His To Guard (Fate #6)
Not wanting to start another argument, she agreed. “I’ll start researching other small towns like this one. So far I’ve felt very safe here. I think it’s best we keep to places like this one.”
For now, she’d keep to herself that she wouldn’t be doing this for too much longer, but because of her need to stay close to Matt, it was actually convenient that she just go along with this at least for a little longer.
Her father let her in on what he knew so far. He and her other brothers weren’t in hiding the way Isaiah had first made it sound. But they were heavily guarded, lying low, and not going out into open areas where they might be targeted. Some of the men who’d ambushed her brother and uncle had actually been caught. Then he let her in on something even more significant.
“Ray and Rick are taking over the remaining business here in San Diego.” His words were as serious as they were somber. “The part without all the risk and danger. I’m retiring and moving to Florida. We’re still negotiating with the other partners about their share of the payout, but it’s looking like we may reach an agreement before anyone else gets hurt. They don’t want any retaliation, and I’m too old and tired of all this shit. This should all be over in the next couple of months—maybe sooner—and you can come home. I’ll keep you posted.”
It was the best news she’d heard in months, and she exhaled in relief. “I’m glad to hear it, Dad. I’m sorry it came to this. So sorry about Ron and Uncle Seth, but I’m glad it’s almost over. Mostly I’m glad you’re retiring from it all.”
She left out that she was also glad Ray, Rick, and their families were finally going to live a straight and narrow life without all the danger. It really was sad that one of them had to die for this to finally happen, but if she had to be honest, she was surprised they’d gone this long without one of them being killed if not all of them. Her mother had shared horror stories. Isaiah had been right when he asked if they were in the Mafia. Even though Dad had always argued that he wasn’t, they all knew the truth.
~~~
“Can you explain how you’re so close to these guys that you trust them with your life, yet no one, not even your father or brothers, knows about them?”
Considering how, once they’d gotten on the road, Isaiah had gone back to being an icy cold mute, it surprised Kelli that he’d suddenly ask something so personal. He’d been staring straight ahead for the past forty minutes or so, barely responding to any of the small talk she’d tried to make, so she’d resorted to just reading on her tablet and trying to ignore his overwhelming presence.
“I told you.”
Kelli didn’t bother to glance up from her tablet, feeling a little guilty that the corners of her lips were already tugging. She had a feeling he was holding back from asking more about her friends, and she wasn’t about to give him that information so easily. She’d already told him she respected his wishes about not wanting more with her. She had every intention of keeping her promise to not push for more. So continuing to be an icy jerk to her was unwarranted. If he wanted to be social only about the subjects he was interested in, then she’d make him work for it. “I’ve never been close to my brothers at all, and my dad doesn’t know any of my friends.”
It was all she’d offer. If he wanted more, he’d have to pry. She could almost feel the tension spread through the car as she continued to pretend to read and not say more.
“Do they both live out here?”
“Yes, they do.”
Isaiah straightened in his seat, clearing his throat when she didn’t go on, and for a second, she thought he might drop it. Then he went on, sounding even more irritated.
“So how did you get that close to them if they live way out here?” She could see through the corner of her eye he was peering at her now. “Please tell me you didn’t meet these guys online?”
Only because she could tell she was really trying his patience now, she finally set the tablet down and glanced up at him. “I’ve known Matt since I was thirteen. He used to live in the San Diego area. Then he and his mom moved back to her home town when I was in high school, but we stayed in touch. Gilbert is his cousin turned best friend when he moved to New Mexico. I chose the small town I’m living in now so I’d be close to visit them.”
Her more elaborate answer didn’t seem to satisfy him. In fact, he appeared even more irritated now, but he didn’t say anything right away.
After a few more minutes of tense silence, he spoke up again. “And you’re really that close to these guys even though they live so far from La Jolla?”
Kelli expected the confusion, but she had to wonder how many times he’d rolled his eyes since he’d begun to ask her about Matt and Gilbert. She hadn’t been watching him earlier, but she was now, and she didn’t miss the quick roll of his eye as he asked that last question.
“I am,” she said, beginning to resent his attitude about this. “We took turns every summer after he moved. I’d either come out here and stay with him and his mom for a couple of weeks, or he’d stay with me and my mom. The first summer he came out, he brought Gilbert with him. It’s how I got close to him too.”
Realizing she was saying too much now, she settled back in her seat and brought her attention back to her tablet. It was one thing to have fun giving him the same cold, curt answers he’d given her the whole beginning of the ride. But she didn’t like the way it almost felt as if he were belittling her. The disgust in his voice when he’d asked her about the possibility of her having met Matt and Gilbert online hadn’t been missed.
She got that he couldn’t understand why she had to take the risk of leaving the house on such an ill-timed day. But he didn’t have to lay on so thick how stupid he thought she was being. His being so blatant about that took from the amusement of giving him a taste of his own medicine.
“So he’s an ex-boyfriend?”
The icy edge in his tone had her glancing up at him. She’d seen that jaw work yesterday when she’d begun to notice his irritation with all the overly friendly men that greeted her in town then again on their drive home when he’d calmed a bit from the brawl he’d nearly been in. She’d seen it every time she’d been around him back home when she’d tagged along with Nathan just to get a chance to explain herself.
It was just one of the things about him that intrigued her so. She’d witnessed it from the very beginning. Kelli had never met someone whose personality could swing in such extreme conflicting directions. Just that morning she’d been witness once again to his tender side, the sweetness he was capable of bestowing on her.
He’d begun the car ride with his cold indifferent side, but this didn’t feel cold or indifferent anymore. He was now showing his explosive side, the side she’d seen yesterday. She had to be careful. As bittersweet as it was that he might be jealous—that the thought of them spending the next few days around her ex already had his jaw working—she didn’t want to overdo it. The last thing she wanted was for him to explode on Matt the way he had yesterday with the guy at the farmers’ market.
“No, we’ve just always been close friends.” Again with the eye roll. “We have!”
Isaiah turned to her with an unimpressed expression. “You took turns coming out to see this guy every summer and nothing ever happened?”
“Nothing.”
It was ironic that she might actually have to argue something she’d never believed in either—that guys and girls could be friends without feelings ever getting in the way and ruining things or at the very least make things weird so things would never be the same again. Gilbert was proof of that. Despite the reasons, it was the truth for her and Matt. She really wasn’t lying about nothing ever having happened between them. At least she could argue that point with a straight face.
“So why exactly is it so damn important that you take the risk of being out and about, on a day you should be hiding deeper than ever, just to come see this guy?”
“Because I’m very proud of him for this achievement and—”
He groaned, shak
ing his head before she could finish. “Never mind. I’ve heard enough.”
“Fine,” she said, turning back to her tablet. “Believe what you want.”
He didn’t say or ask anything again for another few minutes until he said, “Sign says next two exits are Lake Dempsey. Which one are we getting off on?”
Kelli squeezed her eyes shut, not looking up from her tablet when she answered. “We’re not. Keep going to Santa Fe.”
“What? You said Lake Dempsey—”
“Is where he lives,” she finished for him, bracing herself as she glanced up at him. “The award shindig is in Santa Fe, where he works. They’re already there because they’re making a weekend of it, so I told them I’d just meet them there.”
“Who’s they?” he asked, his tone even more severe now.
“Matt and Gilbert.” She attempted a smile, even as his glare practically burned a hole through her. “Besides, you’re gonna need to rent a suit or something. Lake Dempsey is actually a little smaller than DVA.”
As she’d hoped, the confusion distracted him from his annoyance. “What’s DVA?”
“Deep Valley Acres,” she said simply. “It’s what we natives call our little town for short.”
She saw the eye roll again, only this time it wasn’t nearly as hard as all the other times. It could almost pass for amused, and she thought she saw the corner of his lip tug, so she continued, hopeful that he’d get over this little surprise about their trip. “So if DVA doesn’t have fancy clothing stores, Lake Dempsey certainly wouldn’t. We can get you something in Santa Fe. Ever been?”
He nodded, the hardened expression returning as if it just came back to him that she’d pulled a fast one on him. “The other day when I flew in.”
“Is that the only time ever?” She straightened out, a bit excited. “I’ve been there a lot because of Matt. It’s breathtaking. I can take you around and show you the sights. There’re some really beautiful . . .” She stopped when he turned to her with a glare so murderous even his gorgeous thick lashes didn’t soften it. “What?”
“Do you understand the concept of lying low? Hiding out?”
“Yeah, but—”
“And, no, it’s not the only time I’ve been there.” He turned his attention back to the road, allowing Kelli a breather from that unrelenting glare. “I’ve been there a few other times, and I know it’s one of the largest and most touristy cities in New Mexico. It was bad enough you insisted on being out in the open today of all days, even if it was just some little hick town in the middle of nowhere. Now you want to stroll the streets of Santa Fe? Why don’t you just check in on Facebook so everyone can see where you’re staying tonight?”
“Okay, okay!” She felt like a scolded child. “I didn’t mean we’d stroll around. We’ll have to drive through the city to get to the hotel and then get your suit. I just thought maybe we could drive through some of the prettier areas.”
“I’m driving you straight to the hotel, where you’ll stay put until I get back from getting my suit. We’ll do whatever it is you’re here to do as discreetly as possible, and then we’re leaving as soon as we’re done.”
He muttered something else under his breath, but it was too low and the truck alongside them was so loud she didn’t hear it. “Look. I understand you’re just trying to do your job. But I never asked my dad to hire you or anyone else to watch over me. I’m a grown woman, Isaiah. I hate being treated like a child. Do you want to know the only reason I even went along with moving away and hiding in the first place?”
He turned to her, his expression still as annoyed as when he’d scolded her—as annoyed as she was beginning to feel.
“Because of you.” As expected, his eyebrows pinched together in disbelief, and she scoffed humorlessly, shaking her head. “How do you like that for irony? I was still fighting it even after someone broke into my apartment and roughed me up. Fortunately for me, my brothers got there just in time, and the guy jumped out my window.
Isaiah turned to her again, his expression as severe as ever. “Roughed up? What do you mean? What did he do to you?”
Kelli let out a frustrated breath and turned to stare out the window. Of course, this would be the only part he’d comment on. “He slapped me around a little, forced me into my bedroom, but he never actually said anything that would confirm he was there because of my father’s dealings. I fought back and ended up getting knocked out when he pistol-whipped me. My point is, because they didn’t catch him and we couldn’t know for sure if it had anything to do with my father's issues, I was still holding out on leaving my salons in the hands of my managers. But when I couldn’t rule out that your accident was actually just that—an accident—I couldn’t take the chance anymore. It was one thing for me to take a risk staying. I couldn’t put you at risk too.”
“So I agreed to a free vacation on my daddy so that I could leave town for a while. I figured it might help me get over the fact that I’d fallen hopelessly in love with a man I barely knew and who wanted nothing to do with me. Then of all people in the world that could’ve been sent to watch me, it was you!”
They both fell silent, and she wondered now if, like Isaiah, she, too, didn’t have an issue with just reacting, if she, too, should stop to think before spilling her guts like this. But mostly she was wondering now if he was going to ignore this too, the way he’d ignored the fact that she’d blown him off to protect him and that even months after she’d left town she’d held out hope she’d hear from him.
Chapter 14: Matt & Gilbert
Isaiah
Where was a cop when you needed one? Isaiah ground his teeth so hard, as he focused on his rearview mirror, he thought he might break a tooth. He’d gladly step on the gas if he thought there might be a cop close enough to see him and pull him over. Anything that would help derail this conversation.
It wasn’t that the revelation that Kelli was hopelessly in love with him wasn’t one that left him breathless—speechless—even if it might not be so hopelessly anymore. She had moved out of her place over a year ago. But the thought of her being in love with him upped the danger of him giving into what he was feeling. Already he’d slipped and that was before she’d admitted that she was still in love with him—before she admitted that she hadn’t returned his calls because she’d been trying to protect him from her life. Now she was saying this entire detour of her life was because of him, because she was trying to get over him, and she still couldn’t. If he didn’t feel for her what he was trying so desperately not to, he’d surely think her insane—at the very least full of shit.
“Do me a favor.” Isaiah swallowed hard and stared straight ahead.
“What?” Her voice was almost inaudible, and he could see from his peripheral vision she, too, was staring straight ahead.
“Don’t tell me you’re in love with me.”
“It’s the truth.”
Isaiah’s teeth were definitely in serious danger of cracking. The enamel was long gone for sure. He took a deep breath before speaking again.
“I can’t be hearing that, Kel, so please . . .” He felt as desperate as when he’d begged her to tell him to stop yesterday. “Please don’t say it anymore.”
The deafening silence continued for what felt like forever, and then she finally spoke again, but only to whisper her one-word response. “Okay.”
Remembering her tears back home, both in Los Angeles and at his brother’s awards show, he dared not even glance at her. He didn’t even want to talk anymore for fear he might force her to speak and he’d hear any pain she might be feeling, the very pain he, too, was now feeling.
How the fuck did he end up in this predicament? He’d been too quick to agree to do this for as long as they needed him. No telling how long he’d be stuck with her now. Even worse, no telling how much longer he’d be able to hold off doing what he knew he shouldn’t.
It was almost as if his prayers were answered. About ten minutes before they got into Santa Fe, Kelli’s
phone rang, breaking the painfully awkward silence.
“Hey, Matt.”
Just when Isaiah thought things couldn’t get any worse as he listened to her cheerfully talk about how much she was looking forward to seeing and hanging out with him, she ended the call with “I love you too.”
Continuing to gnash his teeth mercilessly, Isaiah fought the urge to ask her if she was hopelessly in love with Matt too. Instead, he took it as a gift. He’d use the irritation to fight any temptation he might have to believe she was actually still in love with him. Clearly, she was a very skilled liar. As convincingly genuine as her words had been, he wasn’t buying them now.
Ironically, her words from the night she’d said her final good-bye to him were further proof that she couldn’t possibly be in love with him like she was claiming. This entire past year they’d come back to haunt him.
The connection I felt after only one weekend with you is something I suspect will ruin it for every guy I meet from here on.
It had come to him every time he met someone new too, every time he’d hoped he’d find someone that would make him forget her but never did. It didn’t take long to realize she was the reason he’d found fault in every girl he met. There was never anything actually wrong with any of the girls he met. It was just that every connection he’d tried to make lacked that spark he’d felt so instantly with Kelli. He kept waiting for that thunderbolt he’d felt with her almost from the moment he’d laid eyes on her.
Sure, it could stand to reason that this friend she’d been so close to since she was thirteen was one she exchanged I love yous with. He’d heard of shit like that before, girls friend-zoning guys they claimed they loved so much as friends. But it was too much to stomach, and he still didn’t buy that nothing had ever happened between them. They were here today because, despite the danger she was putting herself in, she had to see him this weekend—had to be there for him for some stupid award. Just friends, his ass.
Squeezing the steering wheel, he pulled off the highway where she instructed him to. Now he welcomed the silence—needed it. He was afraid he might snap and say something he shouldn’t, if, aside from her directions, she said anything else to him.