Something Like Lightning

  “It’s a birthday.”

  “For who? A little kid?”

  Kelly handed him the folded tripod. “Geez, chill out Mr. Nightlife! Things happen during the day too, you know. And for the record, it’s Layne’s birthday. He’s a friend of mine from the youth group.”

  “Youth group. As in teenagers.”

  “Yes. Tons and tons of teenagers who are eager to meet you for the first time. Prepare yourself. You’ll probably have to give everyone piggyback rides.”

  “Sounds like a real cool party,” Nathaniel grumbled. “Super neato.”

  He was sure it would be. Once back at Nathaniel’s apartment, they showered and dressed, Kelly eager to head out again. He pictured the party taking place in a finished basement with low lighting and pumping music. But when they arrived at the house and were guided to the backyard by Layne’s parents—what he saw there made his jaw drop. Tables, benches, and an impressive buffet were set up to one side. That was fine, but the rest of the yard was taken up by an inflatable monstrosity, the kind for kids to jump around inside of. This one was industrial-sized, multi-colored, and shaped like a cartoon castle. Kelly glanced over at Nathaniel, who shook his head and snorted.

  “Welcome, welcome!” Layne said, approaching them with arms spread wide. “How kind of you to be here on my special day. My very special day.”

  “Eighteen is quite the milestone,” Kelly said.

  But Layne was no longer paying attention to him. Instead he noticed Nathaniel, pausing to look him up and down before stepping forward for a hug. “It’s so nice to meet you at last! We’ve heard so many wonderful things, some of them about you. What’s your name again? Oh, it doesn’t matter. You’re so warm!”

  “Okay,” Kelly said, tugging on one of his arms. “Let go. Seriously.”

  “Fine,” Layne said. He turned to Kelly for a hug before it finally clicked. “Oh. My. God!”

  Kelly did a little jig. “No more crutches!”

  Layne covered his mouth with both hands. Then he grabbed Kelly by the arm and dragged him forward. “Everyone, look who’s standing on his own two feet!”

  Almost everyone present was from the youth group, meaning they were practically family. Kelly hadn’t attended a meeting in months, but seeing everyone felt good, as did their reaction. Most were smiling, a few looked emotional, and when Layne started clapping, everyone joined in.

  “Thank you,” Kelly said, waving them into silence. “I just want you all to know that it’s incredibly insensitive to draw attention to my handicap like this, even if I do have an amazing bionic leg now. You are all horrible people.”

  He was assaulted by groans, turned backs, and a few middle fingers. Ah, they knew him so well!

  “I think it’s fabulous,” Layne said, looping arms with him and Nathaniel, steering them toward the party. “Speaking of which, did you bring my present?”

  Nathaniel held up a long gift-wrapped box. “You mean the bottle you’re still three years too young to drink from?”

  “That’s the one!” Layne said, releasing them and snatching the present away. “This should liven things up!”

  Kelly nodded toward the inflatable castle. “You might want to think twice about getting people drunk and shoving them in your ball pit.”

  “It’s not a ball pit,” Layne said, eyelashes fluttering. “It’s a bounce house, and it happens to be my most ingenious plan yet. Just imagine me and a handsome boy jumping around in that thing, bumping into each other and getting all handsy until he falls on top of me and... well, paint your own picture.”

  Kelly grinned. “So who’s the lucky guy?”

  Layne nodded to one corner of the yard where three guys were hanging out. Kelly didn’t recognize any of them. Two had deep tans and jet-black hair. Unless he was mistaken, they were twins. Chatting with them was a lanky guy with pale skin and dark red hair.

  “Which one are you after?” Kelly asked.

  “Any of them will do,” Layne said. “Or all of them. I’m hedging my bets. I figure I’m tripling my odds by inviting all three here.”

  “Are they from the youth group?” Kelly asked.

  “Imported,” Layne said proudly. “God bless the Internet!”

  “Hungry,” Nathaniel grumbled.

  Kelly patted his arm affectionately. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to go feed my man-beast.”

  Layne smiled pleasantly. “Have fun, you lucky bastard.”

  Kelly led Nathaniel to the buffet, positioning him in front of the deviled eggs and a giant bowl of potato salad. This kept him preoccupied enough that Kelly was able to mingle, catching up with people he hadn’t seen recently, and one he saw plenty of.

  “You guys look amazing together,” Bonnie said with a heavy sigh. “I swear the sun came out when you two showed up here.”

  “Arguing with Emma again?”

  “Do you see her here?” Bonnie asked, sounding more upset than angry.

  Kelly winced. “Sorry. I’m sure you’ll patch things up.”

  “Nope!” Bonnie said. “I’m back on the prowl, looking for my next great love. It could be anyone, even you. Wanna make out?”

  “Seriously?”

  Bonnie’s shoulders slumped. “No. I’m so not over her.”

  “You two have always had your ups and downs,” Kelly said carefully.

  “Meaning?”

  “That you’ve been here before and managed to get back into her good graces.”

  “That’s true.” She perked up a little. “Ever notice that when one of us is lucky in love, the other isn’t?”

  Kelly laughed. “It does seem that way.”

  “So me fighting with Emma means you and Nathaniel are doing good.”

  Kelly nodded happily.

  “Have you used the ‘B’ word yet?”

  “Boyfriend?” he asked. “Totally.”

  “And?”

  “He was cool with it. When I first said it, he did this slow cocky grin thing that always drives me wild. Of course it was sort of gross, because I was on the phone with my mom, but I hung up and—”

  “Heartbroken,” Bonnie reminded him.

  “Sorry,” he said. Then, with more humility, he added. “Yes, we are doing quite well.”

  She punched him on the shoulder playfully. “I’m happy for you. Seriously.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Gather ’round, my precious guests!” Layne called. “Bring those singing voices with you because it’s time!”

  Everyone reconvened around a cake blazing with candles, sang the usual song, and watched as Layne rubbed his chin theatrically while trying to decide on a wish. Once he’d blown out the candles, he appeared expectant.

  “Did it work?” he said. “Are you all madly in love with me?”

  “Yes,” they groaned obediently.

  Layne looked pleased as he glanced around. Then he froze, his face filling with mock terror. “My beautiful palace!” he cried. “It’s shrinking!”

  Kelly turned, trying not to laugh when he saw one of the colorful towers flopped over like an impotent penis. For some reason, the castle was slowly deflating.

  “This is worse than the Hindenburg disaster!” Layne said, rushing forward. “Oh, the humanity!”

  “The air pump motor is still running,” Nathaniel murmured from next to him. “The connection probably came loose.”

  “Think you can fix it?” Kelly asked.

  Nathaniel puffed up his chest. “I’ll try.”

  “Best boyfriend ever.” Kelly smiled after him as he went to investigate. Then he turned back to the cake. Guests were still lingering around, eyeing it hungrily. Wanting to prevent a second disaster, he decided to cut slices before an angry mob formed. As he slopped cake onto paper plates and handed them out, the crowd began to thin. He decided to plate more servings so Layne wouldn’t have to do the work later. He’d need one for himself too. And one for Nathaniel.

  “I recognize you,” said an unfamiliar voice.

  Ke
lly glanced up and found one of the twins standing there. His eyes were cocoa brown, the tanned skin his natural tone, implying he might be of Latino descent. His teeth were bright white as they flashed at him. Kelly found himself smiling back automatically. Whoever he was, the guy was cute.

  “I don’t think we’ve met,” Kelly said.

  “No, but you’re on my wall.”

  Kelly allowed himself to appear slightly concerned. “Excuse me?” “You’re a model, right?” the guy said. He offered a hand. “I’m Rico”

  Kelly set down the cake knife so they could shake. “I’m Kelly.” “Kelly Phillips!” Rico gripped his hand tighter. “I’m right, aren’t I?” “Yeah,” Kelly said, gently pulling away. “You recognize me?”

  “Like I said, you’re on my wall.” Rico’s smile was lopsided. “I hang up magazine ads of hot guys. You’re actually on there twice.”

  “Which photos?”

  “You’re like a sheep herder in one. The other really freaks me out right now, because you’re sitting in front of a cake like it’s your birthday.”

  Kelly glanced down at the plates full of cake and laughed. “I promise this isn’t my norm. Modeling and frosting don’t go together well.”

  “Hey, I wanted to ask you about that,” Rico said. “What do you think of this?” He lifted the front of his T-shirt, revealing a chiseled six-pack, smooth skin, light-brown nipples, an adorable bellybutton, and nicely toned pecs.

  Kelly’s eyes darted over all of this before the fabric dropped again, hiding it from view. “Uh,” he responded.

  “I want to be a model,” Rico explained. “Think I’ve got what it takes?”

  “You’ll need more than just a good body,” Kelly said. “You have to be patient. Photo shoots can be grueling, and some people are more photogenic than others, no matter how good they look in real life. Have you ever worked with a professional photographer?”

  “Naw,” Rico said. “I figured I should get into better shape before I try any of that. So you think it’s a fun job? You get to travel and stuff, right?”

  “I like it,” Kelly said, turning his attention to the cake again, “but it’s definitely not for everyone.”

  “It’s just that my brother says I’m too ugly.”

  Kelly furrowed his brow as he cut another slice. “Aren’t you guys identical?”

  “To most people, yeah, but we can see the difference.”

  “Well don’t listen to him, because you’re gorgeous. In fact, I can give you the contact info of a guy who’s always looking for fresh talent.” “You really think I’m gorgeous?”

  Kelly raised his head. “Don’t sound so surprised. No one’s ever told you that before?”

  Rico’s teeth were brilliant against his brown skin. “Well, yeah, but not a model. Not one of the guys on my wall.”

  Kelly took in the half-lidded eyes, the shit-eating grin, and quickly turned his attention back to the cake again. Time to casually mention his boyfriend and let his admirer down easy. Before he could speak, Rico did so first.

  “You’ve got something on your face. Like frosting.”

  Kelly glanced up, rubbing at himself. “Where?”

  “Right here.”

  Rico reached out a hand, as if to help him, but hooked it behind Kelly’s head. Their lips mashed together a split second later. He felt a tongue try to press into his mouth just before Rico was jerked away with such force that Kelly stumbled forward. His head was still spinning in confusion when he saw Rico being thrown to the ground. Then Nathaniel’s massive bulk crashed on top of him and only Rico’s legs could be seen, like when Dorothy’s house landed on the Wicked Witch of the East.

  Nathaniel’s arm pulled back, ready to punch, and Kelly had a brief vision of police cars, a court date, and jail time. He lurched forward and managed to grab Nathaniel’s bicep just as he was swinging. Kelly wasn’t able to hold it back completely, but he did slow him enough that Rico could dodge. The bastard rewarded him for this rescue by popping Nathaniel on the chin. Now Kelly felt like clambering over Nathaniel so he could beat up Rico himself. He let go of Nathaniel, who didn’t waste time slugging Rico’s face and making his nose bleed. If he’d get out of the freaking way, Kelly intended to claw the kid’s eyes out.

  Bonnie skidded to a halt on her knees, pushing Rico down with one hand and raising the other to ward them off.

  “Break it up!” she said, eyes wide. “Come on, guys. You don’t want to do this!”

  She was right. Kelly pulled on Nathaniel’s shoulders, getting him to stand, while Bonnie continued to hold Rico down. Soon Layne rushed over, crouching next to him protectively.

  “My poor Rico!” he cried. “What have you monsters done to him?” He gave them a theatrical wink before bending over Rico and dabbing at his face with a napkin. “Don’t worry, baby, I’ll make sure they don’t hurt you again.”

  “I guess that’s our cue,” Kelly said, tugging away Nathaniel, who still looked hungry for violence. “Happy birthday, Layne. Sorry about all of this.”

  Layne had a hand on Rico’s cheek and used it to turn his head away so he could mouth the words, “You’re a genius!” Then he went back to fussing over his patient.

  As long as he was happy. Kelly dragged Nathaniel out the side gate rather than through the house. He worried that someone had called the police, and he wanted to get away before they arrived. Releasing Nathaniel’s arm, he reached instead for his hand, but it was knocked away.

  Kelly stared in shock. “You know I didn’t want to kiss him, right?”

  Nathaniel just glowered, leading the way to the car.

  “I’m driving,” Kelly said, rushing after him. “You’re way too emotional right now.”

  Nathaniel dug in his pocket for the keys and tossed them to him. They still weren’t speaking. Maybe that was for the best. They both needed to calm down first. Once they were home again, they would talk this through and get it all sorted out.

  But when they entered the apartment, Nathaniel went to the bedroom and shut the door behind him. Zero pawed at the wooden surface before looking up at Kelly in confusion.

  “I guess it’s just you and me,” Kelly said. “Come.”

  Together they went outside so Zero could take care of business. When they returned, the bedroom was still sealed. All they could do was retreat to the living room and sit on the couch, waiting for a closed door to open to them again.

  The sky was growing dark before Nathaniel came out of the bedroom. Kelly was in the kitchen cooking dinner because his mother always insisted most problems in the world could be fixed by a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of tomato soup. He hoped the smell would lure Nathaniel out, and if not, when he was ready to eat he could dunk his cold sandwich in the hot soup to warm it up again. Zero leapt up when the bedroom door squeaked, and followed Nathaniel into the kitchen, tail wagging.

  “Hungry?” Kelly asked.

  Nathaniel shook his head, eyes red from either crying or sleep. “We need to talk.”

  “Okay.” Kelly turned off the burners and moved the skillet to a cool spot. His own appetite had fled now that he was faced with the unknown. They sat across from each other at the dining table, Kelly eager to plead his case. “I did not kiss him. I was just talking to the guy when he practically jumped me.”

  “I know,” Nathaniel said. “I saw.”

  Kelly scrunched up his face. “Then why have you been shut in your room this whole time?”

  Nathaniel broke eye contact. “It hurt. Seeing another person kiss you... ” He shook his head. “You have no idea how bad that hurt me.”

  “I’m sorry,” Kelly said. “Believe me when I say I didn’t like it either.”

  “It’s not your fault,” Nathaniel said firmly. “That’s what’s so fucked up. I knew when I started falling for you that someone might get hurt, but I promised myself I wouldn’t be the one to hurt you. And I trusted you would try your hardest not to hurt me. Today didn’t break that trust. Neither one of us is a
t fault, and yet we still got hurt because we love each other.”

  “That’s right,” Kelly said. “And it sucks. There’s nothing we can do about it, so we should have dinner together while badmouthing the guy. Or are you really going to let something this stupid tear us apart?” Nathaniel locked eyes with him, which was enough to make Kelly’s blood run cold. “You better tell me what you’re thinking,” he said, voice shaking a little. “Right now!”

  “This will happen again,” Nathaniel said. “Even if we manage not to hurt each other, eventually one of us will get sick, or get bored, or someone else will get in the way. Maybe they won’t mean to. Maybe my mom will need me when she’s older and I’ll have to go to her—”

  “I’d go with you,” Kelly said.

  “—or maybe one of us will die young, or maybe you’ll fall out of love with me because emotions can’t be controlled. Or maybe we’ll get to a point where we want to hurt each other. I know that’s hard to imagine now, but relationships only get more complicated as time goes by.”

  “So we better avoid them?” Kelly snapped. “Why do you even leave the house? Why aren’t you constantly scared of getting hit by a car or shot by some random lunatic?”

  Nathaniel exhaled. “I never was before. Not until I fell in love with you. Now the idea of you being hurt, even just because I am—I hate it. I don’t want to hurt you, but I’m going to now, because if I wait any longer, it’ll hurt worse than you could ever imagine. The longer we let this go on, the greater the pain.”

  “You’ll kill me,” Kelly said, hands trembling. “That isn’t a dramatic threat. I won’t commit suicide or anything like that, but if you leave me now, it’s going to kill me. That’s how much I love you.”

  Nathaniel clenched his jaw and looked away, tears welling up in his eyes. “You have to trust me. This is for the best.”

  “There’s something you’re not telling me,” Kelly said. “What is it? Do you have HIV? Some sort of terminal disease?”

  Nathaniel shook his head wearily. “No.”

  “Something else. This has to do with your past. If you’re going to dump my ass, you can at least tell me. Please!”

  “It won’t make a difference,” Nathaniel said. “People aren’t meant to be together like this. I know society pushes the idea, but it’s false. We’re happier on our own. We’re stronger. You especially. Leaving me won’t kill you. You never needed me to begin with.”