All That I Am (Men of Monroe Book 1)

  “I don’t know what to say,” she whispered, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

  “After the bullshit O’Leary pulled tonight, and seeing you dancing again at Hamilton’s with your girl, I’m making it my priority to get you smiling again like you did back then, and I sure as fuck want to hear that laugh again.”

  Her eyes flashed with disbelief. “You really saw me at Hamilton’s?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And I took your breath away?”

  “You still do.”

  Her face went soft, and whether she realized or not, she moved closer to me on the couch. “And now you’re making it a priority to get me smiling and laughing again.”

  “I’m making you my priority. And sweetheart, seeing you smile and laugh again like you did before your mom left will be an added bonus.”

  16

  SASHA

  I stared at him.

  I couldn’t believe what he’d just revealed to me. As I tried to find my words, I found myself coming up blank. How could someone I barely knew intoxicate me like he did?

  I opened my mouth, desperate for something—anything—to come out to break the silence around us, but it was my phone that broke it. I jumped off the couch, and rushed over to where I’d left my purse on the dining table, and pulled out my phone and looked at the screen.

  “I’m sorry, it’s Crazy John. I need to answer this.”

  Concern filled me at the thought of him calling so late. Since Dad had died, the only family I had was Drew and Crazy John. He accepted the best and worst of me, he offered me advice even if I didn’t ask for it, and he had been the one to pick me up when I thought I couldn’t continue on after we lost Dad. I couldn’t imagine life without him and his crazy ways.

  Quickly, I answered, and didn’t even get the chance to say hello before he laid into me.

  “Why do you have my phone number?” Crazy John blasted in my ear. “And I’ve seen that little fuckin’ heart you’ve put beside my name, so that’s got to mean something. So, why am I finding out that shit went down with you a-fucking-gain from someone else instead of hearing it from you?”

  I walked back to the couch and sat down beside Ben, this time closer to him. “I didn’t want—”

  “Don’t say another fuckin’ word.”

  I shot Ben a wide-eyed look and waited.

  “You’ve got that heart beside my name cause I mean something to you. Well, Sassy, you mean a fuck of a lot to me. So next time you need someone or shit goes down, use your fuckin’ phone and call me. I do not want to hear about my girl getting herself into shit while I’m watching the late night news. That shit does not sit well with me. You understand me?”

  “Yes,” I whispered while my heart felt full.

  His voice dropped slightly. “Now, where are you?”

  “I’m at Ben’s.”

  At the sound of his name, he shot me a questioning look.

  “Your man friend?”

  Oh god, here we go. “My man friend?”

  Crazy John sighed. “Put the damn call on loud speaker.”

  I didn’t have the energy to go head-to-head with Crazy John, because I knew he’d win in the end since there was nothing I wouldn’t do for him. I mouthed, “I’m sorry” to Ben and pressed the speaker icon. “It’s on loud speaker.”

  “Right, Ben, you got a cock?”

  Oh my god!

  The amusement in Ben’s voice when he responded was not lost on me. “Yep.”

  “Well, then Sassy, he’s your man friend.”

  I dropped my head to the back of the couch as heat crept up my neck.

  “Now, Ben, are you taking care of my girl?”

  “Yep,” Ben said, his body shaking with silent laughter.

  I was glad he was enjoying this, while I felt like I was dying of embarrassment.

  “Okay. Try knocking some god damn sense into her while you are at it.”

  The disconnect tone sounded. I lifted my head from the couch and was greeted by his full smile.

  “I just, I can’t even, my man friend?”

  I couldn’t stop myself. I burst out laughing so hard that my stomach began to ache and my head throbbed. Crazy John once again lived up to his name. Thankfully, Ben didn’t seem to be too freaked out at the insinuation that he was my man friend.

  After I got control of my giggles, I brought my attention back to Ben. “He loves you,” he said, his voice rough. “He’d give his life for you.”

  “I’d give my life for him too. I’ve known him since I was a young girl, so he has witnessed all of my antics and he has stuck with me, and that means more to me than he’ll ever know.” I admitted softly, getting more personal than I usually allowed myself. “He is crazy, but he is my crazy. He’s my family.”

  Everything I said was true. Since I was five-years-old, Crazy John had been a constant in my life. The first time I met him would forever be one of the most memorable moments of my life. I was at my Hamilton’s coloring, and he stalked over and lifted me out of my seat, then he swung me around and told me I was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. I had no clue he was Dad’s best friend. He was a stranger to me, so I burst into tears, ran across the room, and hid behind Drew’s legs. He moved back to Monroe, and from that moment, he was in my life. He spent Christmas and Thanksgiving with us. He was there to support Dad after my mother left, and he was there to support Drew and I when Dad died. He would forever be my family.

  “Glad you have that, sweetheart,” he murmured, as he drew me closer to his body, and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “Gotta tell you, I’ve never been called a man friend before.”

  “So, my new man friend, I’ve got another question. “ I laughed. “What would you have done if you’d walked into the bar and seen me laughing like you wanted?”

  I knew I was flirting, because I knew what I wanted. I wanted his lips on mine again. I wanted the promise of another kiss to make me erase the thoughts creeping into my head. He could give me that. As the night got later, and the morning got closer, I knew time was running out. Tomorrow was a new day—a day where I would go back to my life, and he’d go back to his. But we still had tonight, right?

  “As soon as you turned eighteen, I would have asked you out. There’s no way I would’ve been able to keep my hands off you or my dick in my pants so I would’ve waited. A couple of years of blue balls would have totally been worth it.”

  I shifted against him, and looked up. If I moved just a couple of inches, my lips would be on his. “I wouldn’t have been able to keep my hands off you either. I wish I would have seen you back then.”

  “I’m thinking you would have been a bad influence on me.” He smirked, and stole one of the inches between us.

  I returned his smirk. “Oh, I know I would have.”

  I began to steal the final inch, needing to kiss him, and get all I could from him.

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he hissed as his phone began vibrating on the coffee table. He looked at the table. “Fuckin’ Hart.”

  “Answer it,” I said with a smile. “I’ll go and have a quick shower if that’s okay. Can I borrow a shirt to sleep in?”

  His eyes flashed with heat at the sound of me borrowing a shirt. “Yeah, come on, I’ll grab you one.”

  We both stood from the couch, and his hand took mine.

  “You better be calling to tell me you’ve won the fuckin’ lottery,” Ben said into the phone as we walked, hand in hand, down the hall.

  I was intrigued to see his house. We stopped in front of a closed door, and he let go of my hand and turned me to face him. His voice dropped as he spoke directly to me, and he dropped his phone to rest against his thigh. “Bathroom is across the hall, towels are in the cupboard. I’ll go grab a shirt and leave it on the sink. Come find me when you’re done.”

  I nodded then watched him walk down the hall and disappear into another room. I opened the door I was standing in front of and entered. Taking my time to look
around, it looked like a guest room. A large bed took up the majority of the room, and a lamp in the corner and one bedside table completed the look. I would have a field day in here. I ignored the thought of once again redesigning his house and reached around to the back of my skirt to unzip it. I slid the leather, knee-length skirt down over my hips and stepped out of it when it hit the floor. Cool air hit my bare legs, and I stood in the middle of Ben’s guest room wearing only my G-string and lace cami.

  “Fuck.”

  I jumped at the deep growl behind me and spun around. Ben stood in the doorway with a flannel shirt in his hand and a face that did not hide how he felt about walking in on me. I was completely exposed to him, and excitement sizzled within me as his penetrating gaze rampaged over every inch of my body. Under his gaze, I’d never felt sexier.

  “I knew once I had a taste, I’d want more. Gotta tell you, I’ve never wanted to sink into a pussy as much as I want to sink into yours, and now seeing you like this, I know I can’t wait any longer, and I hope like hell you’re feeling the same way.”

  His words set me on fire, and I had no clue how or if I could ever be extinguished. I’d wanted him since I first saw him. It wasn’t a secret. I’d never wanted to experience a man like I wanted to experience him. The promise of what he’d be like had taunted me since I had my hands on him in Missy’s. If the kiss we shared tonight was any indication, I knew I was in for an out-of-this-world experience.

  But could I come down from the high he promised?

  Would once be enough?

  Because once was all I had to give.

  He pushed off from the door and moved his penetrating force into the room, and I sucked in a desperate breath. After throwing the shirt onto the bed, he prowled toward me. With every step he took, the wetness between my legs grew, and my breathing became more labored. My brain had switched off long ago and my feet refused work, so if he wanted me, he’d have to come and get me. His eyes flashed with lust while I’m sure mine responded with need as we locked onto each other. The closer he got, the harder I throbbed. I’d never wanted a man before as much as I wanted him, and that thought alone exhilarated yet scared the absolute crap out of me. If he asked, I knew there was no chance I’d say no to him. He came into my space, and stopped his advance. Gently, his thumb swept up my throat, along my jaw, and then caressed my bottom lip. My eyes closed under the softness of his touch, and I swayed into him. I was putty in his hand.

  “So beautiful,” he hummed, his voice ricocheting through my electrified body, and turning me on even more. “You’ve got five seconds to say no; otherwise, you’re mine for the night.”

  My eyes shot open, and I stared at him.

  “Five.”

  I sucked in a breath.

  “Four.”

  I bit my lip.

  “Three.”

  I closed my eyes.

  “Two.”

  I leaned in closer to his body.

  “One.”

  My eyes shot open.

  As every second ticked by, he moved closer until his heart thumped against mine.

  “Time’s up, sweetheart. You’re mine.”

  17

  BEN

  “Kiss me.”

  Her demand sounded like music to my ears. Since I’d laid eyes on her in Missy’s, I had wanted to sink deep inside her and ravish, taste and memorize every inch of her delectable body so she’d live in my memories forever. But I had reasons to resist. But now, having her stand in front of me, begging me with not just her words but her intoxicating eyes, I knew I would deal with whatever consequence I may face because she was totally worth it.

  My mouth slammed onto hers and I swallowed her gasp as it began tearing through the room. Taking the moment offered by her moans, my tongue slipped into her mouth and I devoured everything she gave, and searched for everything she held back. Circling my arms around her waist, I lifted her off her feet, and her legs wrapped around me. She rocked against me, and we devoured each other’s mouths as I walked us down the hall toward my bedroom. With every step I took, her pussy ground on my now throbbing cock, and my craving to fuck her intensified.

  This was the purest kind of ecstasy I’d ever encountered.

  When my knees hit the side of the bed, I reluctantly broke our kiss. Our heated gaze collided, and when she licked her lips, and pulled on the edge of my shirt, my hunger for her skyrocketed.

  After lowering her onto my bed, I hovered over her, and dwarfed her petite frame.

  “Are you wet for me, sweetheart?” My hoarse voice echoed loudly around the room. “Because I am rock-fucking-hard for you.”

  Sasha’s whimper was the only answer I needed. I took my time to admire every inch of her body, reveling in the view of having her in my bed.

  “Ben, please. I need you to touch me.”

  I’d never had a better invitation in my life.

  I moved slightly to the side so half my body shadowed hers. I moved my mouth to the side of her neck, and my teeth nipped at her sensitive flesh, as one of my hands traveled down her flat stomach. A low moan crawled up her throat when I slid my hand inside her panties and teased her soaked pussy, before sliding a finger inside her.

  I worked her body with one finger and then two, and the sound of her wetness and whimpers made me feel like I’d stepped into an erotic dream. I slowed down my movements, removed my hand out from her panties, and pulled my mouth from her neck. She looked up at me with flushed cheeks, and her lips had begun to swell from our brutal kiss. Fuck, I needed to be inside her.

  “I want to see you,” Sasha panted, her fingers heading toward the button of my shirt. “I want to feel your body on mine.”

  “Undress me then.”

  I rolled to my back, and waited for her move.

  She crawled over my body and straddled my hips, then leaned down and touched her mouth to mine. My hands moved to her hips, and my fingers pressed into her heated skin. I wasn’t going to last much longer, I needed to be inside her pussy, and claim her body.

  “I get to unwrap you like a present,” she whispered, as her fingers worked the buttons of my shirt, and sent searing heat through my body when her fingertips grazed my skin. “The sexiest kind of present.”

  Every button she popped open, I dug a little deeper into her exposed hips, and ground her against my cock. Her breathing became heavier, her eyes got more heated, and her face more flushed, and I swear to god she’d never looked more beautiful. She finished unbuttoning my shirt and I rose slightly to allow her to slide it off my shoulders. Her hands came over my chest, and with light fingertips she traced my abs while her eyes remained glued to mine.

  My patience ran out.

  I flipped her over onto her back and ripped at her clothes. I needed her naked. I needed her writhing with pleasure in my bed. I needed to be inside her. Her gasp echoed around us when I ripped the cami from her body and pulled down the tops of her black lace bra to expose her pink nipples. My lips wrapped around the peak of one nipple while one of my hands massaged her other breast, and my other hand moved down her body. As I sucked and grazed my teeth over her peak, she withered beneath me.

  “Oh god,” she moaned. “Yes, play with my nipples.”

  Her hand moved between us, travelling over my abs. I stopped its descent to my belt buckle and wrapped my fingers around her wrist. “Hands above your head,” I demanded, from around her nipple.

  She wriggled against my grip, fighting my hold. I ran my teeth along her nipple and she stopped moving immediately and let out a strangled moan. “Hands above your head, Sasha. Don’t make me say it a third time.”

  I tugged on her nipple, and her hands immediately rose above her head.

  “No touching until I say.”

  I moved my mouth from her nipple and kissed along her jaw until I captured her mouth. The moment she opened her mouth to welcome my tongue, I thrust two fingers deep inside her and welcomed her desperate scream. As I roughly kissed her, I fucked her soaked pussy with two fi
ngers and ran my thumb over her clit. Driven by lust, wild and desperate for relief, she didn’t move her hands from above her head.

  I pulled away from her mouth, and let my lips rest slightly on hers. “I’m going to eat your pussy, sweetheart. I’ve wanted to taste you since you put your hands on my in Missy’s and gave me that first glimpse of that sassy tongue of yours. Can I trust you not to move your hands?”

  “I’ll do anything,” she confessed, her words coming out as pants. “Just please do something.”

  Kissing and licking my way down her body, my fingers kept working between her legs as she wiggled beneath me. I kissed her hip bones before sliding her soaked G-string over her thighs to reveal her glistening pussy. So fucking beautiful.

  “I knew you were sexy as sin, but you are a fucking knockout, Sasha. I am going to enjoy every fucking minute of this. Open up for me.”

  Her knees dropped at my demand and a smirk hit my lips. I pinned her knees to the bed and kissed the inside of each thigh. Her breathing increased and her whimpers intensified into pants.

  She withered beneath me and her hips shot off from the bed when my mouth hit her. Fuck, she was sweeter than I could have ever imagined. Tugging her clit into my mouth, I sucked hard, before feasting on her like she was the world’s finest delicacy. I savored every swirl of my tongue, every drop of her wetness, and every moan she gifted me with. Without a doubt, one taste was never going to be enough. Her hips rose from the bed as I sucked her clit into my mouth, and I took the chance to slip my hands under her and haul her closer to my famished mouth. My tongue speared into her pussy. She cried out my name, and it sounded like my favorite kind of bliss.

  “I need to touch you,” she begged as she wiggled desperately against my tongue.

  “Come on my tongue,” I muttered against her pussy. “Give me everything, sweetheart.”

  That’s all she needed to hear. She came in a rush of moans and curses. My name falling from her lips had never sounded so good. Once her orgasm subsided, I knew mine was thundering to life and I needed to be in her. As quickly as I could, I undid my belt buckle, unzipped, and pushed down my jeans, and in one swift movement, I filled her completely, and it was the greatest fucking feeling in the world.