Love on the Ledge

I realize there are so many little things that Bradley taught me or showed me while we were together. Things like swimming and learning to like the taste of whiskey and how to tie a proper fisherman’s knot and how to deliver a killer serve. I wonder if I’ll every truly learn to forget him.

  “How long has my mom had Xandro up her sleeve?” I ask, leaning my face towards the delicious sun.

  “You always think the worst of people,” Maria says. “He stopped by to give your mother a message from his mother. Apparently, Xandro just got out of a five-year relationship, and he’s looking.”

  “Well, you can save your money,” I tell my cousins, leveling my eyes at each one of them. “This is one pony you won’t be betting on.”

  Leti and River act all innocent, as if I didn’t see money pass through Leti’s hand. Surely she’s gotten River in on it, which is the last thing that River needs.

  “I say they end up dating by the end of the summer,” Maria says. “You’ve never not been in a relationship, Sky. You’re a serial monogamist. It’s like you have to be with someone or you can’t function.”

  Hearing that come from Maria of all people makes me pretty ticked off. “Considering I spent all my college years away at school, I don’t see how you can know that.”

  She purses her lips and brings her sunglasses down back over her eyes even though the sun is setting.

  “Well, I’ve got my money on someone else,” Leti says.

  I widen my eyes in her direction. She just can’t help herself when she’s around everyone. My cousins are a mini gossip mill. When our cousin Margie got knocked up it was like a round of telephone that, by the time it got to me, had exploded into a story of how Margie was pregnant with triplets and one of them was Asian.

  “Who?” Yunior asks. “I hope he’s not a doctor, because Nip/Tuck is going to have some serious competition.”

  He screams as the purple pool noodle hits him in the face.

  “You guys need to get your own lives,” I tell them, splashing everyone within distance.

  There’s a chant of “Aww, come back, Sky.”

  But I’m already walking away, my wet feet smacking on the warm blue tiles that create a path back to the house. I grab a half empty bottle of prosecco from the fridge and a plastic cup. That’s how classy I feel. I open the door to my balcony and let in the breeze that announces sunset.

  They’ve got me all wrong. But that’s okay. I’ve decided this summer I might surprise everyone, including myself.

  I turn the lock on my door and set the sand dollar on my bed. I pace back and forth weighing my options. What do I say? I’m not looking for a one-night stand, but I don’t want a relationship either. Sure, that doesn’t sound psychotic at all. After all, the boy just wanted to walk with me on the beach and I turned around and ran away.

  I wish I had Leti’s sweetness, River’s charm, and Lucky’s gusto.

  What do I have? A wishy-washy attempt at friendship. A broken heart that I have to work on before I let anyone else put their grubby hands on it—figuratively of course.

  I have a sand dollar, that’s what I have.

  I punch in the number, and wait.

  “Hello?” he says.

  Chapter 13

  Naturally, I hang up.

  My heart hammers in my chest, and I throw myself on my bed like the big, brave girl that I am.

  When he calls back I nearly jump out of my skin. Of course he’s calling back. If I don’t answer, he’s going to think I’m a creep. I’m not a creep, just a coward.

  “Hi!” I say, too high-pitched.

  “Hello? I just got a missed call from this number.”

  I’m a little disappointed that he doesn’t recognize my voice. But I plow through my embarrassment.

  “Hey, Hayden. It’s Sky—you gave River a sand dollar—” There’s a sentence I never thought I’d ever say out loud.

  He laughs. “I’m just kidding, Sky, I know it’s you.”

  I choke on my words. “How?”

  “River actually came up to me this morning while I worked on the gazebo. She gave me your number.”

  That bitch. “How come you didn’t call?”

  “I got the feeling you wouldn’t want that.”

  I let myself slide down my bed. My heart slips and slides inside my chest. No, no, no. “I’m sorry.”

  “You don’t have to apologize. It’s cool. I just figured if you wanted to talk to me you would call when you wanted to. I’m pleasantly surprised it only took twelve hours.”

  “You were counting?”

  I can hear a couch creak with his weight. The noise of the television goes away completely. He’s settling in to talk to me.

  “Oh, I’ve been staring at my phone all day. I even had my friend call me and make sure my phone was still in service. But enough about me. How was your day, Sky?”

  I’m glad he can’t see the smile plastered on my face. I like the way he says my name. Like the way he repeats it over and over, even though there’s no one else he could be talking to but me.

  “I prevented a potential calamity from happening.”

  “Did another hole appear on the roof?” he chuckles. “This time it wasn’t me, I swear.”

  I tell him about River and Luke’s Hot Dogs and the catering problem. “It’s one more thing I have to worry about.”

  “What else is there?”

  “Well, now there’s the gazebo that this guy is taking forever to build.”

  “Hey, now. That is excellent craftsmanship. It’ll get done before you know it.”

  I settle back into my bed, the voices from the living room filtering upstairs every now and them.

  “How did you end up working with wood?” I realize the way that sounds instantly, but it’s too late to take it back. “You know, building stuff. You know, carpentry.”

  There’s that laugh again. “When I was a kid we lived near a lumber yard. That was upstate before we moved out to the Island. This old man that worked there used to see me walk around by myself. He thought I was lazy and a vagabond, naturally. I just wanted out of the house when my folks fought. So he put me to work, shaving wood into pencils. I can make pencils, if you ever need them. I’m not just a roofer who builds gazebos and has great hair.”

  “No,” I say, “you’re all of that and also carry sand dollars in your pocket.”

  “I forget to change out of my shorts from the beach sometimes. My dad hates that. I’m sure it’s a safety hazard, but I crossed that line when I—” He whistles and it sounds like a cartoon elevator plummeting. “Fell right at your feet, Sky. Plus, sand dollars are the perfect way to make new friends. That’s how dolphins pay for everything they need.”

  “You’re crazy,” I say.

  “Thank you. That means a lot.”

  No, really. Hayden is nuts. How does he manage to be so innocent and sexy all at once? “How are you so happy?”

  He’s quiet for a bit and I feel like I botched it. Who likes to hear that they’re too happy?

  “Listen, if you knew the shit in my life.… Let’s just say that if I don’t make myself look at something positive—like falling through a roof and opening my eyes to find the most perfect human I’ve ever seen, or getting fired by my dad only to have him rehire me to build a gazebo where I can see your balcony and get a peek at your sad smile when you drink your coffee.”

  I shut my eyes. My body does lots of strange things. My heart leaps and falls. My tear ducts ache, but stay dry. My stomach flutters, and my skin shivers from his words and the cool breeze coming from the open balcony.

  “I try to look at the glass half full side of things. Otherwise, what’s the point of being miserable?”

  “You’re not part of some cult, are you?”

  I picture him shaking his head. Those blue, blue eyes. That full, full mouth. “Believe me, I’m no boy scout. I mean, I literally was a Boy Scout, with the badges to prove I can tie knots and light fires and all. But I’m not just happy for the sake of
it. I’m tired of seeing the sad parts of life. Aren’t you?”

  “Yeah,” I say honestly. “I really am.”

  We fall into silence, but it isn’t uncomfortable. I imagine myself sitting beside him, watching each of us find comfort in a little bit of quiet.

  “Why did you call me, Sky?”

  Then the comfortable part goes away and a million things rush through my head again. Wedding. Cake. Photographer. Bradley. Stella. Bradley and Stella. Maria rolling her eyes. River smoking. Xandro’s skinny margarita. Centerpieces. Hayden. Hayden. Hayden.

  “I honestly don’t know,” I laugh nervously.

  “Hey, that’s okay, too. I don’t need a reason. I just…wondered.”

  I push away all the thoughts that aren’t about Hayden and me and the present. I focus on this moment and his phone call and stop myself from trekking through the past or freaking about the future.

  Don’t be an idiot, River told me.

  “I just wanted to talk to you, I suppose.”

  “I suppose that’ll do,” he says, jokingly. In the moment of silence I imagine he licks his lips, and then my thoughts focus on that—his perfect full lips. The fullest, most kissable lips I’ve ever seen on a guy. “I know someone hurt you real bad, Sky.”

  My heart runs laps around the room.

  “No one told me, I just know. I don’t want to be the guy who chases after a girl with a broken heart.”

  My disappointment tells me that’s exactly what I wanted, and I feel a little bit selfish. “Okay.”

  “So, let me be your friend.”

  I sink into the pillows, comforted by the softness of his voice. “My friend?”

  “Yeah, like two people who are totally not attracted to each other being friends.”

  “Oh.”

  “Just kidding. I’m completely attracted to you.”

  This is the part where I tell him that so am I. “Hayden…”

  “Look, I do want to get to know you. I can’t deny that you’re the most beautiful person I’ve seen in my whole life. Including Adriana Lima and Giselle Bundchen, but they’re folded up in catalogues under my mattress so it doesn’t count.”

  “So you want to be my friend, but you also want to let me know that you think I’m pretty.”

  “Sky, pretty doesn’t even begin to describe what you are,” he says. I decide I love the sound of his voice. “So being friends seems simple enough. Plus, I heard the old ladies talking about you and they said you’d be going back to Boston at the end of the summer. I don’t fancy getting my heart splattered. I’m a hazard to myself as it is. Simple, right?”

  “I don’t think simple is what I’d call it,” I say. I dig my toes into my comforter. I don’t know why I have a sudden urge to stretch, like my skin is too tight. I want to tell him that I’m not going back to Boston, but I’m still not sure. I have a job waiting for me if I want it. Or I can start over at a new place here in New York. I do want to go back to school, but so much is going on. I can even just say “fuck it” to everything and move to South Africa.

  “You’re a strange person,” I tell him.

  “Thank you. I like to think of myself as un-ordinary.”

  “Wouldn’t that be extraordinary?”

  “No, no. I’m not extraordinary. Not yet. I’m just not ordinary. I’d like to think there’s a difference, but perhaps my brain is just fried.”

  I realize how late it is.

  “Speaking of,” he says. “I have to get up to be at work by five o’clock.”

  “It’s midnight. I’ll let you go.”

  “If you insist,” he says. “But if I didn’t have to sleep, believe me, I’d stay on the phone as long as you’d let me.”

  “Or,” I say, “we could talk in person.”

  “You stole my line.” He chuckles. I love the sound of it. “I wanted to invite you to a bonfire at Tiana Beach tomorrow night. You know, now that we’re friends.”

  “I’d love that.”

  “Great. I’ll see you.”

  “Goodnight, Hayden.”

  “See you at home, Sky.”

  Tonight, I don’t need champagne. I already feel drunk on his words.

  Chapter 14

  But I don’t see him in the morning.

  I forgot to set my alarm clock and slept through all of their hammering on the other side of the house. I locked the door so that no one (ahem, River Thomas) would jump on me in the morning. I quickly check my email and see a new message from the DJ. He’s been pestering me for a bigger deposit after getting a mostly ’80s playlist. I mark it as important and decide to answer it after I’ve had coffee.

  When I get downstairs, my mom corners me by the coffee machine. My head is still fuzzy with sleep.

  “Sky,” she says. “Cousin Felipe and his wife are here with their daughter, Daisy. I told them Daisy could stay in your room until the guest room roof is patched up.”

  “Excuse me?”

  Cornered isn’t the word I’d use anymore. Ambushed is more like it. I take the coffee cup and put it in the machine slot. It lights up and asks for water. Of course, six hundred people are in the house and no one can refill it. While my mom stares at me and the coffee machine makes all kinds of robotic sex noises, I rub the crud from my eye with the sleeve of my robe.

  “Daisy can stay in your room.”

  “No,” I say.

  I take the steaming mug and hold it up to my nose.

  “What do you mean, no?”

  “Ma, Uncle Tony renovated the basement just so that people would have places to sleep. There are six beds downstairs.”

  “You can’t ask a little girl to sleep in a basement by herself.”

  “She won’t be by herself,” I say. “All the kids are down there. Maybe if you get your mind out of the gutter, you’ll see that this isn’t about Daisy. You just don’t want me to be alone for two seconds.”

  She gathers herself, holding her hands to her chest. “I don’t see what the problem is.”

  “The problem is, if Daisy is there, I won’t be able to entertain all the guys that come crawling through my window, Ma.”

  It’s the wrong thing to say at the wrong time because that’s when Maria and Yunior and Uncle Felipe and his wife and Daisy round the corner into the kitchen.

  My mother is mortified. I’m still pretty okay.

  “Good morning, everyone,” I say, giving them my best smile. I shouldn’t antagonize my family, but they make it so easy. “I’m going for a swim.”

  • • •

  Before my swim, I leave a message for the photographer to call me back. I ask the baker to email us the final design of the cake. I get the shipping confirmation for the one of a kind, handmade wedding toppers, each modeled after the grooms.

  I swim until all I can think about is the burn in my arms, as opposed to the fact that two of my younger cousins are over in the backyard trying to flirt their way into Hayden’s pants with lemonade and ham and cheese sandwiches.

  I push myself out of the pool and groan when I see that Xandro’s here, deep in conversation with Uncle Felipe’s wife. She’s grabbing her fat at the waist, and I can imagine he’s giving her a price quote. We have our own personal family butcher…how nice.

  “If you want to be alone with the guy,” Leti says from the pool chair behind me, “you only have to say so.”

  She thumbs a finger at the Sun God that is Hayden Robertson. My new friend.

  I throw the pool noodle at her, and she spills her margarita on her top.

  “Come on, Sky. Maria’s bringing her fiancé to the wedding. He’s going to be insufferable. Everyone else has dates. I’m getting pretty close, I just have to make sure he can handle his liquor.”

  I dive back into the pool. Even though I’m tired, I need a reprieve from them all. Even Leti. This pool isn’t deep enough, though. I’m going to need to dive into the ocean.

  When I surface again, brushing the chlorine water from my eyes, Hayden is sitting at the edge of t
he pool chatting with Leti. I swim to them, my breath more ragged than I’d like.

  “Hey,” I say.

  His face lights up with a smile. He’s red from the sun. His shirt is bunched up on his hands. He uses it like a towel.

  “You should jump in and cool off,” Leti says suggestively.

  “I’d probably need a good shower to rinse off the grime,” he laughs.

  I pull myself out of the pool and sit beside him. I’m so aware of the way my body tenses up when he’s near. I want to reach out and see how the five-o-clock shadow on his face feels against my hand.

  “The gazebo looks really great,” I say.

  “Believe me,” he says, “I’ve got a few surprises coming up. It’s going to be my best work. Especially after ruining your dress.”

  “Don’t worry about it!” Leti smacks him on the back. He nearly falls forward, but I put my hand on his chest. His pecs tense up. He stares at my hand plastered to his hard torso.

  I let go and try to ignore the way he smiles at me.

  “The good thing about having one of the grooms be a fancy designer is that he can sew up a new dress.”

  I wouldn’t put it that lightly. Pepe was furious, but Tony calmed him down. Tony’s a good balance for Pepe’s riotous emotions.

  “Am I still seeing you tonight at the bonfire?”

  I can feel the heat of his stare on my face. It only flickers down to my boobs once. Friends do that right?

  “We’ll be there,” Leti says.

  Hayden pushes himself up, dusts off his jeans. “I can’t wait.”

  • • •

  While I put waterproof eyeliner on Leti’s eyelids and River flips over her hair to get crazy volume, my cousins Maria, Elena, and Juliet stand at the door.

  “When are you leaving for the bonfire?” Maria asks. She’s wearing a black and red sundress.

  River shifts her weight to one leg. “Why?”

  “Because we’re coming, too?” Elena says, rolling her eyes. Nineteen and already getting lip injections, Elena looks more ready to go to a nightclub than a casual bonfire.

  “Who says you’re going?” Leti asks.