The Daughters Take the Stage

  chapter 5

  Hudson jumped back into yet another chataranga, and her elbows buckled as she lowered herself, push-up style, an inch from the floor.

  “Now curl your toes into upward dog, and take a deep healing breath,” said Niva, Holla’s yoga instructor, who paced calmly in front of them. “Reach your heart to the front of the room.”

  Hudson moved easily into upward dog, balancing her weight on her hands, but reaching her heart anywhere was a tall order. It was Christmas morning, and it was snowing, and she wanted to be lying in bed, smelling Lorraine’s vegan chocolate bread pudding as it baked in the oven. Or walking Matilda down the snow-dusted West Village streets. Or exchanging gifts with Lizzie and Carina. (They’d tried once to do “Secret Santa” but the “secret” part had lasted only a few minutes.) Instead she was on a mat, sweating, just inches from her mom, who, several days after their fight in Hudson’s bedroom, still seemed to be angry.

  “Now curl your toes for downward dog,” Niva droned in her ethereal yoga voice.

  Hudson grunted a little as she moved back into the pose. Christmas was always a little tricky in Holla’s house. It was the one day of the year when all the people who usually swirled around them—Holla’s publicist, record executive, and manager, to name a few—went home to pay attention to their own lives and families, and the house was unusually quiet. Sometimes Holla could get her yoga teacher or makeup artist to come over for Christmas dinner, but today it would be only Jenny, Holla’s sister. And Hudson knew that this was the real reason she felt a little antsy.

  “Feel your limbs get heavy,” Niva said as they lay in resting pose at the end of the class. “Feel your arms sink into the floor.”

  Hudson fluttered her eyes closed. She thought of Lizzie and Carina, who’d been so sweet about her disastrous night at the ball. The next day the two of them had taken her out to Pinkberry for a quick pep talk and reality check. “Nobody even talked about it the whole night, I swear,” Carina had said around a mouthful of Cap’n Crunch–topped yogurt.

  “Uh, that’s because you were on Planet Alex all night,” Lizzie had teased, nudging Carina with her elbow.

  Now Lizzie was at her grandparents’ house down in northern Florida, and Carina was with her dad in Aspen. The city felt empty without them, even though they’d been texting one another the entire week.

  “Breathe in through your nose,” Niva droned on, her voice getting more and more unworldly. “Let go of all earthly worries…”

  Sounds good, Hudson thought, drifting close to sleep, just as the door to the yoga studio opened with a loud whoosh. Heavy footsteps shook the bamboo floor.

  “Merry Christmas!” said a high-pitched voice.

  Hudson opened her eyes and craned her head. Aunt Jenny was standing in the middle of the room, clutching some red shopping bags and looking amazing, as usual. She wore a belted coat of what looked like lavender-dyed rabbit fur, a thick cashmere scarf in deep purple, and earrings that were actually safety pins dripping gold chains. Her cropped hair showed off her beautiful oval face, which was, as always, free of makeup. Her boots were part grandma, part sexy, with pointy toes and stiletto heels, and her nail color matched the inky black of her vinyl bag. Jenny had been the one to take Hudson to her first flea market, and she’d given Hudson her first handbag: a crimson alligator Ferragamo clutch from the sixties. Hudson still had it, but she never left the house with it; she was too scared of losing it. “Oh,” said Jenny, letting her shopping bags drop to the floor. “I thought you guys would be done by now. Sorry!”

  She was famous for being either too late or too early, and today her arrival had fallen on the way-too-early end of the spectrum. They hadn’t expected her until lunch.

  “That’s okay,” Holla said. She slowly sat up. “We’re just finishing.”

  Hudson sat up. “Hi, Jenny!”

  “Hey, Hudcap! You look great! Awesome headband.”

  “Thanks!” Hudson beamed as she got to her feet. She loved her stretchy headband, which was covered with stones that looked like diamonds.

  “Sweetie, the floors,” Holla said.

  Hudson looked down, but then she realized that Holla was talking to Jenny. Jenny’s spiky heels had made scuff marks on the floor.

  “Oh, whoops, sorry about that,” Jenny said, examining the heels of her boots with an embarrassed smile.

  “Just take them off,” Holla said, smiling tightly. “Please. We don’t allow shoes in here.”

  Jenny unzipped her boots and slipped them off. “Sorry, again,” she said.

  “No problem,” Holla said warmly once the boots were off. She walked over to Jenny and the two sisters shared a tepid hug. “How are you?” Holla asked.

  “Jet-lagged,” Jenny said. “Ever since I got home I’ve been getting up at the crack of dawn.”

  “You’ve gotten taller,” Jenny said to Hudson. “When was the last time I saw you?”

  “I think just before you moved,” Hudson said. She grabbed Jenny’s hand. “How’s Paris?”

  “Incroyable,” Jenny said with a smile.

  “I want to come visit!” Hudson exclaimed. “Maybe for spring break?”

  Jenny’s smile faded, but only a little. “Sure.”

  “Are you hungry?” Holla asked.

  “Actually, breakfast would be great,” Jenny admitted.

  “I’ll take you,” Hudson answered. She led her aunt upstairs to the kitchen while Holla left them to shower and change.

  Hudson made herself a bowl of steel-cut oats while Jenny devoured one of Lorraine’s gluten-free muffins.

  “So my jewelry studio in Paris was awesome,” Jenny said as she pulled off another hunk of muffin. “I shared it with three French girls. They were really mean at first, but then I figured out how to talk to them. French girls definitely make you work for it, but then they open up and they’re really cool. I’ll miss them.”

  “So… how’s that guy?” Hudson asked, trying not to sound too nosy.

  “What guy?” Jenny asked, wiping off her fingers with a napkin.

  “The guy you moved there for,” Hudson said. “The one you said was The One.”

  “Oh,” Jenny said, grimacing slightly. “Jean-Paul.” She shrugged. “It didn’t really work out. He was a Capricorn. Totally wrong for me.” She waved her hand. “Next time I really need a Sagittarius. Or a Libra. Plus, Paris was different than I thought it would be. I don’t know. It was a little cold. I missed New York.”

  Hudson nodded uncertainly. “So you’re not staying there?”

  “No,” Jenny said, shaking her head. “It’s better if I leave.”

  Hudson ate another spoonful of oats and tried not to worry. One thing was for sure: Her mom wasn’t going to like hearing any of this. Jenny had lived in more places for less time than anyone else Hudson had ever heard of. And each time she moved, Holla got more frustrated.

  “So you’ve moved back here then?” Hudson asked.

  “Well, sort of,” Jenny said. “I still have to go back to Paris and get my stuff. But let’s not talk about it, okay? I want to hear all about what’s going on with you. How are Carina and Lizzie? Are they coming over?”

  “No, but they’re fine,” she said. “They both have boyfriends now.”

  “Really?” Jenny’s eyes lit up. “So now we have to get you one.”

  Hudson shrugged. “You know me. I’m not really into high school guys.”

  “Smart. Always go for the older ones,” Jenny said. “They’re the ones who know how to treat you. Then again, Jean-Paul was fifty, and that didn’t mean anything.” She put down what was left of her muffin. “So how are things with your mom?” she asked in a more serious voice.

  Hudson hesitated. She’d learned not to tell Jenny too much about stuff with her mom. “Things are fine,” she fibbed, scraping the side of her bowl with her spoon.

  “Does she let you do anything?” Jenny asked. “I can tell she doesn’t let you eat anything,” she said, looking at the oatmeal.
“But does she let you go anywhere? Or do you still have to be driven around in that car?”

  “She’s strict,” Hudson said simply, hoping to get off the topic.

  “And how’s your album coming along?”

  Hudson stood up quickly. “You know, I think I should probably get in the shower,” she said. “I don’t like to sit around in wet workout clothes. It’s gross.”

  Jenny stared at Hudson. “I didn’t mean to pry, Hudcap. I’m just interested in you.”

  “I know, but really, everything’s fine,” she said. “I’ll be right back.”

  In the shower, Hudson lathered her hair, feeling guilty about her rude departure. But there was something about Jenny that made her nervous. Talking to her felt like walking a tightrope—if Hudson told her too much, or said the wrong thing, she would fall, and she didn’t know where she might land.

  After showering, she dressed in a long-sleeved silver tunic that always made her think of tinsel, pulled on her electric purple skinny jeans, and thrust her feet into some high UGGs. When she walked downstairs, she found that Holla and Jenny had moved into the serene, all-white living room and were curled up on the low, long sofa. A gigantic painting consisting solely of a splash of pink and purple hung on one wall. Candles flickered on the white piano in the corner, and a fire crackled in the fireplace. Holla tried hard to make this house cozy, but it was always a little too big, a little too cold, and a little too white for Hudson to really get comfortable.

  “Hey! You’re just in time for the trunk show!” Jenny joked. “Sit down and pick something out.” Several different racks of earrings and bracelets were set up on the glass coffee table next to an open, velvet-lined display case. The shopping bags Jenny had carried into the yoga studio sat at her feet.

  Hudson plopped down next to her aunt. “Those are cool,” she said, pointing to a pair of silver earrings in the shape of serpents, with garnets for eyes.

  “Try them on,” Jenny said, taking them off the rack and handing them to Hudson.

  Hudson slid them into her ears. Jenny hadn’t been designing jewelry for very long, but she already knew what she was doing. Hudson grabbed the hand mirror on the table and looked at herself. “Wow,” she said, turning her head this way and that, watching the red stones catch the light.

  “They’re all yours,” Jenny said.

  “I hope the InStyle mention helped,” Holla said, leaning back against a pile of throw pillows. She looked relaxed and comfortable sipping from a steaming mug of chai tea, an oversized white blanket over her legs, but Hudson could detect a slight edge in her voice.

  “Yeah, it was great, thanks,” Jenny said, running a hand through her hair. “Of course, I wasn’t really ready to fill orders yet, but it always helps to get your name out there. So, Hudson,” she said, turning back to her niece, “do you want those, or do you want to try a few others on?”

  “I’ll definitely take these,” Hudson said, putting down the mirror. “Thanks.”

  “So… are you moving back here?” Holla asked, taking another sip of tea.

  Jenny turned back to her sister. “Yes. Probably right after the holidays. But I spent the time in Paris well, and I made a ton more pieces, and there are a few stores in SoHo now that I think would be just perfect for my stuff. So I’m really excited.”

  Holla nodded slowly. “And the guy… just didn’t work out?”

  “No,” Jenny replied. “Not so much.”

  “Well, in that case,” Holla said delicately, “I want to propose something.”

  “What?” Jenny asked, not moving.

  “You remember Kierce, my stylist?” Holla asked.

  “Uh-huh,” Jenny said carefully.

  “Well, you know I’ve always loved your style, and obviously Hudson does, too.” Holla chuckled. “And I’ve been thinking that before I start prepping for the tour next summer, I really ought to try someone new.”

  Jenny stared at Holla. “You want me to work for you?” she asked, baffled.

  “Just until you get back on your feet,” Holla said.

  Jenny just stared at her.

  “I think it would be fun,” Holla went on. “And honestly, what other prospects do you have right now? What other incredible offers? You’ve been designing this jewelry for two years, and it’s not exactly taking the world by storm—”

  Jenny’s shoulders sagged just the slightest bit at this.

  “And I just see you going in circles, honey. I know how talented you are, and instead you’re just running around from one city to another—”

  “Just stop, okay?” Jenny interrupted suddenly. “Please? Stop.”

  “What?” Holla asked, sounding genuinely confused.

  “That’s possibly the worst idea ever,” Jenny said. “God, Holla. Sometimes I don’t know what planet you’re living on.”

  “What planet I’m on?” Holla asked. “While you’re running off to Paris to live with some guy you just met? Pretending you’re a jewelry designer? Or is it a photographer? Or a handbag designer? I’ve lost track.”

  Jenny started pulling the earrings off the racks and placing them in the velvet-lined box. “Right,” she muttered. “I forgot. You have all the answers.”

  “I don’t,” Holla said. “I just want you to be happy.”

  “I am happy,” Jenny shot back. “I like my life. It’s exciting, okay? I like the way it is.”

  “Mm-hmm,” Holla said. “What’s not to like? You get to traipse around Buenos Aires and come home and have me pay your credit card bill.”

  “That happened once,” Jenny said, shooting to her feet. She started to gather her things.

  “Where are you going?” Holla asked.

  “Out of here,” Jenny said, grabbing the shopping bags.

  “Don’t,” Holla said. “It’s Christmas. Let’s just forget it and start over.”

  “Too late,” Jenny said bitterly. She glanced around the room. “Where’d they put my coat?”

  Holla pointed to the kitchen. “Back there,” she said with an air of defeat.

  Jenny leaned down and gave Hudson a hug. “Merry Christmas, Hudcap.”

  Hudson hugged her aunt back. “Thanks for the earrings,” she whispered helplessly.

  “Oh, and here,” Jenny said, pointing to one of the shopping bags. “These are for you guys.” She crouched down and pulled out several presents wrapped in shiny bronze wrapping paper and tied with red velvet bows. She stacked them carefully on the coffee table. “Just a few things from Paris.”

  Holla eyed the gifts but didn’t move to take them. Hudson knew what they were: deliberately out-of-focus photos Jenny had taken and had carefully framed. For Christmas, she always gave them photographs of whatever city she’d just been living in.

  “Have them take you down the back way; the front door’s locked,” Holla said.

  “Of course it is,” Jenny said, walking toward the kitchen.

  They listened to Jenny ask Raquel for her coat and then leave through the service door. Holla stared gloomily into the crackling fire. Several long minutes seemed to pass. Holla’s hands tapped out a silent rhythm on the top of the couch while Hudson sat next to her mom in silence. She didn’t know what to do. She never did at times like this. “Mom?” she finally said.

  Holla swung her feet to the floor and stood up, brushing at her leggings with her hands. “Honey, are you letting that dog jump up onto this couch? I’ve got hair all over me.”

  Holla’s moment of reflection was clearly over.

  “She doesn’t even come into this room,” Hudson said.

  “Well, make sure she doesn’t,” Holla said. “I’m gonna check on lunch.” She padded off in the direction of the kitchen, leaving Hudson alone.

  Hudson hugged her knees to her chest and stared into the fire. This kind of fight had happened before, but for some reason she’d felt that Christmas would defuse the normal tension. She was sad for her mom. She knew how much Holla loved Jenny and wanted her life to work out. It wasn’t
fair for Jenny to always shoot her down. But she could also see how being Holla’s stylist wasn’t exactly a dream job.

  And maybe it was better that Aunt Jenny had left. Having her around only made things more confusing. And today, it had made Hudson feel scared. Jenny had turned her back on her dancing talent and had become, according to Holla, a world-class screwup. And right now, as she sat by herself in front of the cold fire, Hudson felt like she was headed for exactly the same fate.

  chapter 6

  “Is it just me, or did this hallway get longer over break?” Hudson whispered, doing her best not to make eye contact with the cluster of girls standing by the bathroom door. She knew they were staring at her. And whispering. And it was making the walk to the stairwell a little torturous, even though she was sandwiched between her two best friends.

  “Don’t worry,” Lizzie said. “We’ll ignore them.”

  “No we won’t,” Carina whispered, and then looked over at the girls. “Um, is there a problem?” she demanded, sending the girls scurrying into the bathroom.

  “You’re making it worse, C.” Hudson groaned.

  “Well, we have to do something,” Carina said. “They can’t just think that’s okay.”

  Hudson shifted her book bag up her shoulder and headed into the stairwell. The first day back at school had been worse than she’d thought. After Christmas Hudson spent the rest of break holed up in her room reading a stack of fashion magazines and books she’d picked out in the New Age/Self-Help section, with titles like Falling Down, Getting Up and When Bad Things Happen. She convinced herself that no one would remember the Silver Snowflake Ball by the time they went back to school. The night before school started, she’d even checked her horoscope just to be prepared. She’d read:

  Tuesday, January 6—Pisces

  With Pluto sitting firmly in your seventh house, get ready to be the center of attention! You’ll be on everyone’s lips—like it or not!

  “Oh, God,” she muttered and clicked off before she finished reading. That wasn’t good. But still. What were the chances that almost three weeks later, people would still care?