Into the Deep

  “I agree he’s hot but I don’t do bad boys anymore.” I ignored the familiar ache in my chest and locked my jaw in an effort to appear unaffected. “And I didn’t think you did bad boys ever?”

  “I’m seriously making an exception for Beck.” Claudia’s eyes fluttered closed on another moan. “Beck. Even his freaking name is hot.”

  “Well, my mother would hate him. He said ‘fuck’ twice within a matter of seconds.”

  “I’d fuck him twice in a matter of seconds.”

  Shocked laughter escaped my lips.

  “I’m not kidding.”

  And when I looked at her face, I realized she wasn’t. I instantly sobered. “Please do not do anything you’ll regret.”

  She waved off my concern. “I’m not stupid. If he wants in my pants, he has to earn it.” She rubbed her hands together gleefully. “And I am going to have so much fun making him earn it.”

  I didn’t particularly enjoy the idea of attending a party where I’d be left to socialize alone as my best friend attempted to wrap Beck around her finger. But … she was Claudia and I loved her and I’d never seen her so instantly excited over a guy before. I’d suck it up for her. “Then I guess we’re really going to that party tonight. Maybe we should invite our roomies?”

  “What are their names again?”

  I searched my brain, knowing the answers were in there somewhere. “Maggie, Gemma, and Lisa. Right?”

  “I thought it was Maggie, Jemima and Lauren.”

  “Jemima? I would remember if her name was Jemima.”

  “We are awful roommates.”

  “We are. I’m going to organize some kind of get-together for us all.”

  Her eyes glittered. “Ooh, can we invite Beck?”

  Crap. She was definitely a goner.

  “Maybe I should’ve worn a dress,” Claudia muttered for the fiftieth time as we walked up stairwell one to apartment three. We could hear the music throbbing from within and we’d already passed a couple of drunken freshman out in the courtyard.

  I sighed, squeezing back against the wall to let an annoyed-looking guy hurry down the stairs and outside. “I told you a dress would be too much. This is just like any other student party, Claud, not a formal.”

  As soon as we hit floor one, she knew I was right. The door to apartment three was thrown open and there were students milling around outside drinking out of red plastic cups. A couple of girls smiled at us and the guys gave us “the nod” as we passed to wander inside. Everyone was dressed casual and I was glad I’d talked Claud into jeans and a tank top.

  “This place is much bigger than ours,” I commented as we gazed around the crowded common room and kitchen.

  “There are more rooms,” Claudia explained, pointing down the hall to our left. I noticed at the end it turned a corner. I counted five doors on the one side, and guessed Claud was right and that hidden corridor housed more.

  “You came.” Beck appeared like magic in front of us, holding out two beers. “Nice to see you again, ladies.”

  Looking much the same as he had that afternoon—except perhaps hotter—Beck’s presence seemed to paralyze us for a second as neither of us said a word.

  He grinned cockily as if he knew what kind of reaction he elicited in the opposite sex and shook the beers at us. “You want?”

  I reached for one of the bottles. “Thanks. Good showing.” I gestured to the busy party.

  “I told you… put ‘free booze’ on a poster and voila.” He smiled at Claudia as she finally came out of her stupor to take the beer. His eyes flickered back to me and my chest. “Nice shirt.”

  My vintage Pearl Jam T-shirt, faded, worn, a little snug, but as soon as I saw it in the thrift store, I had to have it. Thankfully, the fact that it was snug just made it hot. It wasn’t the first time a guy had complimented me on it and I still couldn’t decide if it was because it was vintage Pearl Jam or if it was because it was tight across my breasts.

  Probably a little of the first and a lot of the second.

  “Thanks,” I muttered and “accidentally” hit my elbow off Claudia’s arm as I looked around the room.

  She took my hint.

  “So, Beck,” she stepped closer to him, “you here on the study abroad program for the semester or the year like us?”

  “The year,” I heard him say as I pretended to be more interested in the room at large than in the conversation between him and my best friend. “I came from Northwestern. What about you guys?”

  “Not that far from you, actually. Purdue.”

  “I think a couple of the guys who live here are from there. You know them? Alan and Joey? We met them first night here.”

  I turned back now, taking another swig of my beer and shaking my head as Claudia answered, “Nope. Do you live here too?”

  “Nah, I’m along the street at College Wynd with my buddy Jake.”

  I instantly flinched at the name, my heart kicking up speed as it always did when I heard it. Thankfully, neither of the two of them noticed and as they chatted, I breathed slowly in and out, forcing myself to relax. It had been three and a half years and just the thought of him tightened my chest.

  When I came back to myself, I noticed Claudia shooting me surreptitious “get lost” looks. I pointed the neck of my beer bottle behind them. “I’m going to go … see if I recognize anyone.”

  I knew by the twitch of Beck’s lips that neither Claudia nor I had been subtle, but I wasn’t the one trying to impress him. I wandered through the throng, heading into the center of the room where a large table had been turned into a beer pong court, a tournament already underway. Mind-numbingly bored at the thought of it, I turned to head toward the kitchen where people were leaning on counters and chatting to one another. I squeezed past a short guy whose face was practically in my boobs.

  “Nice shirt.” He grinned up at me.

  What did I tell you? It was a magic shirt. I muttered a thank-you and headed toward the kitchen.

  “Charley!”

  I blinked at the sound of my name being shrieked across the room and my eyes widened as I saw my roommate Maggie waving excitedly to me from the kitchen. Surprised by her exuberant reaction to my presence, I threw her a somewhat bewildered smile and headed over.

  “Hey, Maggie.”

  “You came, you wonderful girl, you. Come give me some love!” She threw her arms around me and I muffled an oof against her thick, red hair as we collided. She was pretty drunk and slurring a little, but that didn’t stop her English accent from being awesome. She shoved me forcefully back. “Is Claudia here too?”

  “Yeah, she’s talking to some guy we met this afternoon.”

  Maggie nodded, her pretty eyes bloodshot. “I lost Gemma and Laura. I don’t know where they went but I met these guys.” She turned to a medium-built guy with curly blond hair and baby blue eyes. With him were a tall, skinny guy with cool rimless glasses, tattooed arms, and a lip ring, and a short, curvy girl with bright purple hair. “This is Matt, Lowe, and Rowena.”

  I lifted my beer in greeting. “Hey, I’m Charley.”

  Lowe, the tall, skinny guy, raised his beer and I noted his fingernails were covered in chipped black nail polish. “Cool shirt.”

  “You’re American too?”

  “From Northwestern.”

  “Purdue.”

  His gaze suddenly sharpened with deeper interest. As his eyes traveled up and down my body, I noticed rather belatedly that he wasn’t skinny. He was lean, but muscular … and he was cute. Really cute. “A Boilermaker. We’re practically neighbors.” Very, very cute.

  He was also another bad-boy Beck. In fact, I’d bet they were friends. “If your neighbor has to travel a few hours to get to your house for Bundt cake, then sure, we’re neighbors.”

  Lowe smiled as Matt and Rowena chuckled.

  Maggie just looked confused. In an effort to change the subject, she asked, “Did you see the poster, then, for the party?”

  “Yeah. And Beck
invited us.”

  Lowe scowled. “You met Beck?”

  I looked back over my shoulder through the crowds and pointed to him. He and Claudia were still speaking but she seemed to be frowning at whatever he was saying. “He’s talking to my friend Claudia.”

  My focus drifted as I moved to turn back to the group and I caught a profile in the crowd that made the blood rush in my ears. I froze, my eyes taking in the familiar jawline and straight Roman nose. Familiar lips kissed an unfamiliar forehead.

  It couldn’t be him.

  My heart sped up as I watched the profile turn. A more than familiar beautiful smile hit full force and winded me.

  For what felt like forever, I drank in the sight of Jacob Caplin—the first boy I’d ever loved.

  I hadn’t seen him in three and a half years.

  And there he was, tall and built, looking more clean-cut than he used to in a long-sleeved thermal and black jeans. His dark hair was shorter than he used to wear it but it suited his handsome, angular face. I didn’t even want to look into his dark eyes because I knew it would only usher me into an even bigger world of pain than I already found myself in. That pain intensified as I followed the arm he had wrapped around a dark-haired girl buried into his side, her hand resting on his chest. I was tall at five eight; she was taller. Curvier. Much, much prettier. With her long, dark hair and olive skin, she looked perfect against him.

  I hated her.

  I hated him.

  Three and a half years and it hadn’t stopped hurting.

  “Charley! Hullo, Charley!” Maggie shrieked drunkenly and I watched as my name hit Jake’s ears. I noted the way he tensed, my fingers trembling around my beer bottle.

  His eyes shot up from his group and tore through the crowd across the room. His chest jerked as his gaze collided with mine and his arm fell away from the girl cuddled into him. His lips parted as shock slackened his handsome features and I watched him mouth my name.

  Everyone disappeared around me as we locked eyes for the first time in years. The music dulled to a throb, the conversation to a muffled buzz, and all I could hear was my heartbeat. I wanted to get out of there. I wanted to get as far from him as possible, but as he pushed past his questioning friends and headed toward me, I found myself glued to the spot, my cheeks flushing with emotion as he came to a stop before me.

  “Jake,” Lowe uttered a warm greeting.

  Jake nodded his chin at him in a familiar way that caused another streak of pain to score across my chest. “Lowe.” His eyes quickly moved from his friend to me and the pain burst into a burning flame. I’d loved Jake’s eyes. A lush dark brown, they were so intelligent and warm, so deep, I thought I would happily spend the rest of my life getting lost in them.

  I was young.

  I was an idiot.

  “Charley,” he breathed in his low, rich voice that could still send a delicious and very unwanted shiver down my spine. “I can’t believe it’s you.” He ran a shaky hand through his hair, waiting for me to say something. Anything.

  I wanted to be cool. Unaffected. Indifferent.

  Unfortunately, I was not any of those things. Instead I handed my beer to a confused Maggie and brushed past him without saying a word.

  He still wore the same cologne, cologne I’d bought him. Cologne that smelled so great on him, I’d spent a good portion of our time together nuzzling my nose into his neck.

  That memory hurt too.

  Hurrying down the hall, I saw Claudia talking to some guy I hadn’t met. I didn’t have time to wonder what had happened to Beck because I heard Jake yell my name. Claudia looked up at the sound of it and her eyes widened when she saw my face.

  “I’m leaving,” I told her tightly as I passed. She immediately fell into step behind me.

  I raced down the stairs and across the courtyard, throwing myself into our stairwell and shutting it quickly behind Claud.

  “What the hell is going on?” Her eyes were bright with concern as I pushed past her and ran up the stairs.

  It wasn’t until we were in my bedroom with the door locked that I whirled around to face her, my whole body shaking as the pain I’d been trying to hold in exploded out of me. Claudia caught me, holding me tight and murmuring soothing words in my ear as I sobbed an explanation into her hair.

  “We’re so going to get in trouble for this,” I muttered, staring around at the gathering of my class, their faces flickering in and out of the light cast by the bonfire I knew I’d have to keep a careful eye on.

  I’d come home from spending the summer with my cousins in Florida to discover my friends Lacey and Rose had colluded with my ex-boyfriend Alex. They’d put together a welcome home party for me in the woods at the edge of Alex’s parents’ property on the outskirts of town. A huge old gazebo sat surrounded by crumbling concrete seats overwhelmed with weeds. Right now the gazebo was littered with underage drinkers, beer cans, firewood, and a music dock.

  Lacey shoved me playfully. “Who cares? Let’s just enjoy it. I doubt they’ll bust us. Tomorrow’s Labor Day—they’re too preoccupied with the festival to care what we’re up to.” She handed me a beer.

  “You didn’t need to do this.”

  Rose nodded. “I suggested we throw a party before going back to school. It was Alex who suggested we make it your party.”

  Lacey snorted. “Could he be more obvious?”

  I followed her gaze to where Alex was standing with a sophomore girl, but he didn’t appear to be listening to her as he watched our little group. “He knows we’re not going there again. We dated for three months before summer and it didn’t work out.”

  “Yeah for you.” Rose sighed sadly. “He’s still hung up on you. And he’s so cute, Charley. And he plays football. That’s hot.”

  “Alex is nice and all, but he’s not for me.”

  Alex was perfectly nice, in fact, but during the three months we dated, I kept waiting for that something to hit me. When we kissed, it was just … nice. And since kissing was nice but nothing more, I didn’t really want to do anything else with him, which made me seem frigid. Anyway, we were too different. He was all about football and keeping up appearances for his family. That was important for him, considering his mom was the mayor.

  To be honest, I didn’t know what Alex saw in me. I’m sure his mother thought the same thing. My sister Andrea would’ve been perfect for him if they’d been the same age. She was prim and proper and immaculate from head to toe. I, on the other hand, always had my nose in some project, I was obsessed with music, I dressed where my mood took me, and I said it like it was.

  The only thing Mayor Roster had ever found appropriate about me was my sister. I think it was the only thing that gave her hope—that maybe one day I’d suddenly transform into a mini version of Andie.

  “Forget Alex.” Lacey turned to me, her eyes bright in the firelight. “I’ve decided Jake Caplin is perfect for you.”

  “Ah, the mysterious Jake,” I chuckled.

  All summer I’d been treated to excited phone calls from my friends. First they relayed the news that a new family had moved to Lanton. This was news because Mr. Caplin was opening a law office that had thrown Brackett & Sons, the already existing law office, into a tizzy. It was also news because the Caplins had two boys—Jacob, a junior, and Lukas, a freshman. Both, apparently, seriously cute.

  They’d also made quite a name for themselves over the summer. Or at least Jake had. He’d quickly found friends, seemingly able to move from group to group according to Lacey. He hung out with the musicians, the nerds, and the stoners, but also had a lot of fun with the jocks. And, more importantly, Lacey said, he’d already slept with a bunch of junior and senior girls. Rumor had it he’d also slept with Stacy Sullivan, a hot senior who worked at Hub’s, a popular diner on Main Street. This was news because Stacy only dated guys in college. Having sex with Stacy made Jake a bit of a legend among our classmates.

  But all of it just made me question why the hell Lacey would want m
e to hook up with him.

  “Oh my God, he’s here.” Lacey said breathlessly as if Batman had just walked into the party.

  I twisted my head to follow her gaze and found myself staring past the fire and into the dark eyes of Jake Caplin.

  I felt his look seize hold of me and I swear to God, my breath hitched in my throat.

  He was beautiful.

  I didn’t know how to describe him any other way. And as he moved through the crowd, eyes on me, my friends whispering in disbelief that he was coming over, I decided then that I didn’t care about rumor. There was something about the way his tall, built body moved—confident and strong but also somehow wild and untamed. I watched his mouth curl up at the corners in a half-smile and I read a million things in his expression. A million stories, a million jokes, a million dreams …

  Deep down, I somehow knew that Jake Caplin would never, ever bore me. It sounded crazy—I know it did because we’d never even exchanged a word, but I just knew.

  “So, you’re the mysterious girl who’s been gone all summer.” He stopped right in front of me, casual, beer in hand. I tipped my head back to meet his gaze, my body tingling. It suddenly occurred to me that someone as beautiful as Jake must have girls throwing themselves all over him all the time. I read it in his cocky confidence. I read it in the ease with which he spoke to me, a complete stranger, when there were guys I’d known my whole life who stuttered when they tried to flirt.

  “And you’re the mysterious newbie,” I answered with a shrug.

  He smiled at my response and held out a hand. “Jake.”

  Reaching out tentatively, I let him take my hand, ignoring the curl of tension in my lower belly as our skin touched. “Charley.”

  “I know. You’re famous. Supergirl.” He grinned wickedly and I shot my friends a dirty look. I couldn’t believe they’d told him that story.

  No, in fact, I could believe it.

  Two years ago I’d gone into town with Lacey and Rose. We were coming out of Hub’s when we heard my sister Andie shouting. It was so unlike her that we stopped to spectate. Andie was a senior at the time and she and her long-term boyfriend Pete had been having problems. That day those problems had escalated so much that my sister—who was the epitome of public decorum—started to shout at him in the town square. He’d shouted back as she walked away, and Andie had stupidly stopped in the middle of the street to turn and shout a response.