The Iron Quill

  “I told you. Award-worthy.”

  “So what do you want?” I asked, willing to negotiate.

  Without even thinking about it, she replied, “I want to be a fly on the wall when he first sees you in them.”

  “Absolutely not,” I answered quickly, unable to hold back a smile.

  “What? I just want to see his eyes bulge.”

  The mention of his eyes actually being on me made me shudder.

  “Don’t be nervous,” Kerry said.

  “I can’t help it. Do you have any idea what this means?”

  “Uh, yeah. I think we do,” Dawn interrupted. “Now take the bull by the horns and run with it.”

  “Dawn, it’s not funny. I’m serious.”

  Kerry laughed, but then decided to take the mature route. “Okay, okay, okay. Don’t worry about it, Sophie. Stop thinking of the actual process and just think about Wes. Think about how he makes you feel when he kisses and touches you, and you guys will be fine.”

  Think about how he makes me feel. I took a deep breath, remembering and relaxing more with each intake.

  “What did I do to deserve such a good friend?” I asked.

  She reached out for a hug that led to the longest embrace we’d had in the history of our friendship.

  “I get the goods, and she gets the award. Nice,” Dawn quipped with her arms crossed.

  She looked hurt and offended, but Kerry took charge before I could.

  “Oh, stop pouting and get over here.”

  We pulled her into a group hug until it turned corny and Dawn broke off. “Okay, I’m good,” she said.

  From there, I asked them for a few moments alone and they obligingly went downstairs while I changed into my dress. It fit like a glove and staring at myself in the full-length mirror made me feel pretty and sexy at the same time.

  I hadn’t talked to Wes since last night when my mom had made me say goodbye to him and then confiscated my phone, so I was more than ready to see him.

  I took one more satisfied look in the mirror, took a deep breath, and then made my way downstairs. I’m not sure if it was the dress, hairstyle, or undergarments, but I felt confident and ready.

  I turned the corner to the living room and saw the proud, smiling faces of Kerry and Dawn, and the awed expressions of everyone else.

  My mom’s face was the first to turn from surprise to a smile. “Sophie, you look absolutely stunning.”

  I felt good, but stunning, I’m not so sure. I must’ve shrugged, because my mom zeroed in on me. “Oh, you do. Believe me. It’s perfect.”

  I smiled and thanked her and she hugged me while Tom started snapping away with the camera. “If your father misses this, I’ll never forgive him,” she whispered in my ear.

  I jerked back. “He’s really coming?”

  “He said he was, but he was supposed to be here an hour ago.”

  For a moment I was annoyed she’d not only put this reunion on me at a time like this, but filled me in on the possible failure of it—just when I was feeling calm. But the feeling dissipated when my thoughts turned back to this day.

  Even still, the possibility of his not coming now seemed rude.

  “Sophie, you look great,” Rich said.

  “Thank you,” I said pushing memories of my dad out of my head.

  My mom looked at her watch and got nervous, so she hurried us outside to take some pictures by the garden. The first few were of my friends and me in front of my mom’s rose bushes.

  Next, my mom slipped the camera to Kerry who took some of us with Tom. I felt happy, but every now and then my thoughts traveled back to the pictures of Amelia and Lenny. I couldn’t help wondering whether, fifty years from now, someone else would be looking at these pictures and thinking about how happy I looked.

  I blinked away the heavy reflections and found myself smiling and laughing in the moment. It is a good day, I reminded myself.

  “Come on, Sophie,” my mom chirped, “a few more pictures. Let’s do some of just you.”

  Those were by far the most awkward. It was strange having all eyes on me. I can say with confidence that the limelight is just not for me, but I turned whichever way I was told and smiled away. It was fine for a while, until it seemed like pictures were taking way too long.

  “Mom, I’m ready to go,” I announced. And I was. There was not one ounce of hesitation or nervousness at that point. I think taking pictures with my family and friends was nice, but Wes was missing because he was waiting at the Overlook for me. I felt totally incomplete, and one hundred percent ready to see him.

  “Just a few more.”

  “Mom.”

  She looked around nervously and dropped her shoulders. At that point I realized she had been stalling. But what for? Before I could come up with my own theories, a black limo pulled up and my mom let out a huge sigh of relief.

  “Mom, a limo? This isn’t necessary.” Though it would’ve been a little lame to pull up to the Overlook in my mom’s Honda.

  “Yes, it is,” she said. “You deserve every bit of this, and I wouldn’t have you miss it for the world.”

  I was about to question her assumption that a limo would mean that much to me when the door opened, causing me to hold my breath before my brain even thought to. Getting out of the back was a tall man with black and gray hair, slicked back, and a matching mustache. His black suit hugged his broad shoulders and growing midsection.

  When our gazes met, my eyes immediately began to water behind the hot emotions flowing through me: confusion, anger, surprise, regret, and lurking somewhere underneath, joy. His eyes also watered and he showed no signs of hiding the fact, because he had a handkerchief at the ready.

  Even though it had been about ten years since I’d seen him and seven years since we’d talked, I knew without a doubt it was my father standing there, waiting for my reaction

  Chapter 27

  THE VOW

  Numerous thoughts ran through my mind including shaking my mother for placing me in an awkward situation like this, in front of my friends. But as time froze around us, I realized that now probably was the best time to pull this surprise on me. She knew I wouldn’t cause a scene in front of everyone and ruin my big day.

  Although I’d missed the command that came from my brain, my feet slowly started moving in his direction. He met me halfway across the grass, still dabbing the corners of his eyes.

  “Você é linda,” he said so low I could barely make it out. My Portuguese was practically nonexistent, but I remembered enough to know he’d called me beautiful.

  “Thank you,” I said, having a hard time maintaining eye contact. Avoiding his gaze, I saw everyone else staring at us. I quickly turned back to him.

  “Hello, Sophie,” he said with a heavy accent. He seemed a little nervous and shy, and it made me wonder how he and my mother had ended up together. She had told me they’d met in college. She was attracted to the tall, dark, and handsome look and one year, when he didn’t have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving, she’d invited him to eat with her family.

  A year later, they got married, but after I was born he wanted to go back to Brazil, and she didn’t. At first she said the separation was amicable with promises that he’d visit. He ended up coming once a year until she decided to divorce and change our names back to her maiden one. After that, his visits turned into phone calls, and eventually I just found other calls to look forward to.

  Now, he was standing in front of me on my wedding day, looking at me like I’d just taken my first steps. That’s all I kept thinking, so I reminded him.

  “I’m getting married, Dad.”

  I don’t know what sort of response I expected, but he just nodded. “I know. I want to be there today. For you.”

  Before I could respond, my mom walked over and touched him on the shoulder.

  “Davi, we’re glad you made it,” she said warmly.

  “Gayle,” he said smiling, as if he’d just remembered how pretty she was.

/>   She cut off any further conversation. “It’s time to go. You’ll take Sophie in the limo, We’ll ride ahead. Just walk her up to the groom, and that’s it. Okay?”

  Wait, walk me up to the groom. “Wait, Mom.” I grabbed her arm before she could turn away. “What do you mean walk me?”

  “Your father has flown here for your wedding, and he wants to walk you down the aisle. I think someone should escort you.”

  “But I don’t need anyone to walk me. I’m fine.”

  My dad placed his hand over top of mine, while it was still resting on my mom’s forearm. “Sophie, I would like to walk you, but the decision is yours.”

  I looked around and everyone was watching the reunion like a bomb would go off if anyone moved an inch.

  The last thing I wanted was an argument or feelings of disappointment today.

  “Alright,” I agreed, softly.

  “Great, now come on, someone’s waiting for you,” my mom lured.

  I sucked in a breath and was escorted to the limo. Inside on the seat, my mom had placed a small bouquet of white roses with peach tips. I smiled and picked them up to find a blue handkerchief tucked inside the ribbon around the stems. She really had thought of everything, and I felt so lucky to have told her the truth and to have her on my side.

  During the drive, my father’s presence pretty much kept my thoughts from wandering to needless worry. He took the chance to tell me how pretty I had become and that my younger half-sisters would be very happy to meet me one day. There was enough time for me to hear a little about his life and how he hoped for me to visit his beautiful country.

  I nodded, but my body could sense us closing in on the Overlook. Instantly, my dad’s voice became a hum as I tried to remember the vows I’d planned to say. No matter how much I tried to remember them, it was blank in there. All I could hear was the pounding of my heart in my chest.

  As we pulled up, I caught a glimpse of Wes standing near the edge of the cliff between a few rows of white chairs. Everything closed itself off at the moment I snuck a peek at him looking so handsome, even from a distance. I smiled as my rehearsed words began to come back to me. After a moment, my father called my name.

  “Um, yes,” I answered, forcing myself to turn from the window.

  “I brought you something.” Reaching out, he said, “I want you to have it.”

  I looked down at a small blue velvet box. “Okay.”

  “It belonged to your avó.”

  Wow. I’d never had anything from his side of the family. Suddenly all the attention and love from everyone was enveloping me as I blinked away emotional tears.

  “Thank you,” I whispered.

  The top slid off the box easily, but the contents were hidden under pink tissue paper. My fingers gently moved away the paper to reveal a pair of pendant earrings. When I held one up, a small white flower dangled in the center of a short string of blue and silver beads.

  I usually didn’t wear earrings, but I had lingering holes from earlier piercings, so I went ahead and put them in. They just looked and felt right with my dress. I was about to say thank you again when my father said something everyone had avoided all day for one reason or another.

  “Happy nineteenth birthday.”

  The kind gesture sent an icy pain down my neck and I waited for the chill to come back up, but it didn’t. And once my body rejected any further shock waves from the sudden reminder, I exhaled in relief. Sure, it was a number I had been avoiding, but my dad didn’t know that, so I couldn’t fault him.

  “Thanks,” I whispered, trying to find a place within my heart to accept the milestone. Regardless of what could happen tomorrow, today couldn’t be taken away. I was within reach of having the best day ever and that’s what I planned to do. I smiled, feeling proud that I’d picked this day to do something other than worry about turning nineteen.

  My father gently patted my knee and then slid toward his door.

  “Please stay. I will get your door.” He was still looking at me with a hesitant sense of pride, and I nodded as he exited from his side of the limo, giving me a moment alone while he walked around the huge car.

  Taking another peek at Wes, I picked up the flowers, took a deep breath, and embraced the wild butterflies which had just migrated from my stomach to my chest.

  The door opened and I took my father’s hand and let him pull me to my feet. Wes was about forty yards away, but as soon as he shifted his weight forward like he wanted to come to me, I knew this moment was perfect.

  Not once had I considered my father walking me down the aisle, but I can say that having him there was a huge help. I found myself squeezing his bicep with my intertwined arm as we walked. If I had to do that alone, I probably would have wobbled or tripped. With my father to hold on to, I was easily able to steady myself with each step.

  There was no music playing, but the wind had picked up perfectly. The gentle whistle tickled my ears pleasantly and blew around the bottom of my dress just as I had imagined it would.

  The closer we got to Wes, the faster I wanted to walk. He was so incredibly confident and inviting. The pants of his gray pinstriped suit swayed gently in the wind in a calming rhythm that almost made the moment feel surreal.

  When I reached the last row of chairs before Wes, a sniffle to my left caught my attention and when Wes’ gaze followed the sound, mine did too. At first I only saw Tom and my mother with her left arm around the back of the chair next her. She was leaning into the occupant handing over a tissue. As I took my next step, I saw very frail ankles protruding from under a lavender floral dress and elderly hands dabbing away tears.

  My gaze traveled up to Lenny’s mother’s moist eyes that so familiarly matched the green in my mother’s and mine. I sucked in another cool breath and when my gaze returned to Wes, his expression showed concern for me. I shook my head quickly and gave a soft smile to let him know I was okay.

  In that instant his perfect lips turned up on one side and the minister called for our attention. Everything moved in slow motion as I watched Wes shake my father’s hand. Then I felt a small push on my lower back as my dad gave me away.

  Before I knew it, I was standing square to Wes, reveling in his suit and vest, which were accented perfectly with a turquoise tie. His hair was freshly cut with enough left on the top to curl slightly, and his sides were cut close and perfectly trimmed around the edges. His face was smooth and all I wanted was to put my own cheek against his.

  It felt like just the two of us until the minister instructed us to hold hands. I turned, looking for somewhere to put my flowers and Kerry stood up and took them for me. She went to sit back down until she noticed the handkerchief sticking in the stem of the bouquet. “Oh, here,” she whispered, handing it back to me.

  As soon as the blue handkerchief was in my hand, I realized it was taking all of my concentration to hold in the tears. I looked back into Wes’ eyes. They were nowhere near to exhibiting the same weakness mine were. Thankfully, he looked completely composed and gave my hands a squeeze when they found his.

  The minister recited a standard welcome and then redirected his attention to us.

  “At this time we will have the bride and groom share their own vows. Sophie?” My gaze was fixed on Wes, but I could tell everyone was watching us in my peripheral vision.

  Just then, the wind picked up, making me feel like every moment in my life culminated in this moment. Feeling the wind carry the hem of my dress back and forth made me remember why I had chosen this place to publically share my feelings for Wes.

  I cleared my throat to make sure I was loud enough so our closest friends and family could hear.

  A natural need to be even closer to him came over me, so I moved in until our intertwined hands were pressed between the valley of our bodies.

  “I love you,” I started. “So much that whatever I say today can’t fully express it, because what I feel for you runs deeper than my thoughts, and deeper than my heart. The place where I fin
d the most love for you is in my soul, and even I can’t explain why or how. All I know is that wherever you are, I want to be, and whenever you need me, I’ll always be there.”

  I watched him swallow a few times and bite gently on his back teeth as his way of keeping his emotions under control. His slow blinks and frequent squeezes of my hand told me he wasn’t going to last too much longer trying to hold in the tears that seemed to be lingering on the edge. My purpose was not to force him into a public display of an emotional meltdown, so I hurried along my portion.

  “Neither one of us knows what tomorrow will bring, but whatever happens, I will stand with you every single day, through the good and the bad, the easy and the difficult. I want you to know that I’m in this for the long haul, because I love you, and because I want to take care of you forever.”

  I sniffled a little and at the word forever, Wes bowed his head and closed his eyes. I squeezed his hands and gave our hold a small shake, hoping he was still with me.

  The minister called Wes’ name and he took a deep breath and looked into my eyes.

  He didn’t rush his words or seem pressured to start too soon. After a long moment of him boring into my soul, he spoke words that wove into my ears and wrapped around my bones.

  “Sophie, meeting you has redefined my life.” He was speaking only to me and I was sure our guests were leaning forward to catch his words.

  “What you’ve already done for me will sustain my love for you indefinitely, and what I say today will only convey a fraction of what you’re truly worth to me.”

  He paused to look at the few who knew about our true past. Glancing back at me, he continued in a way that only those privy to our history would truly understand. “I have loved you even before you found me. My heart beats today because of you . . . and for you. All I want is to keep you safe and happy, because when you are those things, I am the same.

  “I love you for the way you make me feel. I stand here Sophie,” and as the slow tears began to fall from my eyes, he leaned in so close I was sure I was the only one who would hear him, “because I promise to take care of you for all of your days, and I will never stop believing in a tomorrow with you.”