Limits of Destiny (Volume 1)

  I ran my thumb across his perfectly shaped lower lip. “I’m trying to find out more about you.”

  “Let’s go back to the house. I have an idea.” He helped me sit next to him at the front and then stood at the rudder and started the boat’s engine.

  * * *

  Next morning, I woke up at half eight. Alexander was still asleep. He was lying on his front with one hand on top of his head and the other under the pillow. I regarded him in admiration and tried to find something about his appearance I didn’t like. I failed. He was simply perfect. He had long eyelashes, a straight nose, a strong manly chin, and high cheekbones. And his soft lips, which always made me want to kiss them, were simply divine. Alexander was incredibly masculine, with his impressively wide, muscular shoulders, narrow waist, and long legs. God had given his all when he’d created this man.

  I quietly slipped out from under the cover, brushed my teeth, put my hair in a bun, and filled the jacuzzi. After pouring in some aromatic, rose-scented salts, I took my iPhone out of the pocket of my robe and put on Schubert’s “Serenade.” I lay in the bath, and yesterday’s pleasant memories floated back up into my consciousness.

  After we returned from the speedboat ride, we only managed to get to the kitchen floor and did it there and then. The sex was wild and tender at the same time. Alexander was as incredible as always, making me come three times. Just the memory made the muscles in my groin tighten. I hadn’t felt so well for a long a time—relaxed, satisfied, and happy.

  After we made love, we went for dinner at a very classy restaurant with a perfect view of the lake. Alexander was kind and gallant the entire time—a true gentleman. I told him about my life in the States, and he told me about Switzerland. I’d never been on such a good date with a man before. This was probably because I was in love, or perhaps it was that he knew how to make a woman feel special. After dinner, we went back to the villa and, nestled next to each other on the couch, watched the comedy American Pie. We both laughed heartily. We joked about the upcoming meeting with his parents, and laughing, he assured me there wouldn’t be any surprises like those in the film. We giggled, hugged like teenagers, and felt each other up. In the end, we also did it on the couch.

  I tore myself away from the sweet memories, opened my eyes, and realized Alexander was watching me. How long had he been standing there? I hadn’t heard him come in. I took off my earphones. He came over, leaned in, and pressed his lips against mine.

  “What were you thinking about?” His eyes gleamed in the bathroom light.

  “About yesterday. I had a great time, and I have you to thank for it.”

  “It was really good for me too, baby.” Our lips touched, and I moaned.

  I dug my hands into his hair and invited him, “Come in with me.”

  Alexander took off his boxers and stepped into the jacuzzi, splashing some water onto the floor. “What are you listening to?” He took the iPhone out of my hands and put it on speaker. The sounds of “The Prayer,” a duet between Katharine Mcphee and Andrea Bocelli, came from the phone and spread across the bathroom. He snuggled up next to me and ran his index finger across my face.

  “Do you have any idea how sexy you look with these pink cheeks and thick lips, Alexia? Like the goddess from my hottest dreams.” He gripped my lower lip with his teeth and pulled it gently.

  I slid my hand down his belly and grabbed his enormous member. Neither of us could control ourselves.

  “See how perfectly our bodies fit together, my precious? We’re made for each other.”

  He slightly opened his lips, stuck his tongue in my mouth, and moaned, and the erotic sound reverberated through my body and made me forget the world around us.

  * * *

  While I was making an omelet for breakfast, Alexander came in with my cell phone in his hand.

  “It’s for you, baby—your father.”

  “My father?” I looked at him in confusion and glanced at my watch. “But it’s four in the morning over there.”

  Alexander shrugged. “It must be important.”

  I grabbed my iPhone. “Hi, Dad, what’s wrong?”

  “Johnny’s in the hospital, but don’t worry—” he replied.

  “What?” I interrupted. Suddenly, I felt dizzy, like everything in front of me was spinning. I instinctively put my hand to my lips to stop their trembling. My heart started beating furiously. Tears streamed down my cheeks. I was afraid of the worst.

  God, no, not Johnny too. Oh God. Please. Have mercy. Save Johnny. Please.

  “They had to take out his appendix. Please don’t worry. He’s already awake from the anesthetic, and the doctors said he’ll be fine. Alexia, dear, can you hear me? Alexia?”

  “Yes, I heard you,” I managed to reply through sobs and tears.

  “Please, darling, calm down. It’s all over. Johnny is much better now.”

  Having noticed my state, Alexander put his arms around my waist. His palm calmingly slid up and down my back.

  “Dad, you’re not holding anything back are you? If something…” My voice faded. “If something were to happen to Johnny…”

  “I’m telling you the truth, Alexia. Please don’t cry, honey. The worst is over. Johnny is fine now. He’ll be in some pain at first, which is normal, but it will all pass soon.”

  “I’m taking the first flight to Boston.”

  “Don’t, dear. You don’t have to come. We’ll cope. He’ll spend a few days in the hospital. Then they’ll discharge him and he’ll rest at home. Everything will be fine. Promise me you’ll try to calm down and that you won’t come.”

  “I don’t know… I’m confused.” I thought about his words. “Well, okay, since you don’t need me.”

  “Don’t talk like that, darling. You know we’re always happy when you come over, but you have work now. You have your own life. We’ll manage here. I just wanted to tell you about what happened, but please, I don’t want you to needlessly worry about Johnny. He really is much better now.”

  “Okay, Dad.”

  “Take care of yourself, my girl. I love you.”

  “I will. I love you too, all of you, lots. Bye, Dad. Give Johnny a kiss from me.” I hung up and hugged Alexander tightly. He cupped my face with his hands and wiped my tears away with his thumbs.

  “What’s happened?” he asked, concerned.

  “My brother had an operation—burst appendix. I was worried about… the worst. Do you understand? I lost my mother, and if now… I don’t know how I would…” I couldn’t continue. I was unable to speak from the lump stuck in my throat.

  “Shh, relax, babe.” He kissed me on the cheek and held me tightly. “It’s all going to be okay. Do you have to leave?”

  “No. My father claims there’s no point.” I reached over to pick up a tissue from the bar and wiped my tears and nose. “God, I was so worried. I hate hospitals. I just have to hear the word hospital and I get goose bumps. I’ll never forget when my mother went to give birth to Johnny… I stayed at home with my aunt and waited for her to come back… I waited, but she never did…”

  My hands were shaking. “My father came home just with Johnny. I asked him where Mum was, and he said, Alexia, Mum isn’t coming back anymore. She’s now in heaven, where she’ll always look over us and be with us. I remember throwing myself on the floor and screaming. I didn’t want to accept what had happened. My father was trying to hug me, and I kept on hitting him in the chest and repeating that it wasn’t true.

  “At the funeral, I couldn’t even look at the coffin. They injected me with a sedative—I was walking around like a ghost. I retreated into myself; I didn’t want to speak to anyone. I refused to see a psychiatrist. That was the worst time of my life. It was really hard for me. I needed her, but she wasn’t there. She had gone… forever.” I wiped my tears, which were choking me.

  “Shh, sweetheart, everything will be okay.” His hands gently rubbed my back. I pressed my face against his neck, and Alexander tenderly kissed my hair. His
caresses calmed me. We stood there hugging for some time.

  “Thank you,” I said quietly.

  “What for?”

  “For being here for me. I need you, Alexander.”

  “Me too, baby.” He kissed me extremely gently on the lips and then looked into my eyes. “Do you feel better?”

  “Yes, much better, thanks to you.”

  “Let’s go have breakfast.” He took my hand.

  “I’m going to the bathroom—I must look awful.”

  “Nonsense.” He pulled my hand and led me to the table.

  14

  The weather was very sunny, almost cloudless. Birdsong drifted through the air, and a light breeze gently stroked my face and body. I lay on a canopied round sofa by the pool, wearing a bikini. I was watching boats passing by on the lake and drinking Martini Rosso, which pleasantly warmed my stomach.

  Alexander had proposed we go to the Spirit spa center, where apparently they offered very good massages and other procedures, but I felt so content at the luxury villa that I didn’t want to go anywhere. I wanted to swim in the pool and enjoy the lovely sunny day in the company of the man I loved. Therefore, Alexander decided to call and ask one of the masseurs from the spa to make a house visit. I lay relaxed while he was enjoying the calming massage Antonio was giving him. He was a true professional—his skilled hands worked wonders. I’d convinced myself of this personally.

  When Antonio finished with the procedures, Alexander went to see him off. In the meantime, his iPhone received a message. I reached over to pick it up and bring it to him—thinking it must be something important—when my eyes fell on the words sex club. I thought I was seeing things, so I read the whole thing.

  When are you going to the sex club again? Bert Gras.

  I felt my hands and feet go numb from the horror that came over me. My world had turned upside down in just a few seconds. The pain I felt in my chest was unbearable. My inner voice bitterly whispered that my relationship with Alexander was doomed.

  * * *

  Rushing toward the house with his phone in hand, I almost ran into Alexander when I barged into the lounge. I wanted an explanation from him, hoping it was just a joke. In that moment, I felt like a drowning woman looking for a nonexistent piece of wood to grab onto in an endless sea. “Alexander, what is this text message?”

  He read and only said, “I haven’t set a foot in that place since we’ve been together.”

  My head was buzzing, so I took out the scrunchie from my hair in an attempt to reduce the pressure. “You pay to fuck in some sick club even though you could have any woman you want? I don’t get you.”

  “Nobody looks for something lasting in such clubs, Alexia. You go there, have fun, scratch your itch, and go home.”

  “You don’t want something lasting… So why are you here with me? Is all this just for the sex?” I asked crossly, raising my voice, which surprised even me, as I wasn’t quick-tempered in general. But the man I’d fallen in love with had the gift of driving me completely up the wall.

  Alexander ran his fingers through his hair. “For God’s sake, Alexia, enough of that. Our relationship is much more than—”

  I interrupted him. “And when do you intend to visit the sex club again?”

  “I won’t go anymore. I’m done with that. I want to be with you.”

  “And who is this Bert Gras?”

  “Vanessa’s husband.”

  “No!” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I stood there dumbfounded, staring at him. “Does she go to these clubs too?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m sorry… what?” This short and simple answer zapped through me like a surge of electricity.

  I felt like I’d been shocked. “But you told me you’d fucked her only once. Is that where you did it? Was Bert watching you? Oh God… I think I’m going to be sick.” My stomach twisted into a ball of knots. I broke out into a cold sweat from the tension.

  “Alexia, please. I slept with Vanessa only once, before she married Bert.”

  It was impossible for me to listen any longer. I ran up the stairs toward the bedroom to pack my suitcase. I wanted to be gone, to run away, to forget. If I could actually ever forget him. After all, he was the love of my life, the only man I truly loved with all my heart. He was the light shining in my life and had made me feel happier than ever before. But now it turned out he had a dark side, which I hadn’t suspected even existed. I knew he was much more sexually experienced than me, but I hadn’t thought he would go to such places.

  And why the hell does he do it? Is he that perverted? I shivered at the thought. Should I leave him? Do I have the strength to leave him? Is this the end? I knew it. I just knew it was all too perfect…

  “Alexia, dammit… Don’t,” I heard him say behind me. He’d followed me.

  I went into the bedroom and looked around. What do I do? Where do I go? I’m not in Zurich. I can’t just go back to my place.

  “Please.” His eyes were full of fear and pain. He tried to touch me, but I took a step back so he wouldn’t.

  “Don’t.” I looked at him, mad as hell. Mad at myself, mad at him, mad at everything.

  I grabbed my head with both hands. “Lily warned me about you, and what did I do…? We’re like fire and ice, Alexander. I’m looking for a serious relationship and you’re avoiding it.”

  “Not this time, baby. I want us to try—regardless of how different we are. I believe we’re a good match.”

  “Ha… A good match,” I bitterly repeated. “And you want me to come with you to the ball and meet these sick people? Your parents don’t know about your ‘hobby’ I take it?” I asked ironically.

  He frowned. “No, of course not. And it isn’t a hobby.”

  “But how can I be sure you won’t want to go there again? When you get tired of me… What will happen with me then?”

  “That won’t happen,” he replied with certainty.

  “It won’t happen? How can you be so sure?” I couldn’t comprehend.

  “I won’t leave you, and I won’t let you leave me,” he replied in a clear, firm voice.

  “You can’t stop me.”

  “Don’t talk nonsense. Of course I can. You have feelings for me. Do you really think I’ve not realized this?” His eyes burned through me like a laser.

  “God help me, I have to go,” I whispered. Quickly, I walked over to the wardrobe to pack my suitcase before I changed my mind.

  “Alexia, stop this now! Do you hear me?” His commanding voice startled me. I turned to face him.

  And he has the audacity to order me about…

  “Please, you can’t go. For God’s sake, don’t ruin what we have together.” Alexander took two steps and was next me. He held me so tight to him that I couldn’t move, let alone wriggle from his grasp.

  “Me ruin this? I don’t go around fucking random… I’m going mad… I revealed so much about my life to you, told you things only my father knows. Why, goddammit?” I hated myself for my weakness, for staying instead of doing the sensible thing and leaving.

  I tried to escape his embrace while I still had my resolve. It was impossible. I knew his touch would make me even weaker. My body always responded to the proximity of his, seeking its warmth, his caresses… And right now, I had to think clearly and resist the temptation. I felt like I was in whirlpool that dragged me deeper and deeper within. I tried to escape, but it was impossible. I was powerless. A part of me wanted to get away, to escape, but another just wanted Alexander, at any cost.

  Can I even be with a man like him?

  “Alexia, listen to what I’m saying and calm down.” His voice was clear and quiet. He was making sure to speak calmly even though I knew he was seething with anger on the inside. “I understand you’re shocked, but try to understand me too. I’m not proud of what I’ve done, but it’s all in the past. It’s already happened. I can’t undo it. I am, however, certain of one thing, which is I want to be with YOU and no one else. I know you
want to be with me too. You can’t hide it.”

  He stared with his lovely eyes into mine, which made me feel even more vulnerable. My legs gave way. I made fists with my hands, trying to suppress my huge desire to hug him and dig my hands into his hair.

  “Give me a chance to prove to you that things between us will work. Please, baby, don’t shut me out. You’ve awakened feelings in me I hadn’t even thought I could experience.”

  It was such a relief to hear those words. I felt the tingle of satisfaction through my entire body.

  You’ve awakened feelings in me that I hadn’t even thought I could experience.

  His beautiful blue eyes pierced me, his lips touched mine, and I responded to his tender kisses. I gave myself to him in the vain hope that I would manage to keep him only to myself.

  15

  I heard Alexander’s muffled voice and rubbed my sleep-filled eyes to rouse myself. He was talking on the phone, looking so elegant and, at the same time, super sexy in his dark-brown suit—like a model who’d just jumped off the cover of some magazine.

  “Excuse me for a second,” he said and put his hand over the receiver. Then he looked at me with his shining warm eyes, came over, leaned in, and kissed me. “Good morning, baby. You’ve gotta get up. You’ll be late for work.”

  I stretched, still drowsy. While I was snoozing in bed, he’d gotten dressed and was now ready to conquer the world. I looked at my watch. It was quarter past seven.

  “Why didn’t you wake me earlier?” I asked quietly. Quickly I got up and walked over to the bathroom. I had slight pangs in my belly and felt drained. My period had come, and I had started taking the pill.

  Yesterday, we came back from Como to Küssnacht late at night and immediately went to bed. I fell asleep like a baby in Alexander’s arms, happy that we were together.

  His bedroom was huge and very comfortable, with walls covered in soft white leather. By my standards, it was fit for a king. While having a lie-in, you could enjoy the view of Lake Zurich through the panoramic windows. It was literally breathtaking. A picture featuring a man and a woman in an embrace hung on the wall above the bed.