were born that you weren’t Sam’s. You were the image of your father.'

  'Did Dad know about you and Sam?'

  'I don’t know. If he did, he never said anything. Your father loved me and even though we fought like cat and dog sometimes, he didn’t want to lose me. In the end though, we just couldn’t make it work. But he doted on you. Don’t you forget that, Katie.'

  I smiled, yet I was confused. There seemed to be so many questions, but nowhere to start.

  'But if you were so in love with Sam, why didn’t you stay with him, instead? Why didn’t you marry him and have his kids? Why didn’t you go back to him when Dad left you?'

  'Sam never wanted to hurt anyone. Even though what we did was wrong, he didn’t want me to leave your father. He couldn’t bear the thought of him being responsible for the end of someone’s marriage and, more importantly, he didn’t want to hurt you. I know, it was mad. That’s probably why he left you everything in his will. You were the child that could so easily have been his.'

  'But why didn’t you go to him when Dad left?'

  'I did, briefly. Don’t you remember? You’d already moved out.'

  'But why didn’t you stay with him?' I asked, confused.

  I could hear her catch her breath, as if she was trying not to cry.

  'He… he knew he was dying. He didn’t want me to see him deteriorate. He didn’t want me to see him die,' she sobbed, 'God, I wish I’d have just stayed with him. But he pushed me away. The thought of me seeing him like that tore him apart. He wanted to spare me the pain, too. He must have been so alone. I’m sorry, Katie. I’m sorry to be such a disapp
ointment to you.'

  The intense emotion crawled up the insides of my stomach like a caterpillar on speed.

  'You’ve never been a disappointment to me, Mum. I love you,' I cried.

  I could hear her sobs on the other end of the phone. I felt for her more than I ever had before.

  She managed to clear her throat and laugh a little.

  'Listen to us grown-ups, crying like little babies. I wish you were here, darling. I could really do with a hug right now.'

  Funny how we could be thousands of miles apart, yet we were having such a major mother-daughter moment together. We'd never been particularly close, but in the space of a few minutes, I felt closer to my mum than I’d ever been.

  'You’ve got Nick, remember, Mum. If you'd stayed with Sam, you wouldn’t have Nick now. Sam obviously wanted you to be happy and watching him die wouldn’t have made you happy, would it? He wanted to give you an opportunity to find love again. And you have,' I smiled as the tears rolled down my face and moistened my lips.

  'Thanks, darling. You’re my angel, you do know that, don’t you?' she said quietly.

  She hadn’t called me her angel since I was about twelve years old. I felt warm and fuzzy all over.

  We talked for a little while longer. I offered to send half of the money over to her but she was adamant that she didn’t want any of it.

  'Donate some of it to some African charities, Katie – that would mean more to me than anything,' she’d said.

  I was still so shocked about how calm she was about the money. Since being with Nick in Africa, she’d come to achieve what most of us can only dream of: complete unadulterated happiness, something that comes from inside, something that can’t be changed by any amount of money. I realised that’s what Sam had wanted for her. It must have been the hardest thing for him to do, but only he knew that it was for the best.

  We finally said goodbye with me promising to visit, as soon as I’d sorted out everything with the inheritance. I stretched out on the floor feeling calm; a flood of happiness washed over me as I realised that my mum was truly one in a million. It had only taken me twenty-eight years to realise it.

  CHAPTER TEN

  A month after Tony had first visited me, the arrangements for our holiday had been organised and we were finally on our way to the Azores for two weeks.

  We’d picked up a flight from Gatwick Airport and were spending three nights in Lisbon, before catching our next flight to the islands.

  It was the first time Liz had ever been on a plane and she was absolutely terrified. At the airport, even though it was very early in the morning, she’d had to be calmed down with a couple of stiff drinks. And on the plane, she'd looked like a corpse - sitting bolt upright with her eyes wide open, barely blinking. She’d refused to peer out of the window and wouldn’t eat a thing. Before we took off, she carefully watched the flight attendant as she demonstrated the safety points. She screeched at everyone to shut up and gave anyone the evil eye if they weren't listening. Landing was clearly the most painful part of the trip; all I can say is, I’m glad I wasn’t sitting next to her because she almost broke poor Carly’s hand.

  Being exceedingly grateful to have landed safely, she thanked the stewards profusely as we made our way down the aisle towards the exit. The moment we stepped out onto the steps, I had to shield my eyes from the bright sunlight that instantly kissed my face. A smile spread across my lips as I looked up at the intensity of the glorious blue sky. Even the scents differed wildly from the country we had left behind.

  'It's Oleander,' smiled a well-dressed elderly man to my side. 'The smell. Oleander.'

  'Oleander?' I repeated, turning my eyes from his. I followed his gaze and noticed a lovely hedge plant in the distance, covered in pink flowers. Somehow, the smell reminded me of my childhood. It's weird to say so, but it smelt like, like...

  'Wow, it smells just like Play-doh!' giggled Carly, who was still rubbing her hand, trying to get the blood to return to it.

  'That's it, that's exactly what it smells like. It's gorgeous,' I laughed as we began moving down the stairs towards the airport arrivals hall.

  We were all booked into a five star hotel on the outskirts of the city and, for a treat, I'd arranged for a couple of limousines to take us wherever we fancied.

  Julianne, a keen photographer, had brought along a very expensive camera in order to take photos for possible future editions of the magazine, so she and Carly headed out to the city centre to take pictures of the many beautiful sights Lisbon had to offer.

  Jo and Liz decided a pampering session was in order so were whisked off to a nearby spa. Anna and John decided to go for a romantic wander through the city streets, which left me alone; yet I was content to sit and do very little by the hotel pool, other than laze about and read the latest gossip magazines, one of my favourite pastimes.

  'Do you mind if I join you?' said a familiar voice approaching me.

  I put my sunglasses on top of my head and looked up.

  'Tony! What a lovely surprise. I thought you were meeting us in the Azores?'

  'I had some business to attend to here, so I thought I may as well tie it all in with your trip. I hope you don’t mind.'

  'Mind? Of course not. It’s really good to see you.. How are you?' I asked happily.

  'I’m fine, thank you. And you? How are you enjoying your new life?' he asked with a grin as he sat down on the lounger next to me, taking off his sunglasses at the same time.

  I smiled, knowing that ‘my new life’ hadn’t really changed much... yet. I knew it would soon, but I hadn’t wanted to do anything too drastic until I really felt ready. After my chat with my mum, I’d decided to take things slowly, one step at a time.

  'I’m great, thanks. Still a bit overwhelmed, actually, to tell you the truth.'

  'That’s completely normal, under the circumstances,' he said kindly.

  'Would you like a drink, sir?' asked the young, dark-haired waiter who jaunted over from the impressive pool bar just a few metres away.

  “Uma bica e uma agua das pedras, faz favor,' he responded fluently, before turning back to me 'Would you like a drink, Kate?'

  'A martini and lemonade please.'

  The waiter smiled, nodded and promptly turned around and headed back towards the bar.

  'I forgot you’re Portuguese,' I said as I closed the pages of the magazine and dropped it into my bag, 'It sounds like such a beautiful language. Perhaps I should try and learn a few words.'

  Tony smiled, 'It’s not the easiest language to learn, but it is worth the effort. Maybe I can give you a few lessons?'

  I laughed, 'I’d like that. I was always quite good at French at school, maybe that’ll help.'

  Our drinks arrived and I was quite surprised that Tony had ordered a fizzy water and an espresso.

  'Nursing a hangover are you?' I asked curiously, eyeing his drinks.

  Laughing, he quickly drank his miniature coffee and shook his head, 'No, no hangover. This is typical of what the Portuguese like to drink. And being Portuguese myself,' he shrugged his shoulders. 'I miss the coffee. English and American coffee doesn't quite do it for me,' he smiled.

  'Do you come back here often?' I asked, curiously.

  Since I’d met him, all I knew was that he was a solicitor, he was Portuguese and lived between New York and London. I presumed he was divorced because he didn’t wear a wedding ring, but did have a faint mark on his ring finger.

  Shaking his head, he told me he rarely had time to return to Portugal.

  'Perhaps now I’m working for you, I might get more opportunities to come back,' he suggested with a grin. 'But seriously, one day I’d quite like to buy a second home here. My wife talks about it all the time.'

  So he was married.

  'Your wife?' I said looking at his hands.

  He rubbed his ring finger with his other hand. He had long perfectly formed fingers with lovely clean pink fingernails. I looked at his face, waiting for a response, and for
a moment he looked rather sad.

  'Yes, I have a wife. Zara. She’s Portuguese too. She came with me to America when I began studying law.'

  'You must have been together for a long time then?'

  He nodded, 'Yes, you could say we were childhood sweethearts. We started dating when she was twelve. I was fourteen,' he said with a smile as he reminisced. 'That was a long time ago though.'

  I was hooked, curious to know why he looked so sad. I wondered what had happened, if anything, but certainly didn’t want to pry. He was my lawyer. Yes, he was becoming a friend but we hadn’t quite got to that stage where I could ask about his private life. I hoped we would become good friends though, because I found myself drawn to him easily in that way. Not romantically though, of course not.

  'I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling rather hot. Shall we go for a swim?'

  Clearly glad of a change of subject, Tony smiled, 'I’d love to but I have something that I really must attend to. Perhaps later?' he said, standing, as I messily wrapped my hair into a bun and removed my sarong.

  'Okay, then. I plan on staying here all day anyway, so I’ll see you later on,' I said as I walked towards the edge of the pool and slowly lowered myself into the cool water.

  Tony called out até logo and was gone.

  I swam for half an hour. It was bliss, because there were very few others lounging around the pool; it was utterly peaceful. There were no children screaming or splashing about, just a handful of other adults, clearly enjoying the quiet and the perfect afternoon sun. The waiter quietly hovered, waiting for the odd order for drinks or snacks, but other than that there was virtually no movement within the confines of the pool terrace atop our hotel roof.

  I lay down on a lounger and must have dropped off to sleep because, before I knew it, I was woken up by the trickling of cold water on my stomach. It didn’t make me jump though, it was far too pleasant.

  'Wakey, wakey, sleepy lady,' giggled Carly.

  I opened my eyes to find Julianne standing above me with her camera.

  'No – don’t take a picture of me. I probably look awful,' I grimaced.