Not That Kind of Girl

  “Are you sure?” she called out over Lilith’s frantic barking.

  He nodded.

  So she did it. Lilith went flying out of the truck, heading right toward the three calm dogs at Eli’s feet. She kicked up the dirt as she raced headlong into the group. She skidded to a stop before she reached Eli and his companions, then arched her back, lowered her hind end and head, and hid her tail between her legs. Lilith growled and exposed her teeth, all while displaying her hackles. Roxie thought she looked as mean as a hyena.

  She sighed. Eli must have heard her, because he glanced her way. With a barely discernible nod of his head, he relayed to her that she had nothing to worry about. Roxie smiled slightly, hoping he was right.

  The largest dog of the group decided he wasn’t much impressed with Lilith, and wandered off to the friendly-looking woman Roxie assumed was Sondra, Eli’s sister. The big brown Lab sat at Sondra’s side, tongue hanging out and tail wagging.

  Another of the dogs, a shepherd mix at least twenty pounds heavier than Lilith, took a couple steps forward. The dog’s tail wagged high and slow; its ears were cocked forward and its head was held high. It seemed to Roxie as if the dog were giving Lilith a friendly warning: You’re welcome to hang with us, but you’d best be gettin’ your shit together.

  The other dog, a homely-looking thing with a pointy, wolflike snout, decided to roll over on her back, exposing her belly. The move seemed to take Lilith by surprise, and she backed off. Her barking stopped and the arch in her back relaxed. Slowly, she approached the animal on the ground, the bigger dog keenly aware of every move she made but not at all threatened. Lilith moved in to sniff the dog still on her back.

  Through it all, Eli had done nothing. He simply stood there, his posture relaxed and his face pleasant, but his presence clearly felt by all. Roxie was fascinated by that aspect of Eli’s personality—he did nothing obvious, but his authority was always evident. She smiled to herself, remembering how she’d felt him even before she saw him that day at the baby shower. It was as if Eli carried around his own personal power source, made all the more intense because he did nothing to promote it. It was just part of who he was.

  Suddenly she wondered—what would that kind of man be like in bed? What kind of sex would a woman get with a man that sure of himself, that in charge? Roxie’s body flooded with heat, the question landing with a thud right between her legs. Again.

  Something must have set Lilith off, because she suddenly barked and growled, then lunged at the relaxing dog. The other dog stepped between them, using his body as a buffer but maintaining his easygoing posture. Lilith relaxed again.

  With a wave of his hand, Eli sent his two dogs off to play. After just a second of hesitation, Lilith ran after them—no barking, no hackles, no froth. Roxie blinked. As impossible as it seemed, her dog was living her dream. She was running free with other dogs, having fun, simply happy to be alive.

  It had taken Eli minutes to give that gift to Lilith. Roxie had been fighting for it for over a year.

  This was the absolute wrong time for this, but Roxie’s chest swelled with tender emotion and she began to cry. Eli was immediately at the passenger side door.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head and looking anxiously to Sondra and Carole, who were staring at her in concern. “Your mom and sister are going to think I’m a spaz.”

  Eli laughed, pushing the brim of his hat back on his head. “Well, you are a spaz, Ms. Bloom,” he said.

  Roxie sniffed, smiling. She loved it when Eli pushed his hat back like that. It made him look sexy as hell, in a mischievous kind of way.

  “C’mon, Roxie,” he said. “Time to stretch your legs.”

  Eli made quick introductions. Almost immediately, Roxie received warm hugs from Carole and Sondra and was guided up to the porch, their friendly chatter pinging in her ears. They ushered her through a strikingly pretty hand-carved door and into a room with a soaring cathedral ceiling, criss-crossed by huge wooden beams. One entire wall was glass, making it hardly seem like she was indoors. Roxie blinked in wonder.

  “My God, Eli,” she whispered. “This place is incredible.”

  “Eli’s bringing in your bags,” Sondra said, her eyes twinkling with delight.

  “Oh,” Roxie said, embarrassed.

  “It’s lovely, isn’t it?” Eli’s mother arched her brows high on her forehead. She was a tall and trim woman with thick gray hair, managing to look pulled together in jeans and a denim jacket. “He designed it himself and worked right alongside the contractor to build it.”

  Roxanne felt her mouth fall open.

  Eli came in the door and shut it with the heel of his boot. “I’ll get the guest room set up for you, Roxie,” he said, smiling as he moved through the main room, bags in his hand. Roxie didn’t miss how his mother and sister widened their eyes.

  “I checked on Lilith, and she’s doing great, so I let everyone out of the kennel.”

  Roxie swallowed hard, watching Eli disappear with her bag. She sure hoped he knew what he was doing.

  * * *

  The meal was delicious and the conversation was easy. Not once did Roxie feel as though she were being scrutinized by the women in Eli’s family, but it was obvious that Carole adored her son and that Sondra looked up to her brother.

  Over a lovely fresh fruit dessert tart—and Roxie’s third glass of chardonnay—she got the question she’d been waiting for. Sondra was the one to ask it. Frankly, Roxie was amazed it had taken this long to get to. In the city, asking what someone did for a living was among the first things you wanted to know about a new acquaintance. It must be different out here in Utah, since they’d already covered topics like Roxie’s family, the drive, dogs, nearby natural wonders, ranching business matters, and a general overview of Eli’s childhood years. That’s how Roxie learned that he’d worn braces, played the oboe, and had a tendency to wander off into the woods and lose track of time. Carole said the police were called more than once.

  But it was Sondra who’d innocently asked what Roxie did for a living. On the long drive, Roxie had thought about how she’d never been even slightly embarrassed by her career, even when Mrs. Needleman chided her for bringing negativity and venom into the world, or some such drivel. But this was different. Roxie had been invited to meet the family of the most remarkable man she’d ever known, and she cared what they thought of her.

  Roxie just told them the truth. She told them about her six years at the Herald, how the paper fired her just before it declared bankruptcy and closed, and that she was now blogging for a living.

  Carole frowned. “You can support yourself doing that?”

  “Some bloggers can,” Roxie explained. “I’ve been quite lucky to attract a wide audience and get the interest of major advertisers.”

  Sondra put down her glass of wine. She began to stare at Roxie, her brows knitting together in intense scrutiny. A few seconds of that was enough to make Roxie squirm. She quickly looked to Eli, who smiled and raised an eyebrow.

  Uh-oh.

  “Oh my fucking God!” Sondra suddenly shouted, her mouth falling open in disbelief.

  “Sondra!” Carole looked horrified at her daughter’s expletive.

  “You’re that Roxie Bloom?” Sondra slapped her palms down on the surface of the dining room table. “No fucking way!”

  “Sondra!”

  Eli cleared his throat, which got Sondra’s attention. His sister stared at him, blinking. She pointed in Roxie’s direction. “Do you know who she is?”

  “I certainly do,” Eli said. “She’s an intelligent, beautiful, sweet, and funny woman who just happens to hate men for a living.”

  Carole’s eyes went huge.

  “I knew it!” Sondra stood up from the table. “I-vomit-on-all-men!”

  “Oh, Sondra. Please,” Carole said with a weary voice. “This is bad enough without you starting on that.” She let her forehead drop to her hand.

  “No, Mom.” Sondra nodded toward Roxa
nne. “She vomits on all men, not me. I mean, that’s the name of Roxie’s Web site. It’s what’s advertised on the T-shirt I won when she published my true story about Alex and his roadside bimbo collection! Remember the T-shirt you won’t let me wear out in public? Mom? Do you?”

  Carole slowly raised her head. She looked around the table, stunned.

  Roxanne slouched into her chair, suddenly putting it all together. “You’re Sonny from Utah,” she said, her words barely audible.

  Sondra smiled. “Yes! My husband was the regional sales manager for a mattress company. He was named Jerk-of-the-Week for February twenty-first through twenty-eighth!” She shrugged. “I missed the Cupid Sucks Award by just a week, but, hey, it was an honor anyway.”

  Eli laughed.

  Roxie lowered her gaze to the hands she was now wringing in her lap, trying to figure out how she could possibly rescue the evening—the entire trip—from the disaster pile.

  “And you knew about this?” Carole asked. Roxie peeked up to determine where that question was directed, and found it had been directed to Eli.

  “Of course I knew what Roxie does. I just discovered that Sondra knows her, too, however.” Eli glanced at Roxie and offered a crooked smile. “You’re famous.”

  Roxie let out a mewl of distress.

  “Well.” Carole grabbed her plate, utensils, and wine glass and went into the kitchen. Eli followed her.

  Sondra collapsed into her chair, sighing with great satisfaction. “It is a real honor to meet you, Roxie.” She raised her wine glass.

  Roxanne tried to smile.

  “But you know we’ve got a situation here, right?” Sondra leaned forward on her elbows. “I mean, truly, my brother isn’t one of those guys. He’s honest and decent and trustworthy.”

  Roxie nodded. “I’m learning that about him.”

  “Plus he’s really cute.”

  “I know,” Roxanne said.

  Sondra smiled. “Good. As long as we’re clear on that, then I’m cool with everything.”

  It took a few moments before Eli and his mother returned to the table. Carole tried her best to offer Roxanne a brave smile. “It was nice meeting you,” she said, slipping her purse strap from the chair. “I think we should head home, Sondra. We should probably give them some time alone. I’m sure they have a lot to sort out.”

  Sondra shrugged and got up from the table, taking her dishes into the kitchen. A few moments later, Eli and Roxanne walked them out to their trucks. Sondra’s chocolate Lab jumped into the front seat with her.

  Roxanne had to give Carole credit—she’d remained pleasant enough, even though she probably hated Roxie’s guts. And understandably so. If Roxanne ever had kids, she sure wouldn’t want her boy hanging out with someone like herself.

  Carole drove away first. “We’ll swing by later this week, but we’ll call ahead!” Sondra waved as she drove off. “You two crazy kids have fun!”

  Roxanne stood in the dirt, surrounded by the darkest kind of dark she’d ever experienced, and shuddered. Eli slipped a strong, warm arm around her shoulders, pulling her tight against him.

  “That sure was exciting,” Eli said.

  Roxanne didn’t say anything. She suddenly felt quite sad. The idea that Eli’s mom hated her didn’t sit right, and she’d never once given a damn what anyone thought of her or the way she lived her life. Ever.

  Roxanne took a deep breath of the cold air and looked around at the strange shadows and shapes surrounding her, figuring that people in Utah must not put a premium on outdoor lighting. A shiver went through her that had nothing to do with the chill. “Where’s Lilith?” she asked.

  “Let’s find out.” Eli let go with one of his quick, high-pitched whistles, and Roxie immediately heard the canine stampede coming their way. She anxiously scanned the group, looking for Lilith. She found her in between a little terrier and the dog with the wolf snout. Her tail wagged and her eyes sparkled in the dark.

  “I want her to sleep inside tonight,” Roxanne said.

  “Oh, everybody sleeps inside around here,” Eli said. “The pack needs to share a den with the leader, right?” He walked Roxanne back up the steps and through the front door. Only after he’d made a gesture with his hand did all the dogs follow them inside.

  “I know you’re tired,” Eli whispered into her ear, leading her down the hallway to her guest room.

  “Exhausted.”

  They stood in the bedroom doorway, where he turned her to face him. A small smile played on Eli’s lips but his eyes were intense. Roxie’s whole body began to hum as her brain went wild with competing thoughts. I shouldn’t have come here. I love the way Eli’s touch feels. So what if his mother hates me? God, I just want to go home. It’s so pretty here. Thank God he didn’t assume I’d sleep with him. Why didn’t he want to sleep with me? Is there something wrong with me?

  But all that stuff was nothing compared to the horrible thought that had been lodged in Roxie’s mind since Eli began describing his search for his biological father. She hadn’t had the guts to ask him then, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep until she did.

  “There’s something I absolutely have to know right now,” she said. Roxie was aware that her voice sounded shaky.

  “Sure. Anything.”

  “Does the name Raymond Sandberg mean anything to you?”

  Eli frowned. “Should it?”

  Roxie groaned with relief. Then she laughed at herself, embarrassed. “That’s excellent news.”

  “What’s all this about?” Eli gave her a smile but his eyes were concerned.

  “Oh, I had the most horrible thought on the drive here, but if I tell you, you’re going to know how much of a spaz I really am.”

  Eli laughed. “I already know. Who’s Raymond Sandberg?”

  “He’s my pig-faced ex.”

  “Ah. So why did you think I’d recognize the name?”

  She shook her head and looked at her socks. “You know how you told me I shouldn’t expect the worst possible outcome with stuff?”

  “I remember.”

  Roxie raised her eyes to him. “Well, when you were telling me about all the men you’d gone to in an effort to find your biological father, and how you had just one man left on your list, I had this horrible thought …”

  “Oh, Jesus, Roxanne.” Eli closed his eyes. “That is horrible.”

  “Yeah. Crazy. But it’s not completely out of left field, you know. I think Raymond was at Berkeley Law about the same time your mom was on campus. It’s not outside the realm of possibility.”

  Eli slipped his arms around Roxie and pulled her tight. “Roxanne. The last guy left on my list is a Palo Alto accountant named Arnie Weatherholder. And I’m happy to report that my mother didn’t have sex with every male on UC Berkeley campus. But then, she was only there one year.”

  Roxanne hugged him tight, resting her cheek against the warmth of his chest. She was suddenly, completely relaxed. And so tired she could hardly stand.

  “With that good news, I should let you get some rest,” Eli said. He held Roxie in front of him then lowered his mouth to hers, giving her the gentlest kiss—so tender and respectful—while he tilted her chin with his fingertip.

  Roxie melted. An embarrassing groan came from deep in her throat. She wanted more. Why hadn’t Eli ever kissed her again in the way he had at the paddock, or at the park? Why had all his kisses since been so cautious?

  Once he ended the kiss, his smoky green eyes smiled down at her. “We’ll start in the morning.”

  “Start what?” she asked, licking her lips.

  Eli laughed softly. “Working with Lilith.”

  “Oh.” Roxie swiveled her head to find Lilith already curled up in a ball on the guest room floor. “We’re doing really good, aren’t we?”

  “We are,” he said, grinning. “But I have a feeling that good is just the beginning.”

  Chapter 13

  When it was still dark outside, Eli padded down the hallway
in thick woolen socks, his entourage clattering along with him. Eli heard Lilith whine and scratch at the guest room door, wanting to join her new friends, so he let her out. He couldn’t resist a quick peek in at Roxie, but all he could see was a fall of dark hair and one slender hand hanging over the edge of the bed—the rest of her was buried under a mound of quilts. He smiled as he closed the door, figuring she must have raided the hall closet in the middle of the night searching for warmth.

  Maybe soon, she wouldn’t need extra blankets to keep her warm—because she’d have him.

  Eli let the dogs out and made a pot of coffee. Within minutes he was out on the front porch sipping from his favorite pottery mug, hoping Roxanne packed the way he’d advised her to. It was colder than usual for a May morning in southern Utah.

  Eli’s eyes moved from one wonder to the next. To the east was the first glow of orange sun coming over the Cedar Breaks. To the west were the dark purple remnants of night, just about ready to fade away. He observed the steam of his breath and beverage rising into the morning chill.

  This was what he loved about his home—the stillness, the peace, the magnificence he found in the simplest things. He couldn’t wait to share it all with Roxie.

  But he wouldn’t delude himself. He had no idea if the woman buried under three quilts in his guest room would take to this world—his world. She might. But she very well might not. Like everything else about Roxie Bloom, it was something that couldn’t be forced.

  He’d tried to explain that to his mother last night. He told her that Roxie had issues but that her career didn’t diminish all the wonderful things he saw in her. “Man-hating is just a stop on the road, not her destination,” he’d assured his mother. She hadn’t seemed convinced.

  That was when he tried to change the subject by telling her that Milt-in-Your-Mouth was the latest to be eliminated. Bad move. She’d glared at him as if he’d slapped her. “How many more do you have on that list, Eli?”

  “Just one. The nerdy math major who lived in your dorm.”

  She’d nodded curtly. “I can’t wait for this to be over, Eli. Not for my sake, but for yours.” She’d put her hand on his cheek. “You’ve been through so much. This crazy business in San Francisco has brought you nothing but more disappointment.”