His To Guard (Fate #6)
“Just so you know, I knew it too. It was why I couldn’t understand why you blew me off the way you did.” She started to say something, but he touched her lips with his finger. “I get it now. I really do. But I’m still curious about your past with Dylan.”
With a deep breath, she nodded and he pulled away slightly to give her a little room. “It was right around that time when I was feeling so confused and guilty about my non-feelings for Gilbert that his so-called best friend showed up that summer. We’d been hanging around the river like we did so often. It’s a small town, so they all knew each other, but Dylan was never a friend to either of them. I think they were more surprised than I was when Dylan stuck around and hung out with us the rest of the day then came back the rest of the time I was there that summer.”
Isaiah’s mood started to go south again as she started to explain how Dylan had flirted with her from day one. Then she told Isaiah how exciting it’d been.
“You saw him,” she said a bit too wide-eyed. “He’s nothing like Matt and Gilbert. He was the older bad boy, rode a motorcycle, had tattoos, and the crowd he normally hung out with was dangerous. He was every good girl’s fantasy.”
To his utter annoyance, she giggled. Fucking giggled! “Heck, I think even Matt and Gilbert had man crushes on him. That is until Gilbert started picking up on just how much Dylan flirted with me. I’d never tell them even now, but Dylan admitted to me when he and I started secretly chatting online and on the phone that he never would’ve gotten so close to Matt and Gilbert if it hadn’t been for me. Gilbert didn’t even start referring to Dylan as his best friend until after he found out about me staying in touch with Dylan online. But today was the first time he upped it a notch to ‘like a brother.’ Anything to try and guilt me.”
“How old were you at that point?”
“Almost seventeen. After I returned home that summer, things went downhill fast between Gilbert and me, not because of Dylan, but because of Gilbert’s neediness. I mean can’t you tell? It’s been years since this happened, and he’s still hung up on it. He wanted to talk to me day and night back then, always asking who I was spending time with, where I was. Before that year was even up, I broke things off with him over the phone. I couldn’t take his constant blowing up my phone. Only he insisted he wanted us to talk things out in person. But as far as I was concerned, it was over.”
“So why secretly?” Isaiah asked, raising a suspicious brow, and Kelli peered at him with a confused expression. “You said you started texting and chatting with Dylan secretly. If you weren’t with Gilbert anymore, why would you have to be sneaky about it?”
“Well, for one, after I broke things off with Gilbert, who I chatted with wasn’t any of his business anymore. And it felt awkward telling Matt about it since Gilbert was his cousin and we both knew how not over me he was. But there was nothing I could do about that. I always knew anything between Dylan and me would never go any further than our chats. It was just exciting. I was only seventeen, and here I had this twenty-year-old man flirting with me.”
Instantly annoyed, Isaiah didn’t even try to hide the eye roll that last comment elicited. From the looks of the guy, he hadn’t changed much. So Isaiah had to wonder if, by chance, his flirting with her tonight had in any way been exciting. But he didn’t ask and she continued.
“In hindsight, if I’d known this would hurt Gilbert so much that he’d still be harping on it after all these years, I wouldn’t have even continued the harmless flirting we did. It was mostly him, but I’m not gonna lie. I enjoyed it. You also have to remember I was only seventeen, young, selfish, and living in the now. I also knew Dylan never considered Gilbert a good friend, much less a best friend. But even so, if I could take it back, I would. People make mistakes when they’re young, and I’d like to think I’ve grown from mine. I’d never do something like that now. I could’ve lied to you about this, but I’m being completely honest here because I really hope you believe you can trust me.”
Isaiah peered at her, desperate to believe everything she was saying to him. She explained how her life changed drastically when her mother passed unexpectedly during a routine oral surgery. “I had no idea how common that was until she died so suddenly and I started investigating it. My dad wanted to sue, but we were told there was nothing that could be done. It was ruled an accident. She stopped breathing after going under anesthesia. The oral surgeon called 911 immediately, but she died a few days later at the hospital.”
Just as thoroughly as she’d explained about Gilbert and Dylan, she explained about her life after her mom passed. It’d been devastating, but she’d held it together for Matt. He’d been dealing with a lot himself. His aunt had relapsed, the cancer was back, and his own mother had been diagnosed with clinical depression.
Kelli also told him about how her father set her up in her own apartment and got her a car. He paid for her schooling and helped her get her first salon up and running. She did say, and quite proudly, that her hard work and passion for what she did was what ultimately made it a success and why she was able to open another one with minimal help from her dad a year later.
As Isaiah had begun to suspect, Kelli was being deliberately frank about everything. “As you can imagine”—she pushed her empty plate away, holding her stomach as if she’d eaten too much—“with things ending the way they did between Gilbert and me, any friendship we’d previously had was over for a while. We still spoke on occasion, and I got the feeling he was still hoping we could try again, but I refused. Then right around the time I turned twenty-one, Matt’s mother, who’d been really struggling with her depression after the death of her sister just a year prior, hanged herself.”
The pain Kelli still felt over that, even after these many years, was evident in her eyes and Isaiah reached his hand out to her. “Matt was the one who found her,” she whispered.
Isaiah listened silently, squeezing her hand at times as she told him about how all Matt had left now was Kelli and Gilbert. How he fell into a deep depression himself. Since he refused to move to San Diego to live near Kelli, and her business was so new she couldn’t move out to New Mexico, she’d had no choice but to join forces with Gilbert—the only other person who cared as much about her brother as she did. The phone call she got from Gilbert the other day and her needing to be there for Matt this weekend made complete sense now. If it had been one of Isaiah’s siblings, nothing would’ve kept him from being by his side either.
Kelli seemed more than willing to go on answering whatever questions Isaiah had, but he’d heard enough for now. He stared at her for a moment as she paused and seemed to ponder.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and she glanced up at him with the expected confusion. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a dick.”
She shook her head immediately. “I understand why you have. I’d be apprehensive of me too. Not only that, but hurt like hell had it been the other way around.”
Isaiah scooted up closer to her on the bed, and she immediately moved to straddle him, sitting on his lap, and brought her hands to his face. “That day you walked out into your uncles’ yard . . . You have no idea how badly I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole, especially after your sister explained you were her oldest brother.” She squeezed her eyes shut, but now that he knew the whole truth he wrapped his arms around her waist tightly and actually smiled, thinking back to that day. “I wanted to die!” she added, still squeezing her eyes shut.
Her eyes flew open when Isaiah chuckled. “Yeah, that was bad. When I first saw you, I thought maybe you were there to see me or you were just a friend of Em’s. So when Nathan said he had someone he wanted me to meet, I instantly had a bad feeling. Then when he introduced you as his girl”—this time he was the one who closed his eyes and shook his head, remembering the pain—“that was bad.’
That last part didn’t have quite the amused tone as when he’d started his comment. “Honestly,” she said, pecking him softly. “I don’t think I would’v
e kept my cool the way you did. I probably would’ve slapped you or something, so I was beyond grateful that you didn’t do anything immature like I might’ve.”
“Trust me.” He leaned in and pecked her. “If it had been anyone else but my brother, I probably would’ve.”
She caressed both sides of his face, tilting her face with a sweet smile. “Isn’t it crazy that, even with as much time that’s passed and everything that’s happened, this still feels perfect. It was exactly what I felt that first weekend with you and couldn’t figure out how that could be. But here we are again. It’s like we’re picking up right where we left off, and it doesn’t even feel strange.”
Isaiah nodded with a smile, ignoring the unease that still lingered—not about her anymore and not that he didn’t believe now that she could be trusted. Somehow he could see it in her eyes and feel it in her touch that she was being absolutely sincere about everything. Something told him she’d continue to go above and beyond to make sure he didn’t change his mind about making this work.
What she was saying now was absolutely true. This no longer felt impossible. How could it be when having her in his arms like this felt perfect? But until he had a chance to speak to Nathan—his family—the unease would linger. Only he’d keep that to himself for now. Right now he wanted nothing more than to finally enjoy the perfect.
“I agree. This does feel crazy. But I still think we need to get to know each other a little better, only without words now. We’ve done enough talking for tonight.”
He devoured her mouth as he’d been waiting to do since they’d begun talking, and instantly his mind was on the condom box in the other room.
Chapter 19: Intruders
Kelli
The moment Isaiah had returned to the bedroom with the box of condoms, he began leaving a trail of clothes through the room. Kelli had taken advantage of him leaving the room to rush to the bathroom and brush her teeth. She watched as he returned from the bathroom, now wearing a white robe that matched hers. It felt so reminiscent of that first weekend.
Even though Kelli had been able to fight the urge to jump off the bed and jump in his arms, she wasn’t able to sit still. She was on her knees at the edge of the bed and wrapped her arms around him the moment he was close enough. His big strong arms were around her instantly, and he kissed her deeply. Pulling back, he brought one hand to the front of her robe, opening it, and slipped his hand in, running his hand all over her naked body with a groan. His touch alone already had her entire body trembling.
“I love you,” he whispered against her lips and, before she could respond, added, “God, it feels good to finally be able to admit it. I love you, Kel.”
Even as he tugged her robe off gently and kissed her deeper, the lump at Kelli’s throat nearly suffocated her. She didn’t want to ruin the moment, but she couldn’t help feeling emotional. Unlike when he admitted to being in love with her earlier with a bit of frustration, the way he said it now was so incredibly sweet. Genuine. For so long, she’d yearned for this—something she was convinced was an impossibility. Yet here they were, and Isaiah was not only telling her but showing her how much he loved her—how much he wanted more than just this now.
As they moved further onto the bed, Kelli buried her face in his neck because the warm tears had filled her eyes, and she didn’t want him to see what a blubbering mess she was. With his robe off now too, she crawled onto his lap, straddling him as she pulled away, and their eyes met.
“Why you crying, baby?” He touched her face with a smile as if he already knew.
“I’m just so . . .” she whispered, unable to finish, and he kissed her.
“So what?” he asked as he gently pulled strands of her hair away from her face.
“So happy.”
“I am too.” He leaned in and kissed the corner of her eyes.
She leaned her forehead against his, wrapping her arms around his neck like she never wanted to let go. For now, she’d leave out that she was also terrified. The thought of losing him, now that he’d actually admitted to being in love with her, nearly choked her. Then he wrapped his arms around her waist tightly, and it made her smile. “This feels so perfect,” she whispered.
“I know what’ll make it even more perfect.” He lifted her slightly and adjusted himself underneath her then brought her down slowly.
Her head fell back as she slid onto him, coming down all the way until he was deep inside her. He groaned as she wrapped her legs even tighter around him so he’d go in as deep as possible. They sat still for a few seconds, enjoying the unbelievable sensation of being so together finally.
“I need you to promise me something.” He gazed deep in her eyes. “That you’ll always be as honest as you were tonight.”
Kelli nodded even as she leaned into his neck and kissed it then swayed her hips to feel him slide in and out of her. Their breathing accelerated as he, too, swayed his hips and they began moving a little faster. “You promise me?” His words were a bit strained now as she fell onto him, taking him in so deep again.
“Yes,” she gasped. “I promise.”
“Good girl.”
He lifted her hips again and slammed her back down, making her cry out in pure bliss. Again and again their bodies came together. They’d slow and then speed up, panting and moaning unabashedly. She was so wet now, making it easier for him to slide in and out even faster.
“That feels so good,” she said as she sucked his neck and made him squirm a little.
“That feels good.” He groaned.
Kelli could feel his body tremble as she sucked his neck, so she sucked harder as the buildup for her began. Together she swayed her hips and Isaiah lifted and brought her down. Just as they had that first weekend, they’d easily found the perfect rhythm now. It was building fast, and Kelli could already tell it was going to be good. She panted against his neck, unable to suck anymore because she could already feel herself coming undone.
Isaiah pulled back, bringing her face to his, and he kissed her hard, nipping her bottom lip just as the enormous release began. Her entire body was on fire with pleasure. “Oh my God!” she cried into his mouth.
Just then he pushed her back down onto him with a groan, and he buried himself deep inside her, freezing that way for a moment. They held on to each other for dear life, still trying to catch their breath as the waves of pleasure consumed them.
Minutes flew by before they were able to unravel themselves from each other’s hold. The moment they did and cleaned up, they collapsed onto the pillows on the bed, staring at the ceiling, still a bit breathless.
For a moment neither said anything, until Kelli had to. “This still feels too good to be true. Is this really happening?”
Isaiah lifted himself onto his elbow, turning to her and leaning his face to her. She stared at those beautiful eyes she’d dreamed of so much this entire past year. “It’s happening, Kel.” He traced her lips with his finger. “I don’t know how I was able to keep from hunting you down like I was tempted to so often. My cousin would’ve found you.”
“I know all about that kind of temptation.” She was almost embarrassed to admit the next part, but she promised she’d be honest, and she was determined to be, no matter what. “Even after the humiliation of being rejected with such finality—” His pained wince made her stop and shake her head. “Don’t feel bad. Even though it hurt, I understood why you would. It was actually just another thing to admire about you. Given my experience with Dylan, someone who didn’t care an iota about flirting with me even in front of Gilbert, seeing how adamant you were about not betraying your brother only confirmed you were exactly the kind of guy I could fall for: honest and loyal. I had to fight the temptation to try and convince you just one more time that we had something special—that we were meant to be—because I felt it here.” She pointed at her chest and he nodded. “But I had to respect your decision.”
“I felt it too, but I can’t take full credit for being completely se
lfless about all this. Guilt had a lot to do with the willpower it took to keep me from hunting you down.”
She peered at him, confused. “Guilt? About what? There’s no way—”
Isaiah shook his head, taking a deep breath. “This isn’t the first time something similar to this has happened between Nathan and me.”
Kelli listened intently about Desiree, the girl Nathan lost his virginity to when he was just sixteen. She was Nathan’s friend’s older sister. “Long story short, she used him to get to me. Went as far as sleeping with his dumb ass to pump him for info on me. She found out where I’d be on the weekends so she could show up.” He shook his head in disgust. “She was as conniving a bitch as they get. It’s long and convoluted, but she hated the girl I'd been seeing off and on and wanted nothing more than to throw it in her face that she’d slept with me, no matter what it took. Thank God I didn’t sleep with her. She was only seventeen, but she lied to me—told me she was almost nineteen. The way she behaved it wasn’t hard to believe. She came on so strong my gut said I better not, but I did make out with her a few times. Of course, I had no idea my younger brother was pussy-whipped on her ass. So when he found out I’d been with her, he went apeshit.” He chuckled, despite the expression of distaste still on his face. “I’ve never seen my sister Olivia so pissed. She wanted to kill Desiree. Needless to say, my brother was gutted. He was young, naïve, and actually believed he was in love. Worse thing is he was at that young teenage rebellious age and started to really give my mom and me hell.” He stopped and stared her in the eyes. “He’s a grown man now, but at the time, my parents were divorced and my dad had moved to California.So it was especially hard to try and be the disciplinary father figure, when I knew he was so pissed about the whole Desiree thing.
As sad as it was to hear about how the girl broke Nathan’s heart, it relieved Kelli’s heart a little. While she absolutely understood and respected Isaiah’s loyalty to his brother, it still had hurt that he could so easily decide he wanted nothing more to do with her. This made more sense now, but it also terrified her. “Isaiah, are you sure you’re gonna be okay with this? I mean, as much as I want this to happen, I’d hate for this to come between you and—”