Before Now (Sometimes Never)

  I close my eyes so I don’t have to look at her as I come. It’s fucked up, I know, but I don’t even remember her name. She’s just some girl that acted like she was better than me, so I brought her down to my level for a few hours.

  I’m not complaining about the wake-up call. I needed to get up anyway. I grab a handful of tissues—fucking pink—from her nightstand and clean myself up. As I shove my legs in my jeans, she wraps her hands around my waist from behind, and I cringe.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I have to go,” I say, detangling her pink polished fingers from my stomach. “Got shit to do. I’m already late.”

  “Oh.” She sighs and I can imagine the disappointed expression on her face. I don’t bother to look. Instead, I throw my shirt on and plop down on the edge of the bed to put my boots on. Her hands slide up my back and I have to force myself not to shake her off.

  “When do you think you’ll be done?”

  I laugh and shake my head. “Look…”

  “Piper,” she provides coolly.

  Piper. That’s it. “Piper, I had fun, but I’m not looking for a relationship.”

  Her teeth snap together and she stares at me. “Me either.”

  I laugh again, this time with bitterness. “Yeah, I’ve heard that before.” I kiss her cheek and push myself up. “Thanks for the wake and take. See ya later.”

  “Fuck you, Park.”

  I grin as I snatch up my keys. “You already did. Twice.”

  I duck out the door just as something shatters against the wall.

  ***

  I avoided the Saturday morning breakfast this past weekend. I also learned to avoid Monday afternoons after walking into the bathroom to find Lucy in her cut-off jean shorts and a tank top, bent over the bathtub scrubbing soap scum away. Apparently Jessie pays her to clean once a week. Now I make a mental note to add the laundry room on Wednesdays to my list of places to steer clear. She’s too tempting and I can’t afford to be tested.

  I almost walk back out when I see her folding towels in front of a dryer. She’s in another one of those long skirts, only she has one side pulled up and tucked into the waist. I have a great view of her crazy sexy legs and it physically hurts to look at her. She smiles as she pulls the headphones from her ears. “Hi Park. Haven’t seen you around lately.”

  I place my bag on a washer and scratch my neck. “I’ve been busy.”

  “You taking summer classes?”

  I turn my back to her and start dumping my clothes. “No.”

  “Been working?”

  “Yeah.”

  She gets quiet and I glance back at her. Her arms are folded in front of her, emphasizing her chest. When my gaze makes it back to her face, she narrows her gray eyes at me. “Are you going to be weird around me now or are you always like this?”

  Her fiery attitude catches me off guard and I grin at her. “Like what?”

  She shrugs her slim shoulders. “I don’t know…cold?”

  I chuckle. “That’s me in a nut shell.”

  “What are you out of the shell?”

  “This is it,” I say hoarsely. I don’t want her to know more. Hell, I honestly don’t know if there even is more.

  I stare at her, at her big eyes and full lips, contemplating throwing her on top of one of these washing machines. I don’t know what she sees when she looks at me, but there’s raw heat in her gaze, like she’s full of passion. Like she wants to see what I’m full of. Like she already can. And I want to be a part of it. I want to feel it.

  She licks those damn lips and I have to discretely adjust my jeans. If she wasn’t the forbidden fruit, I wouldn’t hide. I’d show her exactly how sexy I find her. I’d let myself feel something good for a little while.

  But she is forbidden.

  “Okay,” she relents. “So, I was thinking about making dinner for everyone—”

  “I have a gig tonight—”

  “—tomorrow.” She tucks her hair behind her ear. “Do you DJ with Jessie?”

  “No.” I turn back to my washer and pour in some detergent.

  “What do you do? You said gig.”

  “I sing.”

  She arches her brows. “In a band?”

  “No. I’m a wedding singer,” I deadpan. “Yes in a band. A Fool’s Paradise.”

  Realization colors her features and she squints at me. “Park…”

  “Yeah?”

  “No. Nothing.” She bites her lip and shakes her head like she knows better than to tell me what she was about to say. Now I really want to know.

  “What were you going to say, Lucy?”

  “Nothing. I just remembered you.”

  I cock a brow and move in front of her. “You remember me?”

  “Not you, just something…never mind.”

  “Oh. You’ve seen us play?” I chuckle. Our shows get pretty intense.

  She picks up her basket and backs away from me. “I’ll see you later.” She pauses, biting at her lip again. If she keeps that up, I’m going to start biting it for her. “You’ll come tomorrow? For dinner?”

  I hold her gaze. “Probably shouldn’t.”

  “That stuff with Jessie—it wasn’t about you. I just hate him acting like that. He thinks he’s my big brother. I’d like us to be friends. You should come.”

  “Friends?” I nearly spit the word. Fuck friends. I don’t need another friend.

  “Yeah.” She grins and adjusts the basket in front of her.

  I smirk at her and let my eyes graze over her body. “I don’t know how to be friends with someone I’m attracted to.” If she’s not going to listen to Jessie’s advice, I can at least be honest with her. And it is the truth. I have no clue how to be friends with a girl anymore.

  Her lips part and that stormy look glazes her eyes. “You’re attracted to me?”

  I nod, dropping the smirk because she looks sexy as hell shifting her feet nervously. “Can’t help it. You’re hot.”

  She rolls her eyes. “Well, learn to help it, Park, because I’m not the kind of girl that has one night stands. But I’m nice, and I’m a pretty loyal friend. I think you could use a good friend.”

  I swallow tightly as she shifts the basket on her hip and starts for the stairs. “Be there at six,” she calls.

  Fuck that. I’m not going.

  ***

  I roll over, my hand landing on something soft and warm. I squint one eye and try to focus on the girl in my bed.

  Motherfuckinggoddamnsonofabitchingshit. They are not allowed in my bed. I never bring them home. I always—always go to their place. I must’ve been beyond wasted last night. I hate this part. I hate trying to get rid of them. And now she knows where I live. Which means she can come back.

  I nudge her shoulder. Her short, dark hair spills into her face as she moves with my hand. “Hey. Wake up.”

  The girl opens her eyes and blinks at me. “What?”

  “You need to go,” I rasp.

  She closes her eyes and I’m afraid she’s going to fall back asleep. I poke her in the ribs. “Hey.”

  “I heard you. Gimme a minute. I’m still drunk.”

  I rub a hand over my face. Shit. So am I. “I’d let you stay, but my roommate will get pissed.”

  “Well we wouldn’t want to anger Jessie,” she says sarcastically.

  Wait. I’m too out of it to catch up. “You know Jessie?”

  She laughs, her eyes still closed. She points a long, slender finger at her chest. “Cousin.”

  You have got to be fucking shitting me. I let my head drop back on my pillow and stare up at the ceiling. No.

  No.

  I did not do this.

  I’m having some weird-ass dream.

  I did not have sex with Jessie’s cousin.

  I turn my head and she’s peering at me out of one eye. I am so screwed. Jessie’s going to kick my ass out on the street. Life lesson number 5: Don’t mess with your friend’s family. Especially the crazy ones.

/>   “I’ll be gone before he wakes up. He’ll never know. Now chill out and go back to sleep.”

  “No. You need to go. Now. I’ll pay for your cab.”

  She sighs heavily. “How gentlemanly of you.” She sits up, her naked body exposed to me. Yeah. I was wasted beyond belief. She’s anorexic skinny. Not something I’ve ever found attractive. I can see every ridge in her spine as she leans over to grab a cigarette.

  “You can’t smoke that in here. Jessie makes me smoke on the fire escape.”

  She rolls her eyes and tucks the cigarette behind her ear. I watch her get dressed, fighting the urge to help her so she can get the hell out of my room. “So…” She clears her throat and screws her lips to the side. “I’ll see you around.”

  I grab my wallet from the jeans on the floor and hand her two twenties, trying really hard not to acknowledge the fact that I’m paying a girl I just slept with. “Yeah. See ya.”

  She stops in front of the door. “Just so you know, you couldn’t…we didn’t…”

  “We didn’t?”

  She narrows her eyes at the hopeful connotation in my voice. I can’t help myself. I sigh with relief. “No. You were too drunk to get it up.” With that, she throws open the door and stomps down the hallway, not bothering to be quiet. When the front door slams, I fall back on my bed and into a sleepy oblivion.

  ***

  I step out of the shower, not bothering to dry off as I wrap a towel around my waist. Picking up my iPod, I open the door, letting the steam out, and pad back to my room.

  There’s a knock at the door and I cringe. My head is killing me, plus I’m pretty sure I already know who it is. I purposely locked the window after Jessie left for Lucy’s dinner. I stalk to the front door and fling it open, not bothering to mask my irritation. How am I supposed to avoid her when she searches me out?

  “What?”

  Lucy crosses her arms. “Why aren’t you in my apartment?” She looks past me, trying to see inside and I feel my lips lift in a crooked smile at her refusal to acknowledge I’m in nothing but a towel.

  “I’m not going,” I say. Her eyes drift back to mine and I can read the disappointment clearly in her gaze.

  “You’re being stubborn.”

  I rest my arm on the door frame above my head and lean toward her. She doesn’t react in any way and I grin at her. “I’m following orders.” I flick my eyes over her body, from her loose hippie braid, all the way down to her bright orange Converse. I smile at that. When I’ve made my way back to her face, she’s watching me take her in. She sighs and shifts her weight to her other side. I lean out further, deliberately moving closer than is necessary, but she doesn’t back up. It’s like she doesn’t register my bare chest, inches from hers. I’m trying to mess with her, but her indifference to me is making me want to up my game, and turning me on at the same time. That backfired like a motherfucker.

  “Jessie knows I invited you. He’s okay with it.”

  I drop my hand and step back. “He’s okay with it?” I ask, disbelieving.

  She nods and her gaze moves over my chest. About time. “Well, I told him and there’s nothing he can do about it.” To you, maybe.

  “Why are you pushing this? Why’s it so important to you?”

  “I don’t know. I like you, I guess.”

  I grin at her. “You like me?”

  She laughs and bites her lip. “I told you, I think we could be good friends.”

  “Oh, we could be great friends, Lucy,” I say, letting my smile turn animalistic. “But then I’d end up homeless.”

  “I’m serious.”

  I rest my hands on my hips, right above the towel. “So am I.”

  She growls at me. The sound sends a shot of need to all the right places and I have to force myself stay where I am. She talks so big about friendship, but I’m sure I could get her in bed if I actually put forth the effort. I bet I could run the tip of my tongue over that mole below her ear and make her whimper. I bet I could brush my fingers along the inside of her thigh and have her begging me to move higher. I bet—

  “Park,” Lucy breathes.

  I clear my throat and focus on her face. Damn she’s pretty. She’s got beautiful eyes. And that mouth—the things I’d love to do to it.

  “Park,” she hisses.

  “What?” I croak.

  “Stop looking at me like that.” Her cheeks are pink, her eyes glossy. Her chest is rising a little too quickly. She isn’t nearly as unaffected by me as she pretends. The girl’s just a damn good actress.

  “Looking at you like what?”

  “Like you’re thinking about me naked,” she says, her voice quivering.

  I stand up straight and shake my head. “This is why we can’t be friends.”

  She raises her hands and let’s them fall, slapping her thighs. “Fine. I don’t know why I even bothered.”

  I shrug. “I don’t know why you bothered either,” I say flatly and close the door in her face.

  5

  Lucy

  I almost drop my tray of drinks when I see Park sitting in the corner booth of my section. It’s been over a week since he slammed the door in my face and my stomach tightens at the sight of him.

  I don’t know what it is about him that draws me in. He’s an ass. He’s arrogant. He’s a slut. He’s also breathtakingly gorgeous and the way he looks at me makes my body react without permission or apology.

  With a deep breath, I drop the drinks off and head for his booth. He has his arm draped over some girl’s shoulder. She looks up at me with bloodshot eyes and I realize she’s drunk. This is why I hate the midnight shift. Every drunk wants greasy diner food after the bars close. I usually get happy or talky drunks, but there’s the occasional overly emotional drunk, the handsy drunk, or the mean drunk. She doesn’t look happy or talkative.

  I clear my throat. “Hey Park.” He looks up quickly and I see the surprise on his face.

  “You work here?” His voice is full of annoyance and I grind my teeth. The stench of liquor is heavy in the air. I am not in the mood for this.

  “Nope. I just decided to steal a uniform and walk around taking people’s orders.”

  He smirks at me, his eyes piercing. I turn to the girl. She’s watching me now, a scowl marking her features. I press my lips together and turn to the opposite side to address the others.

  Chase smiles. “Hey Lulu. How’s it going?”

  I grin. “Hey Chase. It’s going. Can I get you a drink?”

  “Yeah. I’ll have a Coke. And I actually know what I want.” He hands me his menu and I tuck it against my side. He opens his palms and shakes them a little. “I need a gigantic cheeseburger and crispy fries.”

  I laugh quietly. “I can do that.” I turn my attention to the girl next to him. She pushes her long, blonde hair behind her shoulder and leans closer to her menu.

  “I want a Sprite, but…do you have salads?”

  Chase groans. “You drive me insane, Annie. Get a freaking burger `cause you know you want one.”

  She leans back and looks sideways at him. “Fine,” she sighs. “I’ll have what he ordered.”

  I nod and reluctantly face the girl next to Park. “Same,” she says curtly.

  “Drink?” I keep my eyes on my notepad.

  “Do you serve beer?”

  “No.”

  She sighs loudly, as if I’m responsible for what the diner serves. “A Diet Coke then.”

  I finally raise my head to look at Park. He grins widely and his eyes rake over me from head to toe. It’s not like he hasn’t done that twenty times already, but accompanied by the shitty grin and leering eyes, it makes me feel dirty. I shift uncomfortably. “What do you want, Park?”

  He lifts a brow and somehow manages to smile bigger. “What I want isn’t on the menu.”

  I take a deep breath and meet his gaze with a glare. “So you’re not ordering?”

  He shakes his head slowly. “What’s good here?”

  I bi
te my lip and his eyes focus on my mouth. There’s a flutter in my stomach. I feel my cheeks warm and I look away. “The burgers are good. The chicken sandwich is all right. The buffalo strips are amazing. Or—”

  “Amazing?”

  “Yep.”

  His voice drops and runs over me like a caress. “Are they hot?”

  I close my eyes, but open them quickly and glance at him. “They’re spicy.”

  That smirk is back and he holds out his menu without taking his eyes off me. “I like spicy.”

  I clear my throat. “Do you want a drink?”

  “Milk.”

  I almost laugh. “Milk?”

  “Milk. It does the body good.” He winks and the girl next to him paws his bicep.

  “Hell yeah it does.” She scoots closer to him and I almost throw up in my mouth.

  “I’ll get your orders in right away,” I say and turn to leave. Chase catches my wrist causing me to pause.

  “Thanks, Lu,” he murmurs. He gives me a small smile.

  “Sure. No problem,” I chirp.

  I don’t know why I let Park get to me. I flirt all the time. Guys flirt back. The occasional girl, even. It’s all in fun. But he makes it—not fun. Either he has me wanting to abandon all my morals, or he has me cringing, feeling filthy and worthless. How he’s able to do that is beyond me. I don’t even know the man.

  The more I think about it, the angrier I get. I wipe the counter a little more forcefully than I need to. He has a girl right beside him, yet he flirts with me. He’ll be buried deep inside that walking disease as soon as they leave here, but he still finds the need to mess with my head.

  I take a cleansing breath and berate myself for assuming the worst about the girl with Park. She could be nice. I glance over and she glares at me before returning her attention back to whatever Park’s talking about.

  Okay, maybe she’s a bitch.