Light Shadows

  I don’t have to look up to know what’s happening. I can feel my soul being ripped from my body. And why stop it? Why fight for someone who sees me as nothing more than a defect? I can’t even cringe when I feel Dorian’s essence being conjured from my body. The finishing blow was already dealt the moment he said he didn’t want me anymore.

  When he finishes just minutes later, I feel emptier than I’ve ever felt before. It’s not just his magic that left me—it was him. Dorian abandoned me. Now it all makes sense—his silence, his desperation. I felt it in his touch. I tasted his intent in his kiss, and mistook it for passion. He was trying to say goodbye all along, and I refused to accept it. I refused to let him go.

  Dorian still keeps his back to me, but I can see his head is down, and his shoulders rise and fall as if he’s panting. I won’t ask him to face me. Not now. Never again. He doesn’t deserve the satisfaction of seeing me broken apart.

  Stavros quietly steps away, turning to glimpse one of the only remaining paintings on the wall. “However, there is just one thing,” he muses.

  Dorian’s voice is raw, almost hoarse. “And what’s that?”

  “Insurance.”

  Before the last syllable leaves his lips, Stavros glides to stand before Dorian and grasps the younger man’s forehead. He digs into his temples so hard that I can literally hear the sickening sounds of Stavros’s fingertips scraping against delicate arteries. Dorian screams, and that pure, undiluted sound of fear and hopelessness brings me to my knees. I may hate him right now, but every agonized piece of me will love Dorian until the end of time. And I damn sure can’t stand to see him in pain—link or not.

  “Stop it! You’re killing him!” I cry, feeling wildfire skate across my palms. My hands rise automatically, controlled only by the power racing under my skin. In an instant, Stavros shifts, and his hand is secured tightly around my throat and lifting me up onto my feet, his other still grinding into Dorian’s skull.

  “Use it, and he’s dead,” he roars in that ancient, commanding voice.

  Mouth agape with terror, all I can do is hang there as I watch Death and Malice dance in the reflection of his eyes. He lets me go, focusing his attention on torturing his son. Dorian’s legs buckle and he lets out a blood-curdling shriek, causing the lights to flicker and sizzle before popping like tiny, glass fireworks.

  “That’s right,” Stavros rasps, bringing his son to his knees. “It will all be over soon.”

  The howling winds pick up and the ground quakes violently, stirring trinkets, dishware and food into a mini tornado. It grows, whipping around us, pushing our own bodies with the mere force of Stavros’s magic. A large hutch creaks and groans before splintering down the middle and joining the cyclone.

  “Watch out!” Niko yells, pushing me down to the ground just as large shards of broken glass marginally miss my face. His body is partially covering mine on the ground, shielding me from the quickly growing storm. It rips the paint and plaster off the wall, and yanks a huge chandelier from the ceiling that goes crashing into the sitting area. I hear both Aurora and Delia scream as we’re all pelted with broken slivers of crystal.

  I expose my eyes just enough to see Stavros and Dorian, both of their bodies flickering in and out of their human forms. It’s like watching them being electrocuted, each surge giving us flashes of skeleton and darkness. I’m only able to catch a glimpse of it before the twister condenses, pulling itself together around the two until they’re completely sheathed in rotating debris. It molds itself around them, gathering strength and speed, until it becomes nothing more than a blur, even to my superhuman eyes. And just when I think that it can’t go beyond its limits, it moves past the speed of sound, causing silence to settle over the room for only a mere second before it erupts entirely, incinerating the wreckage into shimmering sand.

  My ears are ringing, and I’m completely covered with dust. Coughing, I rub the dirt out of my eyes. Niko’s weight still covers my body, but he rolls away, also choking on the clouded air.

  “What happened?” I croak.

  “I don’t know.”

  He helps me to my feet just as the dust begins to settle, and we’re finally able to assess the fallout. Two lifeless bodies lay before us.

  One Dorian’s, the other belonging to the Dark king.

  I RUSH TO Dorian’s side, cradling his head in my lap. Not long ago, I was in this very same position, watching the life slip out of my mom. I can’t do this again. I can’t lose him, even if he doesn’t want me.

  Vampire servants rush to Stavros’s side just as he begins to groan. I don’t even give him a second of my attention. Dorian is hurt. He’s broken. In all the time I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him so weak. He has always been synonymous with power, strength and beauty. Now he’s a crumpled mess on the floor.

  “What do we do?” I frantically whisper to Niko, noticing the many eyes on us.

  “We have to get him out of here. He isn’t safe here.”

  I hear glass falling behind me as Aurora staggers to her feet. “Stop them! They’ll get away!”

  The vampires aiding Stavros look to their master, who has just come to consciousness. He gives a weak shake of his head. “He’ll be back.”

  That’s all the prompting Niko needs. His eyes find mine, shining with fear and frenzy. “Hold on.”

  He drapes his body over Dorian and I, sheathing us in his magic. I feel the pull, but it isn’t painful this time. It’s like falling from a forty-story building with no net. It feels dauntingly endless, until you’re not falling anymore. You’re gliding. You’re weaving through time and space in a blur of color, blazing through dimensions, until you suddenly hit an invisible wall. And you just stop.

  We’re at Niko’s mansion, sprawled on the floor of the great room. We’re all in one piece although Dorian is still unconscious, barely holding on. I clutch onto his listless frame, trying to both protect him and collect my bearings at the same time. Alexander flashes to us before I can even take a gulp of air.

  “What happened?” he asks, kneeling down to help us.

  “Stavros, happened,” Niko groans. He’s weak and ghostly pale, and his body trembles from head to toe. He used so much of himself to get us back here—probably more than he should have. But he did it because, like me, he wouldn’t give up on the people he loved.

  Niko manages to sit upright, supporting himself on the loveseat, and takes a deep wheeze of a breath. “He did…something…to him.”

  Alexander narrows his eyes while checking Dorian’s vitals, while I place a pillow under his head. “Something like what?”

  All Niko can do is shake his head before he begins to slip out of consciousness. His mask is completely down now, and his true form, which is nothing more than black smoke and bone, is revealed. Of course, this is the exact time that Morgan decides to enter the room.

  “Oh my God! What the fuck—”

  “Morgan, there’s no time for that!” I shout, making the difficult decision to leave Dorian to rush to Niko’s side before he topples over. “Help me hold him up. I need to heal him.”

  Sensing the urgency in my voice, Morgan reluctantly kneels on his other side, yet she’s careful not to touch him. Niko raises a brittle hand and gently grazes my cheek.

  “Niko, tell me how to help you. What can I do?” Sure, I healed Morgan, and even attempted to heal Donna, but it was Niko who stood right by my side. It was his words I heard when I conjured the strength to push my lifeforce into them.

  He opens pale, boney lips, but I can’t hear his words. I lean in closer, placing my ear right at his mouth. That’s when I feel those spiny fingers dig into my neck, pulling me down closer until ashen, dry lips are at the base of my throat.

  “Niko! What the hell—”

  He inhales in a broken breath, taking a deep draw of my magic. His hands tremble as he pulls my body down to his, practically fusing us chest to chest. I feel his mouth and nose stroking my collarbone before he takes another gulp. It’s en
ough to still the trembling, and I feel the coiled muscles in his body begin to loosen. I try to pull away, willing to excuse his actions as temporary insanity, but he flips me onto my back and wedges his body between my legs.

  “Niko! Niko, that’s enough.” I push, but he’s made of steel. And with him sucking in my power so enthusiastically, I’m left with minimal energy. Plus, I feel…high. Good. Like I’m floating beyond the clouds, basking in sunlight.

  I hear my dress rip and cold hair hits the top of my thighs, all the way up to my hip. The bodice of my dress is next to go, but before Niko can bury his face in my breasts, a hand clamps over his shoulder, urging him to let up.

  “That’s enough!” Alexander shouts. Niko shrugs him off, and dives back in, inhaling the curve of my cleavage. He groans, going in for one more life-draining pull, when he’s suddenly ripped right off me and thrown clean across the room. Alexander stands before me, his expression all fury and concern.

  “Are you alright?” he asks, extending his hand to help me up.

  “Yeah. I think so.” I take his hand and let him pull me up, careful to smooth the ripped dress over my body.

  When I’m on my feet, I reluctantly search out Niko, who is standing on the other side of the great room, horror and regret etched in his face. Still, he looks better now, and I know he’s stronger.

  “Gabs…” he rasps. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize what I was doing. I tried to stop, but I couldn’t.”

  I wave him off, yet it’s impossible to meet his forlorn gaze. “I know. It was an accident.”

  Starving for the distraction, I drop to my knees beside Dorian, who is still knocked out cold. He looks so small, so helpless. I keep expecting for his lips to twitch into a mischievous half-smile, or for him to open those dazzling eyes, just to give me a playful wink. What happened to him? What could have Stavros done to reduce this incredible force of nature to nothing more than a puddle at my feet.

  Alexander comes to stand beside me, his presence providing a needed sense of comfort and safety. “How is he?” I ask him, hoping he’s seen something like this before.

  “I can’t say. Whatever Stavros did was strong, which means it must be rare.”

  I nod. “It was strong. Left him almost as bad as Dorian.” I brush a lock of silken hair from his sweat-dampened forehead before leaning forward to gently kiss the clammy skin. He feels hot, yet cold under my fingertips, as if he’s breaking a fever. More than anything, I wish I could feel his pain. I wish I could just share this curse that has left him so weak and broken. “Help me get him to our room, please. I want to make sure he’s comfortable.”

  Alexander complies, lifting Dorian’s limp body as if he’s as light as a kitten. He follows me to our room, where he gingerly lays him atop the winter-white bedspread.

  “Thank you,” I say, as I remove Dorian’s shoes. “For helping me. And for saving me.”

  He gives me a stiff nod. “You’re welcome.” He turns to leave the room, but stops in the doorway. “Nikolai is a good man, but he’s dangerous. You should be careful with him.”

  “Can’t the same be said for all of you?” I snort.

  Alexander tilts his head to one side. “True. But there are some of us that struggle with bouts of addiction. Niko has a troubled past. There’s a reason why he’s considered the black sheep in that family.”

  I shrug, not wanting to hear any more, although I appreciate Alex’s warning. Niko isn’t perfect. Big deal—none of us are. And while I understand why Alex would like to pull the concerned father card after what just went down in the great room, it’s completely unnecessary. Niko had a moment of weakness. That’s it. And when you’re supposedly the strongest being on earth, yet your most debilitating weakness is love, you tend to sympathize with the forsaken and flawed.

  I sit and watch Dorian for over an hour before Morgan comes to check on me. After force-feeding me a cup of yogurt, she volunteered to stay with Dorian so I could clean up and change out of the ripped dress. I was done in three minutes flat. If Dorian woke up, I wanted him to know that I had never left him—that I had stayed loyal to him despite how he had betrayed me.

  Dorian’s curse was a double-edged sword. He couldn’t lie, so I didn’t have to ever question his words. When he told me he loved me, I knew he meant it. When he said he’d spend eternity making things right for me—for us—I never felt the need to question it. And when he looked me in the eye, announcing that he was done with me, I knew right then and there that he’d been certain.

  He didn’t want me anymore.

  I was just a phase—his walk on the wild side with the degenerate orphan.

  I shiver, still feeling the coldness in his ice-blue stare when he’d told me that I wasn’t like him. Being back home within those golden palace walls, must’ve made him realize just how badly he wanted his old life back. He was raised to be surrounded by magnificence. Not misfits.

  Still, I couldn’t just leave him to die. I’d stay by his side while he recovered. I’d do whatever it took to bring him back. And when he was strong again, I’d force myself to let him go. I wouldn’t keep trying to make him love me again, because I was smart enough to know that it wouldn’t be real.

  “Haven’t you tried to heal him? Like you did with me?” Morgan asks after several minutes of silence.

  I shake my head. “I’m afraid to. Stavros said if I used, he would die. I don’t know if that means healing too, but I can’t risk it.”

  She goes back to study the rise and fall of his chest. “Do you think he’ll be ok? Like, you don’t think he’ll…”

  “I don’t know.” I can’t even think about it. A world without Dorian isn’t an option for me. I couldn’t survive an eternity without him. Hell, I could barely survive a few months without him. Yet, here we are again, going around in circles while the future of our realm hangs in the balance.

  “He’ll come back,” she says, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “He loves you too much to let you face all this shit alone.”

  “I’m not so sure about that.”

  She turns to shoot me a side-eye. “You’re joking, right? The man looks at you like you’re the sun and the moon. Like you’re every single note in all his favorite songs. I’ve never seen anyone so devoted to another person before.”

  I shake my head. “Since when did you become president of the Dorian Fan Club? Do you have a special D patch on your letterman jacket?”

  “Haha. Very funny,” she chuckles. “I know what he did for me. He was the only one willing to help me see the truth when Alex and Niko would have killed me. And I know they were just protecting you, so I get it. But if it weren’t for Dorian’s love for you, I would have been nothing more than a pile of awesome hair, über stylish clothes and acrylic nails.”

  A laugh bubbles up in my chest, and as morbid as the conversation may be, I’m thankful for the distraction. Morgan squeezes my frame before resting her head on my shoulder. “He’ll be ok, Gabs. The man is as addicted to you as you are to him. He just can’t quit you, and he won’t even let death stand in his way.”

  But he did…

  He did quit me.

  And he didn’t even blink one of those long lashes. It was just that easy for him to leave me. Again.

  A silent tear rolls down my cheek, and I quickly bat it away. I’m not ready to go there right now. Maybe later, when I know he’s ok, I can properly hate him for breaking my heart for the umpteenth time. I can close the door on us once and for all. Lucky for me, I still hadn’t fully recovered from the last time he took his love away and discarded me like a used condom. So while it hurt—God, this shit hurts like hell—it was almost expected. I hadn’t just been waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was waiting for the entire leg to just fall the fuck off.

  Morgan kisses me on the cheek before standing to leave me with my thoughts. She smooths my tangled mess of curls, no doubt cringing at its less than styled state.

  “Even with what I am now,” she whispers before
turning for the door, “I’d give anything to have somebody love me like that. Mortal or immortal. Light, Dark, vampire, werewolf, angel, demon… I don’t even think I would discriminate. Like I said, Gabs—not even death would keep him from you. That’s the kind of love that people spend lifetimes searching for—the kind wars are fought for. It can’t even really be described as love anymore. It’s insanity of the heart.”

  I don’t respond—I can’t—so she quietly exits the room, leaving me to ponder her words. If what she said is true, then why agree to give Stavros what he wants? How could he look me in the face and tell me to go away? As if I’m some pathetic little puppy that’s been following him around, begging for a treat?

  “Gabs?”

  I look up to find Niko in the doorway, still looking as sheepish as he did earlier. I was so caught up in my own head that I didn’t even hear him come in. And while I’m still shaken by what happened earlier, I need to talk to him. If anyone would have insight on Dorian’s motives, it’d be him.

  I clear my throat and nod, sliding over on the bed to put more space between us. A part of me trusts him, but the other half doesn’t. “Come in.”

  “Thanks,” he mutters, scooting to the far edge of the bed. He knows I’m not exactly comfortable with him anymore, and it hurts him. I can see the pain and regret in his face. And, while I should just shrug and remind him it’s his own fault, I can’t. I’ll never be able to look at him as a monster. Not when I’ve already glimpsed the beautiful sadness of his soul.

  “I just want to tell you how sorry I am,” he says quietly, his eyes fixed on his older brother.

  “I know you are.”

  “No, you don’t,” he shakes his head. “You’ll never know how much it killed me to see what I’d done to you. I promised to never do that again…to never lose control.” His eyes find mind, and I nearly gasp at the agony inside them. “I hate myself for slipping up—more than you could ever know. And while I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I need you to know that I won’t stop trying to earn it.”