Love Letters: A Rose Harbor Novel

  “Your father was all those things, too,” Virginia whispered, her voice tightening.

  Ellie tensed. “So I should be cautious, right?”

  “No,” her mother protested. “Well, yes, you should be cautious, but then you should do that with any man you meet. What I meant was that it’s very easy to fall in love with a man when he’s all the things you mentioned.”

  “But there’s a dark side to him, too,” Ellie murmured, not wanting to hear yet another forewarning, “one that most likely won’t show itself until after we’re married.”

  “Ellie, sweetheart, quit putting words in my mouth. I didn’t mean to imply anything of the sort.”

  “But you were thinking it.” Ellie was only voicing the very comment her mother had made previously when she’d first learned about Ellie’s growing relationship with Tom.

  “Well, yes,” her mother confirmed. “Everyone has faults, and character weaknesses. When we first meet others we tend to put our best foot forward, so to speak. I’m sure you did, and Tom, too. You both want to make a good impression, right?”

  Ellie had no option but to agree.

  “It’s only later that our faults become apparent.”

  “And by then you’re married and pregnant and you’re stuck in a relationship that makes you miserable and he doesn’t understand your needs or love you the way you feel you deserve to be loved and you’re so unhappy you don’t know if you will survive,” Ellie said in one long breath, stopping only when she needed to breathe again.

  A shocked silence reverberated from the other end of the line. “You’re putting words in my mouth again.”

  “What I’m doing, Mom, is repeating all the warnings you’ve given me through the years.”

  “I said all that?” Virginia asked, sounding as if she found it impossible to believe.

  “That and more.” The truth was, Ellie had heard the story of how her father had done the family wrong so often she could repeat it verbatim.

  “Oh dear,” Virginia murmured in a rush, as though stunned.

  “Can I go now?” Ellie had fulfilled her obligation and called to reassure her mother. It was late and she’d had a long day.

  “Well, yes, of course,” Virginia said, with such deep disappointment that Ellie felt instantly guilty. “But you really didn’t answer any of my questions,” her mother added.

  “It’s late, Mom.”

  Her mother hesitated. “Is there something you don’t want me to know about Tom?” she asked, in a gentle way that lent itself toward expressing confidences. “I am your mother, and, sweetie, there isn’t anything you can’t tell me. Did he try to get you into bed?”

  “Mom, no. He’s not like that. You raised me, so why don’t you trust my judgment?”

  “I do, but when I met Scott my head was in the clouds. All common sense deserted me and—”

  “And then it was too late.”

  “Eleanor, please don’t.”

  Her mother’s tone told Ellie she was quickly growing impatient with her, but Ellie couldn’t make herself stop. For once she refused to allow her mother’s unfortunate past to cloud her own future. “Good night, Mom,” she said, letting her know the conversation was over. She’d done her duty as a daughter, and while she loved and respected her mother, she was more than ready to become her own woman and make her own decisions.

  “Good night, sweetie,” she said, and then, as if she had to know, she rushed the question, “Are you seeing Tom tomorrow?”

  What did her mother think? Ellie hadn’t come this far to spend the weekend in her room reading a romance novel, although she often devoured books in the genre.

  “Yes, Mom, I’m seeing Tom on Saturday.” And then, for shock value, she added, “He’s taking me boating on Puget Sound.”

  Her mother sucked in a breath. Ellie paused, awaiting a tirade of dire warnings, but thankfully, and to her amazement, none came.

  “You aren’t going to remind me of how many people drown every year?” she asked, half in jest. This was commonly how her mother approached the subject of Ellie being on the water.

  “No. Tom’s boat has life jackets, doesn’t it?”

  “Mom!”

  “Okay, sorry, you’re right. You’re an adult and capable of taking care of yourself.”

  “Thank you!” The least her mother could do was credit her with some intelligence. Ellie had never been a daredevil and had no desire to drive fast cars, leap out of airplanes, or go bungee jumping. Probably the most dangerous task she’d ever undertaken was opening a tin can with a handheld opener!

  “Will you be out on the water all day?”

  “No. In the afternoon, Tom said he has a surprise for me.”

  “What kind of surprise?”

  “It wouldn’t be a surprise if I knew what it was, would it?”

  Her mother gave a small, halfhearted laugh. “You’re right, it wouldn’t.”

  “Night, Mom.” Hadn’t she wished her mother that once already?

  “Night.” Her mother’s voice was heavy with reluctance.

  At the last moment, Ellie thought of something important she wanted to say. “Mom,” she said urgently.

  “Yes, honey.” How eager she sounded, how excited.

  Ellie felt a little uneasy with the fib. “I thought you should know I’ll be out of cell phone coverage all day.”

  That laugh again. “Very funny, Ellie.”

  “I’m serious, Mom.”

  “Okay, message received. I’ll wait for your call and I won’t bother you.”

  Ellie was grateful. “I appreciate that. Now, for the third time, good night.”

  “Good night.”

  Ellie ended the call before she or her mother found yet another reason to stay on the line. As she went to plug her phone into the charger, she noticed another text message. If it was from her mother, Ellie would be tempted to scream.

  Instead, the text was from Tom. Thank you for a lovely night. Morning can’t come soon enough.

  It couldn’t come fast enough for Ellie, either! Her phone alarm woke her at seven, and it felt like she’d been asleep only a few minutes. As happy and excited as she’d been, it’d taken her a long time to fall asleep. Her inclination was to pull the sheet over her shoulders and go back to sleep. She might have given in to the temptation until she remembered Tom would be picking her up in less than two hours.

  Leaping out of bed, she headed for the shower, eager to dig into her day. Another day with Tom.

  By the time she’d showered, dressed, and fussed with her hair—and fuss she did—breakfast was ready.

  With a smile as bright as the August morning, Ellie practically floated down the stairs. She wore a pair of cropped white pants and a blue-and-white loose-fitting tank top with a blue pair of Toms shoes. She hoped Tom would find it amusing that she’d chosen that brand of shoes. Then, in case it was chilly on the water, she brought along a white cotton cardigan, which she had draped over her shoulders.

  She found Jo Marie in the kitchen.

  “I’m not early, am I?”

  “Not at all,” the innkeeper assured her. “Are you ready for a cup of coffee?”

  “More than ready.” Ellie didn’t feel like herself in the morning until she had a cup of coffee.

  “There’s fresh-squeezed orange juice set out on the table, along with blueberry muffins.”

  “My favorite,” Ellie said, heading in that direction. Happy as she felt, she nearly skipped into the other room.

  “I’m fixing cream cheese–stuffed French toast this morning,” Jo Marie called out after her.

  “Juice and muffins are all I need,” Ellie said. It wasn’t a good idea to go out on Puget Sound with a full stomach. She wasn’t sure if she was prone to seasickness or not, but it wasn’t worth taking the chance.

  After a couple moments, Jo Marie joined her in the breakfast room. “I suspect the Porters won’t be down for quite some time yet,” she said.

  Ellie sat and poured her
self a glass of orange juice.

  “Did everything go well last night?” Jo Marie asked.

  Ellie couldn’t have held back a smile any more than the little Dutch boy could have held back the water from a leak in the dam. “It was an amazing night. After dinner we went to a movie and then we walked along the waterfront and went for coffee at the Pancake Palace and talked and talked and talked. We’ve spent part of nearly every day communicating in one form or another; you’d think there wouldn’t be much left for us to say.”

  “But you did?”

  “Yes. It shocked us both when we saw it was midnight.”

  A faraway look came over the innkeeper, as if her thoughts had drifted to another time and another place. “It was like that when Paul and I first met.”

  Ellie remembered hearing, although she couldn’t remember who’d mentioned it, that Jo Marie was a widow. Perhaps it was the handyman she’d chatted with briefly the day before.

  “So you know what it’s like to meet someone and know right away that he might possibly be the one?” Ellie asked.

  Jo Marie nodded. “I do. Paul and I met at a Seahawks game.”

  “Do you enjoy watching football?” Ellie asked. She had never been excited about the sport until she’d learned that Tom had played football in high school and college. He was on the wait list to get Seahawks season tickets. It went without saying that if their relationship continued—and she prayed it would—she’d need to learn the basics of the game. Already Tom had volunteered to tutor her.

  “Both Paul and I were football fanatics,” Jo Marie said, and then, as if it was painful to talk about the husband she’d lost in Afghanistan, she changed the subject.

  “The Sounders are Seattle’s soccer team, and a lot of folks attend those games as well. I’ve never been, but I’ve heard it’s quite an experience.”

  While talking over coffee the night before, Tom had mentioned the Sounders and his hope that one day they’d be able to see a game together. Ellie was willing to give it a try, never having attended a professional sporting event.

  “Tom’s athletic,” Ellie said, taking the first bite of her muffin. It was delicious, far and away better than any she’d ever tasted. “Wow, these are great.”

  “Oh thanks. I got the recipe from a friend of mine, Peggy Beldon. The blueberries came from her garden, which reminds me, I need to pick up blueberries at the farmers’ market today.”

  Ellie would love to visit the market, with its booths displaying homemade crafted goods, fresh fruit, and vegetables. She hoped they’d be back in time from their boating trip so she’d get the chance. She’d ask Tom about it.

  Glancing out the window, Ellie saw Tom’s car pull into the parking area by the inn. She looked at her watch and saw that he was a few minutes early, which told her he was as eager to see her as she was to see him.

  Rover must have heard the car door close, because the dog hurried to the front door.

  “It’s Tom,” Ellie explained. “He’s a bit early.”

  “Invite him in for breakfast,” Jo Marie told her. “I’ve got plenty.”

  What a thoughtful thing to do. “I will, thank you.”

  Tom hadn’t made it up the front steps before Ellie opened the door. For just an instant they stood and stared at each other as if even now it was impossible to believe they were together.

  He broke the trance first. “Morning.”

  “Good morning. Come on in. Jo Marie invited you to have coffee and a blueberry muffin. They’re really good.”

  “Great. I was in such a rush to get here and didn’t take time to eat breakfast.”

  Ellie had felt that same happy anticipation.

  Tom joined her at the table, and she noticed that he had dark lines beneath his eyes. “Didn’t you sleep well?” she asked.

  “I didn’t,” he admitted. “I was up practically the entire night.”

  “Is something troubling you?” she asked.

  His smile seemed forced as he shook his head. “Not a solitary thing.” Then he wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and touched her forehead to his own.

  Something was troubling him, something he didn’t want to tell her, and Ellie didn’t have a single clue what it might be.

  Chapter 13

  Roy was still asleep when Maggie woke Saturday morning. Their argument from the afternoon before kept circling in her mind. Years ago, while they were college students, Roy had written her a love letter. She’d kept it all these years and reread it from time to time. His letter had been the turning point in their courtship.

  At the time they’d been dating steadily and were deeply in love. Maggie could easily see them marrying one day after she graduated. Roy had met her parents and she’d met his. The future seemed pretty much decided for them. Then Roy had gone out with some friends from his frat house. He’d told her it was a poker match and that he needed “guy time.”

  It wasn’t a big deal until pictures of Roy with a couple of nearly naked women had turned up on the Internet. Apparently, there’d been very little card playing that night, and then through the grapevine Maggie learned that this little “get-together” with the guys had happened at a local strip club. And it wasn’t the first time.

  As far as Maggie was concerned, the incident settled their future. Roy wasn’t the man she’d thought he was. When the Internet photos made the rounds on campus, Maggie had been deeply embarrassed and equally saddened. She really didn’t feel she could marry a man who got his thrills in strip clubs. The fact that he’d lied to her about what he’d be doing raised a huge red flag.

  They’d argued. Roy claimed it was all in fun and didn’t mean anything. As for the lie, it was a little white one he told so she wouldn’t get upset. In actuality, he was protecting her. It didn’t mean anything; he was letting off steam after cramming for his finals. He downplayed his role as if it meant nothing and she was making an unnecessary fuss. His friends weren’t having problems with their girls, so Maggie should be willing to let it go, too. Yes, the photos were embarrassing, but all the hoopla would die down soon enough.

  Maggie had been shocked by his attitude. He simply didn’t get it. In his eyes, he’d done nothing wrong. It was all supposed to be in fun. His rationalization had stunned her. Rather than argue, she knew what she had to do, and that was to end the relationship. To that point, it was the hardest decision she’d ever made. With tears in her eyes, she broke up with Roy.

  At first he didn’t believe she meant it. He sent her flowers and met her after class, sang to her in public, and bought her a huge teddy bear. It took almost a month for him to realize she was serious. It about killed her to walk away, but she felt she had no choice. Roy had showed her a side of himself that she could never condone or accept.

  Then Roy’s letter arrived. He didn’t use flowery language or attempt to convince her to reconsider their breakup. He’d basically written to say good-bye.

  Dear Maggie,

  I hope you’ll read this letter. It’s taken me nearly a month to write it. I’ve forgotten what version this is, not that it matters. What is important is that you believe me when I tell you that I mean every word.

  When you broke up with me, I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t sure what I thought. You were angry. I understood that. Frankly, I was angry, too. Those pictures embarrassed me, but I didn’t let anyone know because it was too important for me to be cool about it. So I pretended it wasn’t any big deal, only it was. It was a very big deal.

  It took me a couple weeks to realize you were serious about breaking up with me. We were finished. That made me angry, too, and then sad and sick with what I knew I’d lost. I wasn’t easy to live with during that time. In fact, if it wasn’t so close to graduation, I think I might have gotten kicked out of my fraternity.

  You’re well aware of everything I did to get you to change your mind. You stood by your word, though, and that took courage and determination on your part. I assumed, at first, that you were simply being stubb
orn. It took me far longer than it should have to realize there was much more involved than your pride.

  When all my efforts to convince you to take me back failed, I was at a loss. It was time for soul searching. I spent a lot of time in my room, basically feeling sorry for myself, before it hit me what you’d been trying so hard to get through this thick head of mine.

  You love me … loved me, past tense. I screwed that up for good and I don’t have anyone to blame but myself. I know you’ve moved on and are dating other guys now and I accept that. It’s what I deserve.

  The point of this letter is to say I get it now. I understand why you made the decision you did, and I realize it couldn’t have been any easier for you than it was for me. I lied to you about where I was and what I was doing. Not just that one night but multiple times. It’d seemed innocent enough. What you didn’t know wouldn’t hurt you. I was with the guys and we were doing what guys do, which is stupid, I know. But it’s far more than me misleading you into believing I was playing poker. It’s a matter of character. You expected more of me and I failed us both.

  In a few days I’ll graduate and be leaving WSU to join my dad in his construction business. Thank you for everything, Maggie, and I mean that. You’ve encouraged me to be a better man, a man of integrity and principle. The kind of man who would make a good husband and father, the kind of man you deserve. You are wise not to accept anyone less.

  These have been painful lessons because of the high price I paid to learn them. They cost me losing you.

  It’s unlikely that we will see each other again, and that’s probably for the best. And while it’s hard to accept your decision, I want to thank you. It might not mean anything to you now, but it’s important that you know I genuinely love you. I will always love you. If at any time you need help, I’ll come. You can count on me.

  If you’ve gotten this far in reading my letter, then I want to thank you for taking the time.

  Good-bye, my love.

  Forever yours,

  Roy

  When the letter had first arrived, Maggie had read it through four or five times without stopping, taking in every word, soaking it into her heart. Then she’d started to weep. Her friends didn’t know what had happened or what Roy could have said to cause this reaction. He had no idea how miserable she’d been, how heartbroken. Maggie had contacted him and they had sat in Starbucks for two hours talking. Following their talk, Maggie felt that Roy had been sincere. He’d meant what he’d said in his letter. Even then, Maggie wasn’t sure reconciling would be right for either of them, and said so. When they left the Starbucks, they’d gone in opposite directions. As she left Roy, Maggie had a change of heart. She loved Roy and he loved her. She wanted them to try again. By the time she reached Roy, she was astonished to find that he had tears in his eyes. He didn’t speak, and she didn’t, either. They simply reached for each other and hugged, both weeping, overwhelmed with emotion. By the end of the summer, following graduation, they were engaged.