Love Unrehearsed

  “Definite raise,” I muttered, taking in the huge soaking tub made for two.

  Ryan came back inside and slipped his hand across my shoulder as he leaned to turn the water faucet on. It was when he started to undress me that I felt uneasy. The day had been too mentally taxing for a rousing bout of sex.

  “Ryan, I’m not . . .”

  He kissed my shoulder and shushed me. “I know, baby. That’s not the point of this.”

  He stripped off his clothes and climbed into the tub first, holding out a hand as I stepped in. The hot water felt magnificent and instantly leeched some of the tension from my body. I rested my head on his chest, wishing that moments like these could be norm between us and for the most part, they were.

  “You okay?” he murmured as I got comfortable on him.

  I nodded. His soapy hands slid up and down my back, over my arms, up through the tenseness of my neck.

  “Good. Just relax.”

  “You’re so quiet,” I murmured after a while, needing to break the silence.

  “I was thinking about something you said to me on the first day we met.” He sluiced more hot water over my arm, warming my exposed skin.

  “Oh?”

  He dipped us deeper into the water, seeming concerned that my shoulders were cold. They were. “I was sitting at your bar and you were doing your best to ignore me.”

  I remembered doing that, but didn’t want to admit it. I chased a few soap bubbles around on his chest with my finger. “I was not.”

  Ryan squeezed me. “Yes, you were. Don’t lie.”

  “Damn. Okay. Maybe just a little. I was freaked-out that you were even there.”

  With his lips on my temple, he said, “I wanted to get you to talk to me and I asked you if you were always this quiet and you said something like ‘I’m sure the silence and peace is refreshing.’” Our gazes met. “I just want you to relax and not worry about things.”

  And just like that, he was making my world peaceful. “When I close my eyes, I can almost ignore it all,” I said.

  “Then close your eyes.”

  “If only it were that easy.”

  I felt his chest rise and fall, making the water ripple.

  “I’m sorry about the Thomas thing. I—”

  Ryan raised my chin with his fingertip, making eye contact. “Do I need to be concerned about it?”

  I shook my head and quickly said, “No.”

  He let my chin go. “Then I’m not worried about it. I sort of expected it, actually.”

  I looked back up at him. “You did?”

  His elbow came up out of the water and rested on the edge of the tub. “Tar, you and I are all over the news. Shit always gets dredged up. It was only a matter of time before one of your ex-boyfriends tried to stake a claim. He doesn’t have any dirt on you, does he?”

  I winced from the thought. “I don’t think so.”

  Ryan was silent for so long, I thought maybe he’d dozed off, but his tempered breathing told me otherwise.

  “So what else is stirring in your thoughts?” His fingers skimmed along my jaw. “I can’t read your mind but I know it’s going a million miles an hour, so you have to tell me where your head’s at.”

  “My head is still stunned, fighting with the feeling that everything has changed and yet nothing has changed.”

  His hand slid down to my rear, curling my leg over his thigh. “Dwelling on your ex?”

  I heard the minute tinge of worry in his question. “No. Not dwelling. Not at all. But I am processing.

  He told me he slept with that girl because he was mad that I left him in bed to go help Pete.”

  Ryan made a derisive snort. “Are you serious?”

  “Serious.”

  “What an asshole. His loss.” Then he nudged me with his chin. “You upset about it?”

  I rested my hand on his broad shoulder, feeling his heartbeat on my cheek. “No. I never knew why he cheated on me. I’ve spent way too much time thinking that I wasn’t good enough.”

  His hand cupped my head and he kissed my hair tenderly. “Don’t ever think that.”

  “It’s hard not to. Whatever. At least now I know why he did it.”

  His cheek brushed my forehead. “Then I’m glad you got closure. There are too many past hurts standing in our way. Yours and mine.”

  I had to remind myself that we’d both been betrayed by lovers. “His infidelity broke me.”

  He tipped my chin up again and kissed me. “Nothing that I can’t fix.” He smiled gently, warming my battered spirit. I loved this man so deeply I could hardly contain it, knowing that he would weather any storm in our path. I needed to kiss him more than I needed anything else in the world.

  Ryan’s teeth grazed my bottom lip but then he pulled back, not letting himself get carried away, though I could see that he had to fight his body for control. Knowing that he was restraining his urges to care for me this way was more than any gift he could ever give me. I rested on his chest, content in knowing that he’d get me through whatever life had in store for me.

  Regardless of my feelings for Thomas, seeing him cry at Melanie’s funeral emotionally ravaged me and those thoughts of her passing were still swirling in my mind. “I can’t believe Melanie is gone. It’s hard to process that.”

  “It sucks. I had a good friend in high school die in a car wreck. For weeks after it happened, I could have sworn I heard his voice in the halls.” He took a deep breath. “I was supposed to hang out with him the night he died. When I think about how close I came to . . . well, I think about it sometimes.”

  I glanced up at him, grateful to be able to share these things.

  “Wasn’t your time.”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  “It’s been a few years since I’d seen her last. I guess that put some distance in our friendship. And I know that Thomas is devastated by it. He came looking for comfort and we sort of jumped on him. I feel crappy about it, actually. They both were a huge part of my life for a lot of years. I shouldn’t have treated him so callously.”

  Ryan sniffed and I could tell he didn’t agree. “I know you two have history but he had to be told that that’s where it stays . . . in the past. I have enough shit to worry about without having to worry about him trying to worm his way back into your life.”

  I groaned, wrapping my thigh over his. “He’s not going to worm his way back in. You know you have nothing to worry about.”

  “Just making sure it stays that way. Still, he needed to hear that from me. You leave a guy an in and he’ll take it.”

  “I’d say you got your point across. Doesn’t matter. He’s history.”

  Ryan cupped some water and poured it down his face. I could sense his frustration.

  “Are you really that bothered by him?”

  “No.” He sighed and rubbed his forehead.

  “Then what is it?”

  He seemed hesitant. “We got other shit to worry about.”

  I held his eyes until he broke. “I know this isn’t the best time to talk about this but I want to keep you informed before you hear it from someone else.”

  I closed my eyes, fearing what he had to say.

  “Marla is threatening to sue me for breach of contract.”

  I actually relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief before fully processing his words. “What?”

  “My lawyer, Len Bainbridge, called me yesterday. He and David are working it out but I have to settle up with her. Her bill was seventy-five thousand.”

  “Are you going to pay that?”

  “I’m going to have to. But not until we get all the expensive lawyers involved first.”

  “God, she’s infuriating. I still think she’s the one who leaked your anxiety medicine to the press.”

  “I think so, too. Can’t prove it, though, unless we find the source. I’ll mention that to my lawyer.”

  “Well, I doubt it was Trish. She’s got too much to lose being that careless. And it surely wasn’
t Mike.

  None of my friends know, well, besides Marie. Your family wouldn’t talk to the press, so that leaves David, Marla, or the woman at the pharmacy.”

  “David wouldn’t talk to the press.”

  “Well, then what does that tell you?”

  “Tells me that the list of people I can trust just got smaller.”

  I was feeling mostly relaxed and right with the world when we came back to the apartment on Sunday—that was until we had to deal with the four fangirls camped out by my back door. I was shocked that these college-aged girls had nothing more important to do with their lives than hang out in an alleyway all day hoping for a glimpse of Ryan.

  Ryan, of course, was gracious as always, signing crap and posing several times until they were all satisfied with the pictures they captured.

  We have to move, I thought as we trudged up the steps, trying to be loud enough so we wouldn’t walk into an awkward situation going on inside my apartment.

  Mike was sprawled out on my couch, wearing nothing but baggy gray sweatpants, a black sleeveless undershirt, and a well-sated glow. He looked like a giant lion lying belly-up in the sun with his legs hanging open, licking his paws and airing out his balls. I figured Marie would be twined around him, enjoying their postcoital bliss, but she was in the kitchen making coffee.

  “You both look well rested,” she said, smiling at Ryan and me. Ryan winked at her and took our bags to our room.

  I took a cup out of the cabinet. “We had a couples massage yesterday. I wish I could hire someone to do nothing but rub my shoulders every day. You look well ridden and glowing yourself.”

  “You know it.” Marie gave me a high-five. She carried a cup of coffee out to Mike. Ryan had his feet up on my coffee table, looking just as relaxed and contented as his buddy. The lascivious grins flying around my living room were humorous. I felt my body heat up just from thinking about what Ryan did to me that morning . . . and the night before . . . and after our couples massage yesterday.

  The way Mike looked at Marie, I wondered if he was already falling in love with her.

  Marie sat on the arm of the couch next to Mike. I liked seeing him reach for her with tender familiarity, as if he couldn’t wait to touch her again. “Do you think you guys can help me today?” Her eyes traveled over each of us. “I’d like to get some of my stuff from my old house.”

  Within an hour, we were all standing in Gary’s front yard. Seeing Marie have to knock on her own front door to gain access infuriated me. The bastard actually had the audacity to change all the door locks on her. Gary came out of the house, pulling the door shut behind him.

  “Just let me get my clothes!” Marie screamed at him, shaking with frustration. The first few times she tried to ask nicely and beg him to let her in didn’t work.

  Gary jingled the car keys in his hands, blocking our entry into the house. “You should have called first.

  I’ve got someplace to be. Now’s not a good time.”

  Marie groaned loudly. I knew how irritated she felt; I wanted to choke the asshole myself.

  “Gary, easy.” Ryan tried the friendly and nonthreatening approach first, placating him. “Let us just get some of her things. Just her clothing and stuff and then we’ll be out a here. We won’t take anything else.

  You have my word.”

  Gary snorted with derision, stepping into Ryan’s path. “Screw you, Ryan. Stay the hell out of my house.

  This is all your fucking fault, you know. Shit was fine until you came around.”

  I bristled with horror when Gary said that. How the hell could Ryan be responsible for the demise of their marriage? In an instant, Mike shouldered up to Ryan, forever in protection mode. I could see the anger roiling through him as he squeezed his hands into fists. I had no doubt Mike desired to level Gary just for the sheer enjoyment of it.

  Ryan appeared just as surprised as we all were. “My fault? You’re kidding, right?”

  Marie moved closer to the door. “What is wrong with you? How the hell is any of this his fault? You’re delusional.”

  Gary sneered at her. “Oh, fuck you, Marie. I am so sick and tired of hearing how their life is so fucking perfect and ours isn’t. Ryan does this and Ryan does that. It’s like nothing I’ve ever done for you was good enough. So you know what? I just don’t give a fuck anymore. Some other asshole can live up to your expectations now. I pity the next guy that puts up with your shit.”

  My eyes quickly bounced from Gary to Mike, catching a twitch in his jaw from Gary’s verbal slap.

  Marie looked as if she were about to buckle at the knees.

  “I hate you,” Marie breathed out, holding back her tears.

  “Whatever,” Gary sneered at her as if he truly didn’t care anymore. Watching her three-year marriage crumble was painful. How quickly people go from wedded bliss to murderous glares. My heart broke for her.

  She started after him but Mike grabbed her by the wrist. Her eyes bounced from his hand to his face, watching as Mike silently told her to stop with a shake of his head.

  Gary appeared affronted by Mike’s intervention. “What, she’s fucking you now? I knew it. I fucking knew it. How long, huh? How long you been screwing around behind my back, Marie? Couldn’t get the fucking movie star you’re so in love with so you settle for his babysitter. That’s rich.”

  Marie gasped. “You bastard! You’re the one who fucked some stupid skank, not me! You! Where is your little T-shirt-wearing whore, huh? She inside?”

  “Only whore here is you,” Gary retorted.

  “Oh my God. I can’t believe you just said that.” I wanted to slap him so hard, he’d see stars for days.

  Ryan grabbed my wrist, keeping me from moving any farther across the lawn.

  Mike stepped his hulking body into Gary’s path, protectively guiding Marie behind his back. “Careful what you say to her, man.”

  Gary glared at him. “This doesn’t concern you.”

  I was surprised Gary was brazen enough to pick a fight with Mike.

  “Marie,” Gary barked, expecting her to jump.

  Mike never took his eyes off Gary. He pulled Marie back again, keeping his body in between the two of them. “You’re done talking to her. You talk to me now.”

  Gary’s hand curled into a fist, dropping some of his keys between the knuckles. “Oh, is that right?”

  “She’s not your concern anymore,” Mike said low and deliberately, clearly meant to send a message.

  “You lost the right when you locked her out of her own house.” Mike stood his ground, eyeing the gesture and questioning the absurdity of it. “Better make the first swing count because that’s all you’re gonna get,” he added.

  Gary took a moment to think about it, weighing his odds. Like he had a chance in hell to win that fight.

  He reluctantly backed down. “Marie, tell your friends to get the fuck off my property or I’m calling the cops.” As if to heighten his threat, he pulled his cell out.

  “It’s my property, too, you know,” she argued back.

  Mike glared at him as if he wanted to kill him, then turned and took Marie by the hand and tugged her toward the car, guiding her body in front of his. “Come on. Let’s go.”

  Gary stood in the driveway, enjoying his moment of victory.

  I climbed in the backseat with Marie and put my arm around her shoulder while digging out more tissues.

  “I hate him so much,” Marie whispered through her tears to me.

  “Babe,” Mike said from the driver’s seat as he drove down the block, “your house have a security system?”

  Babe? When the heck did that start?

  Marie wiped her cheek. “No.”

  “Gary own any weapons?”

  My eyes flashed to Ryan, who was staring over at Mike.

  “Yeah,” she answered. “But everything is locked up in the gun safe.”

  “Everything?” Mike questioned again.

  Marie sat up. “He used to keep a revolver
in the nightstand drawer in our bedroom. The rest are hunting rifles.”

  “And where are those?”

  “Gun safe is also in the bedroom.”

  Mike nodded once. “You know where he’s going today? How long he’ll be gone?”

  I heard Ryan mumble something. Mike held up a finger for him to wait.

  Marie sniffed. “No idea.”

  I caught Mike’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “Taryn, directions. I need a hardware store.”

  Forty minutes later, with the aid of a small tool kit, Mike gained us entry into Marie’s house. And I thought my public takedown in Paris was a big deal; I could only imagine what “breaking and entering”

  would look like on the front page. I felt like I was going to rattle out of my skin and then maybe hurl lunch.

  “Stop worrying, Taryn,” Mike said, using one of Gary’s shirts to keep his fingerprints off the revolver he’d found in the nightstand drawer. I watched him unload it with familiar precision. “This is Marie’s house, too. There’s no legal order for her to vacate.”

  Just seeing a gun in proximity to my body was nerve-racking enough; thinking about us getting caught and Ryan’s picture plastered over every gossip magazine had me reevaluating this as a very bad idea.

  Mike pointed a finger at Ryan. “You, out. Marie, grab what you need. Try to be quick about it.” He guided Ryan by the shoulder, steering him toward the door. “We’re waiting outside—off the property line to avoid trespassing charges.”

  I grabbed a garbage bag and started frantically packing whatever Marie told me to take, starting with her clothes.

  Whatever shit we were in, we were in it together.

  “Well, that was fun,” Ryan sarcastically joked, hauling the last garbage bag in through the back door.

  “Damn, something smells good.”

  Mike took a big whiff. “Heck yeah. Taryn, go get us some of that.”

  He made me laugh. “I’ll go beg Tammy to cook us supper.”

  Ryan threw the black bag of clothes over his shoulder. “Invite them up tonight. We can all hang out.”