Night Light

  Her gaze drifted down to her ring. It represented so many dreams. But those dreams had changed. And so had she.

  Craig lifted her chin and kissed her. “Come on, Deni. I’m ready to go home,” he whispered. “I’m ready to start a life with you.”

  “But how?” She pulled out of his arms. “Without any power, we wouldn’t be able to survive in your town house. We couldn’t grow food. Where do you even get water?”

  He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll get a place closer to the Senate Building so I can get back and forth. I’ll get the food that’s brought in for the senate staff. We’ll be well provided for.”

  She tried to imagine that. “But what will I do?” she asked. “I’d be alone most of the time, without a job or anything.”

  “You can take care of our house. You’ve gotten good at that kind of thing.”

  “Not by choice,” she said. “It’s different when it’s a team effort, for a real purpose. We do what we can to survive. I’d be all alone there.”

  “You wouldn’t be alone. You have lots of friends there.”

  The friends she had made during college had probably gone back home to their families as soon as the trains started running. She doubted there were many still there, but even if there were, that seemed like so long ago. So much had happened. Before the outage she had been ready to sever her ties with her parents and start a new life of her own. But things were so different now.

  Still … she had longed for weeks for Craig to come and get her, to take her back with him. Did she really want to hesitate? Maybe she was just tired.

  “It’s just that I always hoped for a pretty wedding with a beautiful dress. A little more time to plan. At least I could have some of my dreams.”

  “We’ll do that later,” he said, “after the outage is over. We’ll have a big shindig and get all dressed up and you can wear the veil and the whole bit. How’s that sound?”

  Not good, she thought. “It wouldn’t be the same, Craig.”

  “No, it wouldn’t, but nothing’s the same. Everything’s changed. We might as well get over it.” He leaned down, pressing his forehead against hers. “Think of it, Deni. We can get married and get on that train and go back to where our lives are supposed to be. And trust me, when the lights start coming back on, they’re going to come on in Washington first. You’ll be the first one in line to get Katie Couric’s job.”

  The thought of her pre-outage plans began to fill her up again. “It is the right thing, isn’t it?”

  “Of course it is,” he said. “It’s always been the right thing.”

  fifty-five

  DENI’S PARENTS WERE GETTING READY FOR BED WHEN SHE knocked on their door.

  The burning candles had the scent of mulberries. Her parents were sitting on the bed, her father leaned back against his pillows, and her mother sitting Indian-style in the center of the bed facing him. Deni felt guilty stealing this time from them, when they had so little time to talk alone.

  “Mom, Dad, can I talk to you for a minute?”

  “Sure,” her mother said, turning around on the bed. She patted the mattress, inviting her to join them.

  Deni sat, kicked off her shoes, and pulled her feet under her.

  “What’s wrong?” The shadows on her father’s face accentuated the concern she saw there. She hated to give him one more thing to worry about.

  “I just wanted to tell you that I’ve made a decision.”

  She saw the dread passing over her mother’s face. “What is it?”

  “Craig needs to get back to work. He wants us to get married in the next few days so I can go back with him to Washington.”

  Doug sat up straight, those shadows moving down his face. “What’s the rush?”

  “Craig came here just to get me, Dad. Now he’s got to get back. He has important work to do.”

  The candlelight caught the glisten of tears in her mother’s eyes. “But we haven’t had time to plan for it,” she said. “That doesn’t even give us much time for you to pack. Why can’t you wait a week … two weeks? A month? Why don’t you just plan to get married on your original wedding date?”

  “Because he doesn’t want to sit here for another month.”

  “Then he could go back without you,” Doug said, “and you could go to him on the train. Or he could come back before the wedding, and we could do it right.”

  She picked at a thread on their bedspread. “I’d miss him too much. I don’t want to wait. I want to get married now, with my family here to celebrate it with us. Besides, it’s too expensive going back and forth.”

  Doug looked flabbergasted. “So you want to get married now?”

  Kay got off the bed and looked down at her. “Deni, you need to think through this. You’re settling for something. This isn’t like you.”

  “Mom, everything we’ve done since the outage has been settling for something. Nothing’s the way it should be. I’ve watched you and Dad make the best of things, and I’m trying to do the same thing. Even though I can’t have the beautiful wedding I’d planned, I can still get married.”

  “But maybe you can have the beautiful wedding.” Kay got on her knees on the mattress and knelt in front of her. “Deni, we could find you a dress. Every woman in Oak Hollow has her dress boxed in her closet. Someone would let you borrow everything you need. We could have a gorgeous outdoor wedding by the lake. It could be everything you’d hoped, if you’ll just wait.”

  “I have waited. I’ve waited months to be with Craig, and now I can be. I don’t want to be separated from him again.”

  Her father got off the bed, raked his hand through his hair. “Deni, he’s the one determined to go back. If he loves you, if he doesn’t want to be separated, let him stay.”

  “He has a career, Dad. He didn’t lose his job because of the outage like 99 percent of America did. He’s needed. This is who I’m marrying.”

  “That’s what I’m afraid of,” Kay said.

  Deni looked at her mother, stunned. “What do you mean?”

  Kay’s voice was low, as if she feared Craig might overhear. “Are you sure he’s the one you want to spend your life with?”

  She couldn’t believe they were still skeptical, even after he’d come all this way for her. “Of course I am, Mom.”

  “But, honey, you broke up with him three weeks ago. You said he wasn’t right for you.”

  “But I misunderstood everything. I jumped to conclusions. It’s what I do. He came. I didn’t think he loved me, but he does, and he wants me to be with him.”

  “So you’re going to abandon everything and just take off with him?” Doug asked.

  Deni rolled her eyes. “Dad, I was going to do that anyway before the outage. I can’t live with my parents the rest of my life.”

  “I didn’t expect you to, but I was hoping you would at least stay here during the outage. If you’re so far away in Washington, we can’t help you if you get into trouble. People need their families right now. And how are you going to survive?”

  “We’ll survive right along with all the other senators and their staffs. And God’s not going to let me starve after he’s brought us this far.”

  Kay went into her bathroom and came back with a hand towel. Dabbing at her eyes, she said, “He’s not right for you, Deni.”

  “Mom, he’s my fiancé!”

  “No, I’m sorry. I have to say it. There are things wrong with this union. I had seen it before, but I didn’t know until he came here how bad it was.”

  Deni got to her feet and gaped at her mother. “What do you mean, how bad it was? He’s a great guy. I love him.”

  “Deni, he’s going to make you miserable.”

  Her mouth fell open. “Mom, that’s awful. It’s not true.”

  Kay’s lips were tight. “Deni, you’re a Christian now. He’s not. The Bible tells you not to be unequally yoked.”

  “But you were going to let me marry him before. How come it’s a problem now
?”

  “We had doubts then too,” Doug said. “But it’s so clear that he’s not a Christian … and you are.”

  She bristled. “You have no right to judge him.”

  “Deni, I’m not judging him,” Doug said. “I’m repeating what he told me. I’ve tried talking to him about Christ, but yesterday he told me point-blank that he doesn’t buy into the whole religion thing. He said that he doesn’t even believe in God.”

  He had her there. She wished Craig had kept his mouth shut. He had just made things worse. “That doesn’t make him an awful person.”

  “No, it doesn’t. It just gives him different goals, different priorities, different values. How can you share your life with someone who doesn’t share your most basic, core beliefs?”

  “How are you going to raise your children?” Kay asked.

  She threw up her hands. “He’ll let me take my children to church,” she said. “And I’ll lead him to Christ eventually.”

  “Fine. But don’t marry him until you do,” Doug said. “Deni, you know what the Bible says about marrying someone who doesn’t share your faith. God commanded that for a reason. It’s important. God wants to bless you, and he knows what problems you’ll encounter with a man who doesn’t share your goals and values. I’m worried about Craig’s character.”

  “Oh, that is totally absurd,” Deni cried. “He’s got great character.”

  “Think about the way he’s treated the kids. I want you to think about how hard he worked today. While everybody else was slaving away, he was finding ways to get out of it.”

  “So he’s more comfortable behind a desk than swinging a shovel. That doesn’t mean he’s wrong for me.”

  Kay hung her head and stared at her feet, as if searching for another argument. When she looked up, defeat had changed her face. Tears rolled down her cheeks. “We’re worried about you, Deni. We want you to be happy. We love you.”

  “This isn’t about you loving me,” she said. “This is about you wanting to control me. You just don’t want me out of your grip.”

  Doug stepped between them. “Don’t talk to your mother like that, Deni.”

  It was just like him to change the subject. She took a deep breath and lowered her voice. “I’m twenty-two years old. I know what I’m doing. I’m not going to be able to convince you to like Craig. You’ve never liked him and that’s been pretty clear from the beginning. But the fact is, I’m an adult and I’m going to marry him, and I came in here to tell you that I’m leaving on the train in a few days. I’d like to get married here if I can have your blessing.”

  Doug just stared at her. “I can’t bless this marriage, Deni. It’s wrong.”

  Astonished, she faced off with him. Did he really think that would make her change her mind? Digging her heels in, she said, “Then maybe we’ll just get married in Washington.”

  Her parents were speechless. It was like a chess game. She felt like saying, checkmate.

  But her father got the last word. “Maybe that would be best.”

  She stood searching for something to say in return, something that would put a knife through his heart. But nothing came to her.

  And then she realized that it was her pride speaking, making her want to hurt them as they were hurting her. The fight drained out of her.

  She opened the door, and without saying another word, stepped into the darkness of the hall.

  fifty-six

  DENI LAY IN BED THAT NIGHT, STARING AT THE CEILING. LITTLE Sarah lay curled up next to her like a kitten, and Beth slept on the other side, the soft sound of her breathing percussing lightly in the quiet. Candlelight flickered on the wall, dancing in the shadows, a night-light for little Sarah. Thoughts of all the things Deni needed to do before she left with Craig paraded through her mind, demanding her attention. She wished she could get up and make a list so she wouldn’t forget anything.

  He’s not right for you, Deni. He’s going to make you miserable.

  Her parents were so wrong. She tried to picture her life with Craig ten years from now. She saw herself in an evening gown at a political fund-raiser, laughing and introducing people, her husband dapper and sophisticated as he networked his way around the room. She could be a good political wife. She’d be like Maria Shriver, holding down her own career while campaigning for her husband. They would have a wonderful life, and her parents would see how wrong they’d been.

  Besides, she knew she could lead Craig to Christ, maybe even before they tied the knot. He was a logical person, after all. He had seen how God had provided for them. He just needed persuading.

  Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

  She had read those words from 2 Corinthians 6 a thousand times since she’d given her life to the Lord, searching for loopholes, looking up the original Greek in her father’s concordance, reading the commentaries on his bookshelves. But how many ways were there to say do not?

  But didn’t those verses start with the premise that Craig was wicked? No, of course he wasn’t. She wouldn’t have fallen in love with a wicked person. But then another verse drifted back into her mind.

  There is none righteous; no, not one.

  Except for the blood of Jesus that washed away her sins, wasn’t she wicked, herself? Hadn’t she been so caught in her sins that they dragged her across the country in the hands of a killer? Hadn’t she been in bondage to sin, before Christ set her free?

  Craig just needed to be set free.

  New urgency rose up inside her, and she told herself that she needed to talk to him now. It couldn’t wait until morning. She would reason with him tonight, and by the time morning came, he would be a new creature.

  Then her parents would approve.

  Quietly, she got dressed and glanced back at the bed. Sarah and Beth slept undisturbed.

  She slipped out of her room and padded up the carpeted hall to Beth’s room, where Craig slept.

  The door was closed, so she tapped on it, then turned the knob and slipped it open. She pulled it shut behind her, so she wouldn’t wake anyone else. She saw him lying there on top of the covers, wearing a T-shirt and a pair of running shorts. She hated to wake him up, but his soul needed saving. He would thank her later.

  She lit the lamp beside his bed, then knelt on the floor and stroked her fingers through his hair. “Craig? Wake up, honey. I need to talk to you.”

  He stirred, then forced his eyes open. Squinting in the light, he said, “What is it?”

  “Wake up,” she said again. “We need to talk.”

  “About what?”

  “About us. Our marriage.”

  He rubbed his eyes and sat up. “Can’t it wait? What time is it?”

  “I don’t know,” she said.

  “Deni, whatever it is can wait. I’m tired.”

  “I’m tired too,” she said. “But this is important. The most important thing in your life.”

  Finally, he sat up and raked his hands through his hair. “This better be good.”

  She suddenly found herself groping for the right word. “Craig, my parents are worried about me marrying an atheist. The truth is, I’m worried too.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Tell me you didn’t wake me up to talk about religion, Deni.”

  “Not religion,” she said. “Christianity. There’s a difference. Craig, something changed in me when I was on the road trying to get to you. God showed me what a rebel I was.”

  “Come on!” He got up and walked across the room, got his watch, and put it under the light. “It’s two a.m. What’s wrong with this picture?”

  “Craig, listen. God showed me where my sin had taken me, and even though I had gone my own way and was completely disobedient to him and my parents, he rescued me and provided for me.”

  “How can you be disobedient when you
’re twenty-two years old? You’re not a child, Deni. Your parents can’t demand obedience if you’re an adult.”

  She wondered if he’d heard anything she’d just said. “Craig, this isn’t about my parents. Listen to me. I’m talking about my relationship with God. There was a brick wall between myself and him because of my sin. But Jesus saved me from my sin, just as surely as he saved me from the hands of a murderer.”

  “I thought you told me your dad saved you from the killer.”

  He wasn’t listening. “Craig, God was there, working. He provided people to help me along the way — food, water, and yes, he helped my dad get to me. Don’t you understand what I’m saying?”

  “Of course I do, Deni. I’m not an idiot.”

  “But do you believe that it was God who helped me? Do you believe that Christ changed me?”

  He looked at her for a long moment and sighed. “I see some changes in you, yes. But we’ve all changed since the outage.” He looked down at his bare feet. “Deni, if you want to believe in Jesus, that’s fine. It doesn’t bother me at all. I can respect your beliefs if you can respect mine. Two independent adults, deciding to spend their lives together. That works for me.”

  “But Craig, my Christianity is who I am.”

  “Great,” he said. “It’ll make you unique. I have nothing against Christians. But I don’t like being proselytized, Deni. I have my own mind, and my own beliefs.”

  “But that’s just it, Craig. You don’t believe in … anything.”

  “I believe in myself,” he said. “It’s always served me well before.”

  She sat back on the bed, looking up at him, knowing that she had struck out. He arrogantly believed he didn’t need a savior. That was why Jesus had said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit.” Those who were poor in spirit knew they were buried in sin.

  And only Jesus had done something about it.

  On the road running from death itself, she had been poor in spirit. But Craig never had been.

  Her heart sank, and she knew she had to make a decision. But when he leaned down and kissed her, that resolve and determination inside of her melted. And her desire to spend her life with him swirled anew inside her.