Love Letters: A Rose Harbor Novel

  The Bremerton ferry docked on the Seattle waterfront and Roy followed the line of cars that motored off the boat. Within a matter of minutes he located a parking lot only a few blocks away from the dock.

  The secret of what Maggie had discovered weighed on her like the heaviest of yokes. She didn’t know how she was going to get through the day, let alone the rest of this getaway weekend. The next eight months seemed like an eternity.

  He paid for the parking with his credit card, set the slip on his dashboard, and then reached for her hand. It’d been a long time since they’d held hands. Instinctively, Maggie knew he wouldn’t be nearly this caring or loving when he discovered she was pregnant.

  “Where shall we head first?” Roy asked.

  “I don’t know,” she said, and smiled at him, hoping he wasn’t paying too close attention to her. Her mouth trembled slightly with the effort to appear happy and carefree. “What interests you?”

  “Let’s visit the market,” he suggested.

  “Sure.” Pike Place Market was a staple for anyone visiting Seattle, right along with the Space Needle, the monorail, the waterfront, and the aquarium.

  “I hope we get to see one of the fishmongers toss a salmon,” Roy said, and gently squeezed her hand.

  They made the climb up the steps leading from the waterfront to First Avenue, stopping now and again at vendor stalls along the Hill Climb. The market was a mixture of fresh fish, garden-ripened vegetables, myriad floral bouquets, figurines made from ash from the volcanic eruption of Mount Saint Helens, and just about everything else. Roy purchased a jar of honey, and Maggie found a photo of the Space Needle in the middle of an electric storm. The camera captured a bolt of lightning just as it struck the Needle. She was instantly drawn to it because that was how she felt, as if she, too, had been struck. But like the Space Needle, she would withstand this lightning bolt.

  The original Starbucks was directly across the street from the market, so they stopped in for a latte, decaf for her, and picked up a pound of cheese from a local cheesemaker, along with a loaf of bread and fresh green grapes.

  “We’ll feast later,” Roy promised.

  Once they’d deposited their goods in the car, Roy said, “Okay, what next?”

  With her mind in turmoil, Maggie couldn’t think of a single thing to do. “I … I don’t know.”

  “There’s so much to choose from,” Roy said, and looped his arm around her shoulders. “Would you like to have lunch at the Space Needle?”

  “Do you think we could get a table without a reservation?” Notwithstanding the very real possibility she wouldn’t be able to hold food in her stomach.

  “Good point.” Roy turned toward the waterfront.

  The day was amazing. The sun was out, and the area was alive with activity. A boat pulled a parasailer, with a parachute the colors of the American flag. Sailboats sliced through the green waters of Puget Sound. White-and-green ferries hauled cars and passengers to a number of islands that dotted the Sound. A Ferris wheel was a recent addition, and the line of tourists waiting for a ride was amazingly long.

  “What about a tour of Underground Seattle?” Roy suggested.

  “Seattle has an underground?”

  Roy nodded. “I read a brochure about it on the ferry. Apparently, Seattle had a large fire in 1890 and most of the buildings in town burned to the ground. When the city was rebuilt, the local government decided to elevate the waterfront area by one floor because of flooding problems with the change in tides.”

  Maggie vaguely remembered reading about the Seattle fire years ago in her Washington State history class. “And there are underground tours now?”

  “That’s what the brochure said.”

  Still, Maggie wasn’t sure. “Is there anything to see … I mean, if the city burned down, what was left?”

  “I can’t say, but I think it might be worth checking into, don’t you?”

  “Sure, if that’s what you’d like to do,” she said, but at this point she was willing to agree to anything in order to keep her husband’s mind occupied. Roy could so easily read her that it wouldn’t take much for him to realize that something was terribly wrong.

  Her husband pulled the brochure from his hip pocket and opened it across the hood of their vehicle for her to read. “It says here that we purchase the tickets in Pioneer Square.” The brochure also listed the times of the tours.

  Roy checked his watch. “We’ll have plenty of time. It’ll be fun just to walk around a bit and explore the city.”

  “It will,” Maggie agreed.

  They headed in the direction of Pioneer Square. Roy was in a talkative mood. Maggie did her best to pay attention, but her mind drifted to what she was going to do about this pregnancy. Sooner or later, she’d need to tell Roy. But when? If she held off as long as she could, she feared he’d think of it as an even greater betrayal. If she let him know right away, it would ruin this newfound communication and recommitment to each other. After weeks of this horrible tension between them, Maggie yearned to hold on to his love and goodwill for as long as possible.

  “… What do you think?” Roy asked.

  The first part of what her husband said was completely lost on her. “Sorry, I didn’t hear that.”

  “My goodness, Maggie, you seem preoccupied. Is everything all right?”

  “It’s fine. Wonderful.” She pasted on another big smile.

  “You’re not feeling sick again, are you?”

  “Not in the least.”

  “Good.” His leaned over and kissed her.

  Pioneer Square wasn’t nearly as busy as the market or the waterfront area. Small cafés and restaurants outlined the square.

  “That must be close to where the Seahawks play,” Roy said, pointing toward CenturyLink Field. “I’m hoping to get us tickets for a game this year.”

  “I’d like that,” Maggie said.

  “One day I’ll take the boys.”

  “Give them a couple years so they can fully appreciate it.” At the price of the tickets, plus the three-hour drive from Yakima, it became an expensive weekend excursion.

  “They’ll love it,” Roy said. “Now that the kids are five and three, it’s a whole new world. Before long, they’ll both be in school.”

  “Let’s not rush it,” she said, thinking that there were more diapers in their future, only Roy didn’t know it yet. And she wasn’t about to mention the pregnancy now.

  “You said not long ago that you might look for a part-time position once Collin is in school.”

  “I will,” Maggie said, and silently realized that that, too, would now be delayed for a few years. Unless she was forced to find a job in order to support herself … if she was no longer married. It was one thing to seek her husband’s forgiveness for an indiscretion but another to expect him to love, accept, and raise a child that might not be his. A chill went down her arms at the thought of Roy leaving her. She swallowed a sob, which caught Roy’s attention.

  “Sweetheart?”

  She managed another phony smile. If she made it through this day without giving herself away, it would be a miracle.

  “Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” he asked, looking concerned.

  “It’s just that I’m a little overwhelmed by everything.”

  He frowned, as if he found that hard to believe.

  They purchased the tickets for the Underground Seattle tour and then, because they had almost an hour to wait, Roy suggested they eat lunch. The restaurant he chose seemed to have a wide selection of entrées.

  “No more fish and chips for you,” her husband teased.

  “I’m more in the mood for soup,” Maggie said.

  “Soup?” her husband repeated, and seemed surprised.

  Then Maggie remembered that when she was pregnant with both boys the only thing she’d been able to keep down the first few months was soup. It wouldn’t take much for him to put two and two together.

  “On second thought, the crab cakes
sound good.” They didn’t, but she needed to steer him away from any suspicion that she might be pregnant. Somehow she’d manage to keep the crab down.

  The waiter came for their order and Roy asked for a French dip. Oh dear, this was going to be difficult. The smell of cooked beef always caused her problems when she was pregnant. It might not have been as bad before she had proof positive, but every symptom she’d ever suffered was sure to make itself apparent now.

  When she looked up, Maggie noticed the waiter was ready to take her order. “The Dungeness crab cakes,” she said.

  “Excellent choice,” he said, as he wrote it down and left them.

  Roy’s phone rang and he automatically reached for it. Maggie froze, fearing it was Katherine. She already knew that the other woman hadn’t taken kindly to having their relationship abruptly severed and had tried a couple times to reach Roy.

  “Who is it?” she asked.

  His gaze met hers, and his look told Maggie that her suspicions were well grounded.

  “Don’t worry, I’m not going to answer it.”

  “I thought you blocked her number.”

  “I did, but she isn’t calling from her cell. This is the landline from her house.” He pinched his lips together, revealing his disapproval. “I don’t know when she’s going to get the message; we’re finished. I’m sorry, sweetheart, but you know it’s over, right?”

  Maggie believed him and then was left to wonder if her news would drive him back to Katherine’s more-than-willing arms.

  As soon as the call went to voice mail, Roy spent a few minutes on his phone, blocking the other woman’s home number.

  “I don’t want you to have a single doubt about my commitment to you,” he said, reaching across the table and gripping hold of her fingers with his own. “I feel better about us than I have in months. I don’t know what I was thinking ever getting involved with her.”

  Maggie looked away. “Thank you for loving me,” she whispered.

  “I’ll always love you, Maggie. I knew it when we were in college, which is one reason I wrote that letter. I’m glad you kept it all these years.”

  “Me, too. I love you … I’ll always love you, Roy. Always. No matter what happens in the future. Remember that, okay?” Moisture filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks before she could keep them at bay. Maggie quickly wiped the tears away. “Look at me, getting all emotional,” she said, attempting to laugh at herself.

  It seemed Roy was about to say something more when the waiter returned with their entrées. “Enjoy,” he said.

  Maggie took one look at Roy’s sandwich and nearly gagged. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything. Then, as if he hadn’t eaten in weeks, Roy wolfed down his lunch while she picked at her crab cakes.

  The waiter noticed her lack of appetite when he came to clear away their plates. “Was there something wrong with the entrée, Miss?” he asked.

  Maggie assured him with a quick shake of her head. “I guess I wasn’t as hungry as I thought.”

  He removed her plate, and Maggie made a show of looking at her wrist. “It’s just about time for the tour,” she said, more than grateful for the distraction.

  Roy stood and paid their tab. Then, together, they walked over to where a small group of tourists had assembled, awaiting the tour.

  The guide collected their tickets and then led them through a restaurant and down the stairs to the underground area.

  As Maggie suspected, there wasn’t a whole lot to see, but the guide was full of stories regarding Seattle’s early history, telling anecdote after anecdote that had the group entertained and laughing.

  “That was great,” Maggie heard the woman in front of her comment as they left the tour.

  “Really good,” someone else said.

  “What did you think?” Maggie asked Roy.

  “It was okay.”

  “Roy, it was wonderful.” Like the others, Maggie had been amused and educated at the same time. And, bless her, the guide had helped Maggie keep her mind off how unsettled her stomach felt.

  “I think it’s time we got back to the inn,” Roy surprised her by suggesting.

  “Are you sure? We still have time to visit the Seattle Center if you like.”

  “Another time,” he said. “Is that all right with you?”

  “It’s fine; whatever you want.” She didn’t know why she protested. Getting back to the inn was exactly what she wanted. She yawned once, feeling like she needed a nap. If she fell asleep in the car on the drive back, Roy was sure to guess. She never took naps … unless she was sick or pregnant.

  They walked back to the parking lot, and she noticed that once more Roy reached for her hand the way he had earlier in the day. She chanced a look in his direction but couldn’t read his thoughts. Testing the waters, she offered him a tentative smile.

  He smiled back.

  Her relief was instantaneous. She could keep her secret a little bit longer.

  “What if I buy us a bottle of wine?” Roy suggested. “We can have the cheese, bread, grapes, and wine on the lawn at the inn. That would be a perfect way to end our afternoon, don’t you think?”

  “It’s a lovely idea.” Maggie would find a convenient excuse to avoid the wine. She’d always watched her diet whenever she was pregnant, and she wouldn’t do anything less this time.

  “Shall we drive back instead of the ferry?”

  That had been their original plan.

  “Sure, and stop at the car museum in Tacoma?” Her husband’s look was hopeful.

  Maggie smiled and nodded. She’d never paid that much attention to cars, but they were a passion with Roy, who subscribed to a number of car magazines.

  Finding their way to the freeway seemed a challenge, but once they were on the main thoroughfare, Maggie relaxed and, despite her best effort, found herself drifting off to sleep.

  She shook herself awake and found Roy studying her. “My goodness, what’s wrong with you?” he asked. “You’ve slept more this weekend than you have in the last two years. This last month has been stressful, hasn’t it?”

  Maggie agreed. “It has.”

  “Well, you’ll get a chance to catch up now. We’ve weathered this storm, Maggie girl, and our marriage is stronger for it, don’t you think?”

  What Roy didn’t know was that they had even deeper waters to traverse. Nor did he realize that they were about to get caught up in hurricane-force winds.

  Chapter 20

  Ellie hurried to where she’d agreed to meet her father. Her head was spinning as questions hurled themselves at her so quickly it was all she could do to keep focused on where she was walking. Excitement mingled with anxiety about what she would say to this man who was her father and yet a stranger.

  In his text message back to her, Tom had suggested the Pot Belly Deli as a good place for Ellie to meet with Scott. It was close and convenient. Looking at the street map provided by Jo Marie, she noticed the deli was next to the hair salon where she’d been the day before. The salon appointment reminded Ellie of everything she had done to impress Tom and the chance she’d taken meeting him. Yet all she’d meant to him was the means to an end. She was just a charity project, a gift for his stepfather.

  Seeing that it was the middle of the afternoon, the lunch crowd had already eaten and it was too early for dinner, so there were plenty of empty tables. They would have the privacy they needed. This would be the first time in her life that she’d have the opportunity to talk to the man responsible for her birth, the first time she’d have a chance to hear his side of what had happened in her parents’ marriage.

  Scott was seated in a booth when she arrived at the deli. He looked up, saw it was her, and offered her what could only be described as a tentative, guilt-ridden smile. As she approached the table, he stood. Ellie glanced around the room to be certain Tom wasn’t anywhere close by. She remained angry and upset by his deception, and while she was willing to meet with her father, she wasn’t ready to deal with Tom. r />
  As it was, her nerves were stretched to the snapping point seeing Scott Reynolds.

  “Thank you for agreeing to meet with me,” he said. He looked as nervous as Ellie felt. He folded his hands on the tabletop as if unsure what to do with them. Before she realized what she was doing, Ellie reached for a fork and ran her fingers down the handle. Embarrassed, she set it aside.

  Her mouth had gone dry, so she said nothing.

  Neither spoke. Scott studied Ellie for a long moment. “You look like your mother,” he said, gazing at her so intently that Ellie was forced to look away.

  The waitress came, and they both ordered coffee.

  As soon as the woman left, Scott returned his attention to her. “How is your mother?”

  “She’s well.”

  “I imagine you’re angry with me.”

  Actually, her anger was directed at Tom. She had yet to form an opinion of Scott. Part of her wanted to reach out and hug him and another part wanted to shout at him in fury for the years he’d ignored her.

  “Tell me,” she said, trying hard to keep her voice level and void of emotion, “in all the years you were out of my life, did you ever wonder about me?” This was the first of many questions that came to mind. The first one that demanded an answer.

  “Every single day.” His eyes didn’t waver from hers. “Not a day went by that I didn’t think about you. We might have been apart, but you were right next to my heart, Ellie. Always and forever. I thought about you on your birthday, at Christmas. I wondered how you did in school and if you played the piano the way your mother and grandmother did. I lay awake at night dreaming of the little girl I barely had a chance to know, although I’ve loved you your entire life.”

  Ellie wanted to believe him, but she’d seen precious little evidence of it. She hated to be cynical, but she found his declaration of love hard to fathom. “But you never … not even once took the time to write or call or contact me.”

  “No,” he said, and hung his head as if the weight of his failure as her father demanded that he look away. “When your mother and I first split, I did everything within my power to get visitation rights.”