Beetle Juice

Red thawed somewhat. “Yes, of course.”

  “Meanwhile you can explain why there are no women in your village,” Vanja said, flashing him with her flexible décolletage. “Healthy men like you should have women flocking.”

  “It is not entirely by choice,” Red said, properly mesmerized by that décolletage. “The local colony is all female, and they don’t seem to understand about things like, well, mating. They pick up our emotions and are repelled. So to make it possible to approach the scarabs, we have to eschew any such relations. We can indulge in them only well away from the local preserve. Thus we have segregated villages, all male and all female.” He took a heavy breath. “It’s hell. Worse, we do not get along with our closest female neighbor, who guards the access to the scarab’s home turf. There have been unfortunate episodes.”

  Wetzel picked up on it. Stray women caught by the desperately sex-hungry men had been tied, bug-sprayed, and gang raped. The women had reciprocated in kind tying men to trees and making them service women for food or to avoid torture. Use it or lose it was literal. So they got sex, but not love. There were some “dates” where individual men and women made deals and met beyond the beetles’ range to indulge, but these were fraught with complications.

  “So I can’t go with you and make you deliriously happy for a few minutes,” Vanja said. “It would repel the bugs.”

  “That is true,” Red said, tearing his gaze away. “I will leave you to your considerations.” He departed.

  Tod turned immediately to Wetzel. “What did you get?”

  “He’s telling the truth. The local villages are strictly same-sex and they don’t like it but have to do it. When a man can’t stand it any longer, he departs and resumes normal heterosexual activity far away.”

  “Why do they stay even briefly?” Vanja asked.

  “They are very well paid in coins and goods,” Wetzel said. “And it is an honor to serve here.”

  “But if the beetle goes extinct, they will have no job,” Tod said.

  “So they have incentive, apart from being dedicated to the welfare of the beetle,” Wizard said.

  “They have incentive,” Wetzel agreed. “They truly want to save the scarab.”

  “Then it behooves us to facilitate their effort,” Wizard said. “The question is, how?”

  “I have a more immediate one,” Vanja said. “How can I make out with Wetzel, or Tod with Veee, here in the village?”

  They considered that, not pleased.

  “Do we have to honor the rules of the village?” Tod asked.

  “We should,” Wizard said. “Apart from the fact that we do want to be able to get close enough to the scarabs to be able to do them some good.”

  “I’ll go crazy,” Vanja said.

  Wizard smiled. “I understood that was your normal state.”

  “Ha. Ha. Ha. How do we really know the bugs can’t tolerate sex? That’s just the opinion of the villagers. Besides which, if the bugs are near extinction there may not be any around here close enough anyway.”

  Wetzel got up and went silently to Tod. “Something else,” he murmured in the man’s ear so that only he could hear. “They have something they call a radio planted here, but I don’t think it grows.”

  A radio bug! Tod thought immediately. A little machine, a device to listen to what is said, and send it to a receiver elsewhere in the village, so they know what we say.”

  “Also a silent alarm on the door,” Wetzel murmured.

  So they know if we try to leave. They don’t trust us at all.

  Wetzel returned to his place, knowing that Tod would handle the information as he saw fit. The others did not comment or give any sign, knowing Wetzel had picked up on something.

  Tod beckoned Veee. When she came to him, he sat her on his lap and kissed her ear, whispering. Her eyes widened and her mouth thinned. She was annoyed.

  After Veee, Tod whispered similarly to Vanja. She nodded, then went to whisper to Wizard, who seemed neither surprised nor annoyed. He might have scried the same information.

  Now they all knew to watch their words, at least while they were in this village. They also knew how the stricture against sex was enforced; they would be banished from the village if they ignored that prohibition. The telepathy was paying off again.

  “Let’s compromise,” Tod said. “No sex tonight. Tomorrow we will reconsider. We might be back on the trail by then.”

  The others nodded, reluctantly agreeing.

  When night fell, Tod quietly went to the door and inspected it closely. There’s the alarm trigger, he thought for Wetzel’s benefit. It’s a simple one. I am deactivating it.

  So they could leave privately if they had to. Meanwhile the others were searching the house. Veee found the bug, a small device with wires fastened under the table, not normally in view. That one they left alone, as there would be immediate suspicion if it stopped sending.

  They used the five beds, separately. Wetzel had, in the brief time he had been with the team, gotten used to Vanja’s considerable nocturnal attentions, and he knew that Tod and Veee both liked theirs. It was surprising how frustrating it was to be celibate in practice as well as technically.

  Wetzel, Vanja thought in the middle of the night. If you read this, you’re as restless as I am. Meet me outside.

  He did read it. He got up quietly and went outside, checking mentally for villagers. There were none awake. Only Vanja, in completely dark garb so that she was almost invisible in the night.

  Change, Vanja thought from beside him.

  He transformed to unicorn form. She went to bat form, flew up and perched on his head. Get far enough away to be beyond the beetles’ range.

  He walked quietly out of the village, then when the sound of his hooves would not carry back that far he trotted farther, then galloped along the trail back the way they had come to the village. Soon Vanja reverted to human form and rode his back, mentally dwelling on the way her hot thighs were spread wide and her crotch bouncing on his backbone. Yes, I’m firing you up. She was correct; her thighs and her mind were having potent effect.

  When the distance seemed sufficient he halted, breathing pleasantly hard. It was not completely dark here; there seemed to be a faint general glow from the foliage. Vanja dismounted, her apparent clothing fading to complete nudity. She pirouetted, arms lifted, showing off her complete figure. He appreciated it exactly as intended.

  Wordlessly they embraced. She kissed him, her sheer need further inflaming his desire. She hung on tightly, lifted her legs, wrapped them around his waist, and maneuvered until his erect member found the entry. He thrust in, ejaculating explosively as her channel rhythmically squeezed with her own climax. Their mutual orgasm seemed to fill the universe, like a star going nova.

  They remained in place as it faded, just appreciating the fulfillment. They were not in love, but understood each other, and their interest in sex was parallel. He needed the release; she needed the semen. They shared their bliss.

  Then they changed again, and the bat rode the unicorn back toward the village of RedBrick. They had never spoken aloud.

  No villagers were close. They reverted to human forms and quietly entered the house, returning to their separate beds.

  Was it good? Veee’s thought came.

  He chuckled. “Yes,” he murmured, knowing the radio bug would not understand what he was responding to.

  If we’re here tomorrow night, my turn with Tod.

  “Yes,” he repeated, smiling. Then he slept, no longer restless.

  In the morning Tod carefully reactivated the silent alarm on the door, and addressed them openly. “As yet I have no idea how to proceed with the scarab. I think we need to get more of the larger situation,” he said. “That means talking to the women also. We can ask the men where their village is, and go there, hoping they will have useful information. Then we well have a better basis to fashion our campaign to save the scarab.”

  “Will they allow sex at the women’s village?” V
anja asked.

  “I doubt it. That village should be in the beetle’s region, as is the men’s village. You will simply have to endure a while longer.”

  “Guano!” Vanja muttered at the table. The others smiled.

  The assistant brought them a fine breakfast, and was rewarded with another kiss on the cheek.

  In due course Red knocked, maintaining the pretense of their privacy. “Have you formulated a plan?” he inquired, though he knew they had not.

  “We want to visit the women’s village and get their information,” Tod said. “We are, frankly, at a loss at this stage. But we will not quit until we have accomplished our mission.”

  “That’s good,” Red said. “The neighboring women’s village is PinkPebble, about half a day’s walk along the trail. But I must warn you that they have the same restrictions we do, and will not be friendly if you violate their strictures.”

  “We understand,” Tod said. “We will honor the rules of the house, as we do here.”

  If Red appreciated the irony of that statement, he gave no sign. “We wish you early success.”

  They set off along the trail in the direction indicated, Wizard and the bat riding the unicorn, Tod and Veee walking. They paused only for lunch, using their packed supplies, and did not speak of telepathy or their impression of RedBrick Village, alert to the chance of some other radio bug being with them.

  The women’s village was, of course, fashioned of pink stone walls with yellow thatched roofs, and was femininely pretty. The mayor, alert for their arrival, came out to meet them. “Welcome, travelers!” she said. She was a well-endowed woman with, naturally, flouncing pink hair. “I am Pinkie, and you must be the team sent by the Amoeba to solve our problem.”

  “We may be,” Tod said. “We visited RedBrick, and learned some things about the scarab, but thought we needed to get your information too.”

  “You certainly do,” Pinkie said. “You can’t trust anything those men said without verification.”

  Wizard dismounted, and Wetzel and Vanja transformed to human. Pinkie did not look surprised. Obviously she knew about them. “I am Tod. This is Veee, and Wizard. Wetzel is a were-unicorn, and Vanja is a vampire. We work together.”

  “Come this way.” Pinkie turned to lead them into the village.

  Wetzel was not the only one taken aback. There was a large spider in her hair. Then Wetzel knew from her mind that she knew this, and was not alarmed; indeed the spider was there by invitation. It kept her hair neat, and protected her from biting flies.

  “We have one stricture you may already know about,” Pinkie said as she walked. “You are a mixed group, but you must not have intimate relations here in the village.”

  “We do know about it,” Tod said. “We will honor your stricture while we are here.”

  The house was if anything even nicer than the one in the other village. It was fully equipped, and its pantry was well stocked so that they could make their own meals. “I will give you time to get comfortable, then return to brief you,” Pinkie said, departing.

  They were somewhat dusty from their journey, so did avail themselves of the amenities. Vanja and Veee stripped and walked naked to the shower, giving the men a deliberate show. Then it was the men’s turn, giving the girls a show. Wizard did not need to shower; he simply wove a spell of cleanliness, and the dust dissipated.

  Before they could see about making dinner, there was a knock. There stood a stunningly lovely young woman with a beehive hairdo. Bees actually buzzed around it. “I am Pisa,” she said. “I have come to invite you to the evening banquet.”

  “We shall be glad to attend,” Tod said graciously. “But if I may ask—”

  “We all have our hair tended by insects or arachnids,” Pisa said. “We like them, and they are useful. My bees keep my hair orderly, and discourage any unkind attention.”

  “Thank you,” Tod said.

  She dipped her gaze demurely. “But they don’t discourage kind attention. If you should be interested, I know a private place.”

  “I appreciate your interest,” Tod said. “But I am otherwise committed.”

  Pisa turned to give him a marvelous peek inside her low décolletage. Wetzel picked it up from Tod’s mind. “Are you sure?”

  “I am sure,” Tod said. The man had discipline.

  “Perhaps another time,” she said. Wetzel read her disappointment. She was desperately hungry not for romance, but for a baby.

  Wizard, Veee, and Vanja all kept straight faces, intrigued and amused.

  “This way, please,” Pisa said, turning to display her remarkable silhouette. Obviously she had not given up hope.

  Then Wetzel felt the feather touch of his mind. Instantly he buried any awareness of his telepathy. He glanced around, and saw that the others had felt the touch too. So all of them were on guard, protecting their secrets.

  So there was a telepath in the vicinity. That was both interesting and challenging.

  Pisa led them to a larger house with a banquet hall. The other women of the village had gathered and were standing at their places, all of them well dressed. Wetzel picked up the ambient mood: despite the stricture against sex, they remained interested in making a good impression. This was partly because they expected to work with the visiting team, partly because they liked the chance to be good hostesses, partly for the novelty of company, and partly because any and all of them were desperate for male company with all it implied. Pisa was not the exception but the rule.

  Pinkie stood at the circular head table. “Please join me,” she said formally. “Your places are marked.”

  Indeed they were, with neat little placards. Each member of the team was correctly named. The men alternated with the women, Pinkie herself part of it so that the pattern was complete. They were a table of six.

  The food was served, and it was sumptuous, with all manner of meats, vegetables, breads, pastries, and beverages. It was evident that the women of PinkPebble liked to cook and bake.

  Wetzel was not the only one aware of the hairdos of other women as they moved about. One resembled an anthill with red ants that surely would bite anyone who bothered her. Another was a wasp nest with a constant buzz of wasps coming and going. Another had scorpions. Others had dragonflies, butterflies, ladybugs, or termites. One even swarmed with tiny fruit flies. None harmed the women, and some were quite pretty.

  “We do favor insects here,” Pinkie said, observing their interest. “And of course spiders. Our fellow travelers protect us and serve us, not to mention keeping our hair neat and interesting. You will want to acquire similar friends yourselves.”

  “We will?” Tod asked, surprised.

  “You will not be able to get close to the beetles unless you demonstrate some affinity for their kind. That is why we adopted the insects; it makes us compatible.”

  “How does a person adopt an insect?” Tod asked.

  “Actually it is the other way around,” Pinkie said. “The insects adopt the people. They are mildly telepathic, and know the true feelings of those they encounter. They will not befriend anyone who does not truly want it.”

  Wetzel remembered a stray reference he had read in Red’s mind: bug-spraying captured women. It wasn’t that they were unclean, but that they were protected by their bugs. A woman with hornets in her hair would not be readily raped unless the hornets were killed.

  There were nasty aspects to this situation.

  Now Wizard had a question. “As I understand it, it is the scarab we have to save, not any other insect. Why should we befriend non-beetles?”

  “For the same reason we do,” Pinkie answered. “To demonstrate that you are not hostile to any type of insect. You can’t approach the scarab directly; you must win its confidence in stages.”

  “And if we win that confidence,” Wizard asked, “How will that facilitate our mission?”

  “I don’t know. But you certainly can’t help the scarab if you never get close to it.”

  Wizard
nodded, accepting that.

  “We will try to befriend the insects,” Tod said. “Then we will consider the next stage.”

  The dinner finished, they cleared the tables and set the chairs around the edges of the chamber. “Now the dance,” Pinkie said.

  The younger women put on a phenomenal show, twirling in their flaring skirts, showing off their legs and just about everything else. It was highly seductive. Then they came after the five members of the team, dancing with them. It was easy to do; all they had to do was stand in the vicinity while several girls whirled around each, like orbiting planets, swooping in to steal quick kisses. The men obviously liked it; Veee and Vanja less so.

  One of Wetzel’s orbiters was Pisa, with the beehive. She had evidently given up on Tod and now was trying the next. Both her body and her mind were highly suggestive. “I know you are the unicorn,” she murmured during a swoop. “And I am a virgin.”

  And she was! That paralyzed Wetzel, who had somehow not picked up on that before. Suddenly he had to have her.

  She knew she had gotten to him. She took his hand and led him outside. The other girls did not protest; she was doing what any of them would have done, given the chance.

  It was dusk. “Change,” she said. “Let me ride you.” Her mind was fully conscious of the double entente.

  He doffed his clothing, bundled it, handed it to her, and transformed. She leaped onto his back. “Down that street,” she said, pointing. “It leads directly out of the scarab region.”

  He galloped down the street. Soon it emerged from the village and cut straight through the forest. It led to an isolated house. “That’s our love nest,” Pisa said. “Girls make dates to meet men there.”

  They drew up at the house. Pisa dismounted, and Wetzel transformed back to manform. They entered.

  Inside was a room with a bed. That was all. It was indeed intended for trysts.

  Pisa almost ripped off her clothing. Wetzel was of course already naked.

  She flung herself onto the bed, face up. “Do it!” she said, spreading her legs. Evidently she wasn’t interested in foreplay.

  He joined her, his erection manifest.