Heaven to Wudang

  ‘That much?’

  ‘It’s been obvious to everybody for a while now.’

  ‘Even Michael? While he was engaged to Clarissa?’

  ‘Except Michael. He had absolutely no clue.’

  ‘Wonderful.’

  Er Lang was waiting for us in the Throne Room; everybody else had left. He knelt before us, holding the red box.

  ‘Lady Xuan Wu. Lady Emma Donahoe. I bear an Edict from the Celestial One himself, may he live ten thousand times ten thousand years.’

  John and I both knelt and repeated the mantra. ‘Ten thousand times ten thousand years.’

  We all rose and Er Lang handed the box to John.

  ‘Your worst nightmare, eh, Rob?’ I said.

  ‘I’m not Lady Xuan Wu, I’m the Dark Lord still,’ John said. ‘And as soon as I am able to take some time away from my duties to rest,’ her voice became more pointed, ‘I will be returning to male form.’

  John passed the box to me and I took it to the coffee table and thumbed it open. I turned back; John and Er Lang were staring at each other. After what seemed like forever, Er Lang held his hand out.

  ‘It’s mightily good to have you returned, Ah Wu.’

  John grabbed Er Lang’s hand, held it clasped, and moved closer to hug him stiffly and thump him on the back as a comrade-in-arms. Er Lang thumped John on the back as well.

  ‘It’s good to be back, old friend,’ John said.

  I turned back to the Edict and rolled it open. John came up behind me and put her arm around my waist.

  I read the scroll out. ‘Bullshit bullshit, present yourself three days hence, blah blah blah, return to duties, bring Emma and Simone, formal transfer of title and position, more blahs, more formal bullshit, love the JE.’

  ‘Emma,’ John said mildly, ‘please show proper respect. You’ll break poor Er Lang’s brain.’

  ‘The Dark Lady,’ Er Lang said, ‘has already broken, shattered and destroyed my poor brain, and I completely deserved it.’

  ‘Ah, you’ve learnt how to deal with him then,’ John said.

  The reminder call hit us both.

  ‘We’re late,’ John said. She turned to Er Lang. ‘We’ve been summoned to Court Ten to bear witness at a hearing. Is there anything major that I need to deal with right at this moment?’

  ‘I saw what happened with those demons,’ Er Lang said. ‘Expect the rest of the Celestial on your doorstep in the next twenty-four hours demanding that you check for copies in their domains. Apart from that, things seem to be relatively quiet.’

  ‘Damn,’ John said. ‘Very well. I’ll catch up with you in a day or so and we can go through the current status.’

  Er Lang saluted John. ‘As you will, my Lord. And please, do hurry and get your head back.’

  John roared with laughter as Er Lang disappeared.

  ‘Your head?’ I said as she controlled herself and reached to take my hand.

  ‘My turtle head.’ She saw my confusion and pointed at her crotch. ‘That.’

  We landed outside Court Ten in the centre of the wheel of Hell, next to the lake that divided the Celestial side from the demonic.

  ‘Change to a more intimidating form,’ I said. ‘At least one of us should do this right.’

  She frowned. ‘I’ve half a mind to stay like this, and make myself shorter to match you, just to prove a point. We’re not required for this and have much more important things to deal with right now.’

  ‘Just do it,’ I said. ‘Michael’s life is in the balance.’

  ‘Being returned to the Wheel isn’t death … No, it is worse than death, actually. He has a chance to Ascend, and you’re right, we need to do our best.’

  She concentrated and grew to two metres tall. Her skin became darker, her face squarer, and her hair longer and more tangled. Her black Tang robes floated around her in a Celestial breeze that wasn’t there. She raised one hand, summoned Seven Stars in its scabbard, and slung it over her shoulder.

  I shook out my shoulders. ‘You should have woken me sooner; I would have put my armour on.’

  ‘Visualise your armour. Think hard about what it looks like,’ she said.

  She raised one hand towards me and her eyes glowed with darkness. My clothes changed to my armour over my black silk robe; she even pinned up my hair and put it into a spike.

  I summoned the Murasame and held it by its scabbard in my right hand. I nodded to John and we approached the court building together.

  I will need to sleep for a week when we get back home, she said, and it was strange to hear her speaking in her male voice.

  We walked side by side into the courtroom: John, huge and Celestial with her sword on her back; me, smaller in my armour and holding the Destroyer in my right hand. Judge Pao sat at his desk on his dais, his near-black face fierce as he gazed at us. Michael knelt on the stone floor in front of the dais, wearing the white cotton pants and shirt of a convict being tried.

  ‘My Lord Xuan Wu. Miss Donahoe. You have delayed these proceedings,’ Pao said.

  ‘My Lord Pao. Too bad,’ John said, not missing the lack of honorific towards me.

  There was a whisper of soft conversation around the courtroom and Judge Pao silenced it with a glare.

  I knelt and saluted the judge as a warrior with the sword in my hand. ‘Your esteemed Honour. We attend at your summons.’

  John silently stood her ground, waiting. I pulled myself to my feet and stood on her left to wait with her.

  Judge Pao was obviously enraged by our blatant disregard for protocol. He waved one hand at Michael. ‘This young son of the Tiger may be Worthy. Will you witness?’

  John gestured for me to step forward without looking away from Pao. They were staring each other down.

  ‘Prince Michael has distinguished himself with honour and valour in the service of the House of the North,’ I said. ‘He has acted with courage and protected the lives of both myself and Princess Simone, often to the cost of his own suffering. He is mightily Worthy.’

  ‘He is close on the balance of Worthiness with regard to his intentions and deeds,’ Judge Pao said. ‘However, he was only beginning to pursue the Way; he was young and impetuous and prone to poor judgement.’ He studied Michael, who didn’t look up from the floor. ‘He had attained no detachment, and was still bound by Earthly struggles.’

  ‘He shows wisdom beyond his years and courage beyond his limitations,’ John said. ‘He truly belongs on the Third Platform, with the opportunity to attain the Second.’

  Judge Pao studied Michael for a long time. ‘Raising one so young is unheard of. You both witness most favourably, but by all accounts he should be reattached to the Wheel.’ He raised his voice. ‘Prince Michael, son of the White Tiger, stand.’

  Michael rose, but he didn’t stand straight; he seemed defeated.

  ‘Give me one good reason why you should be Raised, sir,’ Judge Pao said.

  Michael stared at the judge for a long time, then put his hand on his hip and glared arrogantly at him. ‘I’m the best warrior Heaven’s ever seen. I’m the mightiest fighter on any Plane. I’m so damn good that you’d be doing yourself a favour to Raise me. Hurry up and do it so I can take my place in Heaven and show you what a real Immortal looks like.’

  Everybody present seemed to take a breath at the same time, and the courtroom went completely silent. John made a soft sound next to me. I glanced at her but her face remained impassive.

  ‘Your lies are painfully transparent, young man,’ the judge said. ‘It is obvious you do not wish to be Raised.’

  Michael gestured angrily towards Pao. ‘Don’t be ridiculous, of course I want to be Raised, you stupid old fuck! I’d heard you were thick, but this is ridiculous.’

  Judge Pao scribbled on the scroll in front of him. ‘I pass judgement. You have been judged Worthy, Lord Michael. Take your place among the Celestial, and rejoice.’ He banged his woodblock on the desk and rolled up the papers. ‘Next case.’

  Michael rais
ed his arms and stared down at himself as his convict clothes changed into a Tang robe embroidered with a huge gold and white tiger that spread from the back to the front.

  He glared up at Judge Pao. ‘What about my mother?’

  Judge Pao didn’t look up from the paperwork. ‘Who?’

  ‘My mother, Rhonda MacLaren. Dammit, she was Empress of the West when she died! What happened to her? She was judged Worthy. Why hasn’t she been given Immortality as well?’

  ‘Leave it, lad,’ John said. ‘We’ll discuss it later.’

  ‘I remember that case,’ Judge Pao said. ‘There was some consternation as to the nature of her demise.’ He glared at Michael. ‘She was never judged Worthy; the White Tiger, in his folly, decided to Raise her himself. Such an act is within his rights as Emperor of the West, but it was a separate case when she arrived here. She was judged unworthy and reattached to the Wheel.’

  ‘She was mightily Worthy!’ I said.

  ‘You have no jurisdiction here, madam,’ Judge Pao said.

  ‘She was my friend.’

  ‘As I said. I will not repeat myself.’

  ‘So that’s it?’ Michael said, suddenly looking small and abandoned in the centre of the courtroom. ‘My fiancée’s dead, my mother’s back on the Wheel, and I’m Immortal now, and alone?’

  ‘No Celestial is ever alone,’ Judge Pao said. ‘Rejoice, and return to your family.’

  ‘My family are dead!’

  ‘I’m highly tempted to revoke your status,’ Judge Pao said.

  ‘You can’t,’ Michael said. ‘I know how it works. Great.’ He turned to John and me. ‘Wonderful. Well, I achieved Immortality, Emma, looks like I can be your bodyguard now. Now, if you’ll forgive me, I need to find a quiet mountaintop where I can mourn my mother and the love of my life.’ He disappeared.

  ‘I really think you should have Raised Rhonda, she was such a fine, strong, smart woman,’ I said to Pao.

  ‘She had not made any attempt at all to find the Way,’ Judge Pao said. ‘I stand by my judgement. If I found all fine, strong, smart people Worthy, Heaven would collapse under the weight of them.’

  ‘What about me?’ I said.

  His expression softened slightly. ‘We shall see when it is time for you to be Judged.’

  ‘I hope I never am.’

  ‘Madam,’ he said, pushing the papers aside, ‘so do I.’

  Simone came charging through the courtroom doors, dragging with her the demon guards, who were attempting to stop her, one on each arm. She threw one hard to the ground so it landed on its back, and slammed the other into the wall, stunning it. She stormed up to Judge Pao and raised the jade stone the Jade Emperor had given her.

  ‘I have the Jade Emperor’s personal endorsement,’ she said. ‘You have to Raise Michael.’ She looked around. ‘Where is he?’ She turned back to Pao. ‘Is he down at the Room of Forgetting already? Stop him!’

  ‘Prince Michael has been found Worthy and Raised to the Celestial. And you will leave my courtroom,’ Judge Pao said. He glared at John. ‘Control your child.’

  ‘Where is he?’ Simone said, her voice echoing in the chamber.

  ‘He’s been Raised, but he’s gone to meditate for a while. Rhonda’s never coming back, and Clarissa’s dead,’ I said.

  Simone disappeared.

  ‘Next case,’ Judge Pao said. ‘Lord Xuan Wu, Lady Emma, clear the court so that the next defendant may stand.’

  ‘Come on, Emma, let’s go,’ John said, and took my hand.

  Back home on the Mountain, she fell to sit on the couch and returned to human form. ‘Simone’s looking for Michael, but I doubt she’ll find him.’ She sighed with feeling. ‘I would love to be a turtle in the heart of the Mountain and sleep for a week.’ She saw my face. ‘Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying here and in human form until this all blows over.’

  The stone interrupted. ‘Turtle, she hasn’t had anything to eat since breakfast, and it’s nearly dinnertime. Take her and feed her before she passes out; it’s extremely annoying when she does that.’

  ‘Ho fan?’ John said.

  ‘I’m not hungry,’ I said.

  ‘You will be once you eat something. The stone is right: you need to eat.’

  I followed her into the dining room. ‘I usually eat in the mess,’ I said as I pulled off my armour and yanked the spike out of my hair.

  ‘So do I,’ she said. ‘But you need some quiet time.’ She looked around. ‘How many household staff do you have here?’

  I hesitated, then said, ‘None. I use the general support staff to keep the place clean, but I sleep in the servants’ quarters, eat in the mess and work in my office.’

  ‘But this is your house as much as mine, and it’s criminal that it has no staff,’ she said. ‘You might as well have been living in a tent!’

  ‘John, I didn’t want to be in here at all without you, but they wouldn’t let me live anywhere else. Even Simone took apartments nearby so she wouldn’t have to be in the Emperor’s Residence without you.’

  She leaned back. ‘Oh.’ She took my hand. ‘That will change, Dark Lady.’

  She concentrated for a moment and a demon entered and set the table. Another came in with a steaming tureen of vegetarian dumpling ho fan with bright green baby bok choy floating in it.

  ‘You eat too,’ I said. ‘I think the last thing you ate was a bowl of cat food this morning.’

  She eyed the noodles with interest. ‘I think I just may.’

  The demon served the noodles into the bowls and passed them to us. It made us tikuanyin tea and then left us to it.

  ‘You are taking this remarkably well,’ she said.

  ‘I know. I’m surprising myself. The pain of the loss is made less by your return, I think.’ I leaned into her. ‘I’m just so damn glad you’re back.’

  Her head shot up. ‘Doorbell.’ She snapped back. ‘Ming and Yue wish to pay their respects. I’ll tell them to wait —’

  ‘Don’t make them wait, let them in.’

  Both of us stood to accept them as they entered. They fell to one knee in front of John.

  Martin spoke first. ‘My Lord, this small Shen welcomes you.’

  ‘Welcome back, my Lord,’ Yue Gui said.

  They rose again and Martin hugged John. ‘Welcome back, Mother,’ he said softly.

  Yue Gui gasped. Martin and John shared a horrified look, then all three of them quickly looked at me and just as quickly looked away.

  Realisation hit me between the eyes. ‘Wait. Stop. Wait! No way.’

  They shared a guilt-filled look and all three sat at the table. John ignored her noodles and concentrated on me.

  I pointed my finger at Martin. ‘You disgraced yourself six hundred years ago, but I don’t know how old you are. Ming Gui, exactly how old are you?’

  Martin shot a glance at John, and John nodded slightly. Martin turned back to me. ‘I am close on four thousand years old.’

  I dropped my finger. ‘That’s before he joined. Oh, dear Lord, the Turtle’s your mother.’

  Martin sat watching me placidly as if this was perfectly normal dinnertime conversation. ‘That is correct. The Xuan Wu Turtle is my mother.’

  John made a very small sigh of relief and relaxed slightly.

  ‘And the Serpent’s your father, isn’t it?’

  ‘Shit,’ John said softly.

  I stared at John. ‘You’re both his parents.’

  She nodded once, her expression grim.

  I stood up and moved to the other side of the room. ‘I’m used to you being strange, John, but this … this is unbelievable. You’ve fathered a child on yourself.’ I turned to see her; her face was full of misery. ‘Wait here. I need to go for a walk.’

  I left without saying another word and walked all the way around the Mountain on the training track.

  At the track’s highest point it had a stunning view of the Mountain complex, from the domiciles and villas on the western side, throug
h to the Yuzhengong central complex, to the administrative and support buildings on the eastern side, all nestled against the flanks of the Seven Peaks. The students weren’t out practising as they normally would be; they were still recovering from the aftermath of the attack. I could see small groups of people dealing with the corpses, and collecting as much as they could of the remains of the demon copies for further study.

  John appeared next to me and leaned on the railing, also studying the Mountain complex.

  ‘You kept that a secret from me,’ I said. ‘You were worried it would freak me out.’

  ‘It did,’ she said, without looking away from the view.

  ‘I asked Martin about his mother once and he dodged the question.’

  ‘It is his information to do with as he wishes. He generally prefers not to share it. A long time ago he was accused of being the issue of an incestuous relationship.’

  ‘The Turtle’s female.’

  ‘The Turtle is an Essence. It is either gender, and normally I don’t even bother about it. It just happens. In the last thirty years or so, it has been male.’

  I turned to see her. ‘What pisses me off the most is that both of you decided not to tell me.’

  She smiled slightly. ‘And you hate it when anybody keeps a secret from you.’

  ‘Anyone I love.’

  ‘The information has no bearing on our relationship as it is right now. Martin prefers not to divulge it. We did the right thing.’ She turned to face me, still leaning on the railing. ‘I was once two separate creatures. These two mated and produced issue. Then they joined and became one creature, one mind, one sentience. That creature gained a human form and was Raised to the Celestial. That joined creature, in human form, is me.’

  ‘That creature was demonic.’

  ‘It was, yes.’

  ‘The stone won that bet, by the way. You lost. You owe us your shell.’

  ‘It is already yours.’

  I leaned on the rail and put my head in my hands. ‘God, you’re weird, John.’

  She put her hand on my back; a light touch. ‘I think you like it.’

  ‘I’m exhausted. What a hell of a day.’