Loving Gigi

  He stayed above her, inside her, looking down into the most beautiful wild eyes he’d ever seen. As his breathing slowly returned to normal, he gave her a lusty smile and said, “You’re forgiven.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  ‡

  Bliss was the only word Gigi could think of to describe how she felt in Kane’s arms. When she’d left Annelise at their hotel suite, she’d told her she wouldn’t be late. She’d planned to apologize to Kane and then talk to him.

  She’d planned to keep her clothing on.

  Gigi closed her eyes and sighed with pleasure when Kane cuddled her closer to his side and kissed her bare shoulder. Being with him had felt right the first time, but this had been mind-blowingly right. An orgasmic epiphany.

  “Shit,” Kane said with a harshness that made Gigi’s eyes fly open. “I didn’t use a condom.”

  Gigi tensed, but didn’t know what the proper response to that revelation was? She’d love to announce she was on birth control, but she wasn’t. Outside of Kane, she hadn’t needed to be in a very long time. “I’m sure it will be fine.”

  Kane didn’t loosen his hold on her, but his expression had changed. He wasn’t happy. “I don’t make mistakes like this. And you shouldn’t either. There are way too many risks involved.”

  Gigi sat up and pushed her hair back from her face. “First of all, I don’t usually worry about birth control because I haven’t slept with anyone since college. Second of all, I don’t like your tone—”

  A grin spread across Kane’s face, and he spoke over her. “When did you graduate? Three years ago?”

  He looked so happy about it; Gigi was torn between irritation and amusement. “A little more than that.”

  “So you haven’t been with anyone since you met me.”

  Gigi rolled her eyes and swatted Kane’s chest. “A coincidence.”

  He rolled her on top of him. “Maybe, but one I like.”

  Gigi propped herself up with a hand on either side of his head. “What about you?”

  With feigned innocence, Kane kissed her shoulder and asked, “Have I mentioned how beautiful you are?”

  “You think I’m that easy to distract?” Gigi went to move off him, but he held her where she was and took one of her nipples gently between his teeth. He tugged on it lightly while running his tongue back and forth across its tip. Whatever annoyance she’d felt dissolved as a wave of desire rocked through her. She moved her hips back and forth over his hardening shaft, loving how he felt against the lips of her wet sex.

  They kissed and rolled. Teased and caressed. Neither was capable of a coherent sentence while they explored each other’s body. The first time had been rushed. This time was a slow, worshipping exploration.

  When being intimately connected was all either of them could think about, Kane knocked over a lamp trying to locate his condoms. He slid one on just before he entered her. Together they found a rhythm that brought them both to heaven and back.

  Later, with their bare legs entwined and Gigi’s head resting on Kane’s shoulder, Gigi lacked the words to describe how sated she felt.

  Kane caressed her back lazily with one hand. “Gigi. I want to wake up to you every morning and fall sleep each night with you in my arms. I’ve never wanted that with any other woman. That’s what matters.”

  Gigi kissed his chest. “I know. I won’t make the same mistake again.”

  Kane raised his head. “What mistake was that?”

  Gigi shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”

  Kane put one hand beneath Gigi’s chin and raised her face so she was forced to meet his eyes. “It does to me. What won’t you do again?”

  Gigi chewed her bottom lip as she chose her words. She did want him to understand what she’d learned since she’d last seen him. “I was holding people to unrealistic expectations. I see that now. I could give you a list of excuses why I was like that, but they don’t matter anymore. I appreciate you for the man you are, Kane. You don’t have to fulfill any ridiculous quest to prove to me that you care about me.”

  “Quest . . . are you referring to your mother’s things?”

  Gigi looked away, embarrassed she was so transparent. “I told you it was ridiculous.”

  Kane sat up and frowned down at her. “I love you, Gigi.”

  “I love you, too.” She scooted up to kiss him, but he stopped her midway. “What’s wrong, Kane?”

  “This is all wrong. I don’t want you to lower your expectations of me.”

  Confused, Gigi gathered the sheet up around herself. “Kane?”

  Kane slid off the bed and stepped into his pants. “I need to think about this, and I can’t do that with you next to me.”

  Gigi wrapped the sheet around herself and stood. Fight them as she tried, tears began to spill over. “Kane. You said you loved me. I said it back. Why are you upset?”

  Kane picked up Gigi’s clothes and handed them to her. “This doesn’t feel right.”

  Numb with the pain spreading through her, Gigi put on her clothes. “Really? Well, I’m glad we’ve realized this before I made a complete ass of myself and let you trample all over my heart. You’re a real piece of work, you know that, Kane? Is this your idea of some sick game? I hurt you in Edinburgh, so you do this to me?”

  Gigi pushed past Kane and made it all the way to the door of his apartment before he caught up to her. He made a grab for her arm, but she eluded him. “Gigi, don’t go like this. You don’t understand.”

  “I understand more than you think I do,” Gigi said angrily. She looked at the container of pasta and sauce and was angry for believing for one moment that Alessandro’s method would work with Kane. Angry with herself. Angry with Kane. Gigi opened the container and threw the contents first and then the container at him. “Here, have your damn sauce.”

  He looked more shocked than angry, but Gigi didn’t wait for that to change. She stormed out of his apartment and down to the lobby to call for a car. Her emotions were a tornado of confusion and hurt.

  It wasn’t until she was back at her hotel and retelling the story to Annelise that she started to cry. “He said my love didn’t feel right. What does that even mean?”

  Annelise poured a glass of wine for each of them. “It means he deserved to wear that pasta.”

  * * *

  Kane paced his apartment as he rehashed what had happened with Gigi. He knew she misunderstood what he’d said. He groaned as he remembered how he’d voiced his thoughts. What he meant to say was he wanted to be given a chance to prove his love to her. That she deserved a man who would do anything for her. He didn’t want her to see him as a man she could love even if he disappointed her. He wanted to be her champion. He should have told her he’d just recently completed gathering every item her mother had sold off, and the most expensive painting was presently hanging in the house Max had bought for her several years ago. A house that was proof of how much her brothers loved her. It was tangible evidence that she was one of them.

  Just as the painting he’d hung in that house was proof Kane was the man Gigi had hoped he would be.

  He’d wanted to tell her all of that, but he also hadn’t wanted to rob her of the experience. Hearing about what they had planned for her wouldn’t have the same effect as going to that house and seeing it for herself.

  Declarations of love and promises of forever were supposed to come after she understood how precious she was to him. Not before.

  That’s what had felt wrong.

  He sent her a text, but she didn’t answer it. He called her, but she didn’t pick up.

  I don’t think I got my point across well.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  ‡

  The next morning Gigi was packing to leave for the airport when her cell phone rang. It was one of her brothers. She sat on the edge of her bed and answered grumpily, “Hi, Luke.”

  “Heard you were in New York. Cassie and I are, too. Would you like to meet for lunch?”

  “An
nelise and I are flying out in a couple hours.”

  “Delay your flight. We want to see you.”

  Gigi’s throat tightened with emotion. She’d spent a sleepless night trying not to think about Kane and what he’d said. She wouldn’t let it come between her and her brothers, but she did need some time to put it behind her before she could face them. “I can’t.” She regretted how much she’d revealed with her voice.

  “What happened, Gigi? Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. I need to get out of New York.”

  “That works with my next suggestion. We’re having a family gathering on Slater Island on Saturday, and we’d like you to be there. Cassie and I could fly out there with you today.”

  Slater Island? That was the last place she wanted to be. She’d never be able to go there without thinking of the first time she met Kane. “Sorry, Luke. Another time.”

  Across the room Annelise halted packing her case and raised her eyes. She walked over, took the phone away from Gigi, and said, “Hi, Luke. It’s Annelise. What is Gigi turning down?”

  Gigi tried to grab her phone, but Annelise walked away with it. She spoke to Luke for about ten minutes before walking back near Gigi. “That all sounds perfect. We’ll fly in Saturday morning. Gigi owes me a tour of New York, and I’m not leaving without one.” She laughed at something Luke said. “Great. Looking forward to seeing you again.”

  Gigi was fuming by the time Annelise hung up with Luke. “What was that about? I said I didn’t want to go.”

  Annelise folded her arms across her chest. “I didn’t get dragged halfway around the world to attend whatever pity party you’re planning for yourself. You always tell me you value my honesty, but you might not like it this time. Life didn’t cheat you, Gigi. You have a wonderful mother. You’re healthy. You’re beautiful. And now you’re rich without having done anything for that fortune. It’s really hard to listen to you whine.” Annelise scrolled through Gigi’s phone. “You have brothers who want to be with you, but you turn away from them. Kane called you . . . five times? But instead of taking his calls you’d rather stay upset with him.” When Gigi opened her mouth to bring up what Kane had said the night before, Annelise waved it off. “I don’t care what he said last night. I’ve seen him with you. He’s crazy about you. You are your own worst enemy, Gigi. If you don’t figure out how to get out of your own way, you’re going lose everything. And it won’t be anyone’s fault but yours.” She tossed Gigi’s phone back to her. “Call Kane.”

  Gigi looked down at her phone. “I’m scared, Annelise. I don’t want to be my own worst enemy.”

  Annelise walked over and put an arm around Gigi’s shoulder. “You think you’re alone in that feeling? I’m twenty-five years old, and I’ve never had a relationship last longer than a month. I weigh myself five times a day because I’m terrified I’ll go back to the size I was in high school. I thought I had a career until my business partner decided her personal life trumped work, and now I’m along for a ride that will end, but I don’t know how, and I don’t know when. So, pull your shit together, Gigi. Because I need you every bit as much as you need me, and I’m beginning to freak out.”

  Looking at the last month through Annelise’s eyes was a wakeup call for Gigi. “How do you put up with me?”

  Annelise gave her a small smile. “You’re my best friend, and you always will be. You’ve weathered through my tough times. I’m not leaving you during yours. I wish I had the answers for you in this situation. I don’t. I just hate to see you walk away from your chance to have the life you always said you wanted because you’re scared. Life is scary. So what are we going to do, curl up in a corner and hide from it? Give your brothers a chance to be there for you and let Kane apologize if that’s what he’s trying to do. Have a little faith in them, and they just might surprise you.”

  After giving Annelise a long, grateful hug, Gigi sat down on the edge of her bed and called Kane. He picked up on the first ring.

  * * *

  Kane had been up all night cursing himself for not explaining his feelings better to Gigi. The more he thought about what he’d said and how he’d said it, the more he didn’t blame her for throwing food at him. Somewhere around two o’clock in the morning, Kane had called Gio.

  “Am I your one phone call because you were caught doing something illegal?” Gio had asked gruffly.

  “No,” Kane had answered slowly.

  “Are you in the hospital? Is anyone we know awaiting an emergency procedure?”

  “Nothing like that. I need to tell you something. I’m going to ask Gigi to marry me on Slater Island this weekend.”

  “Who is it?” Julia had asked in the background.

  “It’s Kane,” Gio said grumpily, sounding every bit like a man who had been woken from sleep and wasn’t happy about it. “He’s going to ask Gigi to marry him. Are you looking for my blessing?”

  “Yes and no, I will marry her either way. But it would mean a lot to me to know that you approve. Loving Gigi has opened my eyes. My father always said family meant more to him than anything else could. I believed him, but I didn’t get it. I understand now. Nothing matters more to me than Gigi’s happiness. You’re a part of that. I’m a part of it. It’s all connected and I want to make sure I move forward with Gigi in a way that brings all of us closer.”

  Gio sighed. “My sister had better say yes, because she will never find a better man. I’m going back to sleep, Kane. We’re good.” Before he hung up, he added, “Julia suggested you fly Leora in for the weekend. She said if you’re going to propose, her mother should be there, too. I’d do it. Julia’s good with these kind of things.”

  * * *

  After hanging up with Gio, Kane had called Leora and explained his plans for the weekend. She was enthusiastic, but not surprised. She said she’d known from the first time she’d seen them together they were perfect for each other. Her positive response, added to Gio’s acceptance, confirmed what Kane already knew—he and Gigi were meant to be.

  At four a.m. Kane acknowledged to himself that the plan he’d hatched with Nick and his brothers had a higher likelihood of success before Gigi stopped accepting his phone calls. He thought about the women he’d been with before her. Sex and relationships had come easily to him. Rather than looking for ways to win them over, he’d fought to keep things casual.

  He’d never worked this hard to be with a woman.

  He’d never cared enough to want to.

  Gigi was different. She wasn’t just a woman he wanted to be with, she was the only woman he wanted. Part of loving Gigi was embracing her uniqueness and wanting all of her, even the parts he was still trying to understand. He had been raised in a close family. Neither he nor Rena had ever known a day of rejection or fear. They’d never struggled financially, had never felt abandoned.

  When he imagined what it must have been like for Gigi to be raised outside of her family, hidden and ashamed, his heart broke for her. Was it any wonder she didn’t like surprises? She’d had enough unpleasant ones.

  She didn’t trust people easily, but she’d been given reasons not to. Once he started looking at their exchanges through her eyes, he knew exactly how he would win her back.

  He was dressed and heading out the door to go to her when his phone rang. He almost dropped it when he realized who it was and rushed to answer it. “Gigi,” Kane said with forced calmness.

  “Is this a bad time?” Gigi asked tentatively.

  “Never. I was coming to you.”

  She was quiet for a moment. “You were?”

  The hope in her voice sent a rush of warmth through Kane. “I may have done many things, but I have never lied to you, and I never will.”

  “I want to explain what I did last night.”

  “You mean dousing me with sauce?”

  She made a pained sound. “I’m sorry about that. No matter how upset I get, I don’t throw things. I don’t know what came over me.”

  “You were angry.”
>
  “Yes.”

  “And scared.”

  Gigi was quiet for another long pause, then she admitted softly, “Yes. I didn’t know what to do when you said my love didn’t feel right.”

  “I didn’t—” Kane stopped himself. This wasn’t about being right or wrong. He loved her and was willing to meet her more than halfway if she needed him to. “I didn’t express myself well last night. I know what I want, Gigi. I want you. I love you. Pack an overnight bag. I want to show you something, and I don’t think you’ll want to leave once you see it.”

  “I can’t go anywhere. I have Annelise with me,” Gigi said slowly.

  “Bring her,” Kane said firmly. “Tell her to pack an overnight bag, also. I know you don’t like surprises, Gigi, but give me a chance to show you what I failed miserably at explaining last night. I’ll be by to pick you up in an hour.”

  “I didn’t agree to go.”

  Kane wasn’t about to let that stop him. “One more thing. What’s your favorite flower?”

  “I don’t know that I have one.”

  Kane didn’t hesitate. “You remind me of white roses: honest, loyal, strong.”

  Gigi laughed softly in self-derision. “That’s the me I want to be.”

  A year ago Kane wouldn’t have understood what she meant. He would have seen her uncertainty as weakness. He used to think he had all the answers, but Gigi had opened his eyes to how much he didn’t know. Yes, she had emotional scars and fears left over from her childhood, but they only made her more beautiful to him. “I’m on my way now.”

  Kane hung up. He wasn’t giving himself a chance to say anything that would stop her from flying off to Slater Island with him. She might think she didn’t need him to prove anything to her, but she was wrong. That’s what had felt wrong.

  He wouldn’t settle for being less than her hero.

  Chapter Twenty-Three