Persephone (The Lily Harper Series Book 4)

  “Or maybe you don’t talk enough,” I pointed out.

  “’Tis ah foolish conversation,” he ground out. “’Tis best we return tae the stookie angel an’ then be oan our way. The faster Ah can be rid o’ the both o’ ye, the better.”

  I, again, opted not to take offense to anything that came out of his mouth. I did so by convincing myself that none of it was true.

  You know he loves you, Lily, I reminded myself. You just have to somehow persuade him that he’s worthy of you loving him in return.

  A wave of shock coursed through me as soon as the thought exited my head, soon replaced with a whole new one. Do I love him?

  Was it possible? Could I actually be in love with Tallis? I mean, yes, I could admit that I cared about him a lot, and I liked him (even though there were times when he drove me absolutely crazy). I figured that was just how men acted in general.

  Do I love him? I asked myself again while staring at the noticeable frown that now appeared to be permanently in place on his mouth. I also focused on the crease between his eyebrows; and the way his brows bunched together to further enhance his scowl. The redness in his cheeks and the tops of his ears only conveyed his obvious aggravation, something I found strangely amusing.

  You already know the answer to that, the voice in my head announced with surety. And, yes, I did already know the answer. I’d probably known it for a while now.

  “Do you know why Bill thinks you’ve been so grumpy lately?” I asked, hoping to bring a smile back to his face or, at the very least, to lighten his mood.

  “That cuddie is goin’ tae be the death o’ meh,” he grumbled as he shook his head. He apparently was not a fan of Bill’s at the moment. Although I couldn’t really say Tallis had ever been overly fond of the angel.

  “Cuddie?” I asked.

  “Donkey,” Tallis explained.

  “Oh,” I answered with a smile, thinking how well the appellation fit Bill. “Well, he was already the death of me,” I added with another laugh. Tallis just continued to shake his head, as if he had no words. Moments later, though, he faced me curiously.

  “Why does the stookie angel believe Ah’m groompy?” he asked.

  I was surprised to find he was interested. “He thinks it’s because you haven’t been with a woman in so long.”

  The redness in his cheeks instantly deepened into an all-out crimson, even spreading so far as the bridge of his nose and the tops of his ears. “The bludy bampot,” he said as he frowned; but then, he cocked his head to the side and appeared to further consider it. “Boot, ’tis mayhap correct,” he finished in a voice so soft, I barely heard him.

  “How long has it been?” I had to ask even though I knew I was way beyond nosy.

  “Ah dinnae want tae have this conversation, lass,” Tallis answered immediately, shaking his head as if his words weren’t strong enough.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, my subsequent shame and embarrassment filling me from the toes up. “I just thought that maybe if Bill were right, maybe there was something you could do about it.” Then I nearly choked on my tongue as soon as I realized what I sounded like, and what I was hinting at. “I mean, you know, you could do something about it with someone else,” I added right away. My eyes widened as I thought better of what I’d just said because now it sounded like I was excluding myself. “Not that I want you to do that with someone else, but since you’ve made it abundantly clear that you and I can’t do it together …”

  “Lass, say nae more,” he interrupted me, shaking his head for emphasis. And thank God he did! I was just burying myself deeper and deeper.

  “Well, you get what I was trying to say,” I finished. The weight of my embarrassment burned my cheeks.

  “Even if yer dunderhead angel is correct, an’ Ah am in need oove ah woman, Ah couldnae tempt Donnchadh so,” Tallis explained, shaking his head.

  “What?” I started. “Why?”

  “’Twould be near impossible tae rein Donnchadh in if Ah even tempted him with the sins o’ the flesh.”

  “You mean having sex would unleash Donnchadh?” I asked, just to make sure I understood him correctly.

  “Och, aye,” he answered with a hefty nod. “’Tis been tae long that Ah have not bled mahself; which means Donnchadh’s power keeps growin’,” he explained. “Any sorta temptation with ah woman would be tae mooch fer meh tae control.”

  “Oh.” I started nodding because his explanation finally began to make sense. “So if you bled yourself first, then you’d probably be okay in that area?” I didn’t mean to sound like such a dumbass, but unfortunately, it couldn’t be helped.

  “Aye,” he answered. “Bleedin’ mahself an’ riddin’ mahself of Donnchadh’s toxins is the oonly way Ah can keep him oonder control.”

  I nodded, but wondered how to bring up the next point I’d been thinking about for a while now. This was one of those conversations that I knew we needed to have but, even so, it wasn’t exactly an easy one to start. “So, I’ve been thinking about something,” I said, dropping my gaze to the ground before losing my nerve altogether.

  “Why am Ah nae surprised?” Tallis asked as he peered down at me with one arched brow. “The day yer mind is quiet is the day Ah will sell mah soul tae the devil, or Alaire, since they are one an’ the same,” he finished with a chuckle.

  “The conversation I wanted to have with you is actually about Alaire,” I replied as the smile dropped right off Tallis’s face, only to be replaced by a glower.

  “Whit aboot him?” he demanded.

  “That undeniable fascination he has for me,” I started. I met his eyes with mine and watched his narrow further. “You said it was completely due to my innocence and his desire to see that innocence destroyed.”

  “Aye,” he answered, eyeing me pointedly. He seemed a bit leery of where this conversation was headed. “Sooch is mah guess, lass.”

  “So, looking at this situation from a logical standpoint,” I started, trying to sound scientific in my approach, “technically, if I weren’t actually innocent, Alaire shouldn’t give a rat’s ass about me anymore; right? I mean, he’d treat me just like he would any other Retriever, right?”

  Tallis shrugged. “One could assume that, Ah ’spose.”

  I nodded, having already convinced myself of as much. “So, sound logic dictates that if I were to know the joys of the flesh with another man, wouldn’t I be ridding myself of Alaire for good?”

  “Ah dinnae know, lass,” Tallis answered, but immediately appeared completely uncomfortable again.

  “Well, I think I have a pretty good idea,” I answered, nodding furtively. I noticed Tallis taking a few steps toward our camp. “Stop walking, Tallis,” I ordered, and he immediately complied. I refrained from further comment and, instead, tried to return to the topic at hand. “Alaire is very concerned about whether or not you and I become lovers.”

  “’Tis none oove his business!” Tallis roared at me, as if I were the intrusive subject.

  “Right,” I agreed. “But our relationship concerns him all the same.”

  “Why dae ye say that?” Tallis inquired.

  “Because every time I see, talk to, or text him, he brings you up.”

  “He does?”

  “Yes, and when he does, he usually asks in some offhand way whether or not we are … lovers.”

  “An’ whit dae ye say in response?”

  “I can’t really remember,” I admitted with a shrug. “Most of the time, I avoid answering Alaire’s questions. I don’t like being painted into a corner and I always feel like that’s exactly what he’s trying to do.”

  “Aye, ’tis because he wants somethin’ from ye,” Tallis confirmed with a nod of his head. “From now oan, ye willnae be dealin’ with Alaire on yer own. Ah will handle him fer ye.”

  “Well, I’m hoping neither of us will have to deal with him for much longer,” I said before taking a deep breath. This conversation was about to get even more painful.

  “Yer
point, Besom?” he inquired as he eyed me with visible reserve.

  “I think my logic is worth testing,” I announced. Nodding for emphasis, I tried to talk my heart into beating at a more reasonable pace.

  “Whit logic is worth testin’?”

  Taking a deep breath, I reminded myself this was merely a scientific conversation that we were engaged in. I was simply searching for an easy solution to a problem known as Alaire’s fascination with me. There was nothing personal about any of this at all. I had no reason for bringing it up other than to solve my problem. And. That. Was. It.

  “Whit logic, lass?” he demanded again.

  “Having sex with another man to extricate myself from this crush that Alaire carries for me,” I testily replied, spitting the words out.

  “Whit man?” Tallis growled, his features taking on a definite dark tone while his entire body seemed to go stiff.

  “Any man,” I answered with a shrug. I suddenly feared I could pass out. “I don’t think the identity of the man really matters.”

  “O’ course the man’s identity matters!”

  Shaking my head, I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm my sporadic heart rate.

  Remember, Lily, I told myself, this is all about logic and problem-solving. There’s nothing personal about it.

  “The man’s identity doesn’t matter because he’s just a tool! A means to an end. The point is more about me losing my chastity and thereby removing me from Alaire’s interest.”

  “Ah dinnae like the sound o’ this a-tall,” he answered, shaking his head emphatically. He set me back on my feet and crossed his arms over his chest while regarding me glumly.

  “It makes total sense though, Tallis,” I argued. I wanted to prove it to myself, since I figured this was the only way that I might emerge from my predicament. “If it means that Alaire will get over this weird crush, then I’m all for it.”

  “Which man are ye talkin’ aboot?” he asked again, his eyes narrowing into slits. Even so, I didn’t miss the darkness in their depths. It soon became pretty apparent that this conversation was seriously upsetting him.

  “No one in particular,” I answered evasively. “Any man will do.”

  “Well, ye moost have someone in mind, lass,” he argued, shaking his head. “One doesnae come oop with sooch ah plan with nae ah partner in her mind tae perform sooch an act!”

  “I didn’t have anyone in mind, Tallis! Honest!” I said in a louder voice. I hoped my increased volume would convince him that I was telling the truth. “It was just an idea I had, okay? I thought I could yank out the root of this problem with Alaire.”

  “Ah dinnae believe ye,” he ground out.

  “Well … well, I don’t care if you don’t believe me!” I yelled in protest. “I’m telling you the truth! It’s not about who my partner is!” I continued, throwing my hands into the air in visible frustration. “It could be you, or Saxon, or any other man!”

  “Saxon?” Tallis repeated, and the fire in his eyes suddenly burned with even more intensity. “Sae ye did have someone in mind, after all?”

  “No, I was just using him as an example,” I replied, shaking my head as I realized I’d just backed myself into a corner.

  “Ye moost have had him in mind ’cause ye brought him oop!”

  Now it was my turn to cross my arms over my chest, so I did just that. “I also mentioned you, in case you didn’t hear me.”

  “Aye, Ah did,” he answered between tightened lips. He continued to glare at me before prying open his mouth and asking, “Does Saxon return this … carnal interest ye have in ’im?”

  “Oh my God!” I said, eyeing the dark night sky. Shaking my head, I could only wonder why men were so difficult.

  “Answer meh, lass,” Tallis insisted.

  “Saxon and I are nothing!” I shouted in no uncertain terms. “I just happened to mention him because he’s the only man, aside from Bill, or Alaire, that you and I both know!”

  “Ahem,” Tallis said while eyeing me like a hawk. Maybe he was trying to read the truth in my body language rather than my words. He continued to brace his arms against his chest as he stared daggers at me. That was when I realized he was jealous. Granted, it took me a little while, but as soon as it dawned on me, I began smiling on the inside.

  So, Tallis was jealous, was he? I was delighted by this small morsel of information and decided to use it to my advantage. I took a deep breath and cocked my head to the side as I shrugged. “But, I guess if Saxon agreed to help me out and was interested in me, I daresay he wouldn’t be the worst choice,” I said, throwing out my comment as casually as I could.

  “Whit!?” Tallis roared. “He would be ah terrible choice fer ye!”

  “Really? And why is that?” I asked, shaking my head as I tried to conceal my smile. “He’s very good looking, funny and, oh yes, very charming. Not to mention how muscular and strong he is too.”

  Tallis immediately shook his head. “Ye willnae convince meh that he is strong, or that he has any trace o’ mooscles! Saxon is naethin’ boot ah Jessie!”

  “A what?”

  “Ah man who looks more like ah woman,” he ground out.

  “You’re trying to say that Saxon is effeminate?” I asked, frowning.

  “Aye,” he answered as he nodded, tightening his hold on his arms, ostensibly so I would notice how his biceps popped out.

  “Saxon has nothing in common with any woman I know,” I argued.

  “Well, he isnae mooscular either,” he carped stubbornly as his eyes narrowed even further. “An whit is more, Ah dinnae troost him!” he said in more of a growl than a human voice.

  “I trust him,” I said. Although it wasn’t exactly the truth.

  “He is naewhere near good enough fer ye!”

  “So who is good enough for me then?”

  Tallis bit his lower lip and appeared to be at a temporary loss for words. Judging by how his chest kept rising and falling, I could tell he was breathing hard. He was also still very upset, made evident by his hands, which were now fists, and his knuckles that were completely white. “Ah dinnae know,” he answered at last, his tone of voice much lower and softer. “Boot whit Ah can tell ye is Saxon isnae him.”

  I expelled a long breath of frustration. Naturally, I’d been hoping Tallis could have stepped up and declared himself the man who should be my first. He was good enough for me and he deserved the honor. But, of course, that would never happen. Tallis remained convinced that he was nowhere near my equal and believed I deserved someone far better than he. Well, and Saxon, too, it seemed.

  “I guess that’s enough about all of this for now,” I said, obviously disheartened, setting out to limp toward our campsite again.

  “The man who deserves tae know ye intimately moost be special,” Tallis said in a voice that was deep, but soothing. I didn’t turn around although I did stop walking. “He moost be a man sooch that can defend ye, boot be kind an’ carin’ with ye. He moost be gentle an’ teach ye what it means tae accept ah man, tae know him sae closely. Ye cannae give yerself tae joost anyone, lass. Ye are tae special fer that.”

  I didn’t turn around to face him right away. Instead, I stood there and stared at the darkness behind the long dead trees. All I could do was imagine the remains of what once was a thriving and beautiful forest. That was long before the despair of the Underground City turned it into the atrocity that I beheld now.

  “The sad part about all of this, Tallis, is that I’ve already met the right man,” I replied. I turned around and focused on him and the haunted look that outlined his pinched expression. “The man that you just described is standing right in front of me, but he refuses to consider himself as such.”

  I didn’t wait for his response; I already knew what it was going to be. Instead, I hobbled forward, preparing to reunite with Bill and, hopefully, emerge from the Dark Wood sooner rather than later.

  “Fiercely adverse have they been to me...”

  - Dante’s Infe
rno

  NINE

  Five Days Later

  After eventually returning home to Edinburgh, I slept for three days straight. By the fourth day, my strength and overall well-being were vastly improved, if not altogether restored.

  “I can’t decide what the hell to watch,” Bill announced. He kept flipping through the channels from where he lay sprawled out on the couch, his feet propped up on the ottoman. His T-shirt had ridden all the way up to his man boobs, and his round stomach looked like that of a beached seal. “I’m like, Netflix Bipolar, I swear.”

  “Isn’t it my turn to pick anyway?” I asked from where I sat in my chair beside the couch. When I didn’t get an answer, I turned to face Bill expectantly before my attention shifted to Delilah, who was sitting beside him.

  Delilah Crespo was a fellow Soul Retriever whom Bill and I encountered in the prison, level three of the Underground City. Seeing how it was Delilah’s first mission to the Underground, it came as no surprise that she was less than adequately prepared for the trip. Afterlife Enterprises pretty much sucked when it came to any form of training or job preparation for its new recruits.

  Bill and I first crossed paths with Delilah while she was trying to defend herself against Plutus, a half-man/half-wolf demon. It turned out to be extremely fortunate for her that we did because we’d essentially rescued her from Plutus and the Underground City. Afterwards, having been understandably traumatized, she was grateful for the opportunity to stay at our place while I finished my mission. I was more than happy to let her stay.

  Extending my hand toward Bill, I wordlessly tried to let him know I wanted the remote control back. It was my turn to choose what we would watch next, but he abjectly shook his head and snatched the remote clear out of my reach.

  “No, nips,” he announced with a frown at me. “I hate to break it to you, but you’ve been forever banned from picking shit to watch.”

  “What?” I asked vehemently. “Why?”

  “Because I refuse to sit through another one of your boring-ass shows where everyone’s drinking tea and dressed up like assholes while they talk in weird accents and ride horses! Who the fuck rides horses? No one!” he finished while tightening his grip on the remote.