Trust Me

  They were nice enough men, both in banking they said, mid-thirties, well-dressed and staying at the hotel while they completed their business in Perth. After the tray of tea was taken away the men insisted on buying them a drink and then asked them to have dinner with them. May agreed without even asking Dulcie if she would like it, and while the men went to the dining-room to book a table, Dulcie told her off.

  ‘We don’t know them, we can’t,’ she said flatly.

  ‘Oh, don’t be so stuffy,’ May retorted, taking her compact out of her bag to powder her nose. ‘I’m hungry and you must be too, it’s our last night together and they are nice.’

  ‘But I’m engaged to Ross,’ Dulcie said. ‘I don’t feel right about having dinner with another man.’ She wanted to say she’d never even been in a proper restaurant before, let alone to dinner in a smart hotel dining-room, and she was scared of showing herself up. But she couldn’t bring herself to admit that.

  ‘You don’t have to do anything other than eat the dinner and chat,’ May said quite calmly. ‘Do it for me, I really like the look of Mike, he’s my type.’

  Dulcie had thought Mike was nice-looking, with dark hair, sharp brown eyes and olive skin, but she was sure he was married, single men didn’t have the sort of confidence he had. Yet while she was thinking how she should say this, without sounding like a kill-joy, May told her to close her eyes and hold out her hand because she had something for her.

  She did as she was told and heard May rustling her shopping bag. ‘You can open your eyes now,’ May said as she put something box-like and heavy into her hand.

  Dulcie gasped when she saw it was a little red transistor radio, the very one she’d looked at earlier today. ‘Oh, May,’ she exclaimed, forgetting she was cross with her.

  ‘Sorry I couldn’t wrap it up, but I had enough trouble buying it without you seeing me,’ May said, looking a bit anxious. ‘I hope you like it.’

  ‘Like it! It’s wonderful, just what I always wanted, but you shouldn’t have, it’s much too expensive.’

  ‘I earn more than you do,’ May laughed, the tension fading from her face. ‘I’d been saving up to buy you something special for your birthday next month, and it seemed so perfect. But it would be hard to post, so I want you to have it now.’

  After that Dulcie didn’t feel able to object to anything, not even being picked up by two strangers. She had three port and lemons, and by the time they went into dinner she was too tiddly to be intimidated by the posh dining-room with its snowy tablecloths and candles. Mike and his friend James were nice, even if they did keep teasing her about living out in the bush, the steak dinner was one of the best she’d ever eaten, and she felt even more relaxed after a couple of glasses of wine too. It wasn’t until she saw it was nearly ten that she grew anxious again. ‘We must go now,’ she said to May. ‘Joan will be worried about me.’

  She expected May to protest, but surprisingly she didn’t and even asked James to get her a taxi. ‘I can’t come with you, your taxi goes the wrong way,’ she said. ‘But I’ll get another one after you’ve gone.’

  They said goodbye on the pavement of the hotel, Dulcie clutching her shopping bag holding the pair of tight denim jeans she’d brought that morning, and the radio, while the taxi James had paid for in advance waited. As they hugged each other, Dulcie was suddenly very aware that their time together had run out and there was no time left to say all the important things she’d planned to say tonight.

  She looked out of the back window as the taxi drove off and saw May still standing there waving, looking like a model in her red sheath dress with her hair up in a beehive. Dulcie’s last thought was that she shouldn’t have left her little sister alone with two men, but the port and the wine numbed her anxiety and she was almost asleep by the time she got home.

  ‘How was it being with May?’ Bruce asked as they drove out of Perth three days later to return home. ‘As good as you expected, or disappointing?’

  ‘Different to how I expected,’ Dulcie said thoughtfully. ‘She’s all grown-up, she seems older than me now.’

  ‘Well, that’s good news,’ he chuckled. ‘One less person for you to worry about.’

  Dulcie smiled as if in agreement, but she wasn’t so sure in her mind. During the last three days relaxing at Joan’s house, she’d had time to reflect on many things about her sister. She was worldly and very chic, confident and composed, all such admirable qualities. Yet Dulcie did feel disappointed that she hadn’t once managed to break through her sophisticated veneer and catch a glimpse of what lay beneath.

  Maybe it wasn’t a veneer, it could be that was all there was to May – after all, even as children their temperaments were quite different. Yet it was strange to her that May gave so little away about herself. Every time Dulcie had drawn the conversation towards their childhood or even to what May really wanted for herself in the future, her sister had quickly turned it back to films, clothes, music or makeup. The way she’d talked so effortlessly to the two men in the hotel suggested she’d done it before. She had spoken of her friend Angelina, yet she hadn’t taken her to meet her. Was it because she was afraid Angelina might let slip something May didn’t want Dulcie to know about?

  Yet it was so generous of May to buy her the radio, that proved she had a kind heart. It could be herself who was the strange one? Maybe she was at fault in wanting to dig up the past, and May could very well be so well adjusted she had no interest in it. As for Angelina, well, maybe May hadn’t wanted a third party intruding on their time together – why did she have to find that suspicious?

  By the time Dulcie and Bruce arrived back in Esperance two days later, having stopped overnight in a small boarding house, Dulcie’s mind had moved away from May on to the forthcoming harvest, and Ross. She couldn’t wait to see him and tell him everything she’d done and seen. It was going to be lovely working out in the fields with him again, for even though getting the harvest in was exhausting, it was fun too.

  Eleven days away had made home seem so much more desirable than city life. While it was lovely to have some new, fashionable clothes and a little more experience of how others lived, going away had heightened her sense of belonging down here. As she saw the clear blue water of Esperance Bay, the pine trees, the fishing boats and the sleepy, safe little town, a lump came up in her throat for she loved it all.

  Ross welcomed her back with real delight, picking her up in his arms and whirling her around. ‘I missed you so much,’ he said, his voice cracking with surprising emotion. ‘It feels like you’ve been away for ever.’

  John, Ross and Bob had cooked their meals themselves while she and Bruce had been gone, but though they’d washed up and watered the garden, that was all they’d done and the whole house looked dusty and uncared for. Yet that pleased Dulcie because it showed she was needed, and when John and Bob came bounding over to see her and Bruce, she felt their real affection.

  That evening, over a hastily put together meal of corned beef, mashed potatoes and baked beans, there was so much to talk about. Bruce was invigorated by seeing his old friends up in Geraldton. He’d been out riding in the bush, something he never did here any longer, and had spent evenings in a pub swopping stories with stockmen. The old sparkle came back into his eyes when he spoke of buying a couple of horses because he’d got lazy driving around the farm all the time, and as John was equally enthusiastic, suggesting they might even do some breeding, Dulcie felt that the new decade of the sixties which would soon be here was going to bring some big changes to all their lives.

  She told them all about May with pride, and showed them her new dress, jeans and the transistor radio. It was a little disappointing that the reception wasn’t as clear as it had been in Perth, but it was a thing of wonder to John, Bob and Ross that it could run on such small batteries and be carried around. None of them had ever see one before.

  Bruce had ordered a freezer while he was in Perth. He had first heard that they were being made for domestic use
in 1957, but the cost had been prohibitive until quite recently. To be able to keep slaughtered meat for months on end was an exciting innovation, for though down here in Esperance they could buy fish and quite a variety of other foods, and didn’t live entirely on mutton and corned beef as many bush farmers did, it would mean they could kill and store their own beef. Bruce said the salesman had claimed that within a year or two frozen vegetables would be available too.

  ‘It’s good to have you both back,’ John said with a wide grin. ‘I told Ross that once Dulcie got a taste of city life she’d be off.’

  Dulcie looked at Ross, sensing just a tiny bit of malice in John’s remark. Ross was grinning, but his eyes were cold.

  ‘I liked it while I was there, but this is home to me,’ she said quickly.

  Bruce broke up the evening at nine o’clock by saying he was going to bed, the long drive had tired him out. Bob and John immediately got to their feet, but Ross stayed, making it plain he wanted to talk to Dulcie alone. This was a first, in the past he had always been awkward about their relationship and his position as junior stockman, so he mostly left the house with the other men, and Dulcie had to go outside and sit on the veranda so he would feel able to return and speak to her.

  John and Bob were hardly out of the door, and Bruce was still in the bathroom, when Ross moved over to sit beside her on the couch. ‘Can we get married now?’ he asked.

  Dulcie was often dismayed by Ross’s lack of diplomacy. He appeared unable to grasp the concept that there was almost always a right and a wrong time to pass on a piece of information or to ask a question. While this wasn’t the wrong time exactly, she felt he could have led up to it by asking about her holiday, was she tired, truly glad to be back, and had she missed him?

  ‘Is the house on fire or something?’ she asked sarcastically.

  ‘Well, I need to know,’ he said.

  ‘Right this minute, before I’ve even had time to collect my thoughts?’

  ‘You shouldn’t need to think about it, it’s either yes or no.’

  ‘No it isn’t, Ross,’ she said a little impatiently. ‘There’s maybe too. I do want to marry you, but it might be better to wait for a year or so. That’s what I need to think about, and so should you.’

  ‘But we were going to do it last January and we couldn’t because of Betty. Suppose I wait another year, then Bruce gets ill and you have to nurse him. Am I always going to be last in line for your time?’

  ‘What’s brought on this sudden impatience?’ she asked, shocked at his selfishness. ‘Has John been teasing you about me all the time I’ve been away?’

  ‘No. But I missed you and I got to think you might be just stringing me along until someone better turned up.’

  ‘If I was hoping for someone better this wouldn’t be a very sensible place to wait.’ She laughed mirthlessly. ‘No one ever comes here.’

  He kissed her suddenly without any warning, hugging her so fiercely he almost crushed the breath out of her. ‘I love you, I need you and I can’t wait any longer,’ he blurted out.

  The passion in his voice touched something deep inside her, and she kissed him back lingeringly. The warmth of his lips, his darting tongue meeting hers sent shivers of delight down her spine. As she heard Bruce go into his bedroom and close the door, she relaxed further, sinking back into the cushions on the couch, and drew Ross closer.

  Maybe it was different just because it was the first opportunity they’d ever had to be here in the house together with no one around, but for the first time in their courtship, Dulcie felt that Ross really wanted her now. He wasn’t stiff and holding back any longer, his hands were running along her sides and her back, making her tingle from head to foot. She could feel her breasts throbbing, a yearning deep down in her belly.

  She could feel his excitement, hear his breath growing louder as his kisses became more intense, he was almost on top of her now and for the first time ever she could feel his penis hard against her. As he cupped his hand round her breast and the tingling feeling grew even stronger, all at once she understood that this was real love-making, a prelude to sex, and she knew she wanted it.

  His hard, slender body felt so good. She ran her hands down his sides as he kissed her, delighting in sensing his immediate response. His fingers fumbled at the buttons on the front of her dress, but at last he had them open and his hands snaked in to touch her breasts. She felt his frustration as he had to find his way through her slip and then her bra, but suddenly he was fondling her breast, his fingers playing with her erect nipple, and nothing in her life had ever felt that good before.

  Arching her back, breasts pushed at him, her hands ran over his buttocks as she undulated her lower body against his. ‘I love you, Ross,’ she whispered, knowing that now she felt this way he had to be the only man in the entire world for her. ‘I will marry you, as soon as you want,’

  One of his knees was between her legs now, pushing at her and making her lose all control. His breath was coming ever harder and more laboured, and his kisses deeper and more sensual, then suddenly he made a kind of deep moan in his throat, shuddered and became still.

  Dulcie felt the change in him instantly, but didn’t understand it. He sat up, ran his fingers through his hair and looked distinctly uncomfortable. ‘I’d better go now,’ he said gruffly. ‘Bruce won’t like me being here after he’d gone to bed. We’ll talk to him about the wedding tomorrow.’

  He was gone before Dulcie could say anything.

  The following morning Ross stayed behind after breakfast to ask Bruce if he minded if they got married in January.

  ‘If that’s what you want,’ Bruce said, looking from Dulcie to Ross with a slightly stunned expression. ‘I know someone that’s got a caravan for sale, I’ll get in touch with him about it. I’d like to suggest you both stayed in the house with me, but I don’t think that would work. I think you need a place of your own.’

  Dulcie wondered why Bruce didn’t look more pleased. She knew he really liked Ross, he’d said she ought to wait until she was sure, now she was, so what was the matter with him?

  Ross went back out to go with John and see if the barley was ready for harvesting. ‘Are you really sure, Dulcie?’ Bruce said almost the minute the screen door had shut behind Ross. ‘Has he railroaded you into it?’

  ‘No, of course he hasn’t,’ Dulcie said indignantly. ‘I love him, I want to marry him and be with him forever.’

  Bruce sat down rather heavily by the table. He looked old suddenly and a little confused. ‘I wish Betty was here,’ he said. ‘She could have told you things I can’t.’

  Dulcie blushed, she was sure he meant about sex. ‘I do know about all that stuff,’ she said softly. ‘I know I still look very young but I’ll be twenty-two in a week’s time, and Betty wasn’t even that when she married you.’

  ‘Maybe I’m just jealous,’ he tried to smile. ‘You’re both so young with your whole lives ahead of you, and I’m an old man.’

  ‘Not so old,’ she said, and walked over to him and lightly smoothed his cheek. ‘And we’ll still be here to help look after things, nothing much is going to change.’

  He gave a soft little sigh. ‘I wish you every happiness then,’ he said, catching hold of her hand and kissing it. ‘You both deserve it.’

  At the registrar’s words I now pronounce you man and wife Dulcie had expected that she would experience a rush of excitement and feel completely different. She didn’t, all she felt was a sense of relief that she could soon have a cold drink and maybe slip out of her shoes which were killing her. Of course it was wonderful to be Mrs Rawlings at last, and have a gold ring on her finger to prove it, but she doubted the wisdom of coming to Kalgoorlie to get married, just because it was considered fashionable. It might be fun to be in a bustling, bigger town with shops, dozens of pubs and hotels in the winter, but she didn’t think it was such a good idea in January when the temperature was close to 100 degrees. And if they’d married in Esperance many of thei
r neighbours could have come. Two hundred miles deterred all but the closest friends.

  ‘You may kiss the bride,’ the registrar said. As Ross leaned closer to kiss her lightly on the lips, John made a kind of whooping noise behind them and everyone burst into laughter.

  Dulcie turned and smiled. John looked very handsome in a white shirt and grey trousers, shoes polished like mirrors and with an ear-to-ear grin. Bob looked hot and uncomfortable in a suit and tie, he had borrowed the suit for the occasion, having little call for smart clothes, and it was a little too big, emphasizing his slight frame. Bruce looked distinguished in a cream linen jacket, a red carnation in his button-hole. But it was May who stole the show in a pink lace two-piece with matching picture hat. On the way to the town hall several people stopped her and wished her luck, clearly thinking she was the bride.

  Ross slipped his arm around Dulcie’s shoulder. ‘Well, Mrs Rawlings,’ he said. ‘I think we have to sign the register before we can leave.’

  Dulcie turned back to the desk with her new husband and watched him as he leaned forward to sign the book. He had a new grey suit, a red carnation and a rather severe new hair-cut. She wished he’d left it wild and curly, there was a very obvious band of white skin across his forehead and along the back of his neck showing the length it had been until two days ago.

  She leaned over to sign her name too, forgetting for a brief second she had to use the new one, but she quickly changed the ‘T’ into an ‘R’, and the registrar winked at her.

  Outside the town hall they paused for photographs. The landlady at the Old Australia Hotel had organized this for them, along with a wedding breakfast in the dining-room. Bruce had booked and paid for a room for three nights. May had used it last night as she’d come by train from Perth, Dulcie had gone there today to freshen up and change into her wedding finery after the drive up from Esperance with the men, and for the next two nights it would be the honeymoon room, as May was going back to Esperance tonight with the men.