Everything is Everything Book 2

  Vanessa carried her son up the walk to her grandmother’s house while Crash strained to get down to the ground so that he could play with the snow. Mr. Paolini must have come by to clear grandma’s walkway the way he had done each year since they had moved into the house.

  She found herself missing the middle-aged man that lived next door. He was married and had grandkids and yet he still managed to take care of his, as well as grandma’s lawn in the summer and her walkways in the winter. In exchange grandma would bake them pies and cookies.

  “No, Crash,” she said when he kicked to get down. She rang the bell juggling her toddler, purse and diaper bag. When the door opened it almost seemed as if the world had come to a standstill.

  Her grandmother’s face was frozen in surprise and Vanessa realized that she had been watching them from the front window.

  “Hi grandma,” Vanessa said after a prolonged silence.

  The sound of her granddaughter’s voice shook her out of her surprise and she opened the door wider to allow them inside.

  “Come in out of the cold.” Bertha Mae looked from Crash to Vanessa as they entered the house and then a smile spread across her face.

  “Who is this little boy?” Bertha Mae said, her eyes not moving from Crash. She appeared to absorb every inch of him.

  Vanessa realized that she was lightly gnawing her lip. “Grandma, this is my son Matthew. But I call him Crash.”

  Vanessa’s grandmother reached out to touch her great grandson’s mittened hand and Crash pulled back and turned to his mother, hugging her shyly.

  “Crash,” Vanessa said, “this is my grandmama.”

  “My ma ma ma,” he repeated.

  Bertha Mae chuckled and Vanessa saw that her eyes twinkled in delight—only the twinkling was merriment mixed with unshed tears.

  “Do you want to hold him?” Vanessa asked in a voice thick with emotion.

  Bertha Mae nodded enthusiastically, not trusting herself not to begin crying. Vanessa passed Crash over to the older woman and he went willingly enough as long as he was able to keep his mother in his sights.

  Bertha Mae stroked his hair, a look of awe on her face. She looked at Vanessa again. “He looks like you.”

  Vanessa’s brow rose. “Do you think so?”

  Bertha Mae nodded and then suddenly she reached out with her spare arm and gave her granddaughter a hug.

  Vanessa clutched her grandmother, clinging to her with a shaky sob. They stood that way for a long time until the littlest one squealed to be released. The women separated with laughter that suddenly broke the tension.

  “What in the world are we doing standing here?” Bertha Mae stated while heading up the stairs into the house.

  Vanessa followed them upstairs, enjoying the aroma of cooking food and feeling as if she had never left home.

  “It smells good in here, grandma.”

  II

  “Isn’t that thing on his feet uncomfortable?” Bertha Mae asked as they sat at the dining room table watching as Crash walked around the living room exploring everything in his reach.

  “No,” Vanessa assured her. “It doesn’t hurt him.”

  Her grandmother’s expression appeared doubtful. “When I was young babies wore hard white shoes to keep their feet straight. When they got older they wore saddle shoes.” She watched with concern. “How long does he have to wear them?”

  Vanessa shook her head. That was the million dollar question. “Until his feet stays straight. If this doesn’t work he could end up getting surgery. Fortunately his condition isn’t as bad as it could be.”

  The ultra sound hadn’t even identified a problem. She hoped that by his second birthday he would just be able to rely on physical therapy.

  Bertha Mae’s attention returned to her granddaughter. “I have to admit that I’ve wondered what happened with your aunt when you left the house. I have a feeling that you didn’t just let it go.”

  Vanessa’s smile turned grim.

  “I went over there right after I left here and I stormed into her apartment and I told her what I knew.”

  Vanessa’s grandmother leaned forward, her eyes wide with a mixture of surprise and pride.

  “You didn’t!”

  “Yes I did.” Vanessa’s face felt hot as she described the next. “I even threw a telephone at her.”

  Bertha Mae covered her mouth and her body began to shake as she suppressed her laughter. “Oh my!”

  “It hit her in the head …”

  Grandma laughed so hard that tears streamed from her eyes. “Well, I can’t say that she didn’t deserve it.”

  “Grandma!” Vanessa wasn’t sure if she wanted to smile or cover her face at the memory.

  “Well it’s true!”

  “Well,” Vanessa shrugged. “That’s the last I’ve seen of her.” She sighed. “I haven’t talked to my cousin Jalissa since then—except that she called to tell me that she gave birth.”

  Vanessa had often wondered about Jalissa and her son. Their children would be nearly the same age. She had regrets and the loss of her friendship with Jalissa was a big one.

  Grandma reached out and took her hand, squeezing it lightly.

  “I’m sorry. I know your cousin wasn’t just another family member. I know she represented a link to your past. It must have been hard to lose that.”

  Vanessa looked at her grandmother in surprise at how perceptive she was. When Vanessa was younger she had thought her grandmother had all the answers to all the world’s questions.

  And then she had become a teen and all she wanted was to live her own life. And while Vanessa still wanted that, she now recognized that her grandmother was the queen of the ‘Hard Knocks Life’.

  She’d lost her husband to another woman, her daughter to rape and murder and then her granddaughter--who just ran off without a word.

  Vanessa squeezed her grandmother’s hand.

  “I’m sorry grandma. I’m sorry for how everything went wrong with us. I’m sorry for not calling you—even if I was mad, it doesn’t matter, you’re my grandmother and I love you.”

  Bertha Mae wiped the tears from her eyes. “I’ve had a long time to look at myself. And you know what I see? I see a woman that doesn’t realize that she can’t dictate how others live their lives. I have a history of pushing people away from me. First it was your grandfather. I played a part in why he turned to another woman—though I won’t take all the blame,” she said in a firm voice that reminded Vanessa that her grandmother could be both soft and hard—just like her mother—just like her.

  “But I’m not always the easiest woman to get along with,” she continued. “And what I did to your mother, I ended up doing to you. So it’s me that is sorry, baby girl. I am never going to try to run another person’s life.”

  The two women hugged.

  “I love you too, baby girl.” Bertha Mae whispered.

  Grandma made hot chocolate and the two got caught up. Vanessa learned that in her absence Grandma had been busy. She began taking classes in flower arrangement, pottery making and had joined a quilting club.

  Vanessa didn’t ever remember her grandmother being very social. Other than church she generally kept to herself. It seemed that after more than two decades she was finally finding a way to enjoy life.

  “Now what have you been doing with yourself?” Grandma asked. “Have you been okay up in New York?”

  Vanessa nodded and smiled. “I’m doing good grandma. Remember my friend Charisma?”

  “Of course I do. That girl was more of a performer than you.”

  “Well she and I share an apartment. We’ve both found work acting and singing. Charisma has been more successful. I’ve been too busy being a mother.” She looked over at a makeshift pallet of quilts and blankets on the floor where Crash was napping.

  Bertha Mae’s face grew confused.

  “You and Charisma share a place? So you’re not with the baby’s father any longer?”

  “Scotty?” Vanessa
tilted her head at the odd question. “Well he’s in prison so …”

  “No. I thought he was out of prison. I was following his case but they don’t put that much in the paper-“

  “Wait, what did you say, grandma?” Her grandmother wasn’t making sense.

  “That young man that you were engaged to; I read in the news paper that he was released from prison. Mind you, I might have never known since it was just a small article. But I remembered his name from the news; Scott Tremont.”

  Vanessa was breathing so hard that she very nearly began to hyperventilate. She rose on shaky legs.

  “There’s got to be a mistake …” she whispered.

  “Vanessa, baby, I don’t think I’m mistaken.” Her grandmother reached out and took her hand. “Baby, you didn’t know?”

  Vanessa shook her head in denial.

  “Oh my lord …” Bertha Mae said softly. “Baby, this happened a year ago. That man’s been out of prison for a year-“

  Vanessa ran from the room to the bathroom where her dry heaves turned into full out vomiting. Her body felt hot and cold as sweat began to make its way down her body, causing her skin to feel clammy against her clothes.

  She felt her grandmother’s hands stroking her hair. Vanessa couldn’t move as she contemplated her grandmother’s words.

  “Vanessa,” she said gently. “It’s time for us to have some real talk. I don’t want to say anything to upset you. Lord knows that I don’t want to lose you again.”

  Vanessa looked at her grandmother with a pained expression. What was she talking about? Didn’t she understand that she’d just been told something devastating? What else could be on her mind except for Scotty?

  Bertha Mae continued to talk. “For the last two years I thought I had driven you away to New York. But there is something more going on here. You said you were in love with that young man but you evidently stopped talking to him as well. You had no idea that he’s been out of prison. Baby girl what happened? What made you leave? What made you refuse to even talk to any of us?”

  “Oh grandma,” she said in a tired whisper. “Things began to happen fast when Scotty was sentenced to prison. I found out that I was pregnant. After I moved to New York Crash came too soon and he needed special care. I didn’t set out to never communicate with anyone. But before I knew it, it was a month, than a year. And now here we are.”

  Vanessa sniffed and weakly flushed the toilet. “But Scotty…” She shook her head not knowing where to begin and then she rose to her feet and turned on the faucet so that she could splash her face.

  Grandma waited patiently and then Vanessa turned to her, sniffing back her emotions.

  “Scotty broke it off with me.” Saying the words still stung. “He said he didn’t want me hanging on to a man that might be spending ten or more years in prison.”

  “Oh.” Her grandmother sighed.

  “I left when I told him about the baby and he just told me to leave. I can’t say what’s in Scotty’s mind.” Vanessa’s voice broke as she spoke but she fought to keep the tears from filling her eyes. “But I never thought that he would push me and our baby away. I thought that he’d have to be a part of our lives even if it meant that it happened from prison.”

  Her grandmother reached out to stroke the stray strands of her that had fallen from her ponytail.

  “Vanessa you did what you thought was right and I guess he did as well. But things are different now. You need to contact this man and see where things stand now. And based on your reaction I’m thinking that there is still some feelings there.”

  Vanessa grabbed tissue and wiped her nose. “I want to talk to him.”

  But how?

  Vanessa forced herself to stay until after dinner, but she was anxious to return to Charisma’s parents house so that she could tell her best friend what she’d discovered.

  It took all of Vanessa’s patience to stop herself from grabbing Crash and darting out the door. There were moments throughout the evening that she thought she’d black out in anxiety. Vanessa tried to eat the dinner that her grandma had worked so hard to prepare, but she was too distracted, wracking her brain for anyone that she knew who could tell her how to find Scotty.

  She had only been to Miss Gloria’s apartment a few times once they had been forced to give up the house. There was no way that she would be able to find that house again.

  Vanessa knew that Phonso used to hang out in Winton Terrace and Garden Hilltop. She wondered if he still lived there. The last place he lived was with a girlfriend. But knowing Phonso he probably had already broken it off with ten women since then and could be living anywhere.

  A guy named Garry was Scotty’s best friend, but she didn’t know anything about where he lived.

  And then she remembered something. She had been to visit Scotty’s mom in an assisted living facility in Avondale!

  “Your cab should be here shortly.” Grandma said.

  Vanessa blinked in confusion.

  “What?”

  “You’ve been in deep thought for the last hour. You didn’t even know that I had called you a cab and you’ve only been picking over your dinner-“

  She felt her face warm. “Grandma, I’m so sorry-“

  “No. I wouldn’t expect anything less.” She gazed down at Crash who had awakened from his nap and was now sitting on her lap and using his hands to put small bites of food into his mouth. He’d gotten comfortable with his great ‘my mama’ and proved it when he tried to feeding her some of his vegetables.

  “I just want to know when I’ll get to see this little guy again.”

  Vanessa picked up her purse and found a pen and paper. She swiftly jotted something on it and then handed it to her grandmother.

  “This is my phone number and address in New York and the phone number where I’m staying in Cincinnati.”

  “You know …” her grandmother sighed. “You can stay here. You’re always welcomed here; you and Crash.”

  Vanessa hugged her grandmother. “Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.”

  Grandma cradled her face in hands that felt rough and hardened by a long, life.

  “I wish I would have given you that sixty thousand dollars-“

  Vanessa shook her head. “I learned a lot in these two years—things I would not have learned If I’d had it.”

  “It’s yours, baby girl. I’ll transfer it immediately.”

  Vanessa stared into her grandmother’s eyes. “That money has been like … like an impossible fantasy. It doesn’t even feel real to me anymore. That’s not my money it’s yours. If you give me some of it I’d accept it, but I won’t accept the entire thing.”

  Bertha Mae studied her face. “I understand. I want to make sure that you and my great grandbaby are taken care of. You have done a wonderful job and I’m very proud of you. But I want to help you.”

  They heard the blowing from the horn of the cab and Vanessa hugged her again. “We’ll talk about it later, okay grandma? Right now I need to figure out how I can find Scotty. I’ll call you. I promise.”

  When Vanessa returned to Charisma’s house she was sprinting dangerously on ice while balancing her child, diaper bag and purse. She nearly shouted at Charisma the second her friend answered the front door. Vanessa rushed into the house, the words rushing from her lips. Not understanding the rapidly streaming words flowing from her best friend’s mouth Charisma tilted her head from side to side.

  “Vanessa—what?”

  Vanessa took a deep breath. She was trembling. “My grandmother told me that my baby’s father is out of prison!”

  Mama Rose suddenly appeared before them and she slipped Crash from Vanessa’s arms and left them to talk.

  “Well, damn.” Charisma said while scratching her head. “How is that possible? He got a minimum of fifteen years. Parole doesn’t work that fast, does it?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t even know if it’s true!” Vanessa began to pace, still wearing her winter coat, gloves and sc
arf. “But my grandmother seems awfully convinced. Look, I know where Scotty’s mother lives. She’s in an assisted living facility. Charisma can you drive me there?”

  “Yeah, of course. I wouldn’t miss this for the world!” Charisma dashed to get her coat and purse while Vanessa asked Mama Rose if it was okay to leave Crash with her for a few hours. Charisma’s mother was more than happy to watch him and the two girls were quickly in the car and driving towards Avondale.

  Vanessa remembered that the facility was on Reading Rd but it was so small that they passed it the first time.

  After finally locating the small facility, the girls got out of the car quickly. It was after six and Vanessa was unsure if there were visiting hours that they might have already missed. If that was the case Vanessa was all prepared to beg on her life for a quick, life or death visit with Mrs. Tremont.

  However begging would not help because the receptionist informed her that Tracy Tremont had passed away over a year ago.

  Chapter Eight

  Vanessa literally broke down in tears. Misunderstanding the young woman’s tears the receptionist offered her the box of tissues from her desk and spoke to her in soft comforting tones.

  Charisma gave the nurse a hopeful look. “We’re trying to get in touch with the family. You don’t happen to know how we can do that, do you?”

  The receptionist suddenly looked uncomfortable. “Well, I can’t give out patient information.”

  Vanessa’s shook her head emphatically. “We wouldn’t want you to break the rules. But can you please just call someone? You wouldn’t have to give me the phone number if you can just tell them that Vanessa White is here looking for …”

  Vanessa hesitated but Charisma shot in.

  “Her baby’s daddy!”

  “Oh …” the receptionist said. Vanessa shot Charisma a look, hoping that she hadn’t ruined it.

  “Let me see what I can do.” The woman behind the desk went to a file cabinet and a moment later returned with a file.

  “I have a phone number for Scott Tremont.”