Rebecca’s Rose

  Levi stifled a grin by wiping his hand across his mouth. “That’s crazy talk, Mom.”

  “What’s her name?”

  “Rebecca.”

  “Where did you meet her?”

  “She, uh, she came into the store.”

  Mom scraped the onions and peppers from the pan into the quesadilla and folded it in half. With one quick flick of her spatula, she slid the quesadilla onto a plate and plopped it in front of Levi.

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  She handed him a fork and watched him eat. “And?”

  “What?” he said, sticking the first bite into his mouth.

  “And, what about the girl?”

  “She’s really nice and really pretty.” Levi concentrated very hard on cutting his quesadilla. In dread, he knew these pitiful bits of information were not going to fly with Mom.

  In a moment she seemed to lose her intensity. She sighed, found the dishrag, and wiped around the stove. “I’ve never seen so much hemming and hawing in my life,” she said.

  “There’s not much to tell, Mom.”

  Mom picked up the skillet and used it as a pointer. “Oh, there is a book of details you’re not sharing.”

  “More like a pamphlet.”

  “I doubt it.”

  He held up a piece of quesadilla. “This is really good.”

  “Will I get to meet her sometime?”

  “Come on, Mom. I gotta go to work.”

  “Okay, okay. But don’t think you’ll be able to avoid the subject forever. I’m persistent. My mamma used to call me ‘The Bull.’” A shadow fell across her face then disappeared.

  “You miss her.”

  “Of course. But she writes, and Barbara writes.”

  “It’s not the same,” Levi said.

  “No. Not the same.”

  Levi hesitated with the question on his lips he’d been wanting to ask. “Do you wish you could go back?”

  The question took her by surprise. “Why do you ask?”

  “Do you?”

  Mom leaned her elbows on the counter and stared at him. “Does it matter?”

  “Yeah, it does.”

  She sighed and surrendered to his probing. “I wish it every day. When your dat died, I was lonely. Brent was so good to me. I knew he would take care of you children. But I could never quite fit into his world. Remember when we moved to Chicago for, what was it, three months?”

  Levi nodded.

  “I had a major breakdown. I begged him to move us back.”

  “To be close to your family, even if they shunned you?”

  “That and because I couldn’t stand the big city. Too many people, too many buildings, no friends or neighbors. Everyone impersonal and indifferent. Brent was mad, but he moved us back.” Mom poured Levi a glass of milk. “It’s my fault he left.”

  “That’s not true, Mom. He’s a jerk, plain and simple.”

  “He got frustrated with me. I wallowed in self-pity, and it wore him down. He left because he couldn’t live with me anymore.”

  “He gave up on us, Mom. It wasn’t your fault.”

  She reached over and patted his arm. “No pancake is so thin that it doesn’t have two sides, Levi.”

  “So would you go back to being Amish? If you could?”

  “How could I do that to you and Beth? To ask you to live that life?”

  “As I remember, it was a pretty good life,” Levi said.

  “Not after cell phones and cars and computers.”

  “Beth is going to school. She doesn’t have to be baptized. She doesn’t even have to live that way, but she could visit all the time.”

  Mom got a strange look on her face. “And what about you?”

  Levi lowered his head and looked at his hands. “I could live there with you. I wouldn’t mind.”

  Mom stared at him for an eternity before sighing plaintively and clearing his plate from the counter. “It would never work. You two are my most important family. I wouldn’t do anything that would separate us.”

  Levi didn’t attempt to convince her of an idea that had only been passing through that Swiss-cheese brain of his. Rebecca had completely overtaken any reason or judgment he once had, and the thought of being with her had obviously overruled his common sense.

  Me, live among the Amish? Mom’s right. It would never work.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Levi handed Rebecca her ticket. “They’ll take this and give you a wristband,” he told her as they waited in line with what seemed like a million other people. A burly guy in front of him must have been jostled the wrong way because he turned to Levi and scowled.

  “Watch it,” he said.

  Levi glared back at him, and the man backed off. The crowds, the impersonal treatment, were the things Levi never got used to after his mom pulled him from his one-room schoolhouse in Apple Lake and enrolled him in public school. He hadn’t spoken English well, and the kids made fun of him. That year he got into a lot of fights. The loneliness he’d felt as a small boy, amid kids who couldn’t care less about him, was palpable—kind of how he felt surrounded by hundreds of people trying to get ahead of someone else into the amusement park. Good thing he had Rebecca next to him. He needed her presence more than she could possibly need his.

  Levi heard Rebecca’s breathing quicken as she caught sight of the roller coaster looming over the park entrance.

  He took her hand. “You don’t have to ride any ride you don’t want to.”

  She didn’t dignify his statement with a response, just kept her eyes glued to the monster thrill ride. Screams from riders pierced the air. Rebecca held her breath.

  He leaned over and whispered in her ear. “Rebecca, we don’t even have to go in.” Levi would have turned around and marched back home without a second thought.

  “Ach, Levi, stop it. You already know what I am going to say.”

  After fifteen minutes of bumping against people in line in the hot sun, they finally made it into the park. Taking a deep breath, Rebecca examined her map. “Where should we start?” she said, trying to sound thrilled but only managing to sound desperate.

  Levi took her hand and pulled her in the opposite direction Jason and Tara were headed. “You can go for the big stuff first or do something smaller and work up to the scarier rides.”

  “Let’s work our way up,” she said.

  “Then we should go to the indoor park first. You know”—he nudged her with his elbow—“to the kiddie rides.”

  Rebecca didn’t even make a face. “I love kiddie rides. And let go of my hand. It is not proper in public.”

  Levi rolled his eyes but let go of her hand…reluctantly. The feel of her skin sent him to the clouds.

  He cheerfully led her to the huge indoor space that echoed with loud voices. Tara wouldn’t be found anywhere near here.

  “Okay,” said Levi. “You’re too big for the ball pit, so the next wimpiest thing is probably the tea cups.”

  Rebecca looked in the direction he pointed. “That looks like fun,” she lied.

  Levi helped Rebecca into a bright yellow teacup. The average age of a teacup rider was probably eight years old, but Rebecca didn’t notice. She sat rigidly with her hands wrapped tightly around the wheel in the center and took deep, cleansing breaths. Levi didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. She was so cute in her determination to scare herself silly, but he couldn’t stand to see her in distress. It was going to be a very long day.

  The teacups rotated, slowly at first, and then at a speed that pushed Rebecca close to him with the centrifugal force. He liked her closeness but not the miserable look on her face as the teacups whizzed past each other at blurry-eyed speed.

  Once everything stopped spinning, Levi took Rebecca’s hand as she weaved her way off the ride. They sat on a bench, and she buried her head in her hands.

  “That was terrible,” she groaned. “Not scary, but sickening.”

  Levi brushed a lock of hair away from her face. “We can go ho
me if you want.”

  She mumbled into her hands. “No, this is fun.”

  Levi couldn’t help laughing. She was adorable.

  Rebecca snapped her head up. “Don’t laugh at me!”

  “Oh, weren’t you making a joke?”

  She cracked a smile. “Okay. It is a great adventure. Is that good enough for you?”

  Levi gave in to the urge to touch her hand. “Being with you is good enough for me.”

  “Manure. Too much manure.”

  Levi didn’t defend himself. He laughed harder.

  They sat until Rebecca decided she did not need to throw up and then, with determination, rode the rest of the rides worth doing inside. Once they stepped off the coaster with the ten-year-olds, they made their way to their bench. Rebecca sank onto it as if she would never rise again.

  “You know, if you hold your breath on the big roller coaster, you’ll pass out,” he said.

  “I’ll remember that.” She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. “Do you think we could go out and get some fresh air?”

  A wall of heat hit them as he led her through the big glass doors to a grassy spot in the shade. She stretched out on the ground and shielded her eyes from the sun. Levi sat next to her and tried not to think about how it would feel to lean over and brush his lips against hers.

  “Hey, Levi.”

  Tara and Levi’s friend Jason came toward them. Levi was afraid he might see the two of them today. Jason’s dad had gotten them all free tickets through his work. Jason had his hand in Tara’s back pocket. Tara grinned smugly. She cupped her hand around her mouth and whispered meaningfully to Jason. Jason looked at Rebecca and then at Levi, his eyes wide.

  Great. Levi knew exactly what Tara said so secretly, and Jason was going to freak out. Levi formulated a strategy as the pair got closer.

  “Is she okay?” Jason said, looking at Rebecca like she was from another planet.

  “Yeah, the last ride made her a little dizzy.”

  Tara stood over Rebecca. “Weak stomach, huh?”

  “A little,” Rebecca mumbled, sitting up and smoothing her unruly hair.

  Jason stuffed his hands into his pockets and trained his eyes on the ground.

  Levi took a deep breath. Might as well put all his cards on the table. “This is my girlfriend, Rebecca Miller,” he said. “She’s Amish.”

  Rebecca glanced at Levi and raised her eyebrows.

  “Yeah,” Jason mumbled. “Tara told me.”

  Tara tiptoed onto the grass and pulled Jason down to sit with her. “I didn’t know Amish girls were allowed at amusement parks,” she said.

  Rebecca smiled a genuine smile—pretty impressive when faced with Tara’s disdain. “Lots of Amish come to amusement parks.” She pointed to the building with the kiddie rides. “We saw an Amish family in there.”

  Tara stopped paying attention after a few seconds, but she seemed disappointed in Rebecca’s calm reply. She was obviously looking for a fight, not an olive branch.

  Jason, on the other hand, hung on to every word Rebecca uttered. He frowned and studied Levi’s face with puzzlement then pulled some grass and played with it absentmindedly. He was tactful enough not to press for answers while Tara and Rebecca were around, but Levi knew he would hear about it later.

  Sorry, Jason. How can I make you understand something I can’t fathom myself?

  Jason did probably the only sensible thing he could. “Hey, I’m going to get one of those slushy drinks. Any of you guys want one?”

  “No, thanks,” Levi and Rebecca said in unison.

  “No,” Tara said, “but you go. I’ll wait for you here.”

  Jason took off like a bullet from a gun.

  “We’re doing the water park,” said Tara, “if you want to come. I know Rebecca is allowed in a swimming suit.”

  “The roller coasters are next for us. Right, Rebecca?”

  Rebecca turned as white as a sheet. “I think I should go to the bathroom.” She stood but motioned for Levi to stay put.

  “It’s in that building over there,” Tara said.

  “Thanks,” Rebecca said, already jogging in that direction.

  Tara watched her until Rebecca was out of earshot. “Oh, she’s so cute,” she gushed. “Like your little pet.”

  Levi expected the viciousness. He didn’t even flinch. Tara couldn’t help herself, but he didn’t have to stick around to take it.

  He stood up. “I’ll go wait for Rebecca.”

  Tara grabbed onto his pant leg. “Okay, I’m sorry. I was just kidding. Man, you are sensitive.”

  “Really, Tara. I’m going to go wait over there.”

  Tara laid her hands in her lap and stared him down with her pathetic kitten look. “I’ll behave, I promise.”

  Levi hesitated.

  “I want to be friends,” Tara insisted. “I really want to understand about you and this new girl. You hurt me, Levi.”

  Levi recognized the manipulation but didn’t fight it. Groaning inwardly, he sat down and gave Tara his best no-nonsense expression.

  “I’ve texted you like fifty times,” Tara said, “but you never answer. I don’t see why we can’t be friends, even if you don’t like me anymore.”

  Levi shook his head. “Be honest, Tara. You want to get back together, and I don’t.”

  Frustration flashed in Tara’s eyes. “This Amish thing is new and exciting and kind of weird, but I know you too well to think that it’s anything serious.”

  No, Tara, you don’t know me at all. How could you, when I’m just beginning to know myself?

  “I can’t figure out if you feel sorry for her or want to ease your guilty conscience. I don’t know what you’re trying to prove, but you’re not fooling me.” Tara suddenly seemed two feet nearer with her face uncomfortably close to his. “We were really good together.”

  Levi leaned away from her. “Sorry, Tara. Being with you was really fun while it lasted, but I’ve never been happier in my life.”

  Tara pulled away. “Never been happier in your life,” she said caustically. She stood up and shoved her phone into her back pocket—not leaving much room for Jason’s hand. “Remember, you could have had me. Think about that on those cold, lonely nights.”

  She stormed away, leaving Levi with only pity for her.

  When Rebecca got back from the bathroom, Levi was lying on the grass with his hands propped behind his head. “Did you throw up?” he said, peeking at her with one eye closed.

  “Nae, but not for lack of trying,” Rebecca said, sitting at Levi’s feet. “Where is Tara and your friend?”

  “Tara is probably in the next state by now.”

  “Did you make her mad?”

  “Furious.”

  “Why?”

  “I told her I’ve never been happier in my life.”

  Rebecca didn’t say anything, and Levi opened his eyes to see her reaction. She was smiling but looked away when she caught him staring.

  “You called me your girlfriend.”

  Levi leaned up on his elbow. “Does that bother you?”

  “I can bear it.”

  Levi sat up. “Good, because the next phase of my strategy is to get you to hold hands with me in public.”

  “You will be stuck on that one for quite some time.” She laughed, and he saved that sound in his memory. He probably wouldn’t hear it again for the rest of the day.

  Levi got to his feet and pulled her up with barely a flick of his wrist. She was still so skinny. “Okay, are you ready for the rest of your day at Misery Park? I’m really looking forward to it.”

  She let out a breath and nodded. “Where to?”

  “I say we do go-carts first and save the big coasters for last. That way, you’re more likely to throw up at the end of the day instead of the beginning.”

  They made their way to the big Trojan horse. The long wait in line proved to be a bad thing, because the longer Rebecca stood there, the more agitated she became. By the time they came
to the front of the line, Levi couldn’t remember the last time he had heard her take a breath.

  Before they got into their little cars, Levi said, “You don’t have to—”

  “I know,” she said.

  Not very patiently, the attendant showed Rebecca how to use her feet on the pedals. “Don’t slam on the brakes,” he said, “or you’ll cause a crash.”

  Dread washed over Levi. One more thing to worry about on a long list of worries. Rebecca hadn’t the faintest idea how to maneuver a car, let alone have the instinct to push and release the pedals when she went flying around the track. The other drivers would eat her alive out there. He’d have to stay glued to her like a moth on flypaper. He clenched his teeth. Was it possible to roll the thing if she got going too fast? He said his third prayer in as many hours.

  Please, don’t let her die.

  Rebecca came out of the gates at a snail’s pace, but Levi knew her too well to think she’d keep to a conservative speed. She took perverse pleasure in terrorizing herself.

  She pushed on the gas too hard, then slammed on the brakes, then punched the gas and squealed her wheels when she tried to slow down. This stop-and-start sequence went on for about a hundred yards before she abandoned the brake altogether and sped through the course with her head hunkered down over the steering wheel.

  “Slow down, slow down,” Levi muttered as he doggedly followed her trail. She passed three other go-carts. Had she no sense of caution? By the time she thankfully reached the end of the course, Levi didn’t know whether the urge to strangle her or embrace her was stronger.

  After she finally braked at the finish line, she unbuckled her seat belt and stumbled out of her go-cart like a drunken sailor. He wanted to throttle her. He didn’t.

  “Did you see how fast I went?” she said.

  “Yeah, I did.”

  “I even passed three cars.” She panted and put her hand to her heart. “I thought I was going to die.”

  “So did I.”

  She walked almost deliriously in the direction of the first roller coaster. “That was the worst experience of my life,” she said. “But it’s off my list. Never, never have to do it again.”